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It's a morning full of mysteries today.
I got to the office to find the door locked but the alarm deactivated and the lights and the heating on. No other signs of life. I've only just noticed a mini-Post-It on my desk from my boss, saying "Back by 11 at the latest".

Second mystery of the morning, and one that's making me question modern medicine: I've gone to bed for four of five nights in a row, slept in two-hour intervals at the most and woken up feeling like death. Last night, I decided to sod it and made a considerable dent in a bottle of vodka. Slept like a baby, woke up feeling almost entirely cured. Riddle me that, science.
(, Wed 14 Feb 2018, 8:15, archived)
Smirnoff placebo flavour

(, Wed 14 Feb 2018, 8:19, archived)
Is that the healing power of alternative rock?

(, Wed 14 Feb 2018, 8:23, archived)
I can't stand that little belgian tranny dwarf
but he got me laid at university, so I ought to be grateful
(, Wed 14 Feb 2018, 8:25, archived)
my mate Richard made him cry at a party

(, Wed 14 Feb 2018, 8:46, archived)
went in dry?

(, Wed 14 Feb 2018, 8:47, archived)

(, Wed 14 Feb 2018, 8:52, archived)
why would you bully someone at a party?
seems a bit uncalled for
(, Wed 14 Feb 2018, 9:15, archived)
why would you pass up the opportunity to bully him?

(, Wed 14 Feb 2018, 9:22, archived)
seems like a great way to ruin a party

(, Wed 14 Feb 2018, 10:37, archived)
It's OK m8.
You can tell us it was you. It was a long time ago now.
(, Wed 14 Feb 2018, 9:20, archived)
nah it was Richard Fearless from Death in Vegas

(, Wed 14 Feb 2018, 10:00, archived)
Dunno who that is soz.

(, Wed 14 Feb 2018, 10:10, archived)
Only one I liked
(, Wed 14 Feb 2018, 10:13, archived)
I've never been much of a fan tbh
My old DJ partner played bass for them for 10 years, good bunch of lads and *massive* caners
(, Wed 14 Feb 2018, 10:33, archived)
I think it's more for Iggy than them

(, Wed 14 Feb 2018, 10:39, archived)
He's fucking amazing, a proper one off

(, Wed 14 Feb 2018, 10:44, archived)
richard queerness, more like

(, Wed 14 Feb 2018, 10:15, archived)

bo nta
(, Wed 14 Feb 2018, 10:04, archived)
you don't question the power of vodka
it's like gummi bear juice
(, Wed 14 Feb 2018, 8:20, archived)
Magic and mystery are part of their histgoddamnit that's in my head now.

(, Wed 14 Feb 2018, 8:22, archived)