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I'm home now. Have a nice weekend. See you Monday.

(, Fri 23 Feb 2018, 16:00, archived)
sweet dreams our gentle prince x

(, Fri 23 Feb 2018, 16:02, archived)
Bit gay.

(, Fri 23 Feb 2018, 16:02, archived)
I will gay you so hard your head will spin...

(, Fri 23 Feb 2018, 16:04, archived)
...on the end of my winky lol

(, Fri 23 Feb 2018, 16:04, archived)
Part of me hopes you have a nice weekend
a very private part
(, Fri 23 Feb 2018, 16:05, archived)
disgusting

(, Fri 23 Feb 2018, 16:05, archived)
I apologise for nothing

(, Fri 23 Feb 2018, 16:07, archived)
I've got a question for mongy about watches, is he about?

(, Fri 23 Feb 2018, 16:09, archived)
how would I know?
fuck me
(, Fri 23 Feb 2018, 16:16, archived)
Cheers pal

(, Fri 23 Feb 2018, 16:28, archived)
Yer Mon

(, Fri 23 Feb 2018, 16:18, archived)
If you change the date on a watch near to midnight or midday can it damage the movement?

(, Fri 23 Feb 2018, 16:28, archived)
No as it would happen anyway

(, Fri 23 Feb 2018, 16:30, archived)
Fucking discord wankers chatting shit.

(, Fri 23 Feb 2018, 16:40, archived)
The date is just an addition to the movement, I've had date wheels disconnect from the crown stem, the movement is fine, the watch works, but the little screw that attached the date wheel was loose , quick fix and right as rain

(, Fri 23 Feb 2018, 16:43, archived)
I'll try, but I promise nothing

(, Fri 23 Feb 2018, 16:33, archived)
What a nest egg

(, Fri 23 Feb 2018, 17:06, archived)
I've bought 4 for the loft
20 years from now, I'm retiring
(, Fri 23 Feb 2018, 17:07, archived)
I paid about 400 for a shitty black plastic one when they came out, gutted :(

(, Fri 23 Feb 2018, 17:14, archived)
That's gold, Jerry! Gold!

(, Fri 23 Feb 2018, 17:31, archived)
You int the boss of me

(, Fri 23 Feb 2018, 18:27, archived)
ALRIGHT KIDS'S
Nearly there. Not long now.
(, Fri 23 Feb 2018, 13:46, archived)
bit longer than normal
I have to stay until 3.30 today, not sure I'll cope
(, Fri 23 Feb 2018, 13:52, archived)
Bloody hell
sending prayers hun x
(, Fri 23 Feb 2018, 13:55, archived)
Two hours and then fuck this noise with a typhoid-soaked length of rebar.

(, Fri 23 Feb 2018, 13:55, archived)


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(, Fri 23 Feb 2018, 13:56, archived)
So you shop at asciiclownshoes.com too?

(, Fri 23 Feb 2018, 14:52, archived)
cheers

(, Fri 23 Feb 2018, 13:56, archived)
I haven't got started yet
Gonna finish lunch then blast some tunes and do the cleaning
(, Fri 23 Feb 2018, 13:57, archived)
Isn't it? I better get ready then

(, Fri 23 Feb 2018, 14:00, archived)
Might have a beer or two later on.

(, Fri 23 Feb 2018, 14:11, archived)
where can i go right now and physically buy a usb typing keyboard?

(, Fri 23 Feb 2018, 14:13, archived)
all keyboards can type usb, m8

(, Fri 23 Feb 2018, 14:18, archived)
not if they don't go past G# they can't

(, Fri 23 Feb 2018, 14:22, archived)
poo piss wee, more like

(, Fri 23 Feb 2018, 14:24, archived)
the shops, m8

(, Fri 23 Feb 2018, 14:21, archived)
well i'd better fuck off there then hadn't i
^seems grammarly wrong but idk why
(, Fri 23 Feb 2018, 14:23, archived)
grammarly wrong...

(, Fri 23 Feb 2018, 15:22, archived)
exactly

(, Fri 23 Feb 2018, 15:42, archived)
I think Im going to be here til 5 :(((((

(, Fri 23 Feb 2018, 14:22, archived)
Yay for death
Sweet sweet death!
(, Fri 23 Feb 2018, 14:24, archived)
I will be here until 5pm. Then it will take me 2 hours to get home.
*sobs*
(, Fri 23 Feb 2018, 14:26, archived)
Do you take a train?
Drink heavily on the way home.
(, Fri 23 Feb 2018, 14:47, archived)
fuck

(, Fri 23 Feb 2018, 14:27, archived)
ROLL UP ROLL UP.!!
Pass teh dutchie and tell us your weekend glans.

I've got new drag race to watch tonight, the kid staying over on Saturday and a nice chilled Sunday ahead.
(, Fri 23 Feb 2018, 10:42, archived)

mem
(, Fri 23 Feb 2018, 10:45, archived)
Bobby must stink

(, Fri 23 Feb 2018, 10:47, archived)
I'm in trouble dink

(, Fri 23 Feb 2018, 12:20, archived)
lol

(, Fri 23 Feb 2018, 12:34, archived)
Just lately I've developed this worrying interest in 80s madge, have I finally caught gay

(, Fri 23 Feb 2018, 12:37, archived)
BETTER LATE THAN NEVER!
The 12" versions are where it's at (ooer)... Open Your Heart is a good one.
(, Fri 23 Feb 2018, 12:40, archived)
you might've caught it off a toilet seat
or if you had sex with a gay man
(, Fri 23 Feb 2018, 13:09, archived)
Hmm

(, Fri 23 Feb 2018, 10:49, archived)
oh here he comes
mr bloody scepticism
(, Fri 23 Feb 2018, 10:54, archived)
I'd need to see proof
ahem
(, Fri 23 Feb 2018, 10:56, archived)
Oi
Have you played 'Rime'?
*EDIT* Actually, this is open to anyone here who may have played it.
(, Fri 23 Feb 2018, 10:50, archived)
was that a ps plus freebie?
i haven't played playstation in a while actually. the switch has it beaten in terms of convenience
(, Fri 23 Feb 2018, 10:52, archived)
Yeah, it was a freebie
It's well good. It's like a really big level of Zelda, but without the stress.
(, Fri 23 Feb 2018, 10:55, archived)
cool
i'll give it a bash one day. it's very pretty
(, Fri 23 Feb 2018, 10:56, archived)
The puzzles are tricky without being frustrating
and there are very few hazards to be aware of. It's just a nice, relaxing little game. 5/7
(, Fri 23 Feb 2018, 10:59, archived)
how long is it? (oo-er missus!!!)
games like that are usually pretty short
(, Fri 23 Feb 2018, 11:03, archived)
I've been playing it for a few hours now
Not sure, to be honest. You're right though, these things are never long
(, Fri 23 Feb 2018, 11:05, archived)
to be honest, i like that about the psplus stuff
did you ever play the unfinished swan? pretentious as all hell but nice as a bite size gameplay experience
(, Fri 23 Feb 2018, 11:14, archived)
+unable to break a man's arm

(, Fri 23 Feb 2018, 11:15, archived)
that's bollocks anyway
swans just giving it all that *hand beak gesture*
(, Fri 23 Feb 2018, 11:34, archived)
poofiest of all birds, easily

(, Fri 23 Feb 2018, 11:49, archived)
No, not seen that one
I've got a list of indy games that I haven't touched yet.
(, Fri 23 Feb 2018, 11:15, archived)
Guyrime

(, Fri 23 Feb 2018, 12:17, archived)
gonna pull my old bicycle out of the basement and strip it down
it's been about six years since my accident and I'm ready to ride again
(, Fri 23 Feb 2018, 10:48, archived)
Stabilisers off and she's ready to roll.
Don't forget your pelmit
(, Fri 23 Feb 2018, 10:58, archived)
rear wheel's more bent than you m8

(, Fri 23 Feb 2018, 11:00, archived)
Southampton tomorrow
Then my mother is coming round on sunday. Not an interesting one, this week.
(, Fri 23 Feb 2018, 10:49, archived)
Teaching my daughter to play Warhammer.
Worrying that spending my Saturdays in the comic shop is undermining my relationship with the missus.
(, Fri 23 Feb 2018, 10:51, archived)
well you've got to go somewhere while she's banging the binmen, eh?

(, Fri 23 Feb 2018, 10:55, archived)
Bin day is Wednesday.
Saturday is her dogging day, but I can't help thinking that it should be something we should do as a couple.
(, Fri 23 Feb 2018, 10:59, archived)
been keeping the missus company in hospital all week but it looks like she's going home either today or tomorrow morning
so that's nice
(, Fri 23 Feb 2018, 10:51, archived)
I hope this isn't a tragic story of domestic violence.

(, Fri 23 Feb 2018, 11:01, archived)
me too

(, Fri 23 Feb 2018, 11:15, archived)
I'll trust you to make sure this has a happy ending.

(, Fri 23 Feb 2018, 11:20, archived)

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(, Fri 23 Feb 2018, 11:00, archived)
I thought this was a Tintin reference for a minute

(, Fri 23 Feb 2018, 11:06, archived)
woah!

(, Fri 23 Feb 2018, 11:10, archived)
^

(, Fri 23 Feb 2018, 11:10, archived)
^

(, Fri 23 Feb 2018, 12:18, archived)
You do have the knack of starting threads featuring at least one slang expression I've not heard before.
Tonight: short films evening on the theme of "Love, Glory and Very First Times".

No real plans apart from that. I haven't been in much of a mood for making plans this week but I should probably get off my arse and do something diversifying.
(, Fri 23 Feb 2018, 11:02, archived)
It's my frightful, poverty-stricken Northen-ness...
and a lack of grammatical finesse.
(, Fri 23 Feb 2018, 11:37, archived)
SHITTY PANTS

(, Fri 23 Feb 2018, 11:03, archived)
There he is!

