Well.
To the tune of Bob Dylan's 'Jokerman':
"Pokémon dance to the nightingale tune
Birds fly high by the light of the moon
Woooah
Wooooaah ooah oaah oh
Pokémon."
( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Fri 12 May 2017, 10:51, archived)

this post combines three things I really fucking hate:
Bob Dylan, Pokemon, and Windy Pig
( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Fri 12 May 2017, 10:51, archived)

:(

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Fri 12 May 2017, 10:54, archived)

I don't really hate Pokemon
I just missed out on the chance to 'get' it.
( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Fri 12 May 2017, 11:14, archived)

I like Bob Dylan and Windy Pig, but don't really know anything about pokeymon
so I don't know what to make of this thread
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 12 May 2017, 11:19, archived)

It's the best thread today by far

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Fri 12 May 2017, 11:22, archived)

oh come on now, really

( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Fri 12 May 2017, 11:36, archived)

Only three seems a bit lame when there are so many to choose from

( 2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Fri 12 May 2017, 11:39, archived)

I hate this
but, by god, I respect it
( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Fri 12 May 2017, 10:53, archived)

I hate it. But I'm not in hate with it.

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Fri 12 May 2017, 10:54, archived)

same

( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Fri 12 May 2017, 10:55, archived)

well shit on my cock

( $$ ✅, Fri 12 May 2017, 11:00, archived)

Ok

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Fri 12 May 2017, 11:00, archived)

haha

( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Fri 12 May 2017, 11:00, archived)

I don't think well would do a thing like that, you dirty grass

( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Fri 12 May 2017, 11:03, archived)

ok hun

( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Fri 12 May 2017, 11:07, archived)

You know those big Spanish hams, yeah?
I reckon you could club someone to death with one of those and then just eat the evidence.
( .Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Fri 12 May 2017, 11:09, archived)

Alright 'serial mom'.

( Slippery Mick ‏, Fri 12 May 2017, 11:12, archived)

Haven't seen that one.

( .Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Fri 12 May 2017, 11:15, archived)

It's good.
It shit me up as a kid as I believed the bit at the beginning that said it was based on a true story
( Slippery Mick ‏, Fri 12 May 2017, 11:20, archived)

Very loosely.

( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Fri 12 May 2017, 11:21, archived)

I didn't think it was based on anything.

( Slippery Mick ‏, Fri 12 May 2017, 11:23, archived)

It's a homage to true crime stories.
Some of the events were elaborated on. Not based on one overall person, I think.
( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Fri 12 May 2017, 11:29, archived)

The body itself will have ham residue on it.
I bet they will be able to trace it back to the store.
( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Fri 12 May 2017, 11:21, archived)

^Sherlock Homo

( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Fri 12 May 2017, 11:22, archived)

^ Serial Mong

( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Fri 12 May 2017, 11:35, archived)

^ Ham-toucher

( .Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Fri 12 May 2017, 11:25, archived)

murder weapon of choice over here are icicles

( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Fri 12 May 2017, 11:29, archived)

Yipee-ki-yay, Mr Falcon.

( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Fri 12 May 2017, 11:59, archived)

I'm Sam Faiers AMA!

( $$ ✅, Fri 12 May 2017, 11:18, archived)

LA baby?

( mongychops, Fri 12 May 2017, 11:18, archived)

yeh baby!

( $$ ✅, Fri 12 May 2017, 11:18, archived)

how much does your dad have to pay itvbe and the daily mail to keep you relevant?

( mongychops, Fri 12 May 2017, 11:19, archived)

£10,000 per article

( $$ ✅, Fri 12 May 2017, 11:22, archived)

would you like people to stop trolling you?

( mongychops, Fri 12 May 2017, 11:29, archived)

no, I thrive on it

( $$ ✅, Fri 12 May 2017, 11:30, archived)

then i will continue, because one by one you reality slags are making your profiles privates

( mongychops, Fri 12 May 2017, 11:31, archived)

you're a modern day hero

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 12 May 2017, 11:42, archived)

i'm just trying to protect the kids

( mongychops, Fri 12 May 2017, 11:47, archived)

better than making their privates prolific, like Jordan did

( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Fri 12 May 2017, 11:55, archived)

I bet it's like opening the window and fucking the night.

( Slippery Mick ‏, Fri 12 May 2017, 12:02, archived)

do you shit in a carrier bag like gonz?

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 12 May 2017, 11:22, archived)

yeah
if I'm driving along the highways of LA, I might sometimes pull over and shit in a grocery bag or brown paper bag.
( $$ ✅, Fri 12 May 2017, 11:23, archived)

have you ever shit on someone's cock?

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 12 May 2017, 11:41, archived)

twice

( $$ ✅, Fri 12 May 2017, 11:56, archived)

some of you don't understand how hard it is to be a mum
A 1yr old baby doesn’t need designer shoes do they not have #Clarks in Essex 🙈#mummydiaries.

that's the abuse I get every day
( $$ ✅, Fri 12 May 2017, 11:28, archived)

you are a failed page 3 girl and thick as pig shit

( mongychops, Fri 12 May 2017, 11:30, archived)

it's not the mums earning the money to buy those shoes, is it

( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Fri 12 May 2017, 11:36, archived)

in this case yes

( mongychops, Fri 12 May 2017, 11:41, archived)

well that's me told

( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Fri 12 May 2017, 11:42, archived)

i doubt you are up to date with towie

( mongychops, Fri 12 May 2017, 11:44, archived)

yer I have no clue what this subthread's about, but I wanted to join in anyway

( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Fri 12 May 2017, 11:48, archived)

reality tv nobodies who think they are stars, even tho they have no talent at all

( mongychops, Fri 12 May 2017, 11:49, archived)

Who are you? And what do you do?

( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Fri 12 May 2017, 11:32, archived)

I appear on TV
and do stuff
( $$ ✅, Fri 12 May 2017, 11:37, archived)

you went out with joey essex too

( mongychops, Fri 12 May 2017, 11:38, archived)

peng

( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Fri 12 May 2017, 11:51, archived)

ffs will someone in this subthread take their food out of the microwave

( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Fri 12 May 2017, 11:54, archived)

oh, well that sounds alright

( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Fri 12 May 2017, 11:43, archived)

Alright, "Weird" Al Yankovic

( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Fri 12 May 2017, 12:04, archived)

morning

( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Fri 12 May 2017, 7:00, archived)

Morning

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Fri 12 May 2017, 7:06, archived)

this weekend can't come soon enough

( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Fri 12 May 2017, 7:23, archived)

Off down to Kent, tonight,
to look after the old man for the weekend. I'm sure I'll be fully refreshed, come Monday.
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Fri 12 May 2017, 7:29, archived)

Alright greenmachine
How's it hanging? Slightly bruised and a little to the left?
( spanishfly is so fucking sexy people impersonate him, Fri 12 May 2017, 7:29, archived)

the status of my penis is not a fit morning topic

( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Fri 12 May 2017, 7:42, archived)

Strikey g. a, morning topic
( spanishfly is so fucking sexy people impersonate him, Fri 12 May 2017, 7:47, archived)

youtu.be/TtJw_CLQCUw
( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Fri 12 May 2017, 8:13, archived)

Morgs bruv

( H.B.Mupps, Fri 12 May 2017, 7:38, archived)

Hello new person
While swearing is permitted on the boards, we prefer more creative forms of profanity:

Portmanteau: twat + cunt = twunt. Can you think of your own?

Animal combos: cock-badger and kitten-flaps have been found to be most effective.

Reversal: by reversing "fuck" and "cock" you can substantially improve your swearing. EG: "Cock off you cocking fucksucker."
Stand out from the crowd and find your own swearing style. Maybe yours will catch on.
( spanishfly is so fucking sexy people impersonate him, Fri 12 May 2017, 7:41, archived)

guten to you too
not berg, obviously, he's a twat
( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Fri 12 May 2017, 7:43, archived)

Safe fam

( H.B.Mupps, Fri 12 May 2017, 8:59, archived)

I might make a Spanishfly thread with an interesting question
At guarantee it though
( spanishfly is so fucking sexy people impersonate him, Fri 12 May 2017, 7:50, archived)

do some research
look at pub quiz websites for inspiraiton
( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Fri 12 May 2017, 8:13, archived)

BRING BACK OCCASIONAL DINGBAT WEDNESDAY

( H.B.Mupps, Fri 12 May 2017, 9:00, archived)

that died with manolith's sunny disposition
it was replaced with occasional Simpsons gifpost
( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Fri 12 May 2017, 9:46, archived)

happy International Nurses Day, Chronic Fatigue Syndrome Day, World Migratory Bird Day and happy National Nutty Fudge Day
Es ist Freitag!
( Woodkovsky ☹️➝🚻➝🚽➝😣➝💩➝🧻➝😁, Fri 12 May 2017, 7:50, archived)

I hate that day.
The only day worse is St Patrick's day. When all the cunts come out
( spanishfly is so fucking sexy people impersonate him, Fri 12 May 2017, 7:52, archived)

just say "fuck me, I'm Irish" to everyone. that should help.
alternatively, "fuck you, you're Irish." is a good ice breaker.
( Woodkovsky ☹️➝🚻➝🚽➝😣➝💩➝🧻➝😁, Fri 12 May 2017, 7:54, archived)

Or just don't go out.
Fucking morons that come out.
( spanishfly is so fucking sexy people impersonate him, Fri 12 May 2017, 7:55, archived)

it seems, you have never found a four-leafed clover

( Woodkovsky ☹️➝🚻➝🚽➝😣➝💩➝🧻➝😁, Fri 12 May 2017, 7:59, archived)

They don't exist

( spanishfly is so fucking sexy people impersonate him, Fri 12 May 2017, 8:05, archived)

all of those things should be outlawed

( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Fri 12 May 2017, 8:14, archived)

Chronic Fatigue Syndrome?
Surely we should be shaming lazy cunts, not enabling them?
( H.B.Mupps, Fri 12 May 2017, 9:03, archived)

I thought that was when you'd blazed too much and couldn't be arsed to get off the couch.

