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morning

(, Wed 28 Feb 2018, 7:21, archived)
Deep and crisp and even
MORNING
(, Wed 28 Feb 2018, 7:30, archived)
now I want a pizza

(, Wed 28 Feb 2018, 7:33, archived)

www.bbc.co.uk/food/recipes/breakfast_pizza_68739
(, Wed 28 Feb 2018, 7:37, archived)
what's the vegan option

(, Wed 28 Feb 2018, 7:40, archived)

www.youtube.com/watch?v=0MpL1KfYEJg
(, Wed 28 Feb 2018, 7:51, archived)
cauliflower and misery.

(, Wed 28 Feb 2018, 7:52, archived)
Above is cucumber pizza
(I have tried cauliflower pizza as part of a low-carb week - it was odd and not like pizza in any way whatsoever, but the chirizo and mozzarella on top were nice)
(, Wed 28 Feb 2018, 7:57, archived)
that is a terrible idea
as bad as the 'breakfast burrito'

Just no.
(, Wed 28 Feb 2018, 8:25, archived)
I have never seen anything by The Hairy Bikers
that is good, or right, or proper.
(, Wed 28 Feb 2018, 8:26, archived)
Their vindaloo is superb, I promise you

(, Wed 28 Feb 2018, 8:33, archived)
Too much beard hair for my liking.

(, Wed 28 Feb 2018, 8:44, archived)
I don't think you're supposed to put beard hair in the vindaloo.

(, Wed 28 Feb 2018, 8:55, archived)
yeah it's more of a garnish

(, Wed 28 Feb 2018, 9:11, archived)

rni
(, Wed 28 Feb 2018, 9:16, archived)
Their beef pinwheels aren't bad either

(, Wed 28 Feb 2018, 9:35, archived)
Eggs, beans and salsa in a wrap is a good breakfast.
Not strictly a burrito, but you wouldn't want an actual burrito for breakfast.
(, Wed 28 Feb 2018, 9:43, archived)
There's something inherently wrong to me about eating wraps at breakfast
The waxy bread just isn't right
(, Wed 28 Feb 2018, 10:28, archived)
Each to their own.
I can see waxy wraps being off-putting.

Huevos Rancheros is good, too. Can't remember if that uses corn tortillas instead of wheat.
(, Wed 28 Feb 2018, 10:36, archived)
Stops the Ching sticking to the paper tho

(, Wed 28 Feb 2018, 10:37, archived)
I love a wrap for breakfast, sets me up for a day on the piss

(, Wed 28 Feb 2018, 10:38, archived)
Heh

(, Wed 28 Feb 2018, 10:44, archived)
I can't pretend to understand either of your comments on this matter.

(, Wed 28 Feb 2018, 10:52, archived)
alright

(, Wed 28 Feb 2018, 7:37, archived)
morning mongy
blaze it last night?
(, Wed 28 Feb 2018, 7:38, archived)
I don't really smoke like that, I just chill

(, Wed 28 Feb 2018, 7:47, archived)
morning

(, Wed 28 Feb 2018, 7:55, archived)
alright Rich

(, Wed 28 Feb 2018, 7:56, archived)
I'm well on the way to getting my Italian citizenship now
It's taken the consulate 9 months to scan and send our marriage certificate and email it to the local admin offices in Verona. At this rate I'll have an Italian passport within 5 years, hurrah!
(, Wed 28 Feb 2018, 7:59, archived)
That's nice to hear
I'm still in a quandary about applying for Polish docs, because it's convenient being outside of the system sometimes. We'll just have to see what the post-Brexit situation is.
(, Wed 28 Feb 2018, 8:02, archived)
Christ don't start the remoaners off again

(, Wed 28 Feb 2018, 8:09, archived)
it's the whinge that never gets old

(, Wed 28 Feb 2018, 8:11, archived)
Only the whinger.

(, Wed 28 Feb 2018, 8:13, archived)
Great you've started early morning euro chat , I'm going back to bed

(, Wed 28 Feb 2018, 8:41, archived)
I'm moving it on to Berlusconi now - that should be fun!

(, Wed 28 Feb 2018, 8:45, archived)
smoke some green, it'll help you chill

(, Wed 28 Feb 2018, 8:48, archived)
Shall we talk mobile phone tariffs, we've got foood and the EU in this marvelous thread already, or perhaps music, that gets it going

(, Wed 28 Feb 2018, 9:55, archived)
I just changed my phone plan, as it happens

(, Wed 28 Feb 2018, 10:00, archived)
I'm just waiting for todays commuter chat

(, Wed 28 Feb 2018, 10:01, archived)
Hey what's your favourite bus route? I enjoy the 89

(, Wed 28 Feb 2018, 10:05, archived)
I'm more of a 281 kinda guy

(, Wed 28 Feb 2018, 10:11, archived)
Very picturesque I'll agree

(, Wed 28 Feb 2018, 10:13, archived)
more of a 93

(, Wed 28 Feb 2018, 10:16, archived)
Blimey, bit left field for me

(, Wed 28 Feb 2018, 10:28, archived)
153 4 lyf
Isle of Dogs to Old Street, niggahhh
(, Wed 28 Feb 2018, 10:29, archived)
Typical Millwall thug

(, Wed 28 Feb 2018, 10:31, archived)
my kid is minutes from their ground, I didn't realise

(, Wed 28 Feb 2018, 10:32, archived)
that's a shame

(, Wed 28 Feb 2018, 10:34, archived)
105 for life
my house direct to the President's crib yo
(, Wed 28 Feb 2018, 10:39, archived)
91 to Crouch End

(, Wed 28 Feb 2018, 10:42, archived)
Might try a new cheeseburger recipe tomorrow.

(, Wed 28 Feb 2018, 10:04, archived)
might buy some shoes

(, Wed 28 Feb 2018, 10:05, archived)
Get ones that fit, I made the mistake of buying some that didn't fit once, nightmare

(, Wed 28 Feb 2018, 10:14, archived)
I did that too, bought some online, never again

(, Wed 28 Feb 2018, 10:16, archived)
I qualify for dual Canadian citizenship
My sister did it ages ago and I got the paperwork but it was about 40 pages of stuff I didn't know, so I didn't bother. With legal weed coming next year, however...
(, Wed 28 Feb 2018, 8:24, archived)
Yup. This isn't about moaning or remoaning or whatever.
I'm not bothered any about what the UK does. I'm doing something positive about it for myself. I don't give a flying monkey-shit about the rest of the country.

Sonno is going to be Italiano for the purposes of travel.
(, Wed 28 Feb 2018, 8:30, archived)
This wasn't my position previously but now it is.
When I thought I needed French citizenship to stay in the country, I would have argued that "doing something positive for myself" was the other side of the coin of avoiding a major handicap imposed on me by the Brexiteers. Now that I know I don't need it, it's become a pure positive in that it's going to give me the right to vote.
(, Wed 28 Feb 2018, 8:34, archived)
Not being able to vote is the only thing I can't do over here
which has never bothered me since it wouldn't change the course of the country in the slightest anyway
(, Wed 28 Feb 2018, 8:38, archived)
Other half just got his Italian voting slip
bloody hell - if you ever despair of your/our politicians take a look at what they've got over there. Fuckmesideways - you'd not trust them to shit straight down a toilet bowl.
(, Wed 28 Feb 2018, 8:44, archived)
m8, Poland's being investigated at the highest levels of the EU for dissolving the independence of the judiciary
Italians ain't got nothing on us.
(, Wed 28 Feb 2018, 8:48, archived)
I don't know, maybe, mabye not
have you read about the 'Nghandreta? The Italian crime syndicates own their judiciary. en.wikipedia.org/wiki/%27Ndrangheta

This would be an entertaining and informative competition!
(, Wed 28 Feb 2018, 8:54, archived)
Have you seen 'Gomorra'?
Caught that one at the cinema when it came out over here, and rather enjoyed it.
(, Wed 28 Feb 2018, 8:59, archived)
I was going to watch it, but then I thought 'sod 'em'

(, Wed 28 Feb 2018, 9:10, archived)
*head bangs on desk*

(, Wed 28 Feb 2018, 9:12, archived)
no m8
just no
(, Wed 28 Feb 2018, 9:18, archived)
ba-dum tssssshhhh!

