if your cock was as fat as your ego
you might be able to satisfy your missus for once
( , Mon 4 Dec 2017, 19:54, archived)
you might be able to satisfy your missus for once
( , Mon 4 Dec 2017, 19:54, archived)
[v/o] THIS PERP CLEARLY ENJOYS HIS CRACK. CRACK COCAINE, THAT IS. BUT WHERE HE'S GOING NOW, HE'S ABOUT TO SEE A WHOLE DIFFERENT KIND OF "CRACK" ACTION.
[Cut to John leaning on a squad car bonnet. He stands up straight and begins walking toward the camera across a busy police station car park. He keeps our gaze throughout, unblinking.]
OF COURSE I WAS REFERRING TO NON-CONSENSUAL ANAL SEX, WHICH HAPPENS FREQUENTLY IN PRISONS IN THIS DISTRICT. STILL, WHEN YOU LIVE THE LIFE
[John is struck forcibly by a speeding squad car entering frame right, breaking both his femurs and sending him flying out of shot.]
( , Mon 4 Dec 2017, 21:29, archived)
[Cut to John leaning on a squad car bonnet. He stands up straight and begins walking toward the camera across a busy police station car park. He keeps our gaze throughout, unblinking.]
OF COURSE I WAS REFERRING TO NON-CONSENSUAL ANAL SEX, WHICH HAPPENS FREQUENTLY IN PRISONS IN THIS DISTRICT. STILL, WHEN YOU LIVE THE LIFE
[John is struck forcibly by a speeding squad car entering frame right, breaking both his femurs and sending him flying out of shot.]
( , Mon 4 Dec 2017, 21:29, archived)
Sir, I'm going to have to ask you to leave World Of Bubblewrap.
( , Mon 4 Dec 2017, 22:35, archived)
( , Mon 4 Dec 2017, 22:35, archived)
Getting ahead in a difficult profession requires avid faith in yourself. That is why some people with mediocre talent, but with great inner drive, go much further than people with vastly superior talent.
( , Mon 4 Dec 2017, 13:33, archived)
( , Mon 4 Dec 2017, 13:33, archived)
I like to let people talk who like to talk. It lets me find out how full of shit they are.
( , Mon 4 Dec 2017, 13:48, archived)
( , Mon 4 Dec 2017, 13:48, archived)
"Why dazzle them with diamonds, when you can blind them with bullshit?"
( , Mon 4 Dec 2017, 13:50, archived)
( , Mon 4 Dec 2017, 13:50, archived)
Analien vs Predatits
web.archive.org/web/20100209010732/http://www.b3tards.com/u/04d821dabf7fcbecc84b/analienvspredatits.gif
( , Mon 4 Dec 2017, 14:24, archived)
web.archive.org/web/20100209010732/http://www.b3tards.com/u/04d821dabf7fcbecc84b/analienvspredatits.gif
( , Mon 4 Dec 2017, 14:24, archived)
this is heading towards Bumrape VI: The Return of the Bumrape
I hope
( , Mon 4 Dec 2017, 13:12, archived)
I hope
( , Mon 4 Dec 2017, 13:12, archived)
Bumrape III: I'm Mr Meeseeks, look at me.
I paid £340 for a teapot and 4 cups and saucers.
( , Mon 4 Dec 2017, 13:06, archived)
I paid £340 for a teapot and 4 cups and saucers.
( , Mon 4 Dec 2017, 13:06, archived)
It's the 4th of December
I hope you all have your Christmas**
(**other religious holidays are available)
Decorations up. I have, but seemingly I was supposed to put the tree up first, baubles, lights, tinsel and a fairy rolling around the living room floor are not it seems child or dog friendly.
What did you have for lunch?
( , Mon 4 Dec 2017, 13:04, archived)
I hope you all have your Christmas**
(**other religious holidays are available)
Decorations up. I have, but seemingly I was supposed to put the tree up first, baubles, lights, tinsel and a fairy rolling around the living room floor are not it seems child or dog friendly.
What did you have for lunch?
( , Mon 4 Dec 2017, 13:04, archived)
Me either.
I have a call with a load of Aussies in a few minutes.