( .Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Fri 12 May 2017, 9:39, archived)

check it

( $$ ✅, Fri 12 May 2017, 8:10, archived)

69 dude!!
lol, like Keanu says!
( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Fri 12 May 2017, 8:14, archived)

Hail fellow, well top get.

( .Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Fri 12 May 2017, 8:14, archived)

someone needs to do a combo-breaker morning thread

( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Fri 12 May 2017, 8:22, archived)

I can threadstomp you and delolt ten minutes later if you like.

( .Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Fri 12 May 2017, 8:26, archived)

thank you for being a friend. travel down the road and back again. your heart is true, you're a pal and a confidant

( mongychops, Fri 12 May 2017, 8:19, archived)

get bent, I'm not lending you any money

( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Fri 12 May 2017, 8:22, archived)

and if you threw a party, and invited everyone you knew, you would see the biggest gift would be from me and the card attached would say fuck ya , ya cunt

( mongychops, Fri 12 May 2017, 8:24, archived)

still waiting on my 2013 christmas present

( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Fri 12 May 2017, 8:36, archived)

oh God it's going to be one of those days, I can tell

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 12 May 2017, 8:51, archived)

a FRI day!

( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Fri 12 May 2017, 9:14, archived)

some cunt below me hasn't bothered showing up, leaving me to pick up some menial tasks
and some cunt above me wants all manner of shit doing, when I should be taking it easy on account of it being Friday
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 12 May 2017, 9:19, archived)

Another few grains just fell into the bottom bulb

( drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Fri 12 May 2017, 9:07, archived)

^ 17th century musketeer

( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Fri 12 May 2017, 9:15, archived)

musket qu
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 12 May 2017, 9:23, archived)

Two Hats' bent forum has revealed that dozer has been lurking all this time and is desperate to come back
I hope manolith maintains his ban on sight policy
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 12 May 2017, 9:21, archived)

I've already lost my login details for that forum
so it can burn in hell for all I care
( $$ ✅, Fri 12 May 2017, 9:26, archived)

lol I read that as bum!

( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Fri 12 May 2017, 9:27, archived)

didn't actually lol

( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Fri 12 May 2017, 9:28, archived)

I did, but I'll pretend I didn't to fit in

( H.B.Mupps, Fri 12 May 2017, 9:29, archived)

fit in his bum! lol

( drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Fri 12 May 2017, 9:34, archived)

morning

( spanishfly is so fucking sexy people impersonate him, Fri 12 May 2017, 2:06, archived)

No m8

( spanishfly is so fucking sexy people impersonate him, Fri 12 May 2017, 3:42, archived)

Evening heaumeau'x.

( Mr. Tea dole-nonce-amuser extraordinaire, Thu 11 May 2017, 22:51, archived)

Alright

( spanishfly is so fucking sexy people impersonate him, Thu 11 May 2017, 22:58, archived)

HAW HEE HAW HEE HAW

( drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Thu 11 May 2017, 22:59, archived)

TINGA TINGA TINGA

( spanishfly is so fucking sexy people impersonate him, Thu 11 May 2017, 23:12, archived)

Waltz in. Start a thread. Fuck off.
You are just the WORST!
( spanishfly is so fucking sexy people impersonate him, Fri 12 May 2017, 0:35, archived)

Comedy TV thread.
What's worth watching?

Been watching It's Always Sunny in Philidelphia but losing interest. I would still bang sweet Dee. (Apologies all you lady boarders)

Answers on a postcard.
( spanishfly is so fucking sexy people impersonate him, Thu 11 May 2017, 19:19, archived)

Miranda

( 2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Thu 11 May 2017, 19:25, archived)

Nice one

( spanishfly is so fucking sexy people impersonate him, Thu 11 May 2017, 19:26, archived)

Germany's no. 1 comedy:
Scheiße auf meiner Brust Mutter
( $$ ✅, Thu 11 May 2017, 19:57, archived)

The Pedophile next door
Series 1
( spanishfly is so fucking sexy people impersonate him, Thu 11 May 2017, 20:13, archived)

Mirror fences are the new black

( drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Thu 11 May 2017, 20:44, archived)

Alright dribble

( spanishfly is so fucking sexy people impersonate him, Thu 11 May 2017, 21:26, archived)

Birds of a Feather
Nothing To Declare
Surgical Spirit
Ever Decreasing Circles
The Sweet Release of Death
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Thu 11 May 2017, 20:23, archived)

The last one reminds me of b3ta

( spanishfly is so fucking sexy people impersonate him, Thu 11 May 2017, 20:27, archived)

Uh, somebody's obviously never heard of a little show called "Duty Free"

( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Thu 11 May 2017, 20:59, archived)

haha oh,
anyone remember "Full House"?
( Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Thu 11 May 2017, 21:29, archived)

My daughter binge watched umpteen series of that on Netflix.
No worse than any other American sitcom, I guess.
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Thu 11 May 2017, 22:28, archived)

That might well have been what I was thinking of when I put "Nothing to Declare".
Keith Barron?
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Thu 11 May 2017, 22:29, archived)

no idea,
but speaking of nostalgic biscuits, i got a packet of Trios a couple of months ago
( Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Thu 11 May 2017, 20:28, archived)

Gold bars motherfucker!

( spanishfly is so fucking sexy people impersonate him, Thu 11 May 2017, 20:59, archived)

so what,
i can get them down my local co-op, i wasn't aware they'd ever stopped being a thing
( Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Thu 11 May 2017, 21:02, archived)

It's just lies lies lies with you isn't it!

( spanishfly is so fucking sexy people impersonate him, Thu 11 May 2017, 21:21, archived)

well you can't open doors

( Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Thu 11 May 2017, 21:27, archived)

Not 1, not 2, but 3 things in it!

( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Thu 11 May 2017, 21:00, archived)

Silicon Valley is great

( Cheers Cheers, Thu 11 May 2017, 20:43, archived)

Cheers

( spanishfly is so fucking sexy people impersonate him, Thu 11 May 2017, 21:26, archived)

watching, and the brittas empire obviously

( vladimir, Thu 11 May 2017, 21:11, archived)

Brittas was classic

( spanishfly is so fucking sexy people impersonate him, Thu 11 May 2017, 21:26, archived)

^ marvelous

( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Thu 11 May 2017, 22:32, archived)

Land of Hope and Gloria
Conjugal Rights
May to December
Waiting For God
First of the Summer Wine
Oh Doctor Beeching
( brb homonecrobatrachophile, Fri 12 May 2017, 1:12, archived)

Evening prick thread.
What you doing? What you eating?
( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Thu 11 May 2017, 17:41, archived)

Nothing yet
Gonna make a Caribbean curry when I get in, just dropped £300 on a GPU, fun tiems
( H.B.Mupps, Thu 11 May 2017, 17:42, archived)

Wow do tell me more about this cuury

( mongychops, Thu 11 May 2017, 17:44, archived)

Na its a bit gay

( H.B.Mupps, Thu 11 May 2017, 17:45, archived)

Be sure to remind me that you cooked it in a few days, I'd hate to forget

( mongychops, Thu 11 May 2017, 17:50, archived)

Oh dear did the fan shred it then lolololololol

( 2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Thu 11 May 2017, 17:51, archived)

Lol

( H.B.Mupps, Thu 11 May 2017, 21:57, archived)

What did you go for?
And recommend any games? Been having a dabble with counter strike
( spanishfly is so fucking sexy people impersonate him, Thu 11 May 2017, 17:54, archived)

I stopped playing after 1.6
#cs4life
( Woodkovsky ☹️➝🚻➝🚽➝😣➝💩➝🧻➝😁, Thu 11 May 2017, 18:25, archived)

I genuinely haven't played a computer game really since
Unreal Tournament and Quake 3 arena etc.

Oh and Red Faction and Max Payne. They genuinely were he last ones I sat and played. Never owned a console.
( spanishfly is so fucking sexy people impersonate him, Thu 11 May 2017, 18:27, archived)

I fancy a curry tonight... Mind I also had one last night.
My stomach is nails.

No Marc Almond puns please.
( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Thu 11 May 2017, 18:14, archived)

I'm ill Jay.
So I'm going to have a quick pint to be sociable, then I'm going home to bed
( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Thu 11 May 2017, 17:45, archived)

What's wrong Windy Pug?

( spanishfly is so fucking sexy people impersonate him, Thu 11 May 2017, 17:54, archived)

Must have caught your AIDS

( 2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Thu 11 May 2017, 18:06, archived)

I go back to work on Monday 2Can 9 weeks off work all in all I think.