(, Fri 23 Feb 2018, 11:06, archived)
I'm tired.
A 6am start is poo and scaffolding is poo and I forgot to have breakfast and it's really cold and I just want a nice lie down.
(, Fri 23 Feb 2018, 11:11, archived)
Aw
Well you just need to get through today, then you can have two whole days off x
(, Fri 23 Feb 2018, 11:12, archived)
Thanks m8

(, Fri 23 Feb 2018, 11:15, archived)
Someones left a pair of boxers in the work bogs.

(, Fri 23 Feb 2018, 11:38, archived)
Jesus, it's my birthday a week sunday

(, Fri 23 Feb 2018, 11:10, archived)
Sit on Jesus's lap and tell him what presents you'd like.

(, Fri 23 Feb 2018, 11:14, archived)
I think I'm getting a new tv
and various other things for the house
(, Fri 23 Feb 2018, 11:16, archived)
I like getting useful presents.
We're hoping to redecorate and rearrange the lounge, this year, so I'll be on the lookout for new furniture, too.
(, Fri 23 Feb 2018, 11:23, archived)
If this is the reincarnation of jesus we're fucked

(, Fri 23 Feb 2018, 11:15, archived)
no way this fat cunt will share his loaves and fishes

(, Fri 23 Feb 2018, 11:24, archived)
OI

(, Fri 23 Feb 2018, 11:29, archived)
prolly best to just skip it this year

(, Fri 23 Feb 2018, 11:16, archived)
Yeah, I agree
What's the point, really. I didn't do anything last year, and it was my 40th.
(, Fri 23 Feb 2018, 11:17, archived)
all you need is a nice pair of ears
b3ta.com/calendar/event/26072
(, Fri 23 Feb 2018, 11:25, archived)
fucken wonderful

(, Fri 23 Feb 2018, 11:30, archived)
Tell us next fuckin friday then...

(, Fri 23 Feb 2018, 11:51, archived)
Probably spend a bit of time moaning about how cold it is.
If I get bored of that, I might do something else.
(, Fri 23 Feb 2018, 11:23, archived)
I'm going to Whitstable
where Peter Cushing rode his bicycle.

Will probably eat an oyster, not really sure what the fuss is about.
(, Fri 23 Feb 2018, 12:18, archived)
The fly of my jeans has just broken.
Stupid bastard bastard cheap bastard tailoring shoddy fecking bastard bastard bastard.
(, Fri 23 Feb 2018, 12:21, archived)
Staple your trousers

(, Fri 23 Feb 2018, 12:23, archived)
I've heard worse ideas
occasionally.
(, Fri 23 Feb 2018, 12:30, archived)
Cover it with a fanny pack

(, Fri 23 Feb 2018, 12:34, archived)
Pink and green and from the 80s

(, Fri 23 Feb 2018, 12:35, archived)
If only I had such a decency-saving garment to hand.
Um...I mean "lol fanny".
(, Fri 23 Feb 2018, 12:37, archived)
bottom get

(, Fri 23 Feb 2018, 13:35, archived)
morning v2
since Windy's asleep on the job
(, Fri 23 Feb 2018, 8:03, archived)
go u2

(, Fri 23 Feb 2018, 8:04, archived)
Fucking Bono

(, Fri 23 Feb 2018, 8:06, archived)
+bos erryday

(, Fri 23 Feb 2018, 8:21, archived)
Rare Dr Dre B side

(, Fri 23 Feb 2018, 8:27, archived)
who?

(, Fri 23 Feb 2018, 9:17, archived)
Dr Drebside, m8, come on
Even I know that one
(, Fri 23 Feb 2018, 9:26, archived)
moribund drebside?

(, Fri 23 Feb 2018, 9:33, archived)
oh god no

(, Fri 23 Feb 2018, 8:09, archived)
And a V-twin morning to you.

(, Fri 23 Feb 2018, 8:07, archived)
*revs*

(, Fri 23 Feb 2018, 8:09, archived)
*deacons*

(, Fri 23 Feb 2018, 9:17, archived)
you're such a joey

(, Fri 23 Feb 2018, 9:24, archived)
i just wanted to be the batista to your d-von

(, Fri 23 Feb 2018, 9:32, archived)
m8

(, Fri 23 Feb 2018, 9:33, archived)
you can be my dita von any time m8

(, Fri 23 Feb 2018, 9:36, archived)
is that the one with the tits and the tats?

(, Fri 23 Feb 2018, 9:41, archived)
damn straight

(, Fri 23 Feb 2018, 9:42, archived)
Sorry mate.

(, Fri 23 Feb 2018, 8:12, archived)
s'alright, you had work, we all understand
I mean, I did a 14-hour day yesterday and I'm still here for the morning thread, but I understand you've got a lot on your plate. I'm here for you.
(, Fri 23 Feb 2018, 8:13, archived)
It's hard to post when you're putting up scaffolding

(, Fri 23 Feb 2018, 8:14, archived)
I worked with a scaff-monkey once
and by monkey, I really mean ape. He looked like King Louie from the Jungle Book but with Kevin Keegan's hair, and he'd swing on the scaffold poles in exactly the same way.
(, Fri 23 Feb 2018, 8:19, archived)
To be fair, it's a hard temptation to resist.
When I was in direct sales, I rang someone's doorbell once but there was no-one home, so I did pull-ups on the scaffolding on the front of their house.
(, Fri 23 Feb 2018, 8:23, archived)
Curtain twitchers were all like what the FUCK is that guy doing

(, Fri 23 Feb 2018, 8:25, archived)
More than likely.
My boss had the police called on him one day by a busybody who was wondering what two men in suits were doing wandering around a housing estate.
(, Fri 23 Feb 2018, 8:30, archived)
Oh right and yet they're too short staffed to turn up when there's an actual crime happening

(, Fri 23 Feb 2018, 8:36, archived)
ikr?

(, Fri 23 Feb 2018, 8:37, archived)
DIRECT SWOLES, more like

(, Fri 23 Feb 2018, 8:27, archived)
Dem financial gainz tho.

(, Fri 23 Feb 2018, 8:31, archived)
BEAST IT UP IN THE CUL-DE-SAC

(, Fri 23 Feb 2018, 9:01, archived)
what is is with all of this sunny weather lately?
morning
(, Fri 23 Feb 2018, 8:22, archived)
the clearer the sky, the colder it gets
I regret putting on my thermals this morning
(, Fri 23 Feb 2018, 8:23, archived)
I like it.
It feels like the air is biting me.
(, Fri 23 Feb 2018, 8:29, archived)
I hate waking up at work

(, Fri 23 Feb 2018, 8:40, archived)
can't you shift your schedule
so you wake up from your heroin dream at home?
(, Fri 23 Feb 2018, 8:44, archived)
A morning v2 would be one hell of an alarm clock

(, Fri 23 Feb 2018, 8:53, archived)
the ominous whistling sound of an incoming food thread

(, Fri 23 Feb 2018, 9:01, archived)
It's when the noise stops you know we're in trouble, I predict it will land in the weekend plans thread

(, Fri 23 Feb 2018, 9:05, archived)
Hello.

(, Fri 23 Feb 2018, 8:56, archived)
alright monster munch

(, Fri 23 Feb 2018, 9:02, archived)
Two weeks of being thoroughly congested is starting to wear me down.

(, Fri 23 Feb 2018, 9:13, archived)
I've had a dry hacking cough for three weeks now
ahem
(, Fri 23 Feb 2018, 9:19, archived)
#hackedoff

(, Fri 23 Feb 2018, 9:24, archived)
My dad's had a permanent cough, ever since his last stroke.
Maybe you're dying?
(, Fri 23 Feb 2018, 9:35, archived)
can't remember the last time I got a stroke :(

(, Fri 23 Feb 2018, 9:38, archived)
maybe do a galloway-esque cat impression for a bit

(, Fri 23 Feb 2018, 9:40, archived)
Married life, eh?

(, Fri 23 Feb 2018, 9:44, archived)
'sup, yo
i just scored some tickets to be in a telly show audience
(, Fri 23 Feb 2018, 9:14, archived)
that's pretty cool
which show?
(, Fri 23 Feb 2018, 9:19, archived)
taskmaster
it's probably my favourite show of the last few years
(, Fri 23 Feb 2018, 9:23, archived)
I'v not seen that
although I recognise this Horne bloke from Cats does Countdown
(, Fri 23 Feb 2018, 9:26, archived)
I recognise him from The Horne Section,
what with him being Alex Horne.
(, Fri 23 Feb 2018, 9:32, archived)
he devised the show and is brilliant on it
i sort of want to kill him and take his place
(, Fri 23 Feb 2018, 9:38, archived)
Did you watch We Need Answers?

(, Fri 23 Feb 2018, 9:43, archived)
occasionally
tim key and mark watson have both been on taskmaster as well
(, Fri 23 Feb 2018, 9:45, archived)
I like Tim Key.
Mark Watson is a strange one, what with the fake Welsh accent, and appearing permanently frightened.
(, Fri 23 Feb 2018, 9:50, archived)
i like both of them
watson packed in the fake welsh thing ages ago and people have done stranger things to stand out in what must be a pretty tough industry
(, Fri 23 Feb 2018, 10:19, archived)
Yeah, but I caught an old clip on the radio, the other day, where he still had it, and it was weird.
I rather liked "Mark Watson Makes The World Substantially Better", but he was invariably the least funny person on it. But maybe that was the point - probably best I don't over think these things.
(, Fri 23 Feb 2018, 10:26, archived)
you're weirdly self aware today

(, Fri 23 Feb 2018, 10:34, archived)
Judgement Day.
The HKs will be released any time now.
(, Fri 23 Feb 2018, 10:40, archived)
Which station is this on please

(, Fri 23 Feb 2018, 9:27, archived)
Oh, is it on Dave?
I can get Dave now! I'm going to watch it, then write to Dave and complain about the scruffy hippy in the audience
(, Fri 23 Feb 2018, 9:29, archived)
there are 5 series and a christmas special already
should all be on demand somewhere. i reckon you might enjoy it. i could talk for fuckin' ages about why it's brillo but don't worry, i won't
(, Fri 23 Feb 2018, 9:31, archived)
cheers

(, Fri 23 Feb 2018, 9:32, archived)
No, please do.
I love it when you're wrong.