(, Wed 28 Feb 2018, 9:25, archived)
Hooray!

(, Wed 28 Feb 2018, 10:07, archived)
lol

(, Wed 28 Feb 2018, 10:37, archived)
Makes good sense

(, Wed 28 Feb 2018, 8:34, archived)
Even if it doesn't, who wouldn't want two passports!!!
I can go all Bourne Identity every time I go on holiday...
(, Wed 28 Feb 2018, 8:54, archived)
If I got Canadian sorted then we'd have Australian, Canadian and UK options
Nice to have
(, Wed 28 Feb 2018, 9:36, archived)
Are they all cool with your having multiple citizneships?
I know the UK is, so's Italy and Brazil but the US doesn't like sharing.
(, Wed 28 Feb 2018, 9:50, archived)
Yep, no issues I know of
US make you renounce your previous citizenship in some cases, I think
(, Wed 28 Feb 2018, 10:31, archived)
Ah, feck it.
Last night wasn't when I was supposed to get bollixed; tonight's when I'm supposed to get bollixed.

Morning and whatnot and stuff.
(, Wed 28 Feb 2018, 8:08, archived)
you seem to have been on many shoes recently m8

(, Wed 28 Feb 2018, 8:11, archived)
You may be right.
A friend came back from Paris last night and said "Let's go out for a drink", so we did. Then, during the course of said drink, she said "You are planning something for your last day tomorrow, aren't you?", which I wasn't particularly, but I'm seeing if I can round up some people.
(, Wed 28 Feb 2018, 8:19, archived)
What you planing for your last day, a lynching?

(, Wed 28 Feb 2018, 8:46, archived)
Ha, normal work colleagues would organise a restaurant or a drink for someone's last day.
I know my bosses have organised sod-all and that suits me just fine. I've tentatively suggested to my friends that we go out for a drink but I'll be delighted if everyone says no, because it's freezing cold and I'm pretty knackered. We will see.
(, Wed 28 Feb 2018, 8:50, archived)

-all omy
(, Wed 28 Feb 2018, 9:24, archived)
If my reasonably attractive female boss said to me this afternoon,
"Go on, it's your last day: you can shag me up the arse", that would go a long way towards making up for the previous year's piss-taking.
(, Wed 28 Feb 2018, 9:28, archived)
word up, bishes

(, Wed 28 Feb 2018, 8:22, archived)
holla at yer doller

(, Wed 28 Feb 2018, 8:26, archived)
Hello

(, Wed 28 Feb 2018, 8:50, archived)
bit late today, you slacking off?

(, Wed 28 Feb 2018, 8:52, archived)
Yes

(, Wed 28 Feb 2018, 9:41, archived)
alright
cold today
(, Wed 28 Feb 2018, 9:01, archived)
I've heard it's a bit nippy

(, Wed 28 Feb 2018, 9:04, archived)
All Wednesday posse and crew, the future is in front of you

(, Wed 28 Feb 2018, 9:34, archived)
also, bottom

(, Wed 28 Feb 2018, 9:34, archived)
Front bottom?

(, Wed 28 Feb 2018, 9:39, archived)
Nearly bottom

(, Wed 28 Feb 2018, 9:45, archived)

near crink
(, Wed 28 Feb 2018, 9:46, archived)
I'm facing backwards m8

(, Wed 28 Feb 2018, 9:50, archived)
Morning

(, Wed 28 Feb 2018, 9:37, archived)
SM2: Wednesday Boogaloo

(, Wed 28 Feb 2018, 9:51, archived)
Good morning all

(, Wed 28 Feb 2018, 9:45, archived)
which banned stalwart are you then?

(, Wed 28 Feb 2018, 9:53, archived)
Could just be a genuine new member of our vibrant community
oh hahaha
(, Wed 28 Feb 2018, 9:57, archived)
we need some fresh blood to keep the place going

(, Wed 28 Feb 2018, 10:01, archived)

OK
(, Wed 28 Feb 2018, 11:08, archived)
fuck off

(, Wed 28 Feb 2018, 11:28, archived)
Hi JD
What's your favourite bus route, you can't say the 214
(, Wed 28 Feb 2018, 10:31, archived)
dubs

(, Wed 28 Feb 2018, 9:49, archived)
back for seconds?
bit greedy
(, Wed 28 Feb 2018, 9:53, archived)
Morning, I suppose.

(, Wed 28 Feb 2018, 10:17, archived)
it sort of is, isn't it

(, Wed 28 Feb 2018, 10:25, archived)
bumholes

(, Wed 28 Feb 2018, 1:11, archived)
bare bumholes mem

(, Wed 28 Feb 2018, 2:26, archived)
I just got delivered some weed, lad rung me, said, oh he's outside in some old Suzuki thing, went outdide and the bloke must have been over 60, hope the old fellas getting paid, I tipped a fiver , do you tip?

(, Tue 27 Feb 2018, 20:17, archived)
Only if you push me hard enough.

(, Tue 27 Feb 2018, 20:29, archived)
only my fedora

(, Tue 27 Feb 2018, 20:31, archived)
alright, "Michael Jackson"

(, Tue 27 Feb 2018, 21:31, archived)
Ram the whole thing in

(, Tue 27 Feb 2018, 20:34, archived)
Woah black betty

(, Tue 27 Feb 2018, 23:41, archived)
Penis joke

(, Tue 27 Feb 2018, 20:43, archived)
m'lady

(, Tue 27 Feb 2018, 20:46, archived)
parker was a dirty old bollocks alright

(, Tue 27 Feb 2018, 21:01, archived)
indentured slave to that blonde sort
I bet when he had to travel for business he looked up the nearest brass house
(, Tue 27 Feb 2018, 21:15, archived)
Ur a penis joke m8 lol

(, Tue 27 Feb 2018, 20:53, archived)
He fucken is lol

(, Tue 27 Feb 2018, 22:07, archived)
Never tipped a dealer in my life

(, Tue 27 Feb 2018, 21:18, archived)
Tbf I was surprised at the odd 45 for 3 bag price , if I'd known he'd have got fuck all

(, Tue 27 Feb 2018, 21:41, archived)
I would if I got delivery but seeing as I have to risk my life hanging round a Bethnal estate to collect, fuck that

(, Tue 27 Feb 2018, 22:06, archived)
Hopefully this lad with the solid is back soon, went Asia or saink

(, Tue 27 Feb 2018, 22:26, archived)
It seems I'm going to shit on a penguin this year
want to watch?
(, Tue 27 Feb 2018, 16:04, archived)
God I'm bored

(, Tue 27 Feb 2018, 16:05, archived)
i'm so bored that i might go out and get an hdmi cable

(, Tue 27 Feb 2018, 16:40, archived)
wow that *is* bored

(, Tue 27 Feb 2018, 16:40, archived)
I didn't realise that incredibly boring people could get bored

(, Tue 27 Feb 2018, 17:05, archived)
joke's on you then ent it
i got my hdmi cable from asda. get this:

Most prominent hdmi cable: 15
2nd: 20
Round the corner and on the bottom shelf hidden behind shit: 4 (i got this one)

i also got some cat food (whiskas jelly poultry and gravy poultry = 6), a 2L bottle of fizzy water (17p) and a loaf of fancy bread (75p).

i'm going to have quite the evening in, i'll report back later.
(, Tue 27 Feb 2018, 18:20, archived)

tl;dr
MMMMNNNGGGGGHHHHHHHnnnnnhhhggggggggggmmmmmmmmmm
(, Tue 27 Feb 2018, 18:56, archived)
i bet you did read it though

(, Tue 27 Feb 2018, 19:08, archived)

and on the bottom shelf hidden behind shit: 4 (i got this one)

i also got some cat food (whiskas jelly poultry and gravy poultry = 6), a 2L bottle of fizzy water (17p) and a loaf of fancy bread (75p).

i'm going to have quite the evening in, i'll report back later.
chocolate's made lol
(, Tue 27 Feb 2018, 22:09, archived)
'Homosexual Dick Meatus Insertion'

(, Tue 27 Feb 2018, 20:52, archived)
I don't ever remember God having that as a weekly image challenge

(, Tue 27 Feb 2018, 17:59, archived)
black, white and brown all over.

