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morning

(, Mon 5 Mar 2018, 6:04, archived)
Candlllllleeeeeeessssssss party time

(, Mon 5 Mar 2018, 7:29, archived)
it'll be your turn in a week

(, Mon 5 Mar 2018, 7:33, archived)
Morning.
I've got a job interview, this afternoon.
(, Mon 5 Mar 2018, 7:39, archived)
internal, or are you moving out of the NHS?

(, Mon 5 Mar 2018, 7:45, archived)
Different bit of the NHS.
Been looking externally, but not found anything that suits.
(, Mon 5 Mar 2018, 8:56, archived)
maybe you should be a tailor
oh hahaha
(, Mon 5 Mar 2018, 10:11, archived)
I see what you did there!

(, Mon 5 Mar 2018, 10:21, archived)
They're pretty brutal, I hope you know the list of 30 years worth of Golden Demon winners off by heart

(, Mon 5 Mar 2018, 7:51, archived)
Wife's cousin was involved in setting up Games Workshop.
Was "let go" a while back, and now he hates them.
(, Mon 5 Mar 2018, 9:00, archived)
but where do you see yourself in five years time?

(, Mon 5 Mar 2018, 7:55, archived)
Tip: "nuts deep in your wife" is an instant fail

(, Mon 5 Mar 2018, 8:01, archived)
For this job I did say "I don't make concrete plans as I like to adapt to a changing environment
but failing that, fucking your cum guzzling whore wife."
(, Mon 5 Mar 2018, 8:04, archived)
Candles m8

(, Mon 5 Mar 2018, 7:41, archived)
how was your birthday d00d?

(, Mon 5 Mar 2018, 7:45, archived)
Yeah, pretty good cheers
Got my telly, so all is well.
(, Mon 5 Mar 2018, 8:45, archived)
is it many, many inches?

(, Mon 5 Mar 2018, 8:46, archived)
oh, it's several inches, don't you worry about that
In fact, it's a little bigger than I was expecting.
(, Mon 5 Mar 2018, 8:51, archived)
you get used to it, after a while

(, Mon 5 Mar 2018, 8:57, archived)
Yeah
I asked the kids how long they think it'll be until I say "I wish I'd got the bigger one"
(, Mon 5 Mar 2018, 9:00, archived)
disgusting

(, Mon 5 Mar 2018, 9:11, archived)
When I left the UK in 2004 I had a 28" which felt big
Then I bought a 50" two years back and it looked monstrous. Now I understand it's actually on the small side for most people.
(, Mon 5 Mar 2018, 9:12, archived)
People just seem to get the biggest they can,
regardless of living room size.
(, Mon 5 Mar 2018, 9:32, archived)
how gauche

(, Mon 5 Mar 2018, 9:59, archived)
It really is.
Being a hopeless nerd, I read up on optimum TV size, based on distance from furniture to screen, and I should have bought a slightly larger one.
(, Mon 5 Mar 2018, 10:03, archived)
move the sofa forward a bit

(, Mon 5 Mar 2018, 10:08, archived)
No need, I'm long sighted.

(, Mon 5 Mar 2018, 10:15, archived)
Well would you just look at that

(, Mon 5 Mar 2018, 7:41, archived)
finally too old for [board paedo account name]

(, Mon 5 Mar 2018, 7:45, archived)
Grrr, you'll be a woman soon

(, Mon 5 Mar 2018, 7:46, archived)
yeah

(, Mon 5 Mar 2018, 7:49, archived)
once more, with feeling

(, Mon 5 Mar 2018, 7:54, archived)
megryan.jpg

(, Mon 5 Mar 2018, 8:02, archived)
billy crystal is looking terrifying these days

(, Mon 5 Mar 2018, 8:19, archived)
he is the only shit thing about Spinal Tap

(, Mon 5 Mar 2018, 9:06, archived)
Did I tell you that I saw Tap at Wembley Arena a few years back?
Their "One Night Only - World Tour"

They were spectacular. Supported by The Folksmen.
(, Mon 5 Mar 2018, 9:11, archived)
I thought about going to that, but decided the spend was too high for a comedy show
Wish I'd gone now, ah well
(, Mon 5 Mar 2018, 9:15, archived)
We all know how much you love musical comedy, too.

(, Mon 5 Mar 2018, 9:33, archived)
It can be good but almost never is
I really enjoyed the first series of Flight of the Conchords, that cracked me up
(, Mon 5 Mar 2018, 10:00, archived)
they're playing in pompey this week but i couldn't get tickets :(
david o'doherty supporting too.
(, Mon 5 Mar 2018, 10:13, archived)
I thought about going, but isn't it about 70 quid or summat?