Although, to be honest, I prefer it when you're right, as I'd have missed out on Rick & Morty, otherwise.
(, Fri 23 Feb 2018, 9:34, archived)
how do you know you love it when i'm wrong?

(, Fri 23 Feb 2018, 9:44, archived)
I seem to like nothing better than taking issue with something you've said.
Which is strange, 'cos it always feels like a massive chore, but I just can't help myself.
(, Fri 23 Feb 2018, 9:46, archived)









help me
(, Fri 23 Feb 2018, 9:56, archived)

www.reactiongifs.us/wp-content/uploads/2013/07.gif
(, Fri 23 Feb 2018, 10:03, archived)
I think Andrew Lawrence should have been cast as Rorschach.
He looks like the comic book character, and he's an unpleasant nutter, so he'd have been perfect.
(, Fri 23 Feb 2018, 10:09, archived)
^ shut up, nerd
Just enjoy the gif for what it is, not what it represents.
(, Fri 23 Feb 2018, 10:12, archived)
but then he'd have made loads of money
and i prefer to think of him struggling and alone
(, Fri 23 Feb 2018, 10:21, archived)
I remeber when he was actually funny.
Then the BBC let him do a sitcom, and he proved it wasn't positive discrimination that was keeping him off the air, after all.
(, Fri 23 Feb 2018, 10:30, archived)
Fella I know doesn't watch any TV, apart from Taskmaster.

(, Fri 23 Feb 2018, 9:30, archived)
Which show's that for, then?

(, Fri 23 Feb 2018, 9:20, archived)
sea a buv

(, Fri 23 Feb 2018, 9:23, archived)
Sounds good.
I reckon Greg Davies would win the 'largest person on the telly' award, if there were one.
(, Fri 23 Feb 2018, 9:30, archived)
I know car shows aren't popular here
but Penn and Teller were on the Grand Tour recently, with Penn standing next to Clarkson and Teller next to Hammond. It looked like the weird forced-perspective technique used to film Gandalf and the hobbits.
(, Fri 23 Feb 2018, 9:34, archived)
I'm almost tempted to complain to Amazon about them squandering my Prime subscription on Clarkson & Co.
Like all those people who complain to the BBC when it dares to commission a show that's not specifically tailored to their interests.
(, Fri 23 Feb 2018, 9:37, archived)
I enjoyed the Golden Years of Top Gear
and the current season of GT is getting close to that. I understand exactly why people hate it though, and they need to give up this pointless fucking interviewing celebrities-bollocks that nobody gives a shit about, even if it was Pink Floyd and The Police's drummers a few weeks ago.
(, Fri 23 Feb 2018, 9:41, archived)
I liked it when it was an informative magazine programme,
rather than a way to feed Clarkson's ego.
(, Fri 23 Feb 2018, 9:52, archived)
So back when Noel Edmonds was on it?

(, Fri 23 Feb 2018, 9:56, archived)
Was he?
I remeber Tiff Needel, Quentin Wilson and Gaz Coombe's dad, but this must be going back some years.
(, Fri 23 Feb 2018, 9:58, archived)
Yeah, that was a really long time ago
Back when no one watched it, hence the re-tooling of the show.
(, Fri 23 Feb 2018, 10:00, archived)
Indeed.
I find the relaunched version was the sort of TV you wouldn't make an effort to watch, but nor would it compel you to change the channel. TV sludge, basically.

But, yeah, the old one was stuffy and boring (like me).
(, Fri 23 Feb 2018, 10:05, archived)
Tiff Needel is a brilliant driver
but his TV personality is such that he makes even revving the tits off a V8 to do doughnuts boring. Quentin couldn't continue after The Fast Show encapsulated his entire career as the 15th Duke of Wimburne, and I dunno who Gaz Coombe's dad is.
(, Fri 23 Feb 2018, 10:12, archived)
Mr Coombes

(, Fri 23 Feb 2018, 10:16, archived)
It's quite likely that I've repeated an urban legend, there.
Not an exciting one, granted.
(, Fri 23 Feb 2018, 10:21, archived)
he means Danny Goffey's dad

(, Fri 23 Feb 2018, 10:28, archived)
Ah.
Cheers.
Grrry is bound to have an opinion on him.
(, Fri 23 Feb 2018, 10:31, archived)
not really
I enjoy looking at those old Top Gears as a historical quirk, where the old scrap I tinker with was still brand new. But fuck knows who most of the presenters were.
(, Fri 23 Feb 2018, 10:35, archived)
yer, that's more like it
god, mm is so thick sometimes
(, Fri 23 Feb 2018, 10:32, archived)
As a mental image, this is most excellent.

(, Fri 23 Feb 2018, 9:37, archived)
closest I could find:
www.motoringbox.com/wp-content/uploads/2018/02/celebrity-face-off-.jpg.

It makes Dynamo look even more like Gollum than usual.
(, Fri 23 Feb 2018, 9:45, archived)
Very diplomatic of them to avoid the 'midgets v. giants' seating arrangement.

(, Fri 23 Feb 2018, 9:52, archived)
i saw him in a tesco metro once
he caught me looking at him from a few tills away and we did the nod of acknowledgement. i'd like to see him up close as i think he's a good 4+ inches taller than me
(, Fri 23 Feb 2018, 9:35, archived)
So that puts you at 6'3" or 6'4", which is in itself not shabby.

(, Fri 23 Feb 2018, 9:54, archived)
yeah i'm 6'3
gobbo (rip in peace) was about davies' height i think
(, Fri 23 Feb 2018, 10:05, archived)
I look at our 6'6" doorway and think 'that's high'
Giant Gonzales was 7'8". Imagine that.
(, Fri 23 Feb 2018, 10:07, archived)

Here he is standing next to Hulk Hogan.
(, Fri 23 Feb 2018, 10:12, archived)
I watched the debut of the Undertaker, and thought 'my god, he's a monster'
then he fought gonzales a couple of years later

wrestlerdeaths.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/09/giant-gonzales-undertaker-feud.jpg
(, Fri 23 Feb 2018, 10:16, archived)
That looks like someone's photoshopped a real face onto one of the things from Attack On Titan.
I'm struggling to believe my eyes.
(, Fri 23 Feb 2018, 10:44, archived)
kawaii as fuck

(, Fri 23 Feb 2018, 10:16, archived)
i honestly sort of can't
it's not a proper human height. doesn't help that he was only seen through the warped lens of wrestling
(, Fri 23 Feb 2018, 10:18, archived)
I know what you mean
I can't comprehend what a human that size would look like
(, Fri 23 Feb 2018, 10:19, archived)
Shame he had literally no wrestling skill, too
See also; Zeus. Vince likes big boys. *cough*
(, Fri 23 Feb 2018, 10:20, archived)
and the great khali
vince would be happier as a circus ringmaster, i reckon.
(, Fri 23 Feb 2018, 10:26, archived)
But then he'd never have made enough money to start up the XFL.

(, Fri 23 Feb 2018, 10:35, archived)
That sort of size partially cancels out the need for skill, though.
It's like Konishiki, whose technique for rising to the top in sumo was "be fatter than everybody else and just lean on them until they're too exhausted to fight".
(, Fri 23 Feb 2018, 10:34, archived)
There's no size that cancels out the need for skill
If anything, someone that big needs to be more careful, as they're more likely to hurt someone poimanent.
(, Fri 23 Feb 2018, 10:46, archived)
HIYA!!
Tired as fuck, puppy had me up from 5... Still, Friday innit.
(, Fri 23 Feb 2018, 9:30, archived)
is this more gay cant?

(, Fri 23 Feb 2018, 9:34, archived)

gay mexi
(, Fri 23 Feb 2018, 9:38, archived)
you're a fackin gay cant

(, Fri 23 Feb 2018, 9:42, archived)
put your claws back in, you flaming queen

(, Fri 23 Feb 2018, 10:29, archived)
NEVER!

(, Fri 23 Feb 2018, 10:43, archived)
Good morning
I got my hair cut
(, Fri 23 Feb 2018, 10:08, archived)
Which one?
Hahahahahaha!
(, Fri 23 Feb 2018, 10:10, archived)
is it still blue?

(, Fri 23 Feb 2018, 10:13, archived)
Yes

(, Fri 23 Feb 2018, 12:45, archived)
I'm at work super duper early
Morning
(, Fri 23 Feb 2018, 6:46, archived)
Do you get to leave
super duper early?
(, Fri 23 Feb 2018, 6:56, archived)
shit the bed?

(, Fri 23 Feb 2018, 7:09, archived)
Hey

(, Fri 23 Feb 2018, 7:27, archived)
morning

(, Fri 23 Feb 2018, 7:53, archived)
go you

(, Fri 23 Feb 2018, 8:02, archived)
Equal opportunities morning

(, Fri 23 Feb 2018, 8:07, archived)
yeah I was in before 8.30 this morning

(, Fri 23 Feb 2018, 8:40, archived)
Good evening, my brethren from other methren.

(, Thu 22 Feb 2018, 20:44, archived)

thren m
(, Thu 22 Feb 2018, 21:02, archived)
idgi

(, Thu 22 Feb 2018, 21:09, archived)
MEM
mem
(, Thu 22 Feb 2018, 21:16, archived)
oh 'mem', of course, how could I not recognise that great comedy catchphrase of our time?