( spanishfly is so fucking sexy people impersonate him, Thu 11 May 2017, 18:06, archived)

I just feel rotten.
Had a nasty cough all week as well. Bit of sleep will sort me out I'm sure.
( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Thu 11 May 2017, 18:10, archived)

I had a "nasty cough" and was fobbed off repeatedly by shit arse GPs
Had to take myself to the walk in centre...good job I did, as I was in triage I collapsed and had a seizure.
( spanishfly is so fucking sexy people impersonate him, Thu 11 May 2017, 18:15, archived)

If I feel like this still tomorrow, I think a doctor's visit is on the cards

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Thu 11 May 2017, 18:51, archived)

Just bypass and straight to walk in

( spanishfly is so fucking sexy people impersonate him, Thu 11 May 2017, 18:57, archived)

Yeah, that's probably a good shout.

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Thu 11 May 2017, 19:00, archived)

That's what I did.
And if it's a work day you go it will be quiet and you will get seen quickly.
( spanishfly is so fucking sexy people impersonate him, Thu 11 May 2017, 19:17, archived)

Sweat the bitch out.
Plenty water.
Don't piss the bed.
( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Thu 11 May 2017, 18:15, archived)

Ok

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Thu 11 May 2017, 19:00, archived)

I am going to have some tramadol
And then I dunno
( spanishfly is so fucking sexy people impersonate him, Thu 11 May 2017, 17:48, archived)

Pizza.
Minding the kids. Arranging my trip home for the weekend. Walking the dogs.

It's all go, down at chez munch.
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Thu 11 May 2017, 18:08, archived)

listening to awesome tunes. nothing.
my day went well.
( Woodkovsky ☹️➝🚻➝🚽➝😣➝💩➝🧻➝😁, Thu 11 May 2017, 18:21, archived)

75g custard creams and 35cl coffee

( drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Thu 11 May 2017, 18:45, archived)

Just accidentally lenged up one of my tinnies cutting the wrapping off it. It went all over everywhere.
Indonesian Chicken and prawn rice stir fry.
( Slippery Mick ‏, Thu 11 May 2017, 18:49, archived)

Lint and/or leem

( drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Thu 11 May 2017, 19:17, archived)

Nvm gone the pub
Might just eat all this Bombay mix, the raisins are putting me off though.
( Slippery Mick ‏, Thu 11 May 2017, 19:35, archived)

first

( $$ ✅, Thu 11 May 2017, 16:04, archived)

Top

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Thu 11 May 2017, 16:04, archived)

IBYA

( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Thu 11 May 2017, 16:05, archived)

nice

( $$ ✅, Thu 11 May 2017, 16:06, archived)

This place is well bent, m8
Is there another forum that's a LOT less bent?
( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Thu 11 May 2017, 16:04, archived)

don't really go to other forums
wanna start one with me?
( $$ ✅, Thu 11 May 2017, 16:06, archived)

defo
Frank used to have one, but he built a feature into it where people are randomly banned for no reason. Either that, or he just banned me and lied about it because...well...y'know.
( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Thu 11 May 2017, 16:07, archived)

things got sexual
I understand
( $$ ✅, Thu 11 May 2017, 16:09, archived)

bentfree.freeforums.net/
( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Thu 11 May 2017, 16:13, archived)

nice

( $$ ✅, Thu 11 May 2017, 16:18, archived)

i bet some fucking prick decides to tell us what they are cooking for their dinner as if it is of any interest to anybody else

( mongychops, Thu 11 May 2017, 16:20, archived)

And does that have a Gay Page?

( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Thu 11 May 2017, 16:56, archived)

This is the point m8
It's all gay page!
( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Thu 11 May 2017, 16:57, archived)

Outstanding.

( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Thu 11 May 2017, 16:59, archived)

How do I report somebody

( mongychops, Thu 11 May 2017, 17:02, archived)

message me directly

( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Thu 11 May 2017, 17:07, archived)

I've already lost my password

( $$ ✅, Thu 11 May 2017, 17:03, archived)

preferably with a 'gay' page

( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Thu 11 May 2017, 16:06, archived)

www.gaychat.com
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 11 May 2017, 16:12, archived)

might be a bit macho for you though

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 11 May 2017, 16:13, archived)

reserved

( fuscous, Thu 11 May 2017, 16:05, archived)

preserved more like!

( $$ ✅, Thu 11 May 2017, 16:07, archived)

WHERE IS OUR GAY PAGE.

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Thu 11 May 2017, 16:12, archived)

I think cr3 might be in denial

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 11 May 2017, 16:14, archived)

there you go
www.b3ta.com/windypig
( mongychops, Thu 11 May 2017, 16:14, archived)

bit gay

( $$ ✅, Thu 11 May 2017, 16:17, archived)

For you gay wedding?

( 2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Thu 11 May 2017, 17:11, archived)

among equals?

( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Thu 11 May 2017, 16:26, archived)

lol, "a mong"

( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Thu 11 May 2017, 16:26, archived)

This forum is now closed.
( $$ ✅, Thu 11 May 2017, 16:38, archived)

rip catweasle

( mongychops, Thu 11 May 2017, 16:40, archived)

good innings

( $$ ✅, Thu 11 May 2017, 16:51, archived)

No missus driving him mad

( mongychops, Thu 11 May 2017, 16:53, archived)

TINGA TINGA TINGAAAAAA

( spanishfly is so fucking sexy people impersonate him, Thu 11 May 2017, 17:38, archived)

RIP Mac'n'Cheese chat.

( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Thu 11 May 2017, 14:09, archived)

Now I think of it I once had a burger with a 'thing' of breaded and deep fried mac and cheese in it.
I'm not sure it was very good.
( Slippery Mick ‏, Thu 11 May 2017, 14:11, archived)

good

( $$ ✅, Thu 11 May 2017, 14:13, archived)

Food chat
I'll be eating in England by the end of the month. I haven't even had a Nando's cos they popped up since I emigrated, and I don't know what reggae reggae sauce is. What other culinary delights have I missed out on?
( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Thu 11 May 2017, 14:13, archived)

veganism is pretty big here now

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 11 May 2017, 14:15, archived)

and gluten-free
you should definitely try that, it looks pretty joyless
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 11 May 2017, 14:15, archived)

My mates missus has that, can't even have chips fried in the same oil as battered stuff. Chippies are out basically.

( Slippery Mick ‏, Thu 11 May 2017, 14:22, archived)

You've just reminded me I haven't had a chippy tea in ages
Must remember to get one in when I go back to see the family
( H.B.Mupps, Thu 11 May 2017, 14:25, archived)

do you mean she suffers from coeliac disease, or do you mean she is a prick?

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 11 May 2017, 14:25, archived)

Coeliac.
Seems a bit of a pain in the arse really. Although I worked with someone who had it and her diet seemed to be exclusively boiled ham and chips.
( Slippery Mick ‏, Thu 11 May 2017, 14:29, archived)

it can't be big if it's suffering severe malnutition

( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Thu 11 May 2017, 14:16, archived)

Gastropubs abandoning the concept of the plate, I expect.

( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Thu 11 May 2017, 14:16, archived)

I don't understand why they're persisting with it given everyone seems to agree it's shit.
I thought pricks in marketing valued this sort of feedback, but they've seemed to have ignored it completely.
( Slippery Mick ‏, Thu 11 May 2017, 14:30, archived)

Gourmet burgers.
Which seems to have devolved in to everyone putting avocado in lamb burgers and thinking they're brilliant.
( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Thu 11 May 2017, 14:16, archived)

chips in little buckets

( $$ ✅, Thu 11 May 2017, 14:17, archived)

Onion rings on a mug tree

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Thu 11 May 2017, 14:18, archived)

I had onion rings served on a letter spike, a while back.

( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Thu 11 May 2017, 14:20, archived)

Did they taste alright?

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Thu 11 May 2017, 14:21, archived)

Yeah.
Small serving, though - there was plenty more room on the spike.
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Thu 11 May 2017, 14:23, archived)

Shame.

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Thu 11 May 2017, 14:30, archived)

I imagine they'd be a bit sharp

( H.B.Mupps, Thu 11 May 2017, 14:29, archived)

I had a steak served on a piece of wood
I asked for a new one, and for it to be served on a plate. They probably jsut put the old one on a plate, but still.
( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Thu 11 May 2017, 14:24, archived)

I bet you've stuck your old one on some new plates in your time

( $$ ✅, Thu 11 May 2017, 14:25, archived)

You know it, Dollars

( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Thu 11 May 2017, 14:25, archived)

wewantplates.com

( .Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Thu 11 May 2017, 14:28, archived)

Vegan fried chicken and breast milk ice cream.

( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Thu 11 May 2017, 14:17, archived)

You haven't lived until you've had your vegan chicken medium rare

( H.B.Mupps, Thu 11 May 2017, 14:28, archived)

I've also not been to a nando's.
Largely because 'some chicken and hot sauce' is a goto lazy meal I cook at home.
( Slippery Mick ‏, Thu 11 May 2017, 14:24, archived)

Yeah I've been to a Nando's once and it was pretty mediocre really
I'd sooner go to a good curry house if I'm eating out. Nando's is Brewer's Fayre tier food.
( H.B.Mupps, Thu 11 May 2017, 14:27, archived)

Exactly. Curry is better, roughly the same price and more effort to make at home rather than seasoning some thighs and putting them in the oven.