(, Tue 27 Feb 2018, 16:06, archived)
might pop by for the opening five minutes

(, Tue 27 Feb 2018, 16:10, archived)
but the end bit's the best!

(, Tue 27 Feb 2018, 16:41, archived)
extra points for curling it into a perfect coif on the penguin's head

(, Tue 27 Feb 2018, 16:18, archived)
easy

(, Tue 27 Feb 2018, 16:41, archived)
coif? mem

(, Tue 27 Feb 2018, 18:31, archived)
well mem

(, Tue 27 Feb 2018, 18:34, archived)
I ain't watching shit, m8

(, Tue 27 Feb 2018, 16:30, archived)
yeah? well watch *THIS*
*shits*
(, Tue 27 Feb 2018, 16:41, archived)
Disgusting
Do you kiss your mother with that arse?
(, Tue 27 Feb 2018, 16:47, archived)
yep

(, Tue 27 Feb 2018, 16:58, archived)
Tell your missus they are superior to timtams, it'll kick right off

(, Tue 27 Feb 2018, 16:31, archived)
Her mum brought some of those over, I couldn't see what the fuss was about tbh

(, Tue 27 Feb 2018, 16:42, archived)
They have no heritage, so they latch on to foood

(, Tue 27 Feb 2018, 17:04, archived)
they'll always have Smoko

(, Tue 27 Feb 2018, 17:14, archived)
Can I film it?

(, Tue 27 Feb 2018, 17:33, archived)
Yes you can

(, Tue 27 Feb 2018, 17:36, archived)
Thank you Erin Le.

(, Tue 27 Feb 2018, 17:51, archived)
I'm afraid Miramax have bought the exclusive rights
You can do court-style drawings if you like - 50
(, Tue 27 Feb 2018, 17:55, archived)
holy fuck!
cheers
(, Tue 27 Feb 2018, 18:02, archived)
alright jammy d

(, Tue 27 Feb 2018, 18:30, archived)
I was told that penguins shit is red in colour and stinks really bad.
Is that true?
(, Tue 27 Feb 2018, 18:12, archived)
No.

(, Tue 27 Feb 2018, 18:39, archived)
The penguins up at Whipsnade used to be sponsored by McVities.
Not anymore, though.
(, Tue 27 Feb 2018, 18:58, archived)
health and safety gone mad

(, Tue 27 Feb 2018, 19:09, archived)
You couldn't make it up!

(, Tue 27 Feb 2018, 19:28, archived)
It seems I'm going to Croatia this year
Got any holidays planned?
(, Tue 27 Feb 2018, 13:18, archived)
Yes

(, Tue 27 Feb 2018, 13:21, archived)
is that still on?
thought you were getting cold feet
(, Tue 27 Feb 2018, 13:32, archived)
Of course he's getting cold feet
it's very cold.
(, Tue 27 Feb 2018, 13:33, archived)
Brasher hillmasters mate, I never get cold feet

(, Tue 27 Feb 2018, 13:36, archived)
Then hotfoot it over there!

(, Tue 27 Feb 2018, 13:37, archived)
Feets not hot , never hot

(, Tue 27 Feb 2018, 13:38, archived)
brrrrrr, skidi-kat-kat
boom
(, Tue 27 Feb 2018, 13:55, archived)
Reminds me, I need a poo

(, Tue 27 Feb 2018, 14:01, archived)
Yes

(, Tue 27 Feb 2018, 13:22, archived)
that's nice

(, Tue 27 Feb 2018, 13:32, archived)
yes

(, Tue 27 Feb 2018, 13:23, archived)
alone or with friends?

(, Tue 27 Feb 2018, 13:32, archived)
apparently I have to take the wife and kids

(, Tue 27 Feb 2018, 13:41, archived)
No.
Zagreb's nice, though, as long as you stay out of the touristy town centre. If you arrange to meet anyone in Zagreb, it'll be under the clock in the town square.
(, Tue 27 Feb 2018, 13:24, archived)
Split

(, Tue 27 Feb 2018, 13:33, archived)
Ah well you see I've not been there so I can't really comment.
You could buy some peas there for the record.
(, Tue 27 Feb 2018, 13:37, archived)
ceci n'est pas un food thread

(, Tue 27 Feb 2018, 13:55, archived)
Come on, you're blates going to stuff your face in all the cheap restaurants over there.
We asked our tour guide in Budapest why all the restaurants were so empty, and she told us that a three-course meal in a semi-decent restaurant cost an average monthly salary.
(, Tue 27 Feb 2018, 13:58, archived)
Carne di hall is ace (but pricey, even by UK standards)
www.tripadvisor.co.uk/Restaurant_Review-g274887-d10169198-Reviews-Carne_di_Hall-Budapest_Central_Hungary.html
(, Tue 27 Feb 2018, 14:00, archived)
Omelette du fromage, m8.

(, Tue 27 Feb 2018, 14:03, archived)
you'll be surprised to hear that I don't travel just to eat other foods
I'm really not that bothered about what the local cuisine is like.
(, Tue 27 Feb 2018, 14:04, archived)
Do you bring all your own food with you when you travel, like the Dutch?

(, Tue 27 Feb 2018, 14:05, archived)
No, I just mean I don't go out of my way to hunt down that quiet little bistro that serves the gorgeous dish that someone's dickhead girlfriend read about in the Guardian supplement
the best food in Norway was not, in fact, a pint of prawns, but a fat can of warmed up en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sodd I bought from the local supermarket.
(, Tue 27 Feb 2018, 14:15, archived)
^egg and chips garfuckincon

(, Tue 27 Feb 2018, 14:16, archived)
M X N T m8

(, Tue 27 Feb 2018, 14:18, archived)
Monkey xylophonists never tire?

(, Tue 27 Feb 2018, 14:51, archived)
Xenophobia never tweets, mate

(, Tue 27 Feb 2018, 14:55, archived)
S, V R B C

(, Tue 27 Feb 2018, 15:12, archived)
Heroes in a half shell?

(, Tue 27 Feb 2018, 15:53, archived)
Time for cake and soddomy.

(, Tue 27 Feb 2018, 14:19, archived)
You're a warmed up sod, m8

(, Tue 27 Feb 2018, 14:23, archived)
still cold in the middle

(, Tue 27 Feb 2018, 14:39, archived)
Still got to get the passport paperwork signed and sent.
A right palaver.
(, Tue 27 Feb 2018, 13:27, archived)
passport chat is well lol

(, Tue 27 Feb 2018, 13:33, archived)
Might wait a bit, try to get one in Brexit blue.

(, Tue 27 Feb 2018, 13:37, archived)
mine expires next year, I'll have to get the blue one
or I could swap it now and get a nice EU one for ten years.
(, Tue 27 Feb 2018, 13:57, archived)
Mmm
pavlova
(, Tue 27 Feb 2018, 13:38, archived)
Yer
Going to Copenhagen for a long weekend for my birthday then 2 weeks in Turkey in August
(, Tue 27 Feb 2018, 13:31, archived)
is that weird hippy drug island still accessible near copenhagen?

(, Tue 27 Feb 2018, 13:33, archived)
Christiania?
y
(, Tue 27 Feb 2018, 14:35, archived)
I thought the rozzers cleared it all out a few years back

(, Tue 27 Feb 2018, 14:39, archived)
Still there but no open dealing

(, Tue 27 Feb 2018, 14:40, archived)
Doesn't that crop up in one of the Harry Hole novels?

(, Tue 27 Feb 2018, 14:54, archived)

r i
+bum
(, Tue 27 Feb 2018, 14:55, archived)
Hamburg on Friday
wish I was going somewhere warmer
(, Tue 27 Feb 2018, 13:32, archived)
take a kraft slice with you and put it on top of the biggest building you can

(, Tue 27 Feb 2018, 13:34, archived)
#nolettuce

(, Tue 27 Feb 2018, 13:39, archived)
Not yet

(, Tue 27 Feb 2018, 13:33, archived)
waiting for the right moment?