(, Thu 22 Feb 2018, 21:20, archived)
comemdy

(, Thu 22 Feb 2018, 21:59, archived)
Hiya

(, Thu 22 Feb 2018, 21:22, archived)
alright dribble

(, Thu 22 Feb 2018, 21:28, archived)
$$

(, Thu 22 Feb 2018, 21:29, archived)
hi yeah good evening that's right

(, Thu 22 Feb 2018, 22:19, archived)
I just got most of my hair cut off
Because I was bored. Getting twatted on vodka now.
(, Thu 22 Feb 2018, 23:24, archived)
Alright 'not quite Vincent Van Gough'.

(, Thu 22 Feb 2018, 23:42, archived)
Alright 'last of the mohicans'.

(, Fri 23 Feb 2018, 0:19, archived)
I'm working late again

(, Thu 22 Feb 2018, 18:04, archived)
what a way to make a living

(, Thu 22 Feb 2018, 18:10, archived)
better than sucking cock down the dock
but not by much
(, Thu 22 Feb 2018, 18:18, archived)
Poor Otis

(, Thu 22 Feb 2018, 18:22, archived)
'member otis the aardvark?
anyone? no?
(, Thu 22 Feb 2018, 19:06, archived)
he could never step out of gordon's shadow

(, Thu 22 Feb 2018, 19:25, archived)
Schofield's 90s animal fisting shame

(, Thu 22 Feb 2018, 20:01, archived)
It was earlier than that, he's got form going way back

(, Thu 22 Feb 2018, 20:19, archived)
hello sailor!

(, Thu 22 Feb 2018, 18:25, archived)
That's it I'm going back to my mother's

(, Thu 22 Feb 2018, 18:28, archived)
don't be like that, you know I'm doing this for us

(, Thu 22 Feb 2018, 18:40, archived)
yeah I said I'd lock up today so it was 4.40ish by the time I left

(, Thu 22 Feb 2018, 18:46, archived)
poor, unfortunate soooooooullllls

(, Thu 22 Feb 2018, 18:51, archived)
shut up Ursula you chubby bint

(, Thu 22 Feb 2018, 18:59, archived)
Great. Disney themed earworm.

(, Thu 22 Feb 2018, 20:02, archived)
Any time someone says earworm I think wrath of khan :(

(, Thu 22 Feb 2018, 20:07, archived)
Bolshevism! Sheer Bolshevism!

(, Thu 22 Feb 2018, 19:32, archived)
But think of all the overtime pay, oh

(, Thu 22 Feb 2018, 20:18, archived)
ha, as if Poland had the concept of overtime pay

(, Thu 22 Feb 2018, 21:11, archived)
Bloody hard workers the poles, until they come over here and learn laziness

(, Thu 22 Feb 2018, 21:14, archived)
Small Down

(, Thu 22 Feb 2018, 13:23, archived)
How's your Thursday going, flebs?

(, Thu 22 Feb 2018, 13:24, archived)
Show us yer chebs

(, Thu 22 Feb 2018, 13:24, archived)
Watership Down, I always say.

(, Thu 22 Feb 2018, 13:31, archived)
The college fellows are striking over losing their final salary pension.
An awful lot of them are on the commitee that voted for every other college department to lose their final salary pension about a year ago. Might get a balaclava and some eggs.
(, Thu 22 Feb 2018, 13:44, archived)
Might get a baklava and some eggs

(, Thu 22 Feb 2018, 13:44, archived)
Talking of eggs, how are the square eggs coming along, any updates for the investors ?

(, Thu 22 Feb 2018, 13:47, archived)
It's going ok
but we're not due to go into profit until 2022. Baby steps.
(, Thu 22 Feb 2018, 13:59, archived)
The mission statement claimed square eggs in ever household by 2020, are you giving them out on credit?

(, Thu 22 Feb 2018, 14:01, archived)
We didn't predict the effect brexit was going to have on the square goods market

(, Thu 22 Feb 2018, 14:03, archived)
squeggsit I calls it

(, Thu 22 Feb 2018, 14:03, archived)
I squeggsit last night

(, Thu 22 Feb 2018, 14:04, archived)
I'm squeggsing as I type this

(, Thu 22 Feb 2018, 14:23, archived)
very pungent smell coming from you

(, Thu 22 Feb 2018, 14:42, archived)
Musk, m8
It's my natural scent
(, Thu 22 Feb 2018, 14:43, archived)
I'll have a coffee to go, plz

(, Thu 22 Feb 2018, 13:50, archived)
do it

(, Thu 22 Feb 2018, 13:49, archived)
Typical Leftie Tory Loons... Or something similar.

(, Thu 22 Feb 2018, 13:53, archived)
There's a wider lesson about the demise of unions, here.

(, Thu 22 Feb 2018, 13:55, archived)
Might get a balalaika and some eggs.

(, Thu 22 Feb 2018, 13:56, archived)
which one are you?
www.bbc.co.uk/news/education-43140726
(, Thu 22 Feb 2018, 14:12, archived)
Circled
i.imgur.com/nbkSxGT.png
(, Thu 22 Feb 2018, 14:22, archived)
They're proper scum most lecturers
Talk loads of bollocks about being liberal and all that, but won't speak to you at dinner.
(, Thu 22 Feb 2018, 14:25, archived)
yeah, but you chew with your mouth open, m8

(, Thu 22 Feb 2018, 14:33, archived)
hey

(, Thu 22 Feb 2018, 13:44, archived)
hi hun, how's you? xoxo

(, Thu 22 Feb 2018, 13:54, archived)
haha I'm gud bbz u? xo

(, Thu 22 Feb 2018, 14:00, archived)
haha YEAH!
Im great. Slow work day, but apart from that, no complaints.
(, Thu 22 Feb 2018, 14:09, archived)
what's all this about?

(, Thu 22 Feb 2018, 13:49, archived)
Alfie....

(, Thu 22 Feb 2018, 13:53, archived)
Just popped into a book shop and bought good omens for my daughter, I remember reading it and thought it was funny , that was about 30 years ago tho, but I saw the BBC are making a TV series of it ,

(, Thu 22 Feb 2018, 13:52, archived)
Never heard of her

(, Thu 22 Feb 2018, 13:54, archived)
My daughter's not famous

(, Thu 22 Feb 2018, 13:57, archived)
There was a decent enough radio adaptation.
Like all Pratchett books, it's best read as a teenager.
(, Thu 22 Feb 2018, 13:59, archived)
I read that recently, it's pretty good, I imagine the beeb will bungle it like they generally do with everything

(, Thu 22 Feb 2018, 13:59, archived)
Got a good cast I think

(, Thu 22 Feb 2018, 14:02, archived)
they'll fuck up the sex scene and make really cringy

(, Thu 22 Feb 2018, 14:02, archived)
Oh didn't remember any sex, I can't give my baby girl filth

(, Thu 22 Feb 2018, 14:05, archived)
it's really clumsy and awkward and only really hinted at
I can't imagine the awfulness of Pratchett writing actual smut.
(, Thu 22 Feb 2018, 14:08, archived)
Midget Scrum

(, Thu 22 Feb 2018, 13:56, archived)
Big up

(, Thu 22 Feb 2018, 10:10, archived)
prude boy

(, Thu 22 Feb 2018, 10:10, archived)
What's going?

(, Thu 22 Feb 2018, 10:11, archived)
It's chill, man.
I've been surfing the net all morning because I have no work to do and refuse to do nothing when I could be surfing the net instead.
(, Thu 22 Feb 2018, 10:16, archived)
alright love
The missus has had a text message saying that our order will be here between 11 and 1. Thing is, we don't know what it is. Surpise delivery!
(, Thu 22 Feb 2018, 10:14, archived)
I sent you a bouquet for the new house

(, Thu 22 Feb 2018, 10:24, archived)
x

(, Thu 22 Feb 2018, 10:27, archived)
I shat in a FedEx envelope for you

(, Thu 22 Feb 2018, 10:28, archived)
cheers

(, Thu 22 Feb 2018, 10:29, archived)
It's a baby.

(, Thu 22 Feb 2018, 10:30, archived)
It's a head

(, Thu 22 Feb 2018, 10:37, archived)
it's a picture of my willy

(, Thu 22 Feb 2018, 10:57, archived)
Up is one of the shittest pixar movies
past that cloying intro it's a load of bollocks
(, Thu 22 Feb 2018, 10:15, archived)
^ wears the cone of shame

(, Thu 22 Feb 2018, 10:20, archived)
Finding Nemo is the only pixar film that I've watched and not really enjoyed.
Maybe Cars, too, as I've seen the first half hour many, many times, and Owen Wilson is just too good at playing an utter dick.
(, Thu 22 Feb 2018, 10:22, archived)
I wasn't keen on brave, too much disney influence

(, Thu 22 Feb 2018, 10:25, archived)
The Princess not hooking up with a Prince was novel, for a Disney film.

(, Thu 22 Feb 2018, 10:27, archived)
it's you that hates albert brooks, right?
disclaimer: i didn't bother to check if that's the right name.
(, Thu 22 Feb 2018, 13:00, archived)
I don't remember it.

(, Thu 22 Feb 2018, 10:25, archived)
exactly, it's that awful
the house goes up, grumpy bloke and asian kid land in the cloudy hills of south america and befriend a rare bird that a geriatric hollywood actor is trying to capture with his army of talking dogs. Even Cloudy Meatballs with it's "genetically modified water" had a better plot.
(, Thu 22 Feb 2018, 10:28, archived)
But, there's a talking dog!
More than one, and one of them is voiced by Delroy Lindo!
(, Thu 22 Feb 2018, 10:42, archived)
i mean, you could make any film sound piss poor by just describing the plot with disdain

(, Thu 22 Feb 2018, 12:59, archived)
I've never seen past the first ten minutes.
I've also seen only the first instalment in the Toy Story franchise.
(, Thu 22 Feb 2018, 10:28, archived)
Look, don't go projecting on us just because you were outsmarted by a squirrel

(, Thu 22 Feb 2018, 10:36, archived)
I don't think I have ever watched a pixar film
aren't they all for children?
(, Thu 22 Feb 2018, 10:42, archived)
"Sorry, kids. I know all your friends are talking but that new film, but daddy believes that moving pictures are the work of the devil himself."