( Slippery Mick ‏, Thu 11 May 2017, 14:29, archived)

the Nazis seasoned your nan's thighs before putting her in an oven

( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Thu 11 May 2017, 14:39, archived)

As fast food goes, Nandos is infinitely preferable to a KFC.
Nothing to get excited about, but at least is edible.
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Thu 11 May 2017, 14:32, archived)

Is it really fast food? You can't get a bag of it and eat it in your car can you?
I'd say it's more like those filling station/frankie & bennies/chiquito "restaurants" you get in identikit retail parks up and down the country.
( Slippery Mick ‏, Thu 11 May 2017, 14:34, archived)

You have to walk up to the counter to order it,
but it's not a pub, so I'd class it alongside the likes of McDonalds and KFC.

My kids think Chiquito is the bees' knees, I just find it to be an overpriced reminder of why I stopped eating there.
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Thu 11 May 2017, 14:41, archived)

I'd have to disagree
I don't do fast food that often but I'd plump for a zinger tower burger over a cheeky cunt nandos
( H.B.Mupps, Thu 11 May 2017, 14:37, archived)

KFC is utterly fucking rank, their marketing campaigns actively offend me, and they contribute massively to the volume of litter in the streets.
Anyone referring to a Nandos meal as "cheeky" deserves stabbing, however.
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Thu 11 May 2017, 14:44, archived)

^ upset

( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Thu 11 May 2017, 14:46, archived)

Yeah but if I'm having my one a year fast foods I'll go all in for the most rank thing I can find
Its effective at putting me off for another year anyway
( H.B.Mupps, Thu 11 May 2017, 14:50, archived)

My eldest was very worried that I'd tell him off after he was taken to KFC on a friend's birthday day out.
He'd interpreted "I won't buy you that" as "you're not allowed that" which, of course, made it the forbidden fruit, and he came back raving about how delicious it was.
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Thu 11 May 2017, 14:56, archived)

he saw the company's logo
and realised it was ok to have a moustache without being a creepy bent.
( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Thu 11 May 2017, 15:00, archived)

k, reporting this to social services.

( Slippery Mick ‏, Thu 11 May 2017, 15:00, archived)

puddi puddi puddi puddi puddi puddi puddi puddi puddi puddi puddi puddi puddi puddi puddi puddi puddi puddi puddi puddi puddi puddi

( mongychops, Thu 11 May 2017, 15:05, archived)

I hear you're getting Tim Hortons over there
You are in for a right treat!
(Boiled_Tater is not the messiah, Thu 11 May 2017, 18:01, archived)

Oh. Good

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Thu 11 May 2017, 14:15, archived)

Whats all this about then?
My new e cig burns my throat to buggery
( spanishfly is so fucking sexy people impersonate him, Thu 11 May 2017, 14:18, archived)

That could be caused by a few things
The coil, the nicotine content / quality of the juice, the power of your ecig...

What are you using and when did you last replace the coil?
( H.B.Mupps, Thu 11 May 2017, 14:19, archived)

It's a brand new
https://www.ukecigstore.com/smok-brit-one-mega-kit.html
( spanishfly is so fucking sexy people impersonate him, Thu 11 May 2017, 14:30, archived)

Have you opened the airflow on it?
The coils for that are 0.3 ohm, so straight away you're sub-ohm vaping which produces a lot more vapour and also gives you a lung hit instead of the more cigarette like method used with weaker ecigs. If you have the airflows open that cools the vapour and also helps with a smoother draw and more satisfying smoke.
( H.B.Mupps, Thu 11 May 2017, 15:02, archived)

Thanks for the advice. Initially it was like taking a lung full of smoke from a bonfire
But it seems to be getting a little easier to use now.
( spanishfly is so fucking sexy people impersonate him, Thu 11 May 2017, 15:06, archived)

S'areet, mines similar if the airflow isnt open its impossible to get a good drag
If it tastes like burnt give it a minute, it normally means you've vapourised all the juice on the cotton and it needs to re wick. Like anything its a case of persevering and getting used to the one you have
( H.B.Mupps, Thu 11 May 2017, 15:16, archived)

Vapenation

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Thu 11 May 2017, 14:20, archived)

Vape memes
#vapenation
( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Thu 11 May 2017, 14:21, archived)

#\//\
( H.B.Mupps, Thu 11 May 2017, 14:22, archived)

Beetle eggs, hatching in your trachea.

( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Thu 11 May 2017, 14:21, archived)

Actually disregard my comment
It's totally this
( H.B.Mupps, Thu 11 May 2017, 14:28, archived)

Spreading all the light all a-round

( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Thu 11 May 2017, 14:29, archived)

Alright, Rolf.
Up for parole soon, eh?
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Thu 11 May 2017, 14:34, archived)

Bonza

( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Thu 11 May 2017, 14:37, archived)

those are regular B&H that you bought from a yorkshireman, you spaz

( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Thu 11 May 2017, 14:28, archived)

TINGA TINGA TINGA!

( spanishfly is so fucking sexy people impersonate him, Thu 11 May 2017, 14:31, archived)

https://images-na.ssl-images-amazon.com/images/I/91iPVFVXoXL._SL1500_.jpg
( fuscous, Thu 11 May 2017, 14:41, archived)

Nice link

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Thu 11 May 2017, 14:42, archived)

no way those chipboard shelves could support that sort of load if those tubs were full
That's really bad apocalyptical planning Ethel, you useless old biddy.
( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Thu 11 May 2017, 14:43, archived)

I think it's all dehydrated
Still, at £176 a tub, Ethel isn't messing about

https://www.amazon.co.uk/Legacy-Premium-Food-Storage-Emergency/dp/B00AXKWQ2W/
( fuscous, Thu 11 May 2017, 14:45, archived)

I dread to think how awful a reconstituted baked potato would be.
I'd rather take my chances with the nuclear fallout.
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Thu 11 May 2017, 14:49, archived)

This bloke on imgur reviews military ration packs:
imgur.com/gallery/Z16Ib
( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Thu 11 May 2017, 14:49, archived)

I liked "For lunch, I chose the pork neck with vegetables"
I imagine a mother was behind that Polish MRE.
( fuscous, Thu 11 May 2017, 14:59, archived)

what's the vegetarian option?

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 11 May 2017, 15:01, archived)

http://supremepetfoods.com/products/science-selective-rabbit/

( .Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Thu 11 May 2017, 15:19, archived)

I had a dream about this moment...
When I was making love... to my wife Donna. On top a her; powerful thrusts, filling the sultry night air.
Heavy breath. My son Gabriel walked in, little boy. My wife sprung out of bed and said "No, Gabriel! Leave!"
And I said "No, honey, shut your mouth, let him watch." Let him watch what is being consecrated here.
And I want the people to watch what is going to be consecrated here. And I will bring my son down here, and he will watch.
( $$ ✅, Thu 11 May 2017, 14:50, archived)

that's the most beautiful thing I've read in the whole of today

( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Thu 11 May 2017, 14:57, archived)

I am Gabriel AMA

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 11 May 2017, 14:59, archived)

what did you think when you walked in?

( $$ ✅, Thu 11 May 2017, 15:00, archived)

my mind was telling me no but my body was telling me yes

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 11 May 2017, 15:23, archived)

The outtakes of that are brilliant.
www.youtube.com/watch?v=_hPp4dgmrc8
( Slippery Mick ‏, Thu 11 May 2017, 15:02, archived)

Let's talk about foood baby, let's talk about what's for tea, let's talk all the nyomy nyomies that maybe , let's talk about foood, let's talk about food

( mongychops, Thu 11 May 2017, 15:12, archived)

It was the most I was ever sick and it changed my life completely.

( Slippery Mick ‏, Thu 11 May 2017, 15:17, archived)

close but no frosted pink donut
24 years
( manolith hooray for me, Thu 11 May 2017, 15:41, archived)

ANGRY FANNY
i44.photobucket.com/albums/f18/clunked/fan1.jpg

I didn't intend to create a new thread for this but seeing as the old one was running out of steam I might as well not delete it.
( Slippery Mick ‏, Thu 11 May 2017, 12:22, archived)

I wonder what current first names will become euphemisms for genitalia in the future
"This guy was running in loose shorts and his logan flopped out!"
( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Thu 11 May 2017, 12:27, archived)

haha.
I like to think that given the current trend of the middle-classes trying to out-victorian each other with their kids names, in about 20 years or so we'll see a load of Barry's, Alan's and Fred's resurface.
( Slippery Mick ‏, Thu 11 May 2017, 12:29, archived)

Why have you named your willy that?

( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Thu 11 May 2017, 12:30, archived)

I just looked at this list and chose the first one that made me think "penis"
www.babycenter.com/top-baby-names-2017.htm
( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Thu 11 May 2017, 12:32, archived)

"Mason"?
Surely that's only acceptable if you're in a film and being portrayed by Steven Seagal?

Confirmed: www.imdb.com/character/ch0021229/
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Thu 11 May 2017, 12:37, archived)

Would you mind not disrespecting my son, Casey Ryback, plskthx.

( Slippery Mick ‏, Thu 11 May 2017, 12:38, archived)

He'
Not up to his usual standards: www.imdb.com/character/ch0407003/
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Thu 11 May 2017, 12:42, archived)

"She was so drunk by the end of the party that she forgot she'd gone commando. Everyone could see her kardashian!"

