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My wife rang me in the middle of morning surgery. Usually that means that something terrible has happened but it turned out she'd rung the wrong number by mistake.

(, Wed 6 Dec 2017, 10:50, archived)
she meant to ring her fancy-man

(, Wed 6 Dec 2017, 10:51, archived)
I hope she still started with "hey sexy"
before realising she'd called you instead of the gardener
(, Wed 6 Dec 2017, 10:52, archived)
I told you floor it to Oz
set up as a GP in Perth and watch the money roll in
(, Wed 6 Dec 2017, 10:53, archived)
I like that you call it Surgery,
In spite of the fact you're just a jumped up referral service for proper doctors.
(, Wed 6 Dec 2017, 10:58, archived)
Everyone turning up at A&E for any and all minor illness
has worked out really well so far!
(, Wed 6 Dec 2017, 11:13, archived)
I do sometimes cut people.
I'm assuming that MPs are allowed to call what they do surgeries because it involves a lot of bumhole fingering.
(, Wed 6 Dec 2017, 11:19, archived)
also kill yourself

(, Wed 6 Dec 2017, 11:30, archived)