( , Mon 4 Dec 2017, 7:46, archived)
I have a call with a load of Aussies in a few minutes.
( , Mon 4 Dec 2017, 7:46, archived)
I like sundays, out for a few beers, footy on the telly, loads of people out, then home for weed
( , Sun 3 Dec 2017, 16:48, archived)
( , Sun 3 Dec 2017, 16:48, archived)
i hate both beer and footy
and am unable to watch the snooker, which is not putting me in the best of moods.
( , Sun 3 Dec 2017, 16:51, archived)
and am unable to watch the snooker, which is not putting me in the best of moods.
( , Sun 3 Dec 2017, 16:51, archived)
uk championship, started tuesday
managed to watch o'sullivan win his last match, but telly hogs have descended
( , Sun 3 Dec 2017, 16:58, archived)
managed to watch o'sullivan win his last match, but telly hogs have descended
( , Sun 3 Dec 2017, 16:58, archived)
Fair.
A mate got us free tickets to the Fu/Higgins semi back when it was in Aberdeen. Seeing it live was rubbish as you have to sit in silence and the table is upside down compared to the telly. At one point a disabled person yelped and me and my friends got silent giggles for about 10 minutes and felt like cunts.
( , Sun 3 Dec 2017, 17:08, archived)
A mate got us free tickets to the Fu/Higgins semi back when it was in Aberdeen. Seeing it live was rubbish as you have to sit in silence and the table is upside down compared to the telly. At one point a disabled person yelped and me and my friends got silent giggles for about 10 minutes and felt like cunts.
( , Sun 3 Dec 2017, 17:08, archived)
i'd have done the same, tbh
saw the senior masters live a couple of years ago, rory mccleod is a slow cunt
( , Sun 3 Dec 2017, 17:19, archived)
saw the senior masters live a couple of years ago, rory mccleod is a slow cunt
( , Sun 3 Dec 2017, 17:19, archived)
Imagine scoring tickets then ending up with ebdon, doesn't bear thinking about.
( , Sun 3 Dec 2017, 17:24, archived)
( , Sun 3 Dec 2017, 17:24, archived)
Lol, one of my mates once described another friends girlfriend as 'having a face like Stephen Henry in the '90s' so horrible, but quite lol.
( , Sun 3 Dec 2017, 21:35, archived)
( , Sun 3 Dec 2017, 21:35, archived)
I'm in a bar there's alright live music on. Later 12 monkeys is on the box.
( , Sun 3 Dec 2017, 16:48, archived)
( , Sun 3 Dec 2017, 16:48, archived)
Sunday mornings and afternoons are boring.
I slept through this particular Sunday morning and did various housework-related mundanities this afternoon. Now that evening's setting in, though, it's time to crack open the sauce and see which film(s) I'm going to watch. Nowt boring about that.
( , Sun 3 Dec 2017, 17:32, archived)
I slept through this particular Sunday morning and did various housework-related mundanities this afternoon. Now that evening's setting in, though, it's time to crack open the sauce and see which film(s) I'm going to watch. Nowt boring about that.
( , Sun 3 Dec 2017, 17:32, archived)
Yeah, I got my housework done
Couple of pints and Sherlock tonight
( , Sun 3 Dec 2017, 18:01, archived)
Couple of pints and Sherlock tonight
( , Sun 3 Dec 2017, 18:01, archived)
Alright 'Morrissey'
Get a stressful job, then you won't mind Sundays so much
( , Sun 3 Dec 2017, 19:41, archived)
Get a stressful job, then you won't mind Sundays so much
( , Sun 3 Dec 2017, 19:41, archived)
grrrmorning.
it's snowing and I'm sitting on a train having to go to Lower Saxony again. *raps without no beat*
( , Sun 3 Dec 2017, 9:01, archived)
it's snowing and I'm sitting on a train having to go to Lower Saxony again. *raps without no beat*
( , Sun 3 Dec 2017, 9:01, archived)
I'm really glad I subscribed to cable.
Columbo is broadcasting on 3 completely different channels.
( , Sun 3 Dec 2017, 13:31, archived)
Columbo is broadcasting on 3 completely different channels.
( , Sun 3 Dec 2017, 13:31, archived)
« Older messages | Newer messages »