(, Thu 22 Feb 2018, 10:45, archived)
Wall:E was shit too

(, Thu 22 Feb 2018, 10:58, archived)
Oh, this has been covered... As you were.

(, Thu 22 Feb 2018, 11:00, archived)
*guffs and oinks*

(, Thu 22 Feb 2018, 10:40, archived)
Lovely

(, Thu 22 Feb 2018, 10:47, archived)
Lip up fatty, ah lip up fatty, for the reggae
know what I mean?
(, Thu 22 Feb 2018, 10:41, archived)
Bit racist

(, Thu 22 Feb 2018, 10:47, archived)
it's cultural appropriation, which is slightly less offensive

(, Thu 22 Feb 2018, 10:52, archived)
Actually I'm not sure I do.

(, Thu 22 Feb 2018, 11:12, archived)
It is one of a number of songs by Bad Manners about 'being fat', (a reference to the round figure of frontman, Buster Bloodvessel). According to Bloodvessel "Lip Up Fatty" was an expression used at his school "to tell people to shut up".

(, Thu 22 Feb 2018, 11:19, archived)
Just goes to show: you learn something every day.

(, Thu 22 Feb 2018, 11:21, archived)
thanks

(, Thu 22 Feb 2018, 10:58, archived)
Wow , proper odd
www.bbc.co.uk/news/stories-42951788
(, Thu 22 Feb 2018, 11:35, archived)
That is bananas alright.

(, Thu 22 Feb 2018, 11:58, archived)
She's clearly been replaced by a double.

(, Thu 22 Feb 2018, 12:05, archived)
not as odd as a
meet me at McDonalds haircut
(, Thu 22 Feb 2018, 12:10, archived)
Geek Pie irl

(, Thu 22 Feb 2018, 12:12, archived)
gt yarmouth is a fucking weird place

(, Thu 22 Feb 2018, 12:14, archived)
Used to be full of smack, dunno if it still is, hope so

(, Thu 22 Feb 2018, 12:19, archived)
yep

(, Thu 22 Feb 2018, 12:26, archived)
what the fuck is going on with that school logo?

(, Thu 22 Feb 2018, 12:22, archived)
herring is what gt yarmouth was famous for

(, Thu 22 Feb 2018, 12:25, archived)
until food started raining from the sky?

(, Thu 22 Feb 2018, 12:30, archived)

ring oin
(, Thu 22 Feb 2018, 12:38, archived)
I'd like to see you draw a better sealion.

(, Thu 22 Feb 2018, 12:31, archived)
lol wankel

(, Thu 22 Feb 2018, 12:09, archived)
Lolololollllooolol

(, Thu 22 Feb 2018, 12:36, archived)
morning

(, Thu 22 Feb 2018, 6:53, archived)
moar guns

(, Thu 22 Feb 2018, 7:00, archived)
If America wants to take the fast lane to its own self destruction
thats fine by me.
(, Thu 22 Feb 2018, 7:20, archived)
The madness will spread, as did their obesity and obsession with celebrity :(

(, Thu 22 Feb 2018, 7:26, archived)
I think we should be allowed guns in order to defend ourselves from any True Americans coming over here

(, Thu 22 Feb 2018, 7:30, archived)

www.theonion.com/capsizing-boat-passes-u-s-in-global-quality-of-life-ra-1823169227
(, Thu 22 Feb 2018, 7:37, archived)
not sure AR-15 rifles are as easy to export as Big Macs

(, Thu 22 Feb 2018, 7:33, archived)
It's alright we're taking back control at some point between 2019 and 2100, proper British assault rifles

(, Thu 22 Feb 2018, 7:37, archived)
IRA managed to get ar-18s

(, Thu 22 Feb 2018, 7:38, archived)
bit of a difference between a paramilitary organisation
and a disgruntled teen who doesn't like his old teacher.
(, Thu 22 Feb 2018, 7:39, archived)
Well Trump thinks arming the teachers will
sort the problem out so they should start with that. Then they can deal with the real issues. For example, Alex Jones discovered they're putting chemicals in the water that make the frogs gay and he doesn't like it.
(, Thu 22 Feb 2018, 8:24, archived)
Ooh la la , zut alors

(, Thu 22 Feb 2018, 8:34, archived)
I quite like the idea of gay frogs
I'd like one as a pet. Actually, probably best to get two. I imagine them to very sociable creatures.
(, Thu 22 Feb 2018, 8:38, archived)
I believe he's also concerned about the human-animal hybrids that scientists are working on
that are 80% gorilla and 80% pig
(, Thu 22 Feb 2018, 8:35, archived)
The only Alex Jones I care about is on the One Show

(, Thu 22 Feb 2018, 8:53, archived)
could have just said guns and cheeseburgers, man

(, Thu 22 Feb 2018, 8:44, archived)
but is a cheeseburger a cheeseburger if there's nothing to shoot it with?

(, Thu 22 Feb 2018, 8:50, archived)
Alright grrry,

(, Thu 22 Feb 2018, 7:20, archived)
alright m
sorted out your girl's gift yet?
(, Thu 22 Feb 2018, 7:32, archived)
Yeah , 15 today, seems like only yesterday she was born

(, Thu 22 Feb 2018, 7:36, archived)
yer, it's odd how long we've all been here and how people kids are nearly old enough to vote now
I expect Johnny Catfish's brood are all taxpayers now ffs
(, Thu 22 Feb 2018, 7:38, archived)
SHOOOW ME THE WAY TO GO HOME! I'M TIRED AND I WANT TO GO TO BED!

(, Thu 22 Feb 2018, 7:43, archived)
I've developed a desire for a new project that is destined to get out of hand
Stuffing a Jaguar V6 into an RX-8.
(, Thu 22 Feb 2018, 7:52, archived)
Rx8 is a wankel normally?
Should make packaging a bit of a laugh.
(, Thu 22 Feb 2018, 7:55, archived)
You'd be surprised
Long bonnet so there's more room than you'd think, and the Jag V6 is quite compact. Trouble is, it's either a custom propshaft or a custom flywheel job.
(, Thu 22 Feb 2018, 8:00, archived)
Gearbox will be alright is it?

(, Thu 22 Feb 2018, 9:55, archived)
good work

(, Thu 22 Feb 2018, 9:57, archived)
Hang on.

(, Thu 22 Feb 2018, 10:09, archived)
Yer, go on then.

(, Thu 22 Feb 2018, 8:03, archived)
good to have you on board

(, Thu 22 Feb 2018, 8:05, archived)
*shuffles papers before the meeting starts*
Snagged some half-price guinea fowl at the supermarket last night and fluked my way into cooking it to restaurant quality. I think that ranks among the highlights of my week so far.
(, Thu 22 Feb 2018, 8:14, archived)

l
+c
my way into cooking
to restaurant quality

(, Thu 22 Feb 2018, 8:16, archived)
Tasty bird, eh eh lads eh eh eh lads eh eh

(, Thu 22 Feb 2018, 8:17, archived)
cheers

(, Thu 22 Feb 2018, 8:25, archived)
bit early for drinking, innit?

(, Thu 22 Feb 2018, 8:28, archived)
Never too early, never too late

(, Thu 22 Feb 2018, 8:29, archived)
yup

(, Thu 22 Feb 2018, 8:45, archived)
super wicked smashing great

(, Thu 22 Feb 2018, 8:48, archived)
morning

(, Thu 22 Feb 2018, 8:45, archived)
oh hey, it's you!

(, Thu 22 Feb 2018, 8:48, archived)
it weren't me mister

(, Thu 22 Feb 2018, 9:00, archived)
in b4 tomorrow

(, Thu 22 Feb 2018, 8:46, archived)
alright the littlest hobo

(, Thu 22 Feb 2018, 8:49, archived)
In what way are YOU a fucking stupid fucking cunt?

(, Wed 21 Feb 2018, 13:23, archived)
Come on, Two Hats, there's no need to make this all about me.

(, Wed 21 Feb 2018, 13:25, archived)
just answer the damn question, dummy

(, Wed 21 Feb 2018, 13:25, archived)
Not sure I can answer it in words.
I'll use interpretive dance, instead:

















There.
(, Wed 21 Feb 2018, 13:43, archived)
haunting, m8, positively haunting

(, Wed 21 Feb 2018, 14:25, archived)

frinkiac.com/video/S09E19/s1QtNeFDIrdHHWbxn3xO8ElWjdk=.gif
(, Wed 21 Feb 2018, 13:44, archived)
lol, American Dad is a real hoot!

(, Wed 21 Feb 2018, 13:58, archived)

lol oh yeah
(, Wed 21 Feb 2018, 17:24, archived)
owl's about that then

(, Wed 21 Feb 2018, 17:28, archived)
It's because I was never loved as a child

(, Wed 21 Feb 2018, 13:29, archived)
*cut to footage of a young $$ listening to bob marley sing 'could you be loved' in a squalid bedroom*
*slow zoom in on his tear-streaked face as he whispers '... no'*
*fade to black*
(, Wed 21 Feb 2018, 13:35, archived)
*throws bafta*

(, Wed 21 Feb 2018, 13:39, archived)
hardly knew 'er

(, Wed 21 Feb 2018, 13:46, archived)
Fewer than 3

(, Wed 21 Feb 2018, 14:16, archived)
Every day, in every way, I'm getting fucking stupid fucking cuntier and fucking stupid fucking cuntier

(, Wed 21 Feb 2018, 13:29, archived)
ah, that'd look nice on a little needlepoint circle thingy

(, Wed 21 Feb 2018, 13:31, archived)
i'm more of a cunting stupid cunting fuck
ACTUALLY
(, Wed 21 Feb 2018, 13:30, archived)
maybe yours will catch on!