(, Mon 5 Mar 2018, 10:27, archived)
kinell

(, Mon 5 Mar 2018, 10:33, archived)
In Portsmouth
So it's not exactly the O fucken 2
(, Mon 5 Mar 2018, 10:42, archived)
Guildhall?

(, Mon 5 Mar 2018, 10:43, archived)
Correct

(, Mon 5 Mar 2018, 10:50, archived)
A quick search has found that it's £62.60 to sit in the Circle

(, Mon 5 Mar 2018, 10:52, archived)
+h

lol
(, Mon 5 Mar 2018, 11:02, archived)
lol

(, Mon 5 Mar 2018, 11:02, archived)
!

(, Mon 5 Mar 2018, 11:27, archived)
yeah
sold out almost instantly too
(, Mon 5 Mar 2018, 11:20, archived)
what's his role in Tap?
I could google this but that kills the convo
(, Mon 5 Mar 2018, 9:13, archived)
mime waiter

(, Mon 5 Mar 2018, 9:24, archived)
Shut Up and Eat

(, Mon 5 Mar 2018, 9:28, archived)
Hullo

(, Mon 5 Mar 2018, 7:53, archived)
how do

(, Mon 5 Mar 2018, 7:55, archived)
Morning

(, Mon 5 Mar 2018, 8:22, archived)
and what a morning it is!

(, Mon 5 Mar 2018, 8:24, archived)
that looks like fun
alt: grrrmorning
altē: have a nice candles-day
(, Mon 5 Mar 2018, 8:24, archived)
I'm sure it'll really piss people off by the end of the day
especially on mobile
(, Mon 5 Mar 2018, 8:27, archived)
happy St Piran's Day to all our tin-mining /talkers

(, Mon 5 Mar 2018, 8:52, archived)
have we got any welshies left here?

(, Mon 5 Mar 2018, 8:57, archived)
dunno you all look the same to me

(, Mon 5 Mar 2018, 8:59, archived)
those weirdos still want independence

(, Mon 5 Mar 2018, 9:01, archived)
Welxit.

(, Mon 5 Mar 2018, 9:04, archived)
errr

(, Mon 5 Mar 2018, 9:08, archived)
I read the reference to the Welsh, in the above reply.
I'm not looking up whose saint Piran is.
(, Mon 5 Mar 2018, 9:35, archived)
prolly not going to get that job now with that lack of attention

(, Mon 5 Mar 2018, 9:40, archived)
What job?

(, Mon 5 Mar 2018, 9:46, archived)
blow lol

(, Mon 5 Mar 2018, 10:43, archived)
Haha, like the sex act!

(, Mon 5 Mar 2018, 10:48, archived)
Yes, I do rather!!!!!!

(, Mon 5 Mar 2018, 10:52, archived)
well you are quite good at it!!!!!!!!!!!!

(, Mon 5 Mar 2018, 11:40, archived)
haha, you'd know!!!

(, Mon 5 Mar 2018, 11:56, archived)
I don't blame them
their local corner shop only sells The Sun and The Guardian
(, Mon 5 Mar 2018, 9:14, archived)
even devolved regions hold too much centralised power
it's time to return to an open field system and allow each individual to be fully independent
(, Mon 5 Mar 2018, 9:17, archived)
they should grant Cornwall independence then bomb it and take it back

(, Mon 5 Mar 2018, 9:19, archived)
happy st piranhas day!

(, Mon 5 Mar 2018, 10:15, archived)
Bon matin mon ami!
Ca va?
(, Mon 5 Mar 2018, 9:02, archived)
ca va bien merci
Que vas-tu faire aujourd'hui?

lol hui
(, Mon 5 Mar 2018, 9:12, archived)

haha, I get this because in many languages hui is something like cock. Bulgarian for example, and Polish, obvsly
(, Mon 5 Mar 2018, 9:40, archived)
Cangles
what a special day!
(, Mon 5 Mar 2018, 9:06, archived)
13 years of perfectly penned online misery

(, Mon 5 Mar 2018, 9:13, archived)
with some time off for flounces

(, Mon 5 Mar 2018, 9:18, archived)
I ain't never flounced in my live "meight"

(, Mon 5 Mar 2018, 9:20, archived)

giphy.com/gifs/bbuk-game-of-thrones-celebrity-l1J3viBK9SYAqbOa4/fullscreen
(, Mon 5 Mar 2018, 9:29, archived)

media1.tenor.com/images/408ce6d687a86456186aebc30f6a5486/tenor.gif?itemid=9438567
(, Mon 5 Mar 2018, 9:33, archived)

media0.giphy.com/media/hv3Kj5tvW3oKk/giphy.gif
(, Mon 5 Mar 2018, 9:36, archived)

i.imgur.com/g9H4QPg.gif
(, Mon 5 Mar 2018, 9:41, archived)
loving all these tbh

(, Mon 5 Mar 2018, 9:48, archived)
I wouldn't stand for that if I were you...

