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Hullo bumstain's
How's it gannin like
(, Thu 30 Oct 2025, 11:07, Reply)
Turns out my heart and blood pressure are fine
It's a modern-day miracle
(, Thu 30 Oct 2025, 11:09, Reply)
I was surprised because normally when I have my pressure checked it's always high. Turns out over 24hrs it's fine

(, Thu 30 Oct 2025, 11:29, Reply)
Same here
I couldn't find the place and was nearly late so was stressed out before the initial reading. 24hr test was fine
(, Thu 30 Oct 2025, 11:34, Reply)
No matter how many times I read about it I'll never understand blood pressure, or how vinyl works. Magnets both I assume

(, Thu 30 Oct 2025, 12:31, Reply)
Shitty ones.
Well done McQ. This is how the NHS should work. Just go away and it'll sort itself out.
(, Thu 30 Oct 2025, 14:16, Reply)
This is why I leave difficult / complicated tasks in my inbox for as long as possible. If you leave them for long enough then the patient invariably dies and they are not longer your problem

(, Thu 30 Oct 2025, 19:20, Reply)
Defo magnets

(, Thu 30 Oct 2025, 15:00, Reply)
Whilst that is not how blood pressure works I do think I have just come up with a cure for erectile dysfunction.
I'd start by implanting opposite permanent magnets in the helmit and cervix, revising these to be electromagnets should uncoupling prove too difficult
(, Thu 30 Oct 2025, 20:03, Reply)
But then how do the fucken magnets work?

(, Thu 30 Oct 2025, 22:01, Reply)
Would have thought blood pressure would be pretty easy for a plumber to understand.
Basically you want to keep your blood pressure below 140 systolic over 90 diastolic which is like the green bit on the boiler pressure gauge. If your blood pressure goes too much higher than that for too long then it's like when the excess water pressure causes water to be released from the pressure release valve and you see water trickling through the tundish, only instead of the pressure release valve it's your cerebral arteries rupturing and instead of water trickling through the tundish it's a massive haemorrhagic stroke
(, Thu 30 Oct 2025, 19:05, Reply)
140 systolic over 90 diastolic, just like in plumbing

(, Thu 30 Oct 2025, 20:20, Reply)
I'm having a massive haemorrhagic stroke as I type this

(, Thu 30 Oct 2025, 21:19, Reply)
Yes that's just you getting all flustered because you fancy the nurse.

(, Thu 30 Oct 2025, 18:56, Reply)
Your heart is fine? So you've undergone a full ECG, 24 hour tape, angiogram / CT angiogram / myocardial perfusion scan / echocardiogram / cardiac MRI?
Or someone who doesn't really care has just said 'yeah your pulse doesn't seem to be doing anything too weird so I'm sure you're fine'?
(, Thu 30 Oct 2025, 18:54, Reply)
ECG and 24hr BP monitor
Also mammogram, strippergram and Supergran
(, Thu 30 Oct 2025, 21:22, Reply)
sitting in the doctor's waiting room
so you know, been better
(, Thu 30 Oct 2025, 11:18, Reply)
Otis Reddzzzzzzzz

(, Thu 30 Oct 2025, 11:35, Reply)
hope the doctor gets better after seeing you

(, Thu 30 Oct 2025, 18:33, Reply)
You should have plenty of time to reflect on how much taxpayers money you're wasting when you would have got a far better answer from chatgpt

(, Thu 30 Oct 2025, 19:21, Reply)
milana vayntrub y/n/o

(, Thu 30 Oct 2025, 11:21, Reply)
dunno

(, Thu 30 Oct 2025, 11:37, Reply)
Not a type of cooked meat then ?

(, Thu 30 Oct 2025, 12:58, Reply)
Can't be

(, Thu 30 Oct 2025, 14:46, Reply)
yes/no/obligate carnivore

(, Thu 30 Oct 2025, 12:33, Reply)
Yeti/Nine-headed Bird/Owlman

(, Thu 30 Oct 2025, 13:50, Reply)
Photographic evidence suggests she got fitted out with some plastic tits at some point. Can you ask her why?

(, Thu 30 Oct 2025, 14:00, Reply)
Not even with yours.

(, Thu 30 Oct 2025, 14:13, Reply)
I would suggest yes m8, it's not like you can do any better.

