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This is a question Work Experience

We've got a work experience kid in for a couple of weeks and he'll do anything you tell him to... He's was in the server room most of yesterday monitoring the network activity lights - he almost missed his lunch till we took pity on him.

We are bastards.

How bad was your first experience of work?

(, Thu 10 May 2007, 9:45)
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Good with computers
When I was 14 we had to do two weeks of work experience. Kindly my school spotting that I was "good with computers" (not sure how as we had gloryfied abacusses and no lessons) sorted me out with a fortnight at a company called Camel Computers. I turned up for the inteview where a snotty twat told me that I would spend the first week peeling disk labels off disks followed by a week of sitting behind the admin desk.
Unsurprisingly I told him where to shove his disk labels.

I did want to work for a computer games company though and knowing that the school would now probably line me up with a couple of weeks following the caretaker I went through every computer games magazine I'd ever bought looking for a company either near by or close to anyone I knew. I phoned up a few without much luck, but the owner nearest company asked me to send in my CV, I quickly made one and they asked me to come in and play test their latest game.

On my first day I turned up at 8:55 in a shirt and trousers. At 9:40 the first person turned up to let me in wearing jeans and a death metal t-shirt.

After a week of playing games, I was actually getting a bit bored and started dooddling in D Paint (yeah, it was a log time ago). The lead artist happened to come upstairs to see if I was alright, liked what he saw and got me working on the game they were developing. The two weeks quickly ran out, but the company got me back in every school holiday and paid me. They were apologetic about how much they paid me, but I was actually taking home more money than my mum.

Anyway I last worked there at 19, I was offered a full time job but wanted to do some "growing up" at university. I went on to do other things, but that experience set me up better than any qualification I've ever had.

Apologies for monsterous length, and lack of humour, but work experience isn't always bad.
(, Thu 10 May 2007, 11:17, Reply)
Bean Counting
I went for a weeks work experience as a been counter for a trading company in central London. Not the sort of bean counting to do with accounting, no, I literally had to count beans for a whole week. They bought cocoa beans from around the world and I had to sort them by size and count how many of each size there were to see where the best place to buy the beans from was.

Over the week I counted about 40,000 cocoa beans.

Thank fuck I have a proper job now.
(, Thu 10 May 2007, 11:14, Reply)
I worked in a place that put old cine reels onto DVD for people who couldn't watch them back anymore. My job was to digitally enhance them and do all the fancy jazz stuff with menu's and crap.

And here's the interesting statistic, 7 times out of 10, the Cine Reels were entirely made up of men in the 70's who filmed themselves tossing off.

After 8 hours of that, my mind was actually broken and everything was ruined forever. And i was only on £3p/h!
(, Thu 10 May 2007, 11:09, Reply)
My own work experience
was an uninteresting affair. However, I went to my dad's office the week after and spoke to some of the people there. They'd had a work experience kid come in who, bless his socks, did what he could; but he was a moron. Every job they gave him he attacked enthusastically and somehow managed to fuck up.

Most of the second half of his placement was spent taking the lables out of CD boxes until someone who hadn't met him yet asked him why he was doing it, as the boxes were all being thrown away.
(, Thu 10 May 2007, 11:03, Reply)
The trick is to work with people you know
Spent my work experience at a IT company where I was mates with many of the staff, including the owners.

Great time, me and a mate from school got in there (both knew the company pretty well, which was a small company but the majority of staff spent all day at various customer sites), there was also this other kid from another school.

We'd heard what *normally* happens to work experience kids there, but our expertise (we were administrating our school network on a day to day basis) and our knowledge of the company meant there was discussions over which one of the staff would get our help on sites everyday.

Turned out that I got to work with the one owner, ended up replacing some of the hardware in a few machines and tinkering with the server in the school we were working at. This was all while I was checking the hot ladies out and being checked out by them(!) (the head of IT put one of his cute 17 yr old first year sixth formers on the spot when he talked across the whole class to me about her interest in me, which he overheard when helping someone else).

The guy from the other school? Well he got their typical work experience job...sorting the various screws into the correct boxes. When he complained the owner just said "Don't do it and I'll write that in my report"

As for the rest of us, well due to timetable constraints at my school we couldn't do more than a week work experience. Of this week the company was shutting down on the Thursday and Friday for a Microshite conference in the NEC....First week of first job and a four day weekend \o/
(, Thu 10 May 2007, 11:01, Reply)
A hard graft...
I think I broke school work experience regulations doing my 7-5 shifts as there was some rule about not going in too early.

Anyway I believed sleep was for the weak back then, so would regularly turn up eyes half closed, with the lines from my matress on my face. I remember falling asleep in a one-on-one talk with the guy whos wing I was under, which was quite embarassing.