( .Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Thu 11 May 2017, 12:31, archived)

Eww.

( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Thu 11 May 2017, 12:35, archived)

When asked about wearing a thong
pbs.twimg.com/media/C_ZDHnSXgAAtfJw.jpg:large
( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Thu 11 May 2017, 12:37, archived)

Like cheese-wire through blancmange.

( Slippery Mick ‏, Thu 11 May 2017, 12:39, archived)

Nowt but class there.

( .Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Thu 11 May 2017, 12:44, archived)

seems legit

( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Thu 11 May 2017, 12:37, archived)

that name's been synonymous with 'cunt' for a long time

( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Thu 11 May 2017, 12:37, archived)

An Oscar Pistorius
will undoubtedly become a euphemism for getting fucked in the bathroom
(Boiled_Tater is not the messiah, Thu 11 May 2017, 18:04, archived)

She has a stupid name.

( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Thu 11 May 2017, 12:29, archived)

is that your account because that dinner in there is fucking rank looking

( mongychops, Thu 11 May 2017, 12:41, archived)

No it isn't, and yes it is.
It looks like they got a panicked foreigner to recreate a british meal entirely from memory.
( Slippery Mick ‏, Thu 11 May 2017, 12:52, archived)

Viz or Daily Star?

( $$ ✅, Thu 11 May 2017, 12:51, archived)

Probably the Sport.

( Slippery Mick ‏, Thu 11 May 2017, 12:55, archived)

oh yeah
that's the fucker
( $$ ✅, Thu 11 May 2017, 12:55, archived)

morning

( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Thu 11 May 2017, 7:03, archived)

The past is steeped in shame, but tomorrow's fair game, for a life that's fit for living, good morning beater

( drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Thu 11 May 2017, 7:10, archived)

it's too early for this shit

( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Thu 11 May 2017, 7:47, archived)

alright Danny Glover

( Woodkovsky ☹️➝🚻➝🚽➝😣➝💩➝🧻➝😁, Thu 11 May 2017, 8:41, archived)

Morning
Roll on the weekend
( H.B.Mupps, Thu 11 May 2017, 7:42, archived)

it's days like this where I wish I lived in an 80s cop movie
where I start work with a massive doughnut and a pot of black cawfee and an ogle of a secretary in a pencil skirt.
( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Thu 11 May 2017, 7:48, archived)

^ too old for this shit.

( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Thu 11 May 2017, 8:00, archived)

that sums up a large portion of my life

( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Thu 11 May 2017, 8:09, archived)

"Sir, the ball pit is only for children to use."

( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Thu 11 May 2017, 9:05, archived)

OGRE, MORE LIKE

( Woodkovsky ☹️➝🚻➝🚽➝😣➝💩➝🧻➝😁, Thu 11 May 2017, 9:15, archived)

this, like every other post you type,
makes no sense
( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Thu 11 May 2017, 9:19, archived)

"[...] an ogle of a secretary in a pencil skirt."
your words, not mine
( Woodkovsky ☹️➝🚻➝🚽➝😣➝💩➝🧻➝😁, Thu 11 May 2017, 9:28, archived)

I'd laugh my bollocks off when you get shot a day before retirement.
Two Hats could be our very own Sipowicz.
( Slippery Mick ‏, Thu 11 May 2017, 9:53, archived)

Oh God, not another one.

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Thu 11 May 2017, 8:01, archived)

as manolith pointed out, there's a crushing inevitability to it
I think he finds it all a bit overwhelming
( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Thu 11 May 2017, 8:09, archived)

I'm exhausted.
I slept well, and seem to have shaken the nasty cough I caught from tangles, but I don't feel like I've slept.
( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Thu 11 May 2017, 8:16, archived)

I've felt like this all week
maybe we're all experiencing a 'fight club' type situation. I'm always noticing cuts and bruises that I can't explain. And most of them are on me.
( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Thu 11 May 2017, 9:08, archived)

The first rule of Hat Club...

( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Thu 11 May 2017, 9:09, archived)

^all-singing, all-dancing crap of the world

( manolith hooray for me, Thu 11 May 2017, 9:13, archived)

Too much blade study

( H.B.Mupps, Thu 11 May 2017, 9:42, archived)

Between Spanishfly constantly calling him miserable, and Strongp pointing out his (frankly) terrible MSPaint skills
I think he's finding it all a bit much. He needs a lot of love and support right now.
( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Thu 11 May 2017, 8:54, archived)

sending thoughts and prayers his way
xxx
( $$ ✅, Thu 11 May 2017, 8:55, archived)

thx hun <3

( manolith hooray for me, Thu 11 May 2017, 9:08, archived)

I noticed that he's a lot more snappy and aggressive since he changed his job
especially towards me, dunno why, I've done nothing to him, but if that's what gets him through the day I suppose I'll just have to accept that that's who he is now.
( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Thu 11 May 2017, 8:56, archived)

the extra money and more interesting work is really taking its toll on me

( manolith hooray for me, Thu 11 May 2017, 9:08, archived)

my condolences

( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Thu 11 May 2017, 9:08, archived)

i'm just glad for concerned forum citizens like grrrmachine

( manolith hooray for me, Thu 11 May 2017, 9:09, archived)

oh, must be something else that's turned you into such a prick then

( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Thu 11 May 2017, 9:09, archived)

cool

( manolith hooray for me, Thu 11 May 2017, 9:13, archived)

I wonder what it is
I'm going to try to figure it out
( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Thu 11 May 2017, 9:16, archived)

get your deerstalker on

( manolith hooray for me, Thu 11 May 2017, 9:23, archived)

pervert

( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Thu 11 May 2017, 9:26, archived)

Morning, official morning thread dude and everyone else.
That thought of starting the day with a vat of coffee, a doughnut and a secretary is a good one. Starting the day with green tea, no doughnut and no secretary is...not the same.
( .Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Thu 11 May 2017, 8:02, archived)

dunno about official, no-one's authorized me
I'm just up earlier than everyone else
( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Thu 11 May 2017, 8:10, archived)

I think you're up at just the right time.
I was up at 03:45 this morning but didn't bother starting a morning thread because there would have been no-one else around.
( .Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Thu 11 May 2017, 8:12, archived)

morning grrr
some wanker czech truck driver hit my car on the M1, probably a write off tbh, I've only had the bugger a few months
( Major Turd for tonight only, Thu 11 May 2017, 8:05, archived)

aw, that's a proper cunt. Sideswiped you or rear ended?
and was this the Mini replacement?
( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Thu 11 May 2017, 8:11, archived)

Oh no, Kroney had the Mini
what's your jalopy?
( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Thu 11 May 2017, 8:12, archived)

he turned into my lane and hit the side, made a right mess
and it's a Honda Accord, I imagine arranging insurance in a different country is going to be a nightmare.
( Major Turd for tonight only, Thu 11 May 2017, 8:47, archived)

I think Brits are going to learn a smattering of all Eastern european languages over the next few years
as they learn to ask for "dokumenty" and "idetifikacja" following crashes with forriners. Did you get all the driver's details?
( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Thu 11 May 2017, 8:51, archived)

Like Mr. Prawo Jazdy?
( .Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Thu 11 May 2017, 8:57, archived)

that story was mega lolz over here

( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Thu 11 May 2017, 9:14, archived)

Yeah, highways agency made sure I had everything I needed, would have been a bit stuck without them
never mind, I'm going to go shopping for a 5 series
( Major Turd for tonight only, Thu 11 May 2017, 10:00, archived)

noice
just avoid the diesels
( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Thu 11 May 2017, 10:03, archived)

( $$ ✅, Thu 11 May 2017, 8:13, archived)

taking this as a wistful gaze at your crush that you're too shy to approach

( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Thu 11 May 2017, 8:17, archived)

ah, great thursday!

( Woodkovsky ☹️➝🚻➝🚽➝😣➝💩➝🧻➝😁, Thu 11 May 2017, 8:41, archived)

morning, I'm off, brb l8r

( Woodkovsky ☹️➝🚻➝🚽➝😣➝💩➝🧻➝😁, Thu 11 May 2017, 8:42, archived)

fuck you woodo, fuck you

( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Thu 11 May 2017, 8:44, archived)

no worries, grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr
I have to be somewhere in 3 1/2 hours, not in half an hour. waking up prematurely is gay, hahaha. Thursday!
( Woodkovsky ☹️➝🚻➝🚽➝😣➝💩➝🧻➝😁, Thu 11 May 2017, 9:12, archived)

tea first, I think

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 11 May 2017, 8:59, archived)

herbal?

( $$ ✅, Thu 11 May 2017, 9:00, archived)

fruit of course!

( $$ ✅, Thu 11 May 2017, 9:00, archived)

Haha, "proper tea is theft"!

( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Thu 11 May 2017, 9:08, archived)

how dare you!

