When I was a but a wee lad
before I discovered the joys of Lady Palm et al, I found that when I rubbed stuff against my crotch it was rather pleasant. Then followed a few months of me scratching my balls rather firmly and slowly, with a full-handed method. Then came the joyous day when I discovered that if, rather than rubbing something small against myself, I rubbed myself against something big, it was even better.

There then followed a period of, ooooh, a year or so? Maybe? I'd like to say less but in all honestly might have more. Anyway, of me getting my jollies by humping stuff. Mostly my bed and pillow, but it wasn't an exclusive relationship. At the time I thought I was being rather stealthy, but in retrospect I cringe at it. My bed was hardly silent and the walls weren't that thick. Plus of course once jollies were had, there was nowhere for said jollies to go other than my pants. Which then went into the laundry basket. That was then put into the washing machine. By my mum.

Oddly she's never mentioned it. What a fun conversation that would be for all concerned. So, remember when you went round humping everything and anything like a randy nympho chimp and spunking straight into your pants? Ah yes, good times. Remember washing those crusty abominations?

Unfortunately it's all true, but I can't help but feel this tale would have been better related by SpankyHanky. Entertaining lies are much better than shameful truth. Particularly if it's my shame.
( kappynitty doubled your entendre on, Fri 16 Jul 2010, 16:14, 2 replies)

No.
Shameful truths are what QOTW is all about. 'Entertaining' lies are desperate cries for attention from the terminally insecure and sexually confused.
( .Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Fri 16 Jul 2010, 19:55, closed)

Good on your mum
She knew you did it, probably heard you at it but as long as all she had to do was deal with some crusty pants then why make a fuss about a normal part of growing up even if techniques do vary.

It has reminded me of staying with some friends a while ago where I went from being nearly 40 to about 12 in one sentence. I am sans female company at the moment. I had said something about the reason I get up early when I say with them was "Because there's nothing to stay in bed for. "It's not like I can have a wank."
The reply from my mate was

"As long as you're quiet and don't make a mess."
(jvz, Fri 16 Jul 2010, 21:13, closed)