I just asked if we could go a walk round the complex to get some fresh air, after that things were pretty good there and I did pretty much nothing for the next two weeks.

I do remember him writing up my report and me having to correct his spelling errors though. Which was odd.
(, Thu 10 May 2007, 11:00, Reply)
Not really my first day at work
but on my first day as a research student, doing "proper" lab work and experiments instead of just repeating what millions of others had done before, I was walking back to my car full of the joys of spring (for spring it was) when I discovered the glass which had previously comprised the nearside front window had become lots of little bits of glass on the ground. And there was a hole in the dashboard where my radio had been.

Thieving bastards. To think they could have opened the door with a screwdriver in the lock too. I used to do it regularly. Old MkII Cavaliers didn't have much in the way of security!
(, Thu 10 May 2007, 10:59, Reply)
The best placement I did (Placement/work experience - it's all the same thing) was when I was working in Sheffield for the DFES (King's Court on Hanover Way, the big glass building).

Since I was working with Civil Servants, I was inducted into their "ways".

Nothing sinister I can assure you, but Civil servants drink more than students.....

I was made to spend the first week hammered every night at someone else's cost!

Ugh, what bastards!
(, Thu 10 May 2007, 10:56, Reply)
The QOTW ended with no fanfair!

I've got a few ol' stories - I'll start with this one:

My surname is interesting (ok, it's not really) and it often gets it's spelling mixed up. Much to my annoyance.

Anyhoo - I was doing placement at Grantham Council in the Environmental Health department - which was actually interesting.... Honest.

I turned up on the Monday morning and they were all surprised that I turned up. The reason? My name had gone through a series of chinese whispers and had been written as a scottish name.

Oh, hang on, this is a shit story.

(, Thu 10 May 2007, 10:53, Reply)
My first job was in 1995, working as an intern in the IT department at a hair-care products company outside Minneapolis. Not half a bad job on the whole, but when they were still figuring out what sort of things they should have me do, they asked me to reformat some 3.5" floppy disks so they could reuse them. (again: 1995)

By the time I was done, I had a stack that was nearly as tall as I was. I'm 6' 1" now, and probably wasn't much shorter then. Can't say I minded that much, as I had thought to bring a book with me and the office had Internet access.

I didn't apologize for length then, and I'm not about to now, even though the microSD card in my cell phone probably can store as much data as that whole stack could, and doesn't make GRONK GRONK noises while being read or written.
(, Thu 10 May 2007, 10:53, Reply)
Backstage hijinks
My first "Real" job was working backstage at a touring venue in Essex & in my few years there I saw my share of work experience nimrods. Jobs doled out by myself and others included:

Handing one kid a big box of cut gels that had accumulated over half a year of shows, a grease pencil and a swatch book & telling her to sort them out into a filing system.

Asking another kid to call StageTec and get the current price on a Long Weight (Yes, this is in the StageTec catalogue - call for pricing). About 2 hours later he came in fuming "They put me on hold for 20 minutes and hung up!" "Did you call them back?" "Yeah, for 3 hours!"... I don't think he ever did get the joke.

And the coup de grace...

Putting a nimrod up the Tallescope (telescopic ladder) with a comedy feather duster & telling him he was to clean the lighting rig without jogging any of the lamps.... Which he dutifully did, then we took them all down and re-rigged.

Yeah, we were rotters but I remain unrepentant.
(, Thu 10 May 2007, 10:53, Reply)
Good Old Fashioned Bullying!
When we were at school, we all got sent to work somewhere for two weeks. A mate of mine got sent to a local printers, where the workforce were almost exclusively intimidating blokes who were big on piss takes and small on sympathy.

My mate, being a bit short, chubby, spotty and worst of all, ginger, got a fair old bit of stick, but he was most upset when he got home one afternoon and took his jacket off to discover that he'd spent the whole day, and the whole of the bus journey home, with a note stuck to his back that said "I like little boys...."
(, Thu 10 May 2007, 10:51, Reply)
Cotton mill fancies
In the early 70s there was still a cotton industry in Lancashire. When I was 14 I got a summer job in the local cotton mill where my mum worked. My job was clearing away the cotton waste generated by carding and spinning machines and sticking them into big sacks in a deep dark basement. This is what they make socks out of, for your interest.

Anyway, I had to crawl under these huge noisy machines gathering up all the shite.

It was so loud that the women who worked there (who weren't exactly young babes) 'talked' in sign language.

And it was so hot in there that they wore nothing except light overalls. Nothing.