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 11 May 2017, 9:09, archived)

'erbal, mon

( manolith hooray for me, Thu 11 May 2017, 9:06, archived)

k, reporting this for racism

( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Thu 11 May 2017, 9:09, archived)

I think *someone* has forgotten that there is a difference between poor taste and being hateful

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 11 May 2017, 9:12, archived)

+ & i

( manolith hooray for me, Thu 11 May 2017, 9:20, archived)

^ Whitney Houston

( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Thu 11 May 2017, 9:29, archived)

how very British of you

( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Thu 11 May 2017, 9:05, archived)

this fread was ge''in' no-whereah

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 11 May 2017, 9:10, archived)

( manolith hooray for me, Thu 11 May 2017, 9:06, archived)

you can do it manolith, we're here for you

( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Thu 11 May 2017, 9:07, archived)

Good evening
Good evening
( spanishfly is so fucking sexy people impersonate him, Wed 10 May 2017, 20:42, archived)

Hi.
Whatever it is that's on Radio 4, right now, is making me really cross.
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Wed 10 May 2017, 20:54, archived)

The mistake you have made there is listening to radio 4. Are you my dad?
You want a bit of TLKSPRT on.

I will be watching "can't pay we will take it away" at 9 that makes me both angry and euphoric. I once had bailiffs turn up at my house about 10 minutes after the removals can left, I was moving out that day. I took great pleasure in inviting them in to carry out an "inventory" of a completely empty house. Very satisfying.
( spanishfly is so fucking sexy people impersonate him, Wed 10 May 2017, 20:58, archived)

I can't watch TV like that, it'll either make me cross, or chip away whatever remaining faith I have left in humanity.
Radio 4 is the best radio station, but they do let some right bellend take the airwaves, at times.
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Wed 10 May 2017, 21:02, archived)

I actually quite like radio 4.
I was just being a cunt.
( spanishfly is so fucking sexy people impersonate him, Wed 10 May 2017, 21:24, archived)

We're all cunts, here.

( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Wed 10 May 2017, 22:01, archived)

lol all your stuff fits in 440ml

( drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Wed 10 May 2017, 21:06, archived)

Might have been a can of monster energy drink.
Those things are massive.
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Wed 10 May 2017, 21:08, archived)

lol

( $$ ✅, Wed 10 May 2017, 21:20, archived)

LOLLL!!!! Alright dribble

( spanishfly is so fucking sexy people impersonate him, Wed 10 May 2017, 21:22, archived)

Yes.

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Wed 10 May 2017, 21:11, archived)

Sure

( $$ ✅, Wed 10 May 2017, 21:20, archived)

hello spanishfly
hello spanishfly
( Woodkovsky ☹️➝🚻➝🚽➝😣➝💩➝🧻➝😁, Wed 10 May 2017, 23:39, archived)

Hello woody
Hello woody
( spanishfly is so fucking sexy people impersonate him, Thu 11 May 2017, 0:12, archived)

this isn't claiming to be a good thread
it's just not a strongp thread
( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Wed 10 May 2017, 13:55, archived)

won't you tell me, where have all the good threads gone?

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 10 May 2017, 13:59, archived)

*plays albatross*

( Slippery Mick &#8207;, Wed 10 May 2017, 13:59, archived)

Where do you stick your fingers?

( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Wed 10 May 2017, 14:16, archived)

in your nan

( Slippery Mick &#8207;, Wed 10 May 2017, 14:21, archived)

American Gothic
Rather struck by how on the One Show interview Mr May resembled the man in American Gothic (at the RA right now if you want to see the original: https://www.royalacademy.org.uk/?gclid=CI3t5fqc5dMCFQO37QodYEMOsw)

Surely ripe pickings for b3tans everywhere (who have graphic skills)...
(strongp, Wed 10 May 2017, 12:34, archived)

cheers

( $$ ✅, Wed 10 May 2017, 12:36, archived)

you really learnt something from your last time here, then?

( manolith hooray for me, Wed 10 May 2017, 12:36, archived)

reach out to him, manolith
he needs you
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 10 May 2017, 12:37, archived)

Don't put yourself out manolith - this may need something more advanced than your MS Paint skills
(strongp, Wed 10 May 2017, 12:44, archived)

Haha, he's got you there, Manolith!

( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Wed 10 May 2017, 12:47, archived)

Zingaroonie!!

( drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Wed 10 May 2017, 12:49, archived)

I've been waiting for someone to knock manolith down a peg or two.
strong is clearly the man for the job! Mark my words, this time next week we'll have a new mod.
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Wed 10 May 2017, 12:52, archived)

i once drew a lizard drinking a pint, for mongy

( manolith hooray for me, Wed 10 May 2017, 13:02, archived)

This cunt knows nothing mano, open him up

( mongychops, Wed 10 May 2017, 13:12, archived)

I reckon mongy can drink his own pints.

( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Wed 10 May 2017, 13:21, archived)

hi strongp

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 10 May 2017, 12:37, archived)

don't give them validation
it's what they want
( $$ ✅, Wed 10 May 2017, 13:20, archived)

pool's closed
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( mongychops, Wed 10 May 2017, 12:38, archived)

Alright stongp
You remind me of Georgia O'Keeffe's Black Iris
(Roger McGough-Pipe, Wed 10 May 2017, 12:40, archived)

Lucas Buck was a good man.

( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Wed 10 May 2017, 12:41, archived)

Which one's this one then?

( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Wed 10 May 2017, 12:44, archived)

Whoever it is, it stomped prison bread chat so it can get fucked

( drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Wed 10 May 2017, 12:48, archived)

huzzah!

( .Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Wed 10 May 2017, 13:07, archived)

Strongp?
*checks profile* strongp
( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Wed 10 May 2017, 12:47, archived)

nice contents
:D
( $$ ✅, Wed 10 May 2017, 12:51, archived)

Thanks for this.

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Wed 10 May 2017, 12:55, archived)

I'm sorry strongp, but this isn't a very good contribution to the internet

( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Wed 10 May 2017, 13:00, archived)

Stong Pad?

( H.B.Mupps, Wed 10 May 2017, 13:21, archived)

Homestar Bunner.
Carzipan.
The Sheat.
Roach Zee.
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Wed 10 May 2017, 13:22, archived)

i love you two, right now

( manolith hooray for me, Wed 10 May 2017, 13:35, archived)

If you hate songp so much,
why don't you just kill him?
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Wed 10 May 2017, 13:43, archived)

mr may?
sounds like the 5th entry on a gay porn calendar
( sock more tea vicar?, Wed 10 May 2017, 13:23, archived)

you can delete this thread now
someone on /board has done it now
( $$ ✅, Wed 10 May 2017, 13:39, archived)

Hang on. Some board chump coming over here, lurking in our threads

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Wed 10 May 2017, 13:43, archived)

loads of wankers lurk on here

( $$ ✅, Wed 10 May 2017, 13:44, archived)

front page this now

( mongychops, Wed 10 May 2017, 13:44, archived)

err, so they get 3.75 million instead of 1.3m, but they are doing it to help out, fucking stinks
www.homeraffler.com
( mongychops, Wed 10 May 2017, 13:50, archived)

poor workmanship

( $$ ✅, Wed 10 May 2017, 13:56, archived)

Who's this jabroni?

( Slippery Mick &#8207;, Wed 10 May 2017, 13:55, archived)

MIDDAY!!!!
YESSSSSS!!!!

Tell me your food woes.
( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Wed 10 May 2017, 11:58, archived)

oops, you went off prematurely

( manolith hooray for me, Wed 10 May 2017, 11:58, archived)

That almost *never* happens

( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Wed 10 May 2017, 12:03, archived)

no

( $$ ✅, Wed 10 May 2017, 12:07, archived)

I'm going to have to add Skyr to the list of fermented milk products that I shouldn't eat.
Which is a pity, as it's lovely.
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Wed 10 May 2017, 12:07, archived)

Breadmaking gimboidery.
Last night I thought I'd fire up the bread machine and make some nice farmhouse bread for the week, so I loaded all the ingredients into it and let it rip. An hour and a half later I realised I'd forgotten to replace the mixing blade, so the flour was still sitting in an inert layer over the water and had been slightly baked into a sludge. I turned it off, emptied it all out, replaced the blade and launched the program again, and it did actually rise and bake into a bread-shape. With the internal consistency of compost.
( .Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Wed 10 May 2017, 12:07, archived)

Clearly you haven't been studying the various machine parts enough

( drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Wed 10 May 2017, 12:10, archived)

*digs out recipe for Mountain Dew bread and the bread machine's katana attachment*

( .Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Wed 10 May 2017, 12:12, archived)

Carbtastic

( drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Wed 10 May 2017, 12:13, archived)

I saw a .gif recipe yesterday of some shut-ins making Mountain Dew fried chicken,
breaded with Dorito crumbs.
( .Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Wed 10 May 2017, 12:13, archived)

Sharia Law can't come soon enough m8

( drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Wed 10 May 2017, 12:16, archived)

I tried the Irn Bru pulled pork.
It wasn't very nice.

Thankfully by ditching the liquid it was cooked in the pork was still edible.
( Slippery Mick &#8207;, Wed 10 May 2017, 12:17, archived)

*shudders*
I'm sure there's a recipe out there somewhere for Special Brew chicken.
( .Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Wed 10 May 2017, 12:24, archived)

Septics go mad about cooking a chicken with a beer can with a bit of beer in it rammed up its aris.

( Slippery Mick &#8207;, Wed 10 May 2017, 12:38, archived)

I read that as "Spastics".

( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Wed 10 May 2017, 12:44, archived)

My dad's occasional breadmaking trick was to forget to put the yeast in. Which usually resulted in a 3 centimetre housebrick in the bottom of the tin.