(, Wed 21 Feb 2018, 13:39, archived)
+fire

(, Wed 21 Feb 2018, 13:41, archived)
bit harsh mate

(, Wed 21 Feb 2018, 13:37, archived)
hump my stump to a bloody lump

(, Wed 21 Feb 2018, 13:39, archived)
i mean, really

(, Wed 21 Feb 2018, 13:41, archived)
yes, really

(, Wed 21 Feb 2018, 13:41, archived)
really really?

(, Wed 21 Feb 2018, 13:53, archived)
I've got to buy a new dishwasher
Well, I have got to, obviously. But the old one is dying.
(, Wed 21 Feb 2018, 13:54, archived)
I set the fucking stupid fucking cunt standard.

(, Wed 21 Feb 2018, 13:38, archived)
I'm so proud of you x

(, Wed 21 Feb 2018, 13:40, archived)
Thanks, mum.

(, Wed 21 Feb 2018, 13:48, archived)
I keep coming back to this place

(, Wed 21 Feb 2018, 13:40, archived)
yeah, why do you keep doing that?

(, Wed 21 Feb 2018, 13:40, archived)
I DON'T FUCKING KNOW, ALRIGHT?

(, Wed 21 Feb 2018, 13:46, archived)
i can help

(, Wed 21 Feb 2018, 14:06, archived)
nuh-uh, no way, not this time

(, Wed 21 Feb 2018, 14:15, archived)
Shut your fucking face, uncle-fuckerrrrrrrrrrr!
You're a boner-biting bastard, uncle-fuckerrrrrrrrrrr!

Lol like in South Park.
(, Wed 21 Feb 2018, 13:43, archived)
timely

(, Wed 21 Feb 2018, 13:46, archived)
RIP Billy Graham

(, Wed 21 Feb 2018, 13:57, archived)
Better him than Cinnamon Graham.

(, Wed 21 Feb 2018, 13:59, archived)
My mate Billy had a ten foot willy
there
(, Wed 21 Feb 2018, 14:03, archived)
he's a renowned sex pest

(, Wed 21 Feb 2018, 14:08, archived)
If mine was ten foot long, I'd never put it away

(, Wed 21 Feb 2018, 14:08, archived)
probably wouldn't be able to

(, Wed 21 Feb 2018, 14:09, archived)
not unless you had help from, say, the girl next door

(, Wed 21 Feb 2018, 14:16, archived)
Said interaction could certainly result in a reduction in its overall size, that's true

(, Wed 21 Feb 2018, 14:17, archived)
I'd move onto a house boat and let it float across the canal like a pool noodle

(, Wed 21 Feb 2018, 14:22, archived)
I'd paint a face on it and say it's you

(, Wed 21 Feb 2018, 14:26, archived)

accurate
(, Wed 21 Feb 2018, 14:33, archived)

there's only one billy graham,
ma8

(, Wed 21 Feb 2018, 14:28, archived)
Without him, there would've been no Hulk Hogan
take that however you want
(, Wed 21 Feb 2018, 14:31, archived)
thoughts and prayers
SEE? HOW D'YOU LIKE IT, YOU RELIGIOUS DEAD CUNT!?


sorry, i just don't like him.
(, Wed 21 Feb 2018, 15:33, archived)
oh come on, $$ isn't that bad

(, Wed 21 Feb 2018, 15:48, archived)
Cuntery is in the eye of the beholder.

(, Wed 21 Feb 2018, 14:09, archived)
Ah, that's true

(, Wed 21 Feb 2018, 14:09, archived)
I don't think that's fair
I may be a stupid fucking cunt, or possibly a fucking stupid cunt, but a fucking stupid fucking cunt? come on
(, Wed 21 Feb 2018, 14:09, archived)
I'm just covering all the bases

(, Wed 21 Feb 2018, 14:10, archived)
what are you covering them in?

(, Wed 21 Feb 2018, 17:09, archived)
there's a bottle of vodka on the windowledge
i didn't realise it was mine
(, Wed 21 Feb 2018, 14:17, archived)
I thought you lived alone

(, Wed 21 Feb 2018, 14:21, archived)
i do
but i'm currently at my parents' house. it's a gift from spain.
(, Wed 21 Feb 2018, 14:26, archived)
the people of spain are very benevolent, aren't they?

(, Wed 21 Feb 2018, 14:35, archived)
very much so

(, Wed 21 Feb 2018, 15:31, archived)
You have been visited by the vodka fairy.

(, Wed 21 Feb 2018, 14:22, archived)
tell that stupid bitch to get fucked

(, Wed 21 Feb 2018, 14:24, archived)
and i thought the vodka fairy was just a story to make us fuck off home at closing time!

(, Wed 21 Feb 2018, 14:32, archived)


bottle of vodka on the windowledge

guy works down the chip shop swears he's Elvis
(, Wed 21 Feb 2018, 14:37, archived)
i actually went to the chippy last week
first time i've bought takeaway food in years
(, Wed 21 Feb 2018, 15:32, archived)
WAS IT NOMMY?

(, Wed 21 Feb 2018, 15:49, archived)
it was ok
but it reminded me why i prefer to cook food myself
(, Wed 21 Feb 2018, 15:51, archived)
How long have you got?

(, Wed 21 Feb 2018, 14:19, archived)
17 minutes

(, Wed 21 Feb 2018, 14:20, archived)
Hahahaha yeah

(, Wed 21 Feb 2018, 14:53, archived)
I know, it's brilliant isn't it!

(, Wed 21 Feb 2018, 14:59, archived)
Been one hell of a day on /talk

(, Wed 21 Feb 2018, 15:19, archived)
you can say that again
and to think that some people think it's gone downhill
(, Wed 21 Feb 2018, 15:27, archived)
Totes.
Haven't had banter like this for a long time...thankfully.
(, Wed 21 Feb 2018, 15:27, archived)
The same way I've always been a fucking stupid fucking cunt, you'd think I'd know better by now, but that's exactly what makes me a fucking stupid fucking cunt

(, Wed 21 Feb 2018, 16:59, archived)
that's a lot of candles

(, Wed 21 Feb 2018, 17:04, archived)
Each and every one of them made from the distilled essence of wasted time

(, Wed 21 Feb 2018, 17:10, archived)
King of the candles in da house.

(, Wed 21 Feb 2018, 17:08, archived)
Candles mofs

(, Wed 21 Feb 2018, 17:36, archived)
Cheers, and belated happy birthday to you mongy

(, Wed 21 Feb 2018, 19:41, archived)
vegetable rights and peace

(, Wed 21 Feb 2018, 11:32, archived)
Rice and pea

(, Wed 21 Feb 2018, 11:33, archived)
She must have crab and fuckin' shrimp in her teeth

(, Wed 21 Feb 2018, 11:42, archived)
cher's lesser knowzzzzzz

(, Wed 21 Feb 2018, 11:42, archived)
Give piss a chance

(, Wed 21 Feb 2018, 11:43, archived)
That looked just like a negative reality inversion

(, Wed 21 Feb 2018, 11:44, archived)
so does ur face m8ate

(, Wed 21 Feb 2018, 11:46, archived)
yes it did a bit

(, Wed 21 Feb 2018, 11:50, archived)
there must be something in the water

(, Wed 21 Feb 2018, 11:49, archived)

don't drink the water
(, Wed 21 Feb 2018, 11:55, archived)
or go too near to it
youtu.be/Vb00H6mCTM8
(, Wed 21 Feb 2018, 11:57, archived)
Not clicking that since at work on limited data but I hope it has a black cloaked figure in it

(, Wed 21 Feb 2018, 12:02, archived)
I AM THE SPIRIT OF DARK AND LONELY WATER

(, Wed 21 Feb 2018, 12:04, archived)
He'll be BACK

(, Wed 21 Feb 2018, 12:06, archived)
^has no power over sensible children

(, Wed 21 Feb 2018, 12:07, archived)
Make an ad like that nowadays and the kids would be all about the drowning selfies with dog ears and noses and posting epic fail videos online or some shit

(, Wed 21 Feb 2018, 12:11, archived)
God I hate anyone younger than [arbitrary age at which I think people started acting like utter cunts]

(, Wed 21 Feb 2018, 12:22, archived)
young people stopped being funny 20 years ago

(, Wed 21 Feb 2018, 12:47, archived)
so true

(, Wed 21 Feb 2018, 13:03, archived)
poor little Ford Anglia at the 1minute mark

(, Wed 21 Feb 2018, 12:03, archived)
And I can hear it drowning
it's such an eerie fowning, darling
(, Wed 21 Feb 2018, 11:56, archived)
hydrogen and oxygen for starters

(, Wed 21 Feb 2018, 12:57, archived)
so you're telling me, that if I get a bit of hydrogen and a bit of oxygen, and mix them together in a cup
It'll turn into water? Sure. Right. Pull the other one, m8, it's got bells on.
(, Wed 21 Feb 2018, 13:03, archived)
disgusting

(, Wed 21 Feb 2018, 13:04, archived)
I know
Why can't we all just accept that GOD put everything here, and that's that!?
(, Wed 21 Feb 2018, 13:08, archived)
there ain't no other than my brother Jesus

(, Wed 21 Feb 2018, 13:10, archived)
He is love, m8
He is love!
(, Wed 21 Feb 2018, 13:16, archived)
swear down, bruv

(, Wed 21 Feb 2018, 13:29, archived)
terri schiavo to all

(, Wed 21 Feb 2018, 12:02, archived)
d'you reckon michael had one last go on her?