(, Tue 27 Feb 2018, 13:34, archived)
That moment is when I have a job

(, Tue 27 Feb 2018, 13:50, archived)
get a job as one of those holiday reps
two birds one stone
(, Tue 27 Feb 2018, 13:56, archived)
>:(((((

(, Tue 27 Feb 2018, 13:34, archived)
^Edd the duck

(, Tue 27 Feb 2018, 13:35, archived)
^ fungus the bogeyman

(, Tue 27 Feb 2018, 13:40, archived)
^generic caret

(, Tue 27 Feb 2018, 13:46, archived)

generic Jasper
(, Tue 27 Feb 2018, 13:53, archived)
Your device battery is low.
Please connect the device to your computer.


OK
(, Tue 27 Feb 2018, 13:42, archived)
connect this device to your computer
*points at crotch*
(, Tue 27 Feb 2018, 13:50, archived)
I don't use micro usb

(, Tue 27 Feb 2018, 13:52, archived)
Something about a dongle and a virus

(, Tue 27 Feb 2018, 13:59, archived)
No
Something for the weekend, sir
(, Tue 27 Feb 2018, 13:54, archived)
a gross of condoms please

(, Tue 27 Feb 2018, 13:56, archived)
Got some used ones you can have, they're pretty gross

(, Tue 27 Feb 2018, 13:59, archived)
gross on the inside or the outside?

(, Tue 27 Feb 2018, 14:07, archived)
Flebbed for her pleasure.

(, Tue 27 Feb 2018, 14:08, archived)
This is making me giggle way too much!

(, Tue 27 Feb 2018, 15:15, archived)
:)

(, Tue 27 Feb 2018, 15:29, archived)
Canada & Turkey

(, Tue 27 Feb 2018, 14:08, archived)
Empanada & Jerky

(, Tue 27 Feb 2018, 14:14, archived)
Nothing out of the country planned as yet.

(, Tue 27 Feb 2018, 14:18, archived)
Probably Paris, later in the year.

(, Tue 27 Feb 2018, 14:19, archived)
We keep threatening to go to Amsterdam
but everything's just focused on the house at the moment
(, Tue 27 Feb 2018, 14:22, archived)
I found it underwhelming
just like the Sistine Chapel
(, Tue 27 Feb 2018, 14:25, archived)
Ah, now you see I found the sistine chapel quite moving
In spite of being annoyed at the people trying to hide the fact they were taking crappy photos with their phones
(, Tue 27 Feb 2018, 14:38, archived)
I was fed up to the back teeth with renaissance religious art by the time I got to the chapel
There were only so many pricks in robes being addressed by the fucking Lord that I can see in one day before I started walking blithely past Titians and so on, not giving a fuck.

/phillistine
(, Tue 27 Feb 2018, 14:43, archived)
Like that bit Dara Ó Briain did on QI about going on dates with people who hadn't had a Catholic education
and who therefore didn't know who any of the saints were in the paintings. "Who's that bloke with the two sticks? Who's the guy holding the birds? Who's the guy with the long beard and the square crown?", etc.
(, Tue 27 Feb 2018, 14:45, archived)
Yes, he IS as funny as prostate cancer, isn't he

(, Tue 27 Feb 2018, 14:51, archived)
he's a coke head

(, Tue 27 Feb 2018, 14:56, archived)

ke ck

lol
(, Tue 27 Feb 2018, 14:57, archived)
lol

(, Tue 27 Feb 2018, 15:04, archived)
oh lol

(, Tue 27 Feb 2018, 15:31, archived)
lol

(, Tue 27 Feb 2018, 15:40, archived)
I preferred Michelangelo's David
Very impressive and nice cockle too
(, Tue 27 Feb 2018, 14:46, archived)
^ mussel worship

(, Tue 27 Feb 2018, 14:50, archived)

i.redd.it/mm50e8z68pi01.jpg
(, Tue 27 Feb 2018, 15:01, archived)
but y tho

(, Tue 27 Feb 2018, 15:08, archived)
Can't smoke joints with baccy in the coffee shops anymore, fuck that

(, Tue 27 Feb 2018, 15:10, archived)
I'd have thought that actual green would be a more pleasant smoke than baccy and resin?

(, Tue 27 Feb 2018, 15:43, archived)
I still like baccy in a joint even with green

(, Tue 27 Feb 2018, 15:49, archived)
me too, not only does it burn better but it means I can still just about function after smoking

(, Tue 27 Feb 2018, 16:01, archived)
Is this where I get to call you a "lightweight"?

(, Tue 27 Feb 2018, 16:02, archived)
Nobody really smokes pure green joints , wouldn't burn and would cost 50 quid a king skin

(, Tue 27 Feb 2018, 16:18, archived)
TIL

(, Tue 27 Feb 2018, 16:22, archived)
my mrs is going to croatia this year with a couple of her mates
i was thinking of hungaria or sutin, but got nothing planned yet. quite fancy something with a decent city festival type of thing going on.
(, Tue 27 Feb 2018, 14:47, archived)
I'm thinking of going to wanky wanky wanky wank wank wank wank wanky wanky wank this year
I hear it's lovely in the spring
(, Tue 27 Feb 2018, 15:53, archived)
Yes
also in Croatia
(, Tue 27 Feb 2018, 21:15, archived)
11:15
Perfection is not attainable, but if we chase perfection we can catch excellence.
(, Tue 27 Feb 2018, 11:15, archived)

excellence herpes
(, Tue 27 Feb 2018, 11:18, archived)
That's what women use to piss standing up isn't it?

(, Tue 27 Feb 2018, 11:24, archived)
you'd know m10-2

(, Tue 27 Feb 2018, 11:51, archived)
Oh, I didn't realise that

(, Tue 27 Feb 2018, 11:26, archived)

xellence m all
(, Tue 27 Feb 2018, 11:43, archived)
idgi

(, Tue 27 Feb 2018, 11:50, archived)

dgi choose you
(, Tue 27 Feb 2018, 11:53, archived)

❤️
(, Tue 27 Feb 2018, 12:01, archived)
evolves into idgiotto

(, Tue 27 Feb 2018, 12:09, archived)
yes

(, Tue 27 Feb 2018, 12:15, archived)
i was both pleased and disgusted with myself for that one

(, Tue 27 Feb 2018, 12:27, archived)
Got any opinion on Yu-Gi-Oh, manolith?

(, Tue 27 Feb 2018, 12:16, archived)
it's about collecting monsters and battling them, innit?
dunno why they don't just call it pokemon

but seriously, no. none.
(, Tue 27 Feb 2018, 12:27, archived)
OK.

(, Tue 27 Feb 2018, 12:54, archived)
Shit and rubbish

(, Tue 27 Feb 2018, 12:30, archived)
Yeah, that was my take, too.

(, Tue 27 Feb 2018, 12:54, archived)
I was just looking through Russell crowes art of divorce auction, he was quite an eclectic collector, paintings, guitars, movie stuff , should pay off his ex tho

(, Tue 27 Feb 2018, 11:47, archived)
once you've made your third multi-million dollar blockbuster
you probably have to close your ebay account, otherwise you'd buy the entire fucking site one night when you were drunk and bored.
(, Tue 27 Feb 2018, 11:54, archived)
possibly of interest to old fellas like you and mcbeef
www.thewire.co.uk/galleries/rave-flyers-1991-1993
(, Tue 27 Feb 2018, 12:02, archived)
I had a shoebox full of 'em, I really should have kept them :((((

(, Tue 27 Feb 2018, 12:03, archived)
I've probably still got loads somewhere, do people pay for them nowadays?