( Slippery Mick &#8207;, Wed 10 May 2017, 12:10, archived)

The yeast is by far the fussiest bit.
It won't rise if the water's the wrong temperature, and it won't rise unless there's enough of it, and it won't rise if your kitchen's too cold, and it won't rise if [insert as-yet-undetermined variable here].
( .Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Wed 10 May 2017, 12:13, archived)

Why don't you just fuck off you bread making middle class mess.

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Wed 10 May 2017, 12:15, archived)

^ actual lol

( .Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Wed 10 May 2017, 12:18, archived)

I'm thinking of making my own sourdough starter

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 10 May 2017, 12:18, archived)

The Prodigy's less successful etc. etc.

( .Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Wed 10 May 2017, 12:19, archived)

Oh yeah? Sun dried tomatos, bit of olive oil, hummus and you're away

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Wed 10 May 2017, 12:21, archived)

So celery eh, what's THAT all about? You couldn't make it up

( drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Wed 10 May 2017, 12:08, archived)

according to chelsea fans its for tickling bums

( mongychops, Wed 10 May 2017, 12:10, archived)

Leaf end first?

( drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Wed 10 May 2017, 12:12, archived)

dunno mate i'm a charlton fan

( mongychops, Wed 10 May 2017, 12:19, archived)

+es
( manolith hooray for me, Wed 10 May 2017, 12:35, archived)

I ate some food and it wasn't as good as other food I've eaten.

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Wed 10 May 2017, 12:16, archived)

apparently I should eat meat pies
but I don't really want to
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 10 May 2017, 12:16, archived)

I'll have them if you don't want them

( Slippery Mick &#8207;, Wed 10 May 2017, 12:18, archived)

Vegetarian football fans are the stuff of fiction

( drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Wed 10 May 2017, 12:18, archived)

Can of Mackesons, that's what you need.
Up your iron levels.
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Wed 10 May 2017, 12:30, archived)

Robert Miles RIP

( $$ ✅, Wed 10 May 2017, 12:18, archived)

threads about food

( mongychops, Wed 10 May 2017, 12:22, archived)

( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Wed 10 May 2017, 12:31, archived)

Morning.

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Wed 10 May 2017, 11:06, archived)

I'm torn.
on the one hand, the morning thread had gone stale, but on the other, this thread is fucking shit and you're an idiot cretin.
( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Wed 10 May 2017, 11:09, archived)

Woah, but personal

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Wed 10 May 2017, 11:30, archived)

soz, dunno what got into me

( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Wed 10 May 2017, 11:31, archived)

Good morning.

( $$ ✅, Wed 10 May 2017, 11:11, archived)

Double

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Wed 10 May 2017, 11:30, archived)

alright

( mongychops, Wed 10 May 2017, 11:13, archived)

Yer, you?

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Wed 10 May 2017, 11:30, archived)

Sweet as

( mongychops, Wed 10 May 2017, 11:32, archived)

hi

( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Wed 10 May 2017, 11:15, archived)

Yo

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Wed 10 May 2017, 11:30, archived)

hewwo

( Woodkovsky ☹️➝🚻➝🚽➝😣➝💩➝🧻➝😁, Wed 10 May 2017, 11:16, archived)

Herro

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Wed 10 May 2017, 11:31, archived)

Morning ÷ 2

( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Wed 10 May 2017, 11:20, archived)

BODMAS bitches

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Wed 10 May 2017, 11:31, archived)

www.doyouremember.co.uk/uploads/raw-1347357284-595x417.jpg
( manolith hooray for me, Wed 10 May 2017, 11:31, archived)

#member? #space'oppers #wacaday #willyfogg #dogtanian

( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Wed 10 May 2017, 11:33, archived)

fucking hell, this is a real low-effort website
www.doyouremember.co.uk/
( manolith hooray for me, Wed 10 May 2017, 11:39, archived)

Wow
'member Red Hot Chilli Peppers?

Yes.
( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Wed 10 May 2017, 11:41, archived)

NOT ENOUGH TO REMEMBER IT'S SPELT WITH ONLY ONE 'L'!!!!!

(rhcpaul, Wed 10 May 2017, 11:51, archived)

quiet you

( manolith hooray for me, Wed 10 May 2017, 11:52, archived)

NOT TO ME, IT ISN'T

( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Wed 10 May 2017, 11:53, archived)

That one's not much better, either.

( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Wed 10 May 2017, 11:52, archived)

Oh!

( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Wed 10 May 2017, 11:53, archived)

i.imgur.com/VdD1LSY.gif
( manolith hooray for me, Wed 10 May 2017, 11:54, archived)

Sassy Saddam

( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Wed 10 May 2017, 11:56, archived)

saDAYUM, GURL

( manolith hooray for me, Wed 10 May 2017, 11:59, archived)

Glory be to Farmer Barleymow.

( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Wed 10 May 2017, 11:32, archived)

One thing that really terrifies me about being a father
is my kid asking for help with their maths homework
( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Wed 10 May 2017, 11:41, archived)

I can't recall ever having learnt to do long division.
I mean, I can get them to the right answer, but I can't show my working.
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Wed 10 May 2017, 11:46, archived)

wow, i had no idea a morning thread could come without a sense of crushing inevitability

( manolith hooray for me, Wed 10 May 2017, 11:31, archived)

Smash the system.

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Wed 10 May 2017, 11:48, archived)

Hello
I have some serious questions that need answering with regards to custody of children.

This is the wrong place to ask these questions isn't it.
( spanishfly is so fucking sexy people impersonate him, Wed 10 May 2017, 11:40, archived)

Not if INTERNETLAWYERMAN shows up, no.
Otherwise, yes.
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Wed 10 May 2017, 11:41, archived)

in your case, yes
You don't stand a chance
( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Wed 10 May 2017, 11:41, archived)

If you don't have a solicitor, go to citizens advice

( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Wed 10 May 2017, 11:43, archived)

I've no knowledge of the subject I'm afraid.
There is a UK law subreddit, but they always just seem to say "ask a proper lawyer"
Some board members, McBeef for one, have gone through it all, so may help. If it's sensitive, might be best kept to gaz though
( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Wed 10 May 2017, 11:52, archived)

gutted

( $$ ✅, Wed 10 May 2017, 11:52, archived)

I rather enjoyed reading about Paul Weller sending for Piers Morgan
www.nme.com/news/music/paul-weller-piers-morgan-life-stories-2068602
( Slippery Mick &#8207;, Wed 10 May 2017, 11:48, archived)

haha, 'unhip' has to be the most unhip word there is

( manolith hooray for me, Wed 10 May 2017, 11:53, archived)

frinkiac.com/gif/S07E24/356372/359041.gif?b64lines=
( Slippery Mick &#8207;, Wed 10 May 2017, 11:59, archived)

haha, no caption required

( manolith hooray for me, Wed 10 May 2017, 12:05, archived)

"I don’t do that stuff. It’s very, very unhip from where I come from.'
Where he comes from being the 1950s, I guess.
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Wed 10 May 2017, 11:56, archived)

morning

( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Wed 10 May 2017, 7:20, archived)

Morning Grrt

( H.B.Mupps, Wed 10 May 2017, 7:20, archived)

I watched Dirk Gently on netters and it used the term "dirt muppet"
You've reminded me of that phrase now.
( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Wed 10 May 2017, 7:25, archived)

Is that any good? I liked the book but never looked into any adaptations
Also, if you're still interested about a GPU upgrade I normally refer to this table , if you find your card in there it shows you comparable cards and a good start on what to look for if you want to upgrade
( H.B.Mupps, Wed 10 May 2017, 7:29, archived)

I remember reading one of the Gently books as a teen
and the TV show was absolutely nothing like it. And Dirk's portrayal can be jarring to the point of annoying at first, but if you can get past it then things all start making sense. An easy weekend binge.

And ta for the GPU page. I don't get the chance to play games these days, but a bit of future-proofing would be good.
( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Wed 10 May 2017, 7:37, archived)

Might give that a watch at some point then
Protip - if you aren't in a rush to upgrade wait a couple of months. AMD should release the Vega GPUs in a couple of months and that shunts the price of other cards down a bit
( H.B.Mupps, Wed 10 May 2017, 7:43, archived)

It's a US adaptation isn't it? Not sure. There was one with that poodle-haired guy from the green wing, that was ok.
I think I might prefer Gently to the HHG but it's probably more to do with the latter's fans.
( Slippery Mick &#8207;, Wed 10 May 2017, 8:37, archived)

netflix is the same number of letters as 'netters' and it has the added benefit of not making you sound like a simpleton
#lifehack
( manolith hooray for me, Wed 10 May 2017, 9:41, archived)

I agree with manolith.
Probably a sign of the impending apocalypse - sorry, everyone.
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Wed 10 May 2017, 9:42, archived)

there's been a few other apocalyptic portents lately

( manolith hooray for me, Wed 10 May 2017, 9:44, archived)

That's why I calls it 'Netty-wetty-woo-wah'
easier innit
( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Wed 10 May 2017, 9:43, archived)

sensible
also: www.themarysue.com/netflix-adam-sandler/
( manolith hooray for me, Wed 10 May 2017, 9:45, archived)

yes!
more Adam Sandler movies! I love that guy more than international terrorism.
( $$ ✅, Wed 10 May 2017, 9:47, archived)

I prefer Adam Sandler to genital torture

( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Wed 10 May 2017, 9:49, archived)

is that what you call sex?
hahahaahahahahaha x9
( $$ ✅, Wed 10 May 2017, 9:50, archived)