(, Wed 21 Feb 2018, 12:15, archived)
It would have been rude not to

(, Wed 21 Feb 2018, 12:17, archived)
Vegetable alt-rights

(, Wed 21 Feb 2018, 12:03, archived)
and white cabbage supremacy

(, Wed 21 Feb 2018, 12:05, archived)
^ tggi

(, Wed 21 Feb 2018, 13:33, archived)
RIIIIIIICE
and peas.


RIIIIIIIIIIIICE

and peas.

BOGLE BOGLE!
(, Wed 21 Feb 2018, 12:18, archived)
You daft racist

(, Wed 21 Feb 2018, 12:19, archived)
Not me, guv'nor.
It's that Trisha off Bo Selecta larging it up with Travis.
(, Wed 21 Feb 2018, 12:23, archived)
Millennium hand and shrimp.

(, Wed 21 Feb 2018, 12:35, archived)
rip lance henriksen

(, Wed 21 Feb 2018, 13:01, archived)
77 and still kicking.

(, Wed 21 Feb 2018, 13:05, archived)
bugrit

(, Wed 21 Feb 2018, 13:57, archived)
HAAAIIIIII-YA!
It's time for a bit of kung fu fighting on a Wednesday morning. Ever been in a proper fight, one that came to blows and all? Could you handle yourself in a fight? Or perhaps you're more of a Brave Sir Robin and a fan of tactical retreating.
(, Wed 21 Feb 2018, 9:54, archived)
I used to be quite punchy in the day.
Couple of counts of assault on the books for my idiocy.
(, Wed 21 Feb 2018, 9:59, archived)
My boss when I worked in direct sales was cheerfully casual about his fighty past.
His reply to the police when told that they were going to have to put him in jail for a week was "You can if you like, mate."
(, Wed 21 Feb 2018, 10:02, archived)
I'm going to choose "Things that definitely happened" for $200

(, Wed 21 Feb 2018, 10:04, archived)
Yeah, i don't tend to talk about fighting unless directly asked, I'm a bit ashamed of it to be honest.

(, Wed 21 Feb 2018, 10:05, archived)
Of course you are
because you're an adult.
(, Wed 21 Feb 2018, 10:05, archived)
I was never funny with the police when they turned up.

(, Wed 21 Feb 2018, 10:05, archived)
This might just be an impression,
but it seems to be that even some really trivial things can count as assault, i.e. you don't actually have to beat the stuffing out of someone for it. Under the legal definition, you can theoretically assault someone without even touching them.
(, Wed 21 Feb 2018, 10:13, archived)
yeah, Assault is different from Actual (or Grievous) Bodily Harm
it's like a copper's catch-all charge when you've been a prick
(, Wed 21 Feb 2018, 10:24, archived)
Its often given as trying to prove grievous or actual can be harder to prove, or at least people are more likely to fight it in court.
Where as most people I knew then just accepted an assault charge no argument as it wasn't/isn't seen as too serious
(, Wed 21 Feb 2018, 10:26, archived)
one schoolboy punchup at a pub once, that's about it
I don't think I've ever watched a kung fu film
(, Wed 21 Feb 2018, 10:01, archived)
Bruh...
How have you never seen any of Bruce Lee's work?
(, Wed 21 Feb 2018, 10:02, archived)
I've seen clips and they've not piqued my interest in the slightest

(, Wed 21 Feb 2018, 10:05, archived)
I will only fight people much smaller and weaker than me

(, Wed 21 Feb 2018, 10:11, archived)
As a vegan that must mean it's children and small woodland creatures only.

(, Wed 21 Feb 2018, 10:13, archived)
not going near any woodland creatures, they get bitey
but children, yes
although I am trying to avoid it with my eldest now he's 12
(, Wed 21 Feb 2018, 10:16, archived)
that's why I'm trying to break mine psychologically now
Two or three years from now, the oldest will be taller than me.
(, Wed 21 Feb 2018, 10:18, archived)
Would you fight Mini-Me?

(, Wed 21 Feb 2018, 10:16, archived)
this thread is terrible

(, Wed 21 Feb 2018, 10:22, archived)
Them's fighting words.

(, Wed 21 Feb 2018, 10:23, archived)
what is this, qotfw?

(, Wed 21 Feb 2018, 10:43, archived)
inorite

(, Wed 21 Feb 2018, 11:13, archived)
I find a well aimed guff deals with most situations

(, Wed 21 Feb 2018, 10:23, archived)
^ pygmy shrew

(, Wed 21 Feb 2018, 10:26, archived)
Everybody was kung fu farting.

(, Wed 21 Feb 2018, 10:27, archived)
those kids were clearly sharting

(, Wed 21 Feb 2018, 10:29, archived)
^pepe le pieu

(, Wed 21 Feb 2018, 10:27, archived)
I really don't want to hurt anyone
so, on the rare occasions that people have tried to start a fight with me, I've either ignored them and walked away, or taken a couple of hits and walked away.

This made sparring during karate lessons a ridiculous affair - I'm good a pulling my punches, but generally wouldn't throw any at all (especially not at women, but that never stopped them unleashing on me).
(, Wed 21 Feb 2018, 10:36, archived)
You could adopt the Batman approach
and throw your fist to within inches of someone's face before cutting to a large Roy Lichtenstein-style coloured background with "KA-POW!" in jagged lettering.
(, Wed 21 Feb 2018, 10:51, archived)
I always carry a can of Miscreant Repellent Spray™.

(, Wed 21 Feb 2018, 11:00, archived)
I'm a full on rapist

(, Wed 21 Feb 2018, 10:39, archived)
I reckon you could rape without fighting
Don't really want to think about it, though.
(, Wed 21 Feb 2018, 10:49, archived)
I'm a full..a full...a full-an... A philanthropist
It gets blocked up in my mouth, I don't say it no good, so...
(, Wed 21 Feb 2018, 10:51, archived)
Oh, in that case, you have to rape them.
That's how Oxfam do it, anyway.
(, Wed 21 Feb 2018, 10:57, archived)
Probably easier to fight someone without raping them though.

(, Wed 21 Feb 2018, 10:53, archived)
Makes an excellent finishing move, though.

(, Wed 21 Feb 2018, 10:58, archived)
You don't see that one too often in action films, for some reason.

(, Wed 21 Feb 2018, 10:59, archived)
"Your brother's ass is mine. You will be next!"
Mortal Kumbat
(, Wed 21 Feb 2018, 11:01, archived)
What's the best 90s house track to accompany a bumrape fatality?

(, Wed 21 Feb 2018, 11:03, archived)
Things Can Only Get Better

(, Wed 21 Feb 2018, 11:07, archived)
lol

(, Wed 21 Feb 2018, 11:09, archived)
This is more mcbeef's area of expertise.

(, Wed 21 Feb 2018, 11:11, archived)
Oops I Did it Again

(, Wed 21 Feb 2018, 11:21, archived)
Congrats on the appeal Worboys

(, Wed 21 Feb 2018, 10:58, archived)
cheers

(, Wed 21 Feb 2018, 11:01, archived)

ra +fa
(, Wed 21 Feb 2018, 11:01, archived)

f p

Bloody Catholics.
(, Wed 21 Feb 2018, 11:03, archived)
Ha!
I watched "The Devils" last night. Oliver Reed's great in it.
(, Wed 21 Feb 2018, 11:04, archived)
Remember when he sexually assaulted a grumpy woman on TV?
That was lol!
(, Wed 21 Feb 2018, 11:13, archived)
I don't believe I'm familiar with that particular episode.
Who was the grumpy woman in question?
(, Wed 21 Feb 2018, 11:25, archived)
Kate Millet, apparently.
Legendary episode of After Dark, it looks way more uncomfortable to modern sensibilities.
(, Wed 21 Feb 2018, 11:29, archived)
Not out of character for such a raging alkie though.

(, Wed 21 Feb 2018, 11:30, archived)
habemus poo-po

(, Wed 21 Feb 2018, 11:04, archived)
Parpum.

(, Wed 21 Feb 2018, 11:13, archived)
Only ever had one fight at school
which was the result of a long bullying campaign against me, until one day I had enough. Chased the perpetrator from one end of the school to the other and kicked fuck out of him.

Never got bullied again.

In adult life, Ive never been in a situation where I've had to fight.
I've separated a few in my bar work days.
I've moved people along if they've started on my mates, but never had a punch up.
Im a shover. lol
Off you fuck, and then fuck off some more.
(, Wed 21 Feb 2018, 10:51, archived)
Ever worked in any proper rough bars?
I've never seen a large-scale punch-up in a pub.
(, Wed 21 Feb 2018, 10:56, archived)
God yeah
When I say fights, Im talking with pool cues and snooker balls in socks.
I had to deal with 2 stabbings and one person who got thrown down a flight of stairs...
These were gay bars too!
(, Wed 21 Feb 2018, 11:12, archived)
You mean the limp-wristed stereotype isn't entirely accurate?

(, Wed 21 Feb 2018, 11:17, archived)
Depends on the poof.
Lesbians are worse though
(, Wed 21 Feb 2018, 11:21, archived)
Blimey.
How many times was it because two guys turned up in the same outfit?
(, Wed 21 Feb 2018, 11:27, archived)
I love a good fight

(, Wed 21 Feb 2018, 11:18, archived)
Pillow fights or mud wrestling?

(, Wed 21 Feb 2018, 11:23, archived)
Girls don't really do that
Seriously, women can be much worse than men when it comes to fighting
(, Wed 21 Feb 2018, 11:25, archived)
I think this is the real reason women were kept away from front line military roles.

(, Wed 21 Feb 2018, 11:32, archived)
It's because the less scrupulous women resort to tears

(, Wed 21 Feb 2018, 11:46, archived)
No fighting.
Get a bit shouty. Job done.
(, Wed 21 Feb 2018, 11:29, archived)
morning

(, Wed 21 Feb 2018, 7:09, archived)
morning grrry ,

(, Wed 21 Feb 2018, 7:13, archived)
feeling better?