(, Tue 27 Feb 2018, 12:09, archived)
if you turn them into a coffee table book

(, Tue 27 Feb 2018, 12:10, archived)
I've got this, it's pretty good although a fair bit predates my raving years
www.amazon.co.uk/Rave-Art-Flyers-invitations-membership/dp/1780975953
(, Tue 27 Feb 2018, 12:20, archived)
I bet as a job lot on eBay someone might

(, Tue 27 Feb 2018, 12:16, archived)
I had some great ones, one ticket flyer was a pyramid with jelly baby's and a pill in

(, Tue 27 Feb 2018, 12:04, archived)
I remember that one!
Telepathy or Raindance or summat
(, Tue 27 Feb 2018, 12:16, archived)
I think it was Sunrise

(, Tue 27 Feb 2018, 12:17, archived)
I dunno I was off my nut most of the time lol

(, Tue 27 Feb 2018, 12:27, archived)
me too!!

(, Tue 27 Feb 2018, 12:41, archived)
SAME!!!!!!!

(, Tue 27 Feb 2018, 12:50, archived)
I still am!!!!!!!!!!!!!

(, Tue 27 Feb 2018, 12:50, archived)
Shut the front door!

(, Tue 27 Feb 2018, 12:50, archived)
he used to smoke 60 a day
hero
(, Tue 27 Feb 2018, 12:51, archived)
You can buy is gladiator costume, or his romper stomper boots

(, Tue 27 Feb 2018, 13:10, archived)
romper stomper was good

(, Tue 27 Feb 2018, 13:22, archived)
There can be no happiness if the things we believe in are different from the things we do.

(, Tue 27 Feb 2018, 12:01, archived)
You and TH
having a nice evening.
(, Tue 27 Feb 2018, 12:59, archived)
I wouldn't type it
I'd show it
(, Tue 27 Feb 2018, 13:06, archived)
tell that to eddi reader

(, Tue 27 Feb 2018, 12:03, archived)
Oh man i love pearl jam

(, Tue 27 Feb 2018, 12:04, archived)
spunky

(, Tue 27 Feb 2018, 12:10, archived)
bit of dirty frank, eh?
disgusting
(, Tue 27 Feb 2018, 12:10, archived)
Bit short sighted of them to not fit a shower behind the bookcase

(, Tue 27 Feb 2018, 12:14, archived)
^does the envolvlution

(, Tue 27 Feb 2018, 12:15, archived)
I already have

(, Tue 27 Feb 2018, 12:06, archived)
what did she say?

(, Tue 27 Feb 2018, 12:09, archived)
"Och aye"

(, Tue 27 Feb 2018, 12:17, archived)
braw

(, Tue 27 Feb 2018, 12:27, archived)
and we try... (try) the patience of tangles

(, Tue 27 Feb 2018, 12:06, archived)
Away in a tanger

(, Tue 27 Feb 2018, 12:08, archived)
What sort of name is 'Sadenia' anyway?

(, Tue 27 Feb 2018, 12:15, archived)
might as wheel this out for when the black ice comes
www.youtube.com/watch?v=7MPRmOUxRMY
(, Tue 27 Feb 2018, 12:21, archived)

youtu.be/efiW2K8gASM
(, Tue 27 Feb 2018, 12:34, archived)
now I want a choc ice

(, Tue 27 Feb 2018, 12:37, archived)
morning

(, Tue 27 Feb 2018, 6:55, archived)
word up

(, Tue 27 Feb 2018, 7:16, archived)
Cameo or Mel B or KoRn?

(, Tue 27 Feb 2018, 7:20, archived)
none of the above

(, Tue 27 Feb 2018, 7:26, archived)
but the Cameo vid has Geordie La Forge in it

(, Tue 27 Feb 2018, 7:29, archived)
Gun.

(, Tue 27 Feb 2018, 9:24, archived)
Terry Christian

(, Tue 27 Feb 2018, 9:26, archived)
barry muslim

(, Tue 27 Feb 2018, 9:38, archived)
Jimmy Jew

(, Tue 27 Feb 2018, 9:42, archived)
doesn't he make shoes for ladies?

(, Tue 27 Feb 2018, 9:49, archived)
*nods*

(, Tue 27 Feb 2018, 9:54, archived)
just doin' the do

(, Tue 27 Feb 2018, 10:17, archived)
lol

(, Tue 27 Feb 2018, 10:19, archived)
& June Jew

(, Tue 27 Feb 2018, 9:41, archived)
the bosshoss

(, Tue 27 Feb 2018, 9:40, archived)
Good choice mano-lano
www.youtube.com/watch?v=aV3JD9eniKE
(, Tue 27 Feb 2018, 9:42, archived)
thanks ma8e. x

(, Tue 27 Feb 2018, 10:54, archived)
MEL B!!!!

(, Tue 27 Feb 2018, 11:01, archived)
you're such a stereotype

(, Tue 27 Feb 2018, 11:07, archived)
Github

(, Tue 27 Feb 2018, 7:44, archived)
nerd

(, Tue 27 Feb 2018, 7:55, archived)
Git on hub.

(, Tue 27 Feb 2018, 9:24, archived)
Hi

(, Tue 27 Feb 2018, 7:57, archived)
*waves*

(, Tue 27 Feb 2018, 8:03, archived)
Gadzooks!

(, Tue 27 Feb 2018, 8:02, archived)
crivens!

(, Tue 27 Feb 2018, 8:03, archived)
Noir

(, Tue 27 Feb 2018, 8:03, archived)
reading this in a northern irish accent

(, Tue 27 Feb 2018, 8:04, archived)

i.redditmedia.com/ep72btujKPqyIUvkpHLuEeVdLA8Wso3EuXpaqAwbpNQ.jpg?w=960&s=7aa4955101e1910ca5e2e79e16742c96
(, Tue 27 Feb 2018, 8:14, archived)
hahaha
I bet *their* dripping with fanny
(, Tue 27 Feb 2018, 8:44, archived)
They're certainly dripping with pizza grease, by the look of them.

(, Tue 27 Feb 2018, 9:38, archived)
Hey, glad I never went fishing

(, Tue 27 Feb 2018, 8:11, archived)
found something better to do?

(, Tue 27 Feb 2018, 8:16, archived)
I was only go for a snow carp, but there's no snow

(, Tue 27 Feb 2018, 8:19, archived)
supposed to start again at 10am

(, Tue 27 Feb 2018, 8:21, archived)
Blue skys and sunshine here

(, Tue 27 Feb 2018, 8:22, archived)
Same here

(, Tue 27 Feb 2018, 8:32, archived)
These weather monkeys are fucking shit at their job

(, Tue 27 Feb 2018, 8:40, archived)
bum

(, Tue 27 Feb 2018, 8:14, archived)
no need m8, no need

(, Tue 27 Feb 2018, 8:16, archived)
poo

(, Tue 27 Feb 2018, 9:54, archived)
wee

(, Tue 27 Feb 2018, 9:55, archived)
brilliant

(, Tue 27 Feb 2018, 9:57, archived)

br w ant es
(, Tue 27 Feb 2018, 10:11, archived)
Morning
Snowing here finally
(, Tue 27 Feb 2018, 8:35, archived)
getting a bit jelly of everyone else's snow tbh

(, Tue 27 Feb 2018, 8:44, archived)
People, honestly.
They complain when they get snow and they complain when they don't.
(, Tue 27 Feb 2018, 9:00, archived)
Don't be
Just nipped to the doctor's to get blood taken and forgot to change out of my slippers
(, Tue 27 Feb 2018, 9:15, archived)
You don't make those sorts of mistakes when it's hovering near -20
Even opening the window takes your breath away.
(, Tue 27 Feb 2018, 9:22, archived)
You're in Warsaw not Berlin, you dopey twat

(, Tue 27 Feb 2018, 9:22, archived)
soz

(, Tue 27 Feb 2018, 9:22, archived)
If it was- 20 here i wouldn't leave the house

(, Tue 27 Feb 2018, 9:25, archived)
what temperature is it where you are and are you leaving the house?

(, Tue 27 Feb 2018, 9:51, archived)
You stay here, and make sure he doesn't leave the room.

(, Tue 27 Feb 2018, 9:54, archived)
finally, someone asking the important questions

(, Tue 27 Feb 2018, 9:55, archived)
I'm guessing '20 degrees and No'

(, Tue 27 Feb 2018, 10:00, archived)
-2 and I'm going shopping

(, Tue 27 Feb 2018, 10:06, archived)
tesco.com?