“People love Adam’s films on Netflix and often watch them again and again,”
Which people? Like, real, human people?
( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Wed 10 May 2017, 9:48, archived)

Never give humanity too much credit, 2Hats.
Most people are awful.
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Wed 10 May 2017, 9:52, archived)

I just can't imagine anyone watching his movies more than once

( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Wed 10 May 2017, 9:53, archived)

i had a vhs copy of happy gilmore when i was about 14 that probably got a few watches

( manolith hooray for me, Wed 10 May 2017, 9:55, archived)

IBID

( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Wed 10 May 2017, 9:57, archived)

the blonde mum from modern family was in it
she had wet lingerie on in one of the scenes
( manolith hooray for me, Wed 10 May 2017, 9:58, archived)

*VHS tape snaps*

( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Wed 10 May 2017, 9:59, archived)

my son thinks he is funny

( mongychops, Wed 10 May 2017, 9:58, archived)

children don't know any better, do they

( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Wed 10 May 2017, 9:58, archived)

he didn't like the one with the magic cobbler, even he knew that was a pile of shit

( mongychops, Wed 10 May 2017, 10:05, archived)

pretty sure that one of the conditions in the human taxonomy is 'disdain for adam sandler'

( manolith hooray for me, Wed 10 May 2017, 9:54, archived)

Remember that leak of internal Sony Pictures e-mails from a while back?
Executives bitching at each other as to why Adam Sandler films keep getting commissioned despite their obvious and increasing shiteness.
( .Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Wed 10 May 2017, 9:57, archived)

www.ign.com/boards/threads/adam-sandler-is-the-biggest-fraud-in-hollywood.250129296/
( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Wed 10 May 2017, 9:58, archived)

i was thinking of those exact videos

( manolith hooray for me, Wed 10 May 2017, 9:58, archived)

Woah...he's like a modern-day Robin Hood or something.
Also, every time I read 'Rob Schneider', my brain thinks of Roy Schneider and I start thinking about Jaws.
( .Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Wed 10 May 2017, 10:08, archived)

wait, people are upset because they keep paying to see films they know they won't enjoy?
I hope he continues to make vast sums of money out of these idiots
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 10 May 2017, 10:10, archived)

He might just be smarter than we give him credit for.
I saw Click and thought it wasn't that bad, so maybe the secret is to make one reasonably watchable film every five years and spend the rest of the time churning out shite.
( .Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Wed 10 May 2017, 10:27, archived)

i don't think he's thick
i just think he's a cunt
( manolith hooray for me, Wed 10 May 2017, 10:30, archived)

Well, obvs.

( .Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Wed 10 May 2017, 10:34, archived)

Hi

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Wed 10 May 2017, 7:46, archived)

alright Mace Windy

( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Wed 10 May 2017, 7:56, archived)

Fuckerooooo

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Wed 10 May 2017, 8:02, archived)

+ mother
youtu.be/MOc1WWJh5Ko
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 10 May 2017, 8:52, archived)

Morning x 2

( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Wed 10 May 2017, 8:04, archived)

you're pregnant??

( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Wed 10 May 2017, 8:06, archived)

No, I'm just fat, you insensitive bastard.

( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Wed 10 May 2017, 9:13, archived)

Sunny humpday morning.

( .Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Wed 10 May 2017, 8:12, archived)

woo, yeah, humpday
This means nothing to me.
( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Wed 10 May 2017, 8:19, archived)

It's a deep-black viral advertising campaign for CamelBaks.

( .Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Wed 10 May 2017, 8:23, archived)

Hel'

( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Wed 10 May 2017, 8:34, archived)

That's the name of a peninsula in Poland
would you like a ticket to Hel?
( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Wed 10 May 2017, 8:37, archived)

*points at crotch*

( Slippery Mick &#8207;, Wed 10 May 2017, 8:39, archived)

Autostraaaaaaaaaaaaaaada do Hel'!

( .Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Wed 10 May 2017, 8:40, archived)

Autostradas are fucking terrifying
Speed limit is 85mph, I was doing that at night in the snow and got overtaken by pretty much everything else, including Fiat Pandas. Polish drivers are mental.
( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Wed 10 May 2017, 8:43, archived)

I'm beginning to think the UK is in a minority with its attitude to road safety.
You're brought up to think you have to drive very carefully because driving is very dangerous and you might DIE, or KILL SOMEONE. In a lot of other countries, the attitude seems to be "Eh, people have road accidents and die sometimes. It happens."
( .Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Wed 10 May 2017, 8:51, archived)

I drove up to the Netherlands a couple of years ago,
Speeds were higher, which initially was a bit intimidating. It everyone seemed to drive much more predictably, signalled in good time and all sorts. I don't know if the testing system is much different over there.
( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Wed 10 May 2017, 8:54, archived)

It's mental east of Germany
because until recently most people could only afford a poxy 4-cylinder shitbox from the 80s, but suddenly you can buy a scrapped/rebuilt BMW with 150hp from a dodgy importer for not much cash so everyone goes bombing around like they're Colin McRae. Add on the mandatory alcoholism of every national holiday and the death toll is properly tragic.
( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Wed 10 May 2017, 9:02, archived)

I thought Rome was insane
then I went to Naples. *knocks back whisky, stares into space*
( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Wed 10 May 2017, 9:27, archived)

'naples' is a quite similar word to 'nipples'
there
( manolith hooray for me, Wed 10 May 2017, 9:46, archived)

And don't think that I wasn't reminded of that every single day we were there

( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Wed 10 May 2017, 9:49, archived)

yeah, sorry for texting you so much

( manolith hooray for me, Wed 10 May 2017, 10:01, archived)

50p a time, m8
50p a time
( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Wed 10 May 2017, 10:10, archived)

he must think you're made of money

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 10 May 2017, 10:16, archived)

I'm sick of it, m8

( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Wed 10 May 2017, 10:17, archived)

^subscribed to cat facts

( manolith hooray for me, Wed 10 May 2017, 10:16, archived)

Good morning.

( $$ ✅, Wed 10 May 2017, 8:38, archived)

yeah, it's a pretty good one

( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Wed 10 May 2017, 9:02, archived)

sup

( theniwokeup has been awake since, Wed 10 May 2017, 8:45, archived)

word

( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Wed 10 May 2017, 9:02, archived)

hey, how ya doin? sorry you can't get through

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 10 May 2017, 8:52, archived)

write your name, and your number, and I'll report you to the appropriate authorities

( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Wed 10 May 2017, 9:03, archived)

It was late last night, I was feeling something wasn't right

( drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Wed 10 May 2017, 9:07, archived)

sorry about that

( $$ ✅, Wed 10 May 2017, 9:09, archived)

Told you I had a headache but you wouldn't let up so in the end it was easiest to just let things happen

( drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Wed 10 May 2017, 9:10, archived)

arse

( manolith hooray for me, Wed 10 May 2017, 9:22, archived)

woah

( $$ ✅, Wed 10 May 2017, 9:25, archived)

yeah

( manolith hooray for me, Wed 10 May 2017, 9:36, archived)

I can't believe you kiss your mother with that mouth

( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Wed 10 May 2017, 9:28, archived)

you've reached a new low

( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Wed 10 May 2017, 9:32, archived)

well yeah, i'm bottom of the thread
aha, 'bottom'
( manolith hooray for me, Wed 10 May 2017, 9:37, archived)

Bottom get

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Wed 10 May 2017, 9:38, archived)

mother fucker

( manolith hooray for me, Wed 10 May 2017, 9:39, archived)

Woah. You've got a rude mouth

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Wed 10 May 2017, 9:42, archived)

i'm off the flippin' chain

( manolith hooray for me, Wed 10 May 2017, 9:47, archived)

Nothing is beneath me.

( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Wed 10 May 2017, 9:39, archived)

^the underminer

( manolith hooray for me, Wed 10 May 2017, 9:39, archived)

^ tggi

( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Wed 10 May 2017, 9:43, archived)

i didn't realise that the sequel wasn't going to be about him because they already told that story in the ps2 game

( manolith hooray for me, Wed 10 May 2017, 9:48, archived)

Sequel?
I notice Cars 3 is out soon. Disney do love to milk a franchise.
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Wed 10 May 2017, 9:51, archived)

next year, yo
www.imdb.com/title/tt3606756/
( manolith hooray for me, Wed 10 May 2017, 9:57, archived)

Incredibles is my second favourite Pixar film I reckon
there
( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Wed 10 May 2017, 10:11, archived)

thanks 'mark kermode'

( manolith hooray for me, Wed 10 May 2017, 10:15, archived)

Next week: My fourth favourite Dreamworks film!

( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Wed 10 May 2017, 10:16, archived)

And I love everything Bluesky have ever made
No favourites
( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Wed 10 May 2017, 10:19, archived)

Rio 2 was shit, and ice age 4

( mongychops, Wed 10 May 2017, 10:26, archived)

especially this, yeah?
i.imgur.com/M1pbI2p.png
( manolith hooray for me, Wed 10 May 2017, 10:43, archived)

hard to watch

( $$ ✅, Wed 10 May 2017, 10:45, archived)

good grief

( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Wed 10 May 2017, 10:51, archived)

god, i hope it's spirit: stallion of the cimarron

( manolith hooray for me, Wed 10 May 2017, 10:19, archived)