(, Mon 5 Mar 2018, 10:10, archived)
it's amusing cos most of the people in these images actually have beards
so the whole "growing a beard" joke falls completely flat.
(, Mon 5 Mar 2018, 10:14, archived)
what joke is that then?

(, Mon 5 Mar 2018, 10:22, archived)
Yeah I'm interested to know what the fuck he's on about too

(, Mon 5 Mar 2018, 10:29, archived)
Me three

(, Mon 5 Mar 2018, 10:33, archived)
what a fucking idiot, eh lads

(, Mon 5 Mar 2018, 11:22, archived)
too right!

(, Mon 5 Mar 2018, 11:55, archived)

(ノಠ益ಠ)ノ彡┻━┻
(, Mon 5 Mar 2018, 9:49, archived)
alright candles morning yeah

(, Mon 5 Mar 2018, 9:39, archived)
good innit

(, Mon 5 Mar 2018, 9:55, archived)
I'm starting to think I might be too old for the internet
imgur.com/gallery/WRjEjq4
(, Mon 5 Mar 2018, 9:51, archived)
imgur is full of whingy teens making "wish I could kill myself" jokes

(, Mon 5 Mar 2018, 9:55, archived)
Oh.

(, Mon 5 Mar 2018, 9:58, archived)
yeah

(, Mon 5 Mar 2018, 10:26, archived)
yeah!

(, Mon 5 Mar 2018, 10:39, archived)
Isn't that baby eating sand, or something?

(, Mon 5 Mar 2018, 10:01, archived)
what, quicksand you mean?

(, Mon 5 Mar 2018, 11:39, archived)
lol internetz
78.media.tumblr.com/20b5be2ed99f843255ac55ef89121632/tumblr_p532vzCzwR1qz6f9yo2_1280.jpg
(, Mon 5 Mar 2018, 10:37, archived)
SATIRE

(, Mon 5 Mar 2018, 10:41, archived)
alright, well done on 13 years of being a nob
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(, Mon 5 Mar 2018, 9:54, archived)
it's nobs all the way down

(, Mon 5 Mar 2018, 9:56, archived)
Morning.
I've got my yearly review.
(, Mon 5 Mar 2018, 10:06, archived)
good luck m8
I've got a new boss poking his nose into the team I created, so I dunno if I'm going to be given more powers or have all the credit stolen.
(, Mon 5 Mar 2018, 10:08, archived)
my wife's bonus/payrise is announced on Weds
It's either going to be a fantastic day - or the start of a heavy legal process. She found out a few months ago that one of her juniors was on a higher basic than hers - in this current media climate of 'gender pay gap' hoo-hah she could do very nicely.
(, Mon 5 Mar 2018, 10:32, archived)
she should take them to the cleaners asap

(, Mon 5 Mar 2018, 10:39, archived)
she's going to kick the fuck off if they don't dig deep

(, Mon 5 Mar 2018, 10:45, archived)
that's usually good cause for them to find a reason to "downsize her role" a few months later though

(, Mon 5 Mar 2018, 11:01, archived)
she's bored as shit there anyway
She begged them to make her redundant a couple of years ago but they said she was too 'valuable' to them.
(, Mon 5 Mar 2018, 11:15, archived)
Whoops!
That should be an open and shut case (in her favour).
(, Mon 5 Mar 2018, 10:48, archived)
Yup, and timing-wise it's perfect
Amusingly, every morning she takes part in a meeting part of which is to assess the good (or otherwise) press coverage the bank is getting: she knows perfectly well how desperate they are to avoid negative PR
(, Mon 5 Mar 2018, 10:51, archived)
Hope she increases your allowance.

(, Mon 5 Mar 2018, 11:03, archived)
She says if the bonus is more than 30k then I can replace all my vinyl storage boxes which will cost a couple of G's

(, Mon 5 Mar 2018, 11:13, archived)
'if the bonus is more than 30k'

*weeps*
(, Mon 5 Mar 2018, 12:07, archived)
after a chat, it seems I could have had this new boss' job if I'd known it was up for grabs
but he basically said "crack on, you're doing fine".
(, Mon 5 Mar 2018, 10:54, archived)
not so bad then I spose

(, Mon 5 Mar 2018, 11:01, archived)
I already got the pay rise so I'm not going to kick up a fuss

(, Mon 5 Mar 2018, 11:02, archived)
Happy candles Grrrrry

(, Mon 5 Mar 2018, 10:42, archived)
cheers mVIIIt

(, Mon 5 Mar 2018, 10:52, archived)