(, Tue 27 Feb 2018, 11:07, archived)
No snow here, just a bit cold
(my toes went numb on the way in...)
(, Tue 27 Feb 2018, 8:45, archived)
I got chilly in my goretex pumas with thick socks on
I'm gonna have to break out the proper winter boots at this rate.
(, Tue 27 Feb 2018, 9:07, archived)
hey hey it's the morning
and people say it mornings around
(, Tue 27 Feb 2018, 8:56, archived)
they do say that
yes
(, Tue 27 Feb 2018, 8:58, archived)
They said it ONCE, m8
ONCE
(, Tue 27 Feb 2018, 9:00, archived)
They do say that once are they led it off the road, I believe.

(, Tue 27 Feb 2018, 9:02, archived)
false

(, Tue 27 Feb 2018, 9:03, archived)
totally still counts

(, Tue 27 Feb 2018, 9:21, archived)
i hear they were under the influence at the time too

(, Tue 27 Feb 2018, 9:44, archived)
Many years ago, my cousin and I watched 'Head' halfway through an acid trip
and during 'Daddy's Song' my cousin had a really nasty turn. He ended up walking down to the creek to chill out, only to be confronted by zombies emerging from the shore. To my knowledge, he never did acid again.
(, Tue 27 Feb 2018, 9:54, archived)
is your cousin al snow?

(, Tue 27 Feb 2018, 9:58, archived)
Come on, there's no need to be like that

(, Tue 27 Feb 2018, 9:59, archived)
it's what everybody wants

(, Tue 27 Feb 2018, 11:13, archived)

al bespectacled Toronto reggae-rap sensation
(, Tue 27 Feb 2018, 10:43, archived)
tell me who and I'll smash their fucking teeth in
nobody says that about MY morning.
(, Tue 27 Feb 2018, 9:07, archived)
we're too busy morning to put anybody down

(, Tue 27 Feb 2018, 9:20, archived)

murning
(, Tue 27 Feb 2018, 9:24, archived)
disgusting

(, Tue 27 Feb 2018, 9:14, archived)
let him who is without morning cast the first stone

(, Tue 27 Feb 2018, 9:24, archived)
Hey Scotty, Jesus man!

(, Tue 27 Feb 2018, 9:24, archived)
exactly

(, Tue 27 Feb 2018, 9:31, archived)
so wake up at noon, get stoned
gotcha
(, Tue 27 Feb 2018, 9:38, archived)
actually that does seem to be the better option

(, Tue 27 Feb 2018, 10:18, archived)
if you insist

(, Tue 27 Feb 2018, 9:14, archived)
this morning insists upon itself

(, Tue 27 Feb 2018, 9:39, archived)
yeah man, fuck eamonn holmes

(, Tue 27 Feb 2018, 9:50, archived)
Weather.

(, Tue 27 Feb 2018, 9:26, archived)
brrr, weather eh, lot of it about this time of year

(, Tue 27 Feb 2018, 9:39, archived)
+weather weather HUH!

(, Tue 27 Feb 2018, 9:52, archived)
I can't stand Grease.

(, Tue 27 Feb 2018, 9:55, archived)
I can't think of any musical that isn't insufferably shit tbh

(, Tue 27 Feb 2018, 10:37, archived)
The blues brothers

(, Tue 27 Feb 2018, 10:40, archived)
^

(, Tue 27 Feb 2018, 10:47, archived)
Spinal Tap

(, Tue 27 Feb 2018, 10:44, archived)
how is that a musical?

(, Tue 27 Feb 2018, 10:56, archived)
Because mockumentaries and musicals are clearly the same thing, of course.

(, Tue 27 Feb 2018, 10:58, archived)
Mr Blue listens to a song and dances while he cuts off that policeman's ear
ergo Reservoir Dogs is a musical
(, Tue 27 Feb 2018, 11:09, archived)
There we go.
So's Pulp Fiction, 'cos Vincent Vega and Mia Wallace dance to music in the diner.
(, Tue 27 Feb 2018, 11:11, archived)
You're going to love it when your kid gets into Disney.

(, Tue 27 Feb 2018, 10:58, archived)
this sunday she was bouncing around to this:
youtu.be/WFIWyCcZ-IM?t=3m41s

so I think Let It Go is a way off yet.
(, Tue 27 Feb 2018, 11:08, archived)
Annie (+lingus)

(, Tue 27 Feb 2018, 11:02, archived)
the south park movie

(, Tue 27 Feb 2018, 11:09, archived)
I never found south park funny, 20 years ago or otherwise
soz
(, Tue 27 Feb 2018, 11:14, archived)
And team america

(, Tue 27 Feb 2018, 11:15, archived)
Heh.
At a friend's birthday party a couple of years ago, I was sitting on the couch after a couple of spliffs and remembered the Grease/Pulp Fiction mashup a mate had posted on Facebook earlier that day, "Tell me more, tell me more / Does he look like a bitch?", and cackled hysterically like a mong for the next 20 minutes.
(, Tue 27 Feb 2018, 10:03, archived)
I went to see a marionette Pulp Fiction show at The Fringe called Puppet Fiction.
True story.
(, Tue 27 Feb 2018, 10:24, archived)
Was it any good?
You never know what you're going to get with puppets.
(, Tue 27 Feb 2018, 10:28, archived)
Superb

(, Tue 27 Feb 2018, 11:02, archived)
"Does he look like Mister Punch?!"

(, Tue 27 Feb 2018, 10:38, archived)
"Mr Punch only likes to be fucked by Mrs Punch!"

(, Tue 27 Feb 2018, 11:01, archived)
morning bottom

(, Tue 27 Feb 2018, 9:53, archived)
^ /talk's Rik Mayle

(, Tue 27 Feb 2018, 9:55, archived)
*mayall

(, Tue 27 Feb 2018, 11:10, archived)
Fucksake.
Nobody's reading that shit you type...

What are you all up to this cold and frosty Monday?
I reckon I'll be polishing off the last of the joints and watching Thor 3.
(, Mon 26 Feb 2018, 17:55, archived)
I'm 'avin' fish'n chips in a wee bit

(, Mon 26 Feb 2018, 18:02, archived)
Noice.
Mushy peas? Curry sauce? Pickled onions?
(, Mon 26 Feb 2018, 18:07, archived)
fries 'n mayo

(, Mon 26 Feb 2018, 18:18, archived)

bit sauce
(, Mon 26 Feb 2018, 18:18, archived)
next time

(, Mon 26 Feb 2018, 18:19, archived)
i once ruined a plate of fish & chips by accidentally knocking my glass of squash over and soaking it
that looked a bit like dehydrated wee, i s'pose
(, Mon 26 Feb 2018, 19:16, archived)
My nan once slopped coke over her chips, mistaking it for vinegar.
Nans and food, this is some high level /talk-ing.
(, Mon 26 Feb 2018, 20:26, archived)

yn
(, Mon 26 Feb 2018, 20:28, archived)
Bees are on the what now?

