So many..
My nickname in the raucous Midlands market town where I started my drinking career was "Gazza", which I hated. I mean.. ffs

This became "Shirty" at Uni due to my collection of lurid and disgusting striped and Hawaiian shirts that I acquired during a part time job at a clothes shop in the same town, and were all the rage at Cleo's at the time but not so popular in the Officer's mess (we weren't officers btw). Which is why I wore them. So many people in the UK still struggle to remember my real name, including some *cough Pete* I've known for more than 10 years.

Elmo - our good mate Stu who crapped out of Uni after a couple of mental years. Was rabbiting away drunk on the dancefloor in his top banana Cockney accent when Jim told him he sounded like Elmo Putney out of Brush Strokes. Heh. By the end of Uni half the staff and most of the kids & forces dudes didn't know mine or Elmo's real names, which was amusing as fook.

Gwyn - not even his real name but the one he enrolled as (wierdo) - was a nutcase who picked his teeth in lectures with a flickknife, drove insanely fast and talked utter crap. He drank bottles of vodka for tea before regaling us with tales of god-knows-what, leathered, while we were (say) cooking some supper in the kitchen. Or cleaning our rooms. Or whatever. Like - go away !! Mad as a fish, left after one year on account of never being quite on planet Earth. Known as Psycho, the Welsh Wonder, lots of other names too..

Doug. Or Doug "E" Drug. Was quite easily the best and looniest dude I have ever known in me life. We had a party in his garden one fine evening, they dragged all the living room furniture outside. His room at Uni resembled an explosion in a junk shop. Real name Richard.

Cabbage (Karen). A girl I went out with, possibbly a bit of a cruel nick but she never complained. In fact she may even of made it up herself. I cannae remember noo.

Krusty (Kirsty). Another unfortunate nick, she didn't seem to mind too much either. Heh. Her boyfriend was a total hippy who played golf (go figure), I ended up living with him for a while with another dude called Ben. Ben 2 became known as Doctor (after Dr Stupid from Ren & Stimpy).

Tall Paul. Because he was tall, and his name was Paul, maybe. Called himself Paulo Poverini. Legendary substance abuser.

Looroll. Not a nice nickname for Laura (another ex) who actually didn't like that one. I still accidentally call her it. Meh.

Sharkman. Aka Count Sharkula, Sharklander, Sharkpeeg and Sharkster. And boh. Actually that's what most of my mates in the UK call each other - Boh. Easy to remember I guess..

Best ever - FST, FSD, FSG, FSM... Short for Fukcing Stupid Takiss, who was named by my (amusing) boss in Croydon after said chap came across as something of a dimwit. Obviously we all started calling each other derivatives of this (Fukcing Stupid Daron, Fukcing Stupid John... etc) which livened up the long days no end. John rarely addressed Matt by his name but sang "Matt O'Shea, Matt O'Shea, Matt O'Shea.." to the tune of "ere we go". Fun times.

Me ? I'm happy with Monkeyboy now. I mean, the resemblance is there, and there's no way I'm explaining where Shirty came from AGAIN.

Apologies for length but hey, reminiscing makes you feel better, no ?
(Shirtmonkey, Fri 19 May 2006, 22:47, Reply)