(, Wed 21 Feb 2018, 7:31, archived)
Yeah , just a cold, got to get my daughter's birthday present and card sorted today

(, Wed 21 Feb 2018, 7:37, archived)
stick a ton in the card, job done
or is she still of an age that expects proper wrapped-up presents?
(, Wed 21 Feb 2018, 7:45, archived)
Everyone likes presents

(, Wed 21 Feb 2018, 7:57, archived)
yer, but I'd rather have cash than a present I don't really want

(, Wed 21 Feb 2018, 7:58, archived)
I know how to excite and please a teenage girl mate

(, Wed 21 Feb 2018, 8:19, archived)


(, Wed 21 Feb 2018, 8:29, archived)
except time travellers

(, Wed 21 Feb 2018, 9:54, archived)
postage on something that weighs a ton would be astronomical

(, Wed 21 Feb 2018, 9:39, archived)

 
(, Wed 21 Feb 2018, 9:44, archived)
around 40 quid

(, Wed 21 Feb 2018, 9:47, archived)
not if it's a ton of feathers, genius

(, Wed 21 Feb 2018, 9:48, archived)
why would he post a birthday card to his own daughter?
THINK, manolith, THINK
(, Wed 21 Feb 2018, 9:53, archived)
i didn't realise they both lived in his car

(, Wed 21 Feb 2018, 9:55, archived)
hi

(, Wed 21 Feb 2018, 7:19, archived)
alright drimble

(, Wed 21 Feb 2018, 7:31, archived)
good ta, you

(, Wed 21 Feb 2018, 7:41, archived)
things are on the up
except the mercury, my willy is all shrivelled
(, Wed 21 Feb 2018, 8:15, archived)
Norning

(, Wed 21 Feb 2018, 7:50, archived)
That was supposed to say morning, not trying to be waki just had fuck all sleep for a very long time

(, Wed 21 Feb 2018, 7:51, archived)
your second kid isn't even here yet, stop being a wimp

(, Wed 21 Feb 2018, 7:51, archived)
Oh but it is.

(, Wed 21 Feb 2018, 7:54, archived)
What type? Not another split arse

(, Wed 21 Feb 2018, 7:58, archived)
I now have 2 daughters. Fortunately only one of them is old enough to say that she doesn't like me.

(, Wed 21 Feb 2018, 8:00, archived)
Best get saving for the weddings now

(, Wed 21 Feb 2018, 8:18, archived)
keep trying, you might get a male heir eventually

(, Wed 21 Feb 2018, 8:48, archived)
Might give it a few more years, hopefully the technology will have advanced so that I can choose what it looks like and what stuff it will be interested in when it's older.

(, Wed 21 Feb 2018, 9:02, archived)
hopefully they'll be able to take a genetic sample from the father
and code it to be the complete opposite.
(, Wed 21 Feb 2018, 9:06, archived)
you're a braver man than I

(, Wed 21 Feb 2018, 7:59, archived)
Think I must have been drunk when I agreed to this

(, Wed 21 Feb 2018, 8:04, archived)
booze or serious brain trauma is the only way I'd agree to having another

(, Wed 21 Feb 2018, 8:07, archived)
the second one is a doddle

(, Wed 21 Feb 2018, 8:48, archived)
yes but the first one has now become a nightmare.
Ever since she realised she will no longer be getting all the attention she has been screaming at us to send the baby back.
(, Wed 21 Feb 2018, 8:54, archived)
a budding brexiteer

(, Wed 21 Feb 2018, 8:57, archived)
are they self-financing or something?

(, Wed 21 Feb 2018, 8:55, archived)
pretty much
they live on tit milk, and my missus had a generous maternity package and was too busy being milked to spend any of it, so I assume this is the same for everyone
(, Wed 21 Feb 2018, 9:11, archived)
they don't live on breast milk for 18 years though
and the nursery for one costs nearly half my wife's salary. Two would make employment pretty much pointless for her.
(, Wed 21 Feb 2018, 9:14, archived)
tell her to get a better job
or open a nursery, two birds with one stone there
(, Wed 21 Feb 2018, 9:16, archived)
I have the upmost respect for the ladies at the daycare
dealing with 16-20 anklebiters 5 days a week sounds like a circle of Dante's hell.
(, Wed 21 Feb 2018, 9:18, archived)
Serious brain trauma is a doddle?

(, Wed 21 Feb 2018, 9:56, archived)

frinkiac.com/video/S04E18/UO7hYt4FPR197vM7HCCMJnfsfdA=.gif
(, Wed 21 Feb 2018, 10:08, archived)
good work
don't let the missus try to claim all the credit
(, Wed 21 Feb 2018, 8:47, archived)
She's claiming all the maternity leave so I just get a lousy sleep-deprived fortnight again.
This is exactly why women shouldn't get equal pay.
(, Wed 21 Feb 2018, 9:07, archived)
lazy cow
you don't have to take your paternity leave straight away, save it until the kid sleeps through and you can get some proper rest
(, Wed 21 Feb 2018, 9:12, archived)
How lovely!
Congrats!
(, Wed 21 Feb 2018, 9:24, archived)
what?!
but if you're here, then who's... uh-oh!
(, Wed 21 Feb 2018, 9:49, archived)
Kiss your life, money and sanity goodbye.

(, Wed 21 Feb 2018, 9:49, archived)
fate is what you make of it m8

(, Wed 21 Feb 2018, 7:51, archived)
TH!

(, Wed 21 Feb 2018, 8:09, archived)
alright Hannibal Lecter

(, Wed 21 Feb 2018, 8:13, archived)
Good morning.
Ideally I would like to be able to muster some enthusiasm about today but am unable to do so at the present time.
(, Wed 21 Feb 2018, 8:14, archived)
think of a nice pair of tits m8
that should help
(, Wed 21 Feb 2018, 8:16, archived)
It's true that you can rarely go wrong with a nice pair of tits.

(, Wed 21 Feb 2018, 8:32, archived)
are you still working your notice?
I don't think anyone expects any sort of enthusiasm from you by this point
(, Wed 21 Feb 2018, 8:50, archived)
Today's the first day of my last week here, so yeah.
On the other hand I gave up pretending to care about this job months ago and nobody even noticed.
(, Wed 21 Feb 2018, 9:07, archived)
We are always more anxious to be distinguished for a talent which we do not possess, than to be praised for the fifteen which we do possess.

(, Wed 21 Feb 2018, 8:36, archived)
bullshit have you got 15 talents

(, Wed 21 Feb 2018, 8:42, archived)
$$ is our very own William G. Stewart.

(, Wed 21 Feb 2018, 8:49, archived)
alright

(, Wed 21 Feb 2018, 8:45, archived)
phew, thank god you're here

(, Wed 21 Feb 2018, 8:55, archived)
it was touch and go for a while there

(, Wed 21 Feb 2018, 9:08, archived)
yo

(, Wed 21 Feb 2018, 8:57, archived)
hi

(, Wed 21 Feb 2018, 9:03, archived)
now the gang's all here!

(, Wed 21 Feb 2018, 9:06, archived)
Hello

(, Wed 21 Feb 2018, 9:09, archived)
woah, a suprise entry from BS
watchoo up to?
(, Wed 21 Feb 2018, 9:15, archived)
Hello lovely
I'm presently making a cup of tea and waiting for work to start. It's bullshit. How are you?
(, Wed 21 Feb 2018, 9:22, archived)
ticking along
family had loads of health issues, but the shitness was offset by a payrise and a promotion, so it works out alright.
(, Wed 21 Feb 2018, 9:24, archived)
Because it's nearly my birthday, I got an email from Pizza Express
and they gave me a code for four free bottles of beer.
(, Wed 21 Feb 2018, 9:11, archived)
the catch is you have to go and eat there to claim them
also, I think it's only peroni
(, Wed 21 Feb 2018, 9:14, archived)
alright 'roy orbison'

(, Wed 21 Feb 2018, 9:14, archived)
meh, their pizza is ok
and not too badly priced
(, Wed 21 Feb 2018, 9:17, archived)
that's more than you deserve

(, Wed 21 Feb 2018, 9:16, archived)
well no one's disputing that

(, Wed 21 Feb 2018, 9:18, archived)

beer premium jenkem
(, Wed 21 Feb 2018, 9:17, archived)
only at selected branches though

(, Wed 21 Feb 2018, 9:18, archived)
here's my branch
*points at crotch*
(, Wed 21 Feb 2018, 9:21, archived)
please don't laugh
I need this
(, Wed 21 Feb 2018, 9:22, archived)
hey
I think it's beautiful
(, Wed 21 Feb 2018, 9:22, archived)
I think this morning thread has gone alright

(, Wed 21 Feb 2018, 9:36, archived)
save it for your appraisal at the end of the month

(, Wed 21 Feb 2018, 9:39, archived)
I don't have those
my actual boss has only replied to one email I sent him in the three years I've worked here, and that's to tell me he approves my promotion.
(, Wed 21 Feb 2018, 9:40, archived)
I meant your b3ta appraisal

(, Wed 21 Feb 2018, 9:42, archived)
oh shit, I forgot to prepare

(, Wed 21 Feb 2018, 9:54, archived)
FUCK YEAH WEDNESDAY

(, Wed 21 Feb 2018, 9:38, archived)
FUCK YEAH BROADSWORD

(, Wed 21 Feb 2018, 9:41, archived)
Am I too late?

(, Wed 21 Feb 2018, 9:51, archived)
you could never be too late x

(, Wed 21 Feb 2018, 9:52, archived)
I've just added commuting on the bike to the insurance and it's only 20 quid more a year.
I've been doing it even without the insurance for fear of the cost, but a close call this morning has made me do it. I'm a spiv
(, Wed 21 Feb 2018, 9:58, archived)
good lad

(, Wed 21 Feb 2018, 10:00, archived)
to be aborted? no

(, Wed 21 Feb 2018, 9:59, archived)

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