(, Mon 26 Feb 2018, 21:33, archived)
Fish are friends not fooood :(

(, Mon 26 Feb 2018, 18:18, archived)
alright "shark" from Finding Nemo

(, Mon 26 Feb 2018, 18:21, archived)
Bruce mate

(, Mon 26 Feb 2018, 18:26, archived)
don't waste your time on this bunch of pixar haters, man

(, Mon 26 Feb 2018, 19:21, archived)
Named after the shark from jaws
Which was, in turn, named after Spielberg's lawyer
(, Mon 26 Feb 2018, 19:35, archived)
I just assumed they'd done it as an aussie name , bruce and Shelia being what all aussies are called

(, Mon 26 Feb 2018, 19:47, archived)
Happy coincidence, I think

(, Mon 26 Feb 2018, 19:53, archived)
Nah it must have entered their heads , I didn't know jaws was called bruce

(, Mon 26 Feb 2018, 20:16, archived)
It was by all the crew
Spielberg took to calling it the great white turd because it broke down so often
(, Mon 26 Feb 2018, 21:22, archived)
had free tickets to see a film called 'game night' tonight but it's very cold out and we're both a bit ill so fuck it

(, Mon 26 Feb 2018, 18:20, archived)
I'd not heard of that one; it looks worth a watch.
Also get well soon.
(, Mon 26 Feb 2018, 18:26, archived)
yeah it looks alright but not really the kind of thing that HAS to be seen on a big screen. i'll stream it online at some point
also: cheers
(, Mon 26 Feb 2018, 18:46, archived)
I'm up the juicer

(, Mon 26 Feb 2018, 18:27, archived)
STANDARD

(, Mon 26 Feb 2018, 18:37, archived)
I'll probably crack open the lambrini and get into some Aniston rom-coms :) :) :)

(, Mon 26 Feb 2018, 18:50, archived)
Having some chicken barley soup

(, Mon 26 Feb 2018, 19:33, archived)
Got the girls coming round tonight for Lambrini and gossip

(, Mon 26 Feb 2018, 19:59, archived)
cracked open a cold one and downloaded illegal warez because I am ;33t af

(, Mon 26 Feb 2018, 20:24, archived)
Hour long game of Pokémon with the youngest, followed by a late dinner.
/blog
(, Mon 26 Feb 2018, 20:28, archived)
I've just been bullied into allowing my boy to buy an online skin, I fucking hate that shit , 8 quid

(, Mon 26 Feb 2018, 20:43, archived)
+k

(, Mon 26 Feb 2018, 20:45, archived)
I don't hate that shit , mods do

(, Mon 26 Feb 2018, 20:54, archived)
An online skink?

(, Mon 26 Feb 2018, 20:56, archived)
Careful now

(, Mon 26 Feb 2018, 20:57, archived)
first warning

(, Mon 26 Feb 2018, 21:01, archived)
Turns 360 and walks away

(, Mon 26 Feb 2018, 21:13, archived)
Ugh.
Not a fan of that microtransaction crap. Made the mistake of letting mine buy Minecraft Story Mode for his tablet, not realising that you had to buy it in instalments. Fuck that noise.
(, Mon 26 Feb 2018, 22:03, archived)
I saw Harry Dean Stanton's final film today, what a wonderful film to end with.

(, Mon 26 Feb 2018, 21:32, archived)
COCK!
Now that I've got your attention....LOOK AT MY FUCKEN COCK!

Not really. Cold innit? It's been snowing on and off today. Not much, of course, but still. What has been lightly falling from the sky where YOU live? Probably shit or summat. Fucking pricks.
(, Mon 26 Feb 2018, 15:22, archived)
Men.
Hallelujah
(, Mon 26 Feb 2018, 15:25, archived)
It's busy twohats.
Really busy. Boiler break downs. Fucking plumber off sick.
(, Mon 26 Feb 2018, 15:28, archived)
Not a lot.
Yesterday I saw my psycho con man former landlord in the supermarket, the one who tried to rip me off for 10,000 by having the entire kitchen of my flat redone at my expense when I gave up the flat in perfectly serviceable condition. He gave me an evil glare, so I gave him an evil glare back.
(, Mon 26 Feb 2018, 15:28, archived)
Guffs

(, Mon 26 Feb 2018, 15:32, archived)
I'm cancelling my trip due to the lack of snedge, might just go pub

(, Mon 26 Feb 2018, 15:33, archived)
I am leaving in 10 mins.
There are already delays.

#Commuterchat
(, Mon 26 Feb 2018, 15:35, archived)
I was going to go fishing, but unless I can get a good 12 inches it's not worth risking just being cold all night

(, Mon 26 Feb 2018, 15:37, archived)
A-men, sister!

(, Mon 26 Feb 2018, 15:37, archived)
lol, willies

(, Mon 26 Feb 2018, 15:51, archived)
#2snedgy4me

(, Mon 26 Feb 2018, 15:36, archived)
It's so cold out there
my winkle has shrunk inside my body and the bit that's left looks like the thing you blow to inflate a beach ball. Strikey to your heart's content.
(, Mon 26 Feb 2018, 15:35, archived)
You are the alien from Dark Star AICMFP.

(, Mon 26 Feb 2018, 15:45, archived)
I tried to watch that, once.
Gave up.
(, Mon 26 Feb 2018, 15:52, archived)
It's an odd'un, alright.
It's been a very long time since I saw it so my memories of it are more than hazy.
(, Mon 26 Feb 2018, 16:10, archived)
What the tomato type thing?

(, Mon 26 Feb 2018, 16:26, archived)
That's the one.

(, Mon 26 Feb 2018, 17:35, archived)
It's not how I see myself
but hey.

Jesus, I've not seen that film since I was bout 9.
(, Mon 26 Feb 2018, 21:00, archived)
snow like mild dandruff here
occasional flake, but not much else
(, Mon 26 Feb 2018, 15:38, archived)
Ineffectual snowflakes, here.
Typical millennial weather.
(, Mon 26 Feb 2018, 15:53, archived)
bits of people and wispa bars
/Leicester
(, Mon 26 Feb 2018, 16:04, archived)
heh

(, Mon 26 Feb 2018, 16:07, archived)
lol

(, Mon 26 Feb 2018, 16:34, archived)
life is falling

(, Mon 26 Feb 2018, 16:13, archived)
Good article plotting the rise and fall of a huge market
www.hodinkee.com/articles/four-revolutions-led-watches
(, Mon 26 Feb 2018, 16:19, archived)
yeah, a few flakes here too
everyone is hoping that it'll settle and work will be closed tomorrow but if that happens, i just won't get paid for the day. zero hour contract ftw!!!
(, Mon 26 Feb 2018, 16:20, archived)
I'll pay you with hope

(, Mon 26 Feb 2018, 16:34, archived)
thanks ma8e. x

(, Mon 26 Feb 2018, 16:45, archived)
Liz Truss will be so proud.

(, Mon 26 Feb 2018, 17:06, archived)
she's such a dweeb

(, Mon 26 Feb 2018, 17:25, archived)
WANKER'S
Haha, not really, you alright?

I really overcooked it Saturday night, got up at 4pm yesterday and was back in bed having really weird dreams by 9. I feel decidedly odd today
(, Mon 26 Feb 2018, 11:46, archived)
get back on it you pansy

(, Mon 26 Feb 2018, 11:50, archived)
will do

(, Mon 26 Feb 2018, 11:51, archived)
Cheers

(, Mon 26 Feb 2018, 11:56, archived)
gud 1 lol

(, Mon 26 Feb 2018, 11:58, archived)
lol

(, Mon 26 Feb 2018, 12:00, archived)
lol

(, Mon 26 Feb 2018, 12:05, archived)
1o1

(, Mon 26 Feb 2018, 12:53, archived)
Can't decide if this is about foooooooood or MASSIVE DRUGS.

(, Mon 26 Feb 2018, 12:04, archived)
it's about MASSIVE DRUGS although you'll be pleased to know then when I did drag my sorry arse out of bed yesterday, I cooked cheeseburgers

(, Mon 26 Feb 2018, 12:06, archived)
You can't beat a homemade chzbgr.

(, Mon 26 Feb 2018, 12:08, archived)
Apologies to any food addicts on the forum
but I put brie inside mine, then serve them with a couple of rashers of streaky. Fucken get in
(, Mon 26 Feb 2018, 13:01, archived)
get in this
*points at crotch*
(, Mon 26 Feb 2018, 13:04, archived)
can do

(, Mon 26 Feb 2018, 13:42, archived)
Nice.
Mozzarella inside is nice too. Just for the stringz.
(, Mon 26 Feb 2018, 13:27, archived)
In the interests of clarity, I would like to make it clear that what you are describing is not a big mac.

(, Mon 26 Feb 2018, 13:40, archived)
hahahaha

(, Mon 26 Feb 2018, 13:41, archived)
It's about the Ladysmith Black Mambazo concert he went to
it's pretty obvious
(, Mon 26 Feb 2018, 12:07, archived)
LOVE those guys

(, Mon 26 Feb 2018, 12:11, archived)
Woah, me too.
I want to listen to 'Graceland' now.
(, Mon 26 Feb 2018, 12:12, archived)
Oh man Paul Simon is SO COOL

(, Mon 26 Feb 2018, 12:16, archived)
Aw man, there I was thinking we actually agreed on something musical for a change.

(, Mon 26 Feb 2018, 12:20, archived)
hahaha fuck that

(, Mon 26 Feb 2018, 12:22, archived)
What can I say?
Grrry said it best.
(, Mon 26 Feb 2018, 12:32, archived)
when he said nothing at all?

(, Mon 26 Feb 2018, 12:39, archived)
WHY IT GOTTA BE BLACK?!

(, Mon 26 Feb 2018, 12:25, archived)
i think you're supposed to say ladysmith mambazo of colour

(, Mon 26 Feb 2018, 13:00, archived)
alright 'not henry ford'

(, Mon 26 Feb 2018, 13:19, archived)
When do we get a MANsmith WHITE Mambazo?

(, Mon 26 Feb 2018, 13:45, archived)
You'll have to settle for Lizo Mzimba

(, Mon 26 Feb 2018, 13:48, archived)
manjones

(, Mon 26 Feb 2018, 13:56, archived)
Alas

(, Mon 26 Feb 2018, 14:00, archived)

man co
(, Mon 26 Feb 2018, 14:37, archived)
Manolith Black Mambazo or gtfo.

(, Mon 26 Feb 2018, 14:00, archived)
On the massive legal drugs myself today.
I caught up on all my missed sleep on Saturday then fecked up the balance again by staying up till 02:00 watching The Fellowship of the Ring. Oh, I made cheeseburgers as well yesterday, so cheeseburger high-fives or something.
(, Mon 26 Feb 2018, 12:09, archived)
alright rich
sounds like you were being a bit of a silly boy
(, Mon 26 Feb 2018, 12:09, archived)
I nominate him as the silliest boy on /talk 2018

(, Mon 26 Feb 2018, 12:11, archived)
seconded

(, Mon 26 Feb 2018, 12:14, archived)
oh I was *well* silly m8

(, Mon 26 Feb 2018, 12:12, archived)
silly enough to get "GREG" tattooed on his foot?

(, Mon 26 Feb 2018, 12:16, archived)
way sillier than that

(, Mon 26 Feb 2018, 12:17, archived)
was that silly though, it won him the task!

(, Mon 26 Feb 2018, 12:49, archived)
do you reckon it was really Romesh's ring?
lol ring
(, Mon 26 Feb 2018, 12:54, archived)
is this about a prize task? i haven't watched s1 in ages
i read that most of the time, they don't actually take all the prizes
(, Mon 26 Feb 2018, 13:02, archived)
yer, that's what I was getting at
I can't believe they'd cart all that shit home at the end of each filming.
(, Mon 26 Feb 2018, 13:03, archived)
the level of 'shit' escalates quite a lot in later series
spoiler alert, someone puts their oven up as a prize
(, Mon 26 Feb 2018, 13:24, archived)

as a prize dara o'briain's arse
(, Mon 26 Feb 2018, 14:01, archived)
the potatoes are done ERRRRRMMMMM

(, Mon 26 Feb 2018, 14:18, archived)
nearly RIP Kevin Smith

(, Mon 26 Feb 2018, 12:25, archived)
47's too young for that kind of nonsense.
I have no love for Kevin Smith but you'd think that someone with a family history of massive heart attacks would make an effort not to turn into a fat knacker.
(, Mon 26 Feb 2018, 12:39, archived)
what a loss to the arts that wouldn't be

(, Mon 26 Feb 2018, 12:41, archived)
Jeez
Well it can't have come as a total surprise to him, surely
(, Mon 26 Feb 2018, 12:53, archived)
so more like a Heart Overdue Visit?

(, Mon 26 Feb 2018, 12:54, archived)
He forgot to say god bless you?

(, Mon 26 Feb 2018, 13:13, archived)
Hi

(, Mon 26 Feb 2018, 12:43, archived)
hey

(, Mon 26 Feb 2018, 13:00, archived)
ho
lol
(, Mon 26 Feb 2018, 13:09, archived)
does anyone else look in the toilet after doing a poo
and feel totally defeated?
(, Mon 26 Feb 2018, 13:17, archived)
All that effort for so little return, eh? Constantly

(, Mon 26 Feb 2018, 13:20, archived)
this time it was
"a battle has raged around my arsehole, and I lost"
(, Mon 26 Feb 2018, 13:25, archived)
Oh god is this about your prolapse again

(, Mon 26 Feb 2018, 13:26, archived)
my anus looks like the Somme

(, Mon 26 Feb 2018, 13:33, archived)

the o a e i
(, Mon 26 Feb 2018, 14:29, archived)
christ, it's not THAT bad

(, Mon 26 Feb 2018, 14:36, archived)
lol

(, Mon 26 Feb 2018, 14:42, archived)
All of your arse are belong to us.

(, Mon 26 Feb 2018, 13:27, archived)
Yeah , still dithering over heading to the lake or not

(, Mon 26 Feb 2018, 13:35, archived)
In any way connected to the crime, the area or the family? Nope. Just like the attention.
www.portsmouth.co.uk/news/crime/thousands-back-waterlooville-gran-s-plea-to-jail-james-bulger-s-killer-for-life-1-8390621
(, Mon 26 Feb 2018, 14:03, archived)
Hahahaha.
A Waterlooville grandmother, 43, ...........................
(, Mon 26 Feb 2018, 14:26, archived)
say no more

(, Mon 26 Feb 2018, 14:30, archived)
And I love it when people call Wecock 'waterlooville'
I've heard Paulsgrove referred to as 'East Cosham'.
(, Mon 26 Feb 2018, 14:32, archived)
have a look at this wecock

(, Mon 26 Feb 2018, 14:34, archived)
had this chat with my family this weekend
my mum was a grandmother at 40, her mum was a gran at 38. Just a generational thing innit.
(, Mon 26 Feb 2018, 14:42, archived)
no m8

(, Mon 26 Feb 2018, 15:24, archived)
i bet her name crops up every week in letters to the editor

(, Mon 26 Feb 2018, 15:18, archived)
Penthouse editor.

(, Mon 26 Feb 2018, 15:34, archived)
I just trumped three blind mice
might have a go at guffing humpty dumpty later
(, Mon 26 Feb 2018, 14:46, archived)
nice work

(, Mon 26 Feb 2018, 14:58, archived)
cheers

(, Mon 26 Feb 2018, 15:05, archived)
i'm off to pick up MASSIVE DRUGS soon
hope the chemist isn't busy
(, Mon 26 Feb 2018, 14:54, archived)
Alright, Gus Fring.

(, Mon 26 Feb 2018, 15:16, archived)
That was okay, actually
went fine. Kept to time, answered the required number of questions. Should pass.
(, Mon 26 Feb 2018, 15:19, archived)
*Mastermind music*

(, Mon 26 Feb 2018, 15:23, archived)
morning

(, Mon 26 Feb 2018, 7:12, archived)
morning
I've got my exam today

I hate exams

I failed my A-levels and I've not done an exam in the intervening 25 years
(, Mon 26 Feb 2018, 7:34, archived)
good luck and all that
I hate those sort of tests too.
(, Mon 26 Feb 2018, 7:38, archived)
Thanks, not sure what kind of mental would like sitting exams
Still, 2 hours and it'll be over.
(, Mon 26 Feb 2018, 7:53, archived)
me
I'm really good at exams*. Consistently-good coursework less so.

*well I used to be
(, Mon 26 Feb 2018, 9:22, archived)
Well, that answers that question

(, Mon 26 Feb 2018, 15:18, archived)
Morning

(, Mon 26 Feb 2018, 7:42, archived)
alright WP

(, Mon 26 Feb 2018, 7:55, archived)
Bloody cold mate.
Almost came a cropper on some ice.
(, Mon 26 Feb 2018, 8:21, archived)
Alright grrry, my fishing gear is all ready to rock , fingers crossed there's enough snow here to make it worth going

(, Mon 26 Feb 2018, 7:49, archived)