(, Thu 30 Oct 2025, 19:31, Reply)
The Dead Prince of Bel Air

(, Thu 30 Oct 2025, 12:10, Reply)
I love Lucy's braaains

(, Thu 30 Oct 2025, 13:13, Reply)
Mad About Eulogy

(, Thu 30 Oct 2025, 13:59, Reply)
Everyone Degloves Raymond

(, Thu 30 Oct 2025, 14:04, Reply)
Flayaway

(, Thu 30 Oct 2025, 14:40, Reply)
Deglovi High

(, Thu 30 Oct 2025, 14:55, Reply)
Won't Smith

(, Thu 30 Oct 2025, 14:46, Reply)
This would be the perfect opportunity to post your stupid will smith smith bollocks

(, Thu 30 Oct 2025, 19:50, Reply)
I feel the moment has passed.

(, Fri 31 Oct 2025, 22:08, Reply)
My new green card arrived yesterday, thank fuck.
I've had a little slip of paper stating that I'm legal and awaiting a new card, it looked like it was hurriedly photocopied by a child, it didn't even convince me.
(, Thu 30 Oct 2025, 12:12, Reply)
Tell that to ICE, brah

(, Thu 30 Oct 2025, 12:17, Reply)
Green card?
Sounds awfully woke, you want a nice Republican red card.
(, Thu 30 Oct 2025, 12:25, Reply)
Congratulations on having to pay taxes to the USA wherever you live for ever

(, Thu 30 Oct 2025, 18:47, Reply)
I don't think that's going to be an issue, I don't reckon I'll live forever

(, Thu 30 Oct 2025, 20:34, Reply)
AND DON'T FORGET THE JOKER

(, Thu 30 Oct 2025, 21:25, Reply)
Alright

(, Thu 30 Oct 2025, 12:27, Reply)
alright

(, Thu 30 Oct 2025, 12:36, Reply)
Yo

(, Thu 30 Oct 2025, 14:47, Reply)
^ two alrights short of a Mcconaughey

(, Thu 30 Oct 2025, 19:42, Reply)
It’s going well, thank you for asking.
I have a posh wedding to go to this weekend - there’s a fancy pre-party tomorrow and then the actual ceremony on Saturday and partying afterwards. I expect to have the hangover from hell on Sunday.
(, Thu 30 Oct 2025, 13:30, Reply)
Sounds exhausting
Have f u n
(, Thu 30 Oct 2025, 15:01, Reply)
Thanks, I’ll t r y

(, Thu 30 Oct 2025, 15:56, Reply)
g r e a t

(, Thu 30 Oct 2025, 17:30, Reply)
That certainly sounds like a wedding

(, Thu 30 Oct 2025, 19:33, Reply)
I couldn't find a pumpkin
Everywhere is sold out
(, Thu 30 Oct 2025, 14:45, Reply)
The small boat migrants have bought them all

(, Thu 30 Oct 2025, 15:02, Reply)
If they're small, how can they carry all the pumpkins?

(, Thu 30 Oct 2025, 15:24, Reply)
Teamwork

(, Thu 30 Oct 2025, 15:47, Reply)
They could grip them by the husk

(, Thu 30 Oct 2025, 15:54, Reply)
It's not the best time to be buying a pumpkin to be honest, demand is always high in late October due to Halloween.
Maybe try again in a couple of weeks?
(, Thu 30 Oct 2025, 19:39, Reply)
There's a direct correlation between the decline in society and lack of Justin Lee Collins based programmes
think about it
(, Thu 30 Oct 2025, 16:08, Reply)
Because of other commitments the first album (titled Another Side) was never released and subsequently the deal was called off.
Collins stated in an interview with Reveal magazine (2012) that he would like to resume his efforts to release music in the future.
(, Thu 30 Oct 2025, 16:35, Reply)
Oh shit

(, Thu 30 Oct 2025, 16:41, Reply)
I've been saying this for a LONG time bro

(, Thu 30 Oct 2025, 17:31, Reply)
There are no rap tracks in the Billboard Hot 100's top 40 for the first time since 1990.
The planet is healing.
(, Thu 30 Oct 2025, 18:03, Reply)
Finally getting rid of that ghastly black people's music, then.
#MAGA #Trump28
(, Thu 30 Oct 2025, 18:38, Reply)
Bit racist to assume that all rappers are black.
Brb wants to know your location.
(, Thu 30 Oct 2025, 19:28, Reply)
We should keep him occupied to prevent him from destroying us all, gotcha

(, Thu 30 Oct 2025, 18:41, Reply)
END TOIMES

(, Thu 30 Oct 2025, 18:41, Reply)
Fucks sake, you made me lost the JLC game

(, Thu 30 Oct 2025, 19:40, Reply)
Still in Cyprus. Weather is great, shame about the company

(, Thu 30 Oct 2025, 19:57, Reply)