And of course as I would be crawling along they would be flapping their legs aroubd trying to keep their minges cool so Id regulary get the sight and smell of 60yr old fannies dripping in sweat. It was hell - and I thought they did it on purpose as even I could hear them cackling over the sound of the machines

One day I couldnt bear it, got up from the machine room floor to find my mum staring at me in a sort of embarrassed way.
(, Thu 10 May 2007, 10:38, Reply)
Shut him up
When i was a wee bit younger, i would go in some saturday mornings to my dads work, where for me generally sweeping up and helping out i would get an overly generous payment ranging between £5-£20 (depending on how much stuff i broke / stole / sprayed with adhesive and stuck to things). been quite quiet, i somehow attracted the attention of the people in the office, who would never miss a chance to pick on the quiet kid (my brother included =/).
One day, one of the guys from the office who was quite happily ripping the shit out of me asked how much i was getting for coming in.
"about a fiver more than you" i said with a smile.
He didn't talk to me for about 3 years afterwards.
appologies for length, but i eventualy got pleasantries
(, Thu 10 May 2007, 10:37, Reply)
I decided I couldn't be bothered sorting out my work experience when I was at school, so the school did it for me ... turned out to be a result too ... got a placement at a local bookstore, which later turned into a very productive and well-paid part time job when I turned 16. :D

We'll be getting a work experience lad next week ... hopefully hilarity will ensue.

Apologies for lack of waffles, but hey, first post and all. *pop*
(, Thu 10 May 2007, 10:34, Reply)
Langford House Veterinary Practice (Where they filmed "Vet School")
I was 15; I thought it would be my dream work experience placement...

How wrong I was, I have never met such a bunch of arrogant stuck-up cunts. The vets were all public school arseholes who were rude to the veterinary nurses and me, the veterinary nurses were bitter at being treated like second class citizens so took it out on me. I guess shit really does flow downhill.

After a couple of days of disinfecting everything, wiping up shit and watching animals be put down I jumped at the chance to go out with the sexy young Australian vet who did all the farms in the area, bouncing around in a Land Rover was much more fun than wiping up shit & waiting for the next thing to disinfect/be put down.

So I spent the next few days ankle deep in cow shit watching the sexy Australian vet up to her shoulder in the gaping rear-ends of hundreds of cows. There was a difficult moment where I suggested they enjoyed it but the moment passed when she dropped her pen in the shit & I retrieved it and cleaned it off like the gentleman I was/am.

I worked really hard all week & never complained when I had to do nasty jobs. Apart from being told off for lightly smacking a badly behaved dog (hey, it worked & it was out of customer sight) I thought I did a pretty good job. My reward...possibly the worst report a work experience kid had ever got at my school, I was called "lazy and unpunctual" despite my mother driving me there at least 10 minutes early every morning.

Vets...I shit 'em (then clean it up & disinfect the area).
(, Thu 10 May 2007, 10:19, Reply)
Estate Agents
I wanted to be an Estate Agent as a Kid.
Looked like fun and in the 80's they were raking it in.

My weeks work experiance (at Brown and not so Merry) consisted of sitting in the office listening to them talk crap and occasionally going out to view a house.

Put me right off the job, you needed to be a loudmouthed cockey tw@t to get anywhere in the business and that just wasn't me.

We used to get work experiance people here at work. Had some right laughs with a few of them, especially the girls, when I was about 18-19 it was freaking fantastic :P

I'll never forget Rachael who asked me back to her parents house to look at her kittens......

We don't get them here anymore, the school complained that the kid's kept coming back all disheartened and put off from going into construction.
Maybe it was the week of myself and the other draughtsmen telling them it's shit and to find another industry to work in.
(, Thu 10 May 2007, 10:18, Reply)
at the local old Midland Bank...
My first work experience placement, sat reorganising the cash register as the monkey before me had left it in a state and disorganised, pulled one of the notes out and set the alarm off.
Shutters flew up, armed police surrounding the building 30 seconds later and me pretty much crapping myself thinking "shit shit shit shit shit shit"
Had to close the branch for the rest of the day, only 3 hours but cost them a fair bit of cash that day.
Also, got let into the vault and had to count out £750,000 - a fair bit of cash when you are just turned 15, I literally had the devil and angel sat on my shoulders saying "go on, its only £50k and they don't search you"
"no, don't do it, it's not worth it, you're an honest boy"
So close to nicking it but decided not to.
(, Thu 10 May 2007, 10:11, Reply)
Huge Tits
I loved my work experience. Worked in an office for a car dealership. The two girls in the office had the biggest tits I have ever seen on women. And yes you guessed it I was tossing off every chance I had in the bogs. Just had to remember those low cut tops. Ahhhh memories I can still remember them now.

My beta virginity has been lost!
(, Thu 10 May 2007, 10:10, Reply)
solvent abuse
anyways. my work experience:

I went to a printing company that specialised in printing logos on sellotape. Boring?

Hell no! I spent a week getting high off ink fumes. All day long I would inhale paint/pain thinner and be absolutely raving. it was a old (80{+}yrs) building with fuck all consideration to ventilation, as a result you couldn't help breathing it in.

the best part was all the staff openly admitted that's why everyone was so friendly and open. Some would even huff brush cleaners with their morning coffee.

actually no the best part was a thirty year old shrink wrapping machine that blew melted plastic fumes in your face. It broke down an hour into my using it, just as well really as by then everyone was melting and the air was going opaque.

Coming back to school, everyone had to give a presentation on their work experience. I found everyone else had had a shit time in stuffy offices. My report was thus

"I spent a week at a printing company. the qualifications you need to do this area pair of hands or one had and a really good hook. The whole time I was stoned on ink fumes. I learned that every colour of paint has a different effect on the human mind. I also learned how to skatebord on a pallet trolley and its ok to steal office supplies from other businesses on the industrial estate. "

The last time I was passing through my home town, it had closed down :[
(, Thu 10 May 2007, 10:08, Reply)
Berk experience
I did my work experience in the Jaguar engineering and design plant in Coventry just as they were launching the S type. In spite of there being a huge complex filled with the most expensive and coolest toys in the world, me and my pal Tom basically sat in their cantina colouring in wiring loom diagrams. Oh, and we also sat in a lot of long boring meetings about cup holders.

After one such long boring meeting, I commented to our supervisor that the meeting was hard to follow, to which he replied:
"Yes, they do use a lot of anachronisms."
"Anachronisms?" I ask.
"Yes, like TLA, and SPD. Anachronisms."
I stifled my chuckles, picturing what hilarious anachronisms they would be using, perhaps papyrus for their technical diagrams, or brass dividers to work out angles. What's more, every time I explain this to someone, they just look at me blankly, thereby compounding how funny it is. Am I a git for laughing at their cretinous vocabulary deficiencies?

I spent those two weeks learning that I never want to be an engineer. The fortnight was only enlivened on the last day by one of the engineers taking us for a spin in a prototype XKR, nailing 140 on the A46. I have never been in a car that fast. Woooo!
(, Thu 10 May 2007, 10:04, Reply)
not proud!!
age: 14.
work placement: local golf and squash club
interested level:7
fitness of colleagues:9
fitness of female squash players:10
asked to do load of photocopying?:yes
found loads of old photos in boxes?:yes
damn near pornographic?:yes
nearly caught having a w*nk?:INDEED!!!
(, Thu 10 May 2007, 9:58, Reply)
I made a big impression on my work experience at high school. I broke two machines on the first day (which cost a fortune for them to repair hehehehe), buggered up a load of filing (kinda did that deliberately cos I didn't like the bitch in charge) and for the rest of the time had to avoid a creep called Rory who took every opportunity to grab my arse. Happy days
(, Thu 10 May 2007, 9:58, Reply)
Worked at a TV Station
First day the guy looking after me said 'I guess you will need a report to say how you got on this week' So we sat down and wrote it, saying how great I was :) .
Rest of the week was great fun, highlights included going to the pub with the camera crew and getting pissed on 3 pints (I was 15) and having a huge paper fight in the newsroom that was in camera shot seconds before the live midday news report went out to millons of viewers.
(, Thu 10 May 2007, 9:57, Reply)
I did mine at Canterbury Christ Church University.

Yes it was a placement, I wanted to work at local radio. Sucky.

Anyways, the most fun I had was testing waterproof boots for a field trip (i.e standing in a bucket of water for a long time).

(, Thu 10 May 2007, 9:56, Reply)
Saturday boy in a butchers shop..
Usual story, was sent out to get a 'long weight' from another butchers in town, It took me until the 4th shop i was sent to until i realised is was getting a 'long wait'. Still f@ck em i thought and went down the Arcades for the next 2 hours. They thought they were well funny until i told them i'd not been waiting in the last shop. gutted i fell for it though.
(, Thu 10 May 2007, 9:56, Reply)
I was kicked out of my placement
in a junior school, following a vigourous and lively argument with the headmaster. It ended with me, in disgrace, being asked to return to my high school immediately.

The argument was about Dungeons and Dragons, and escalated from there, with him criticising my attitude and my requesting information as to why I was never given anything interesting to do.

Still, I suppose stimulation and development are not the points of Work Experience. And I came off best, as I stole his many-sided dice.
(, Thu 10 May 2007, 9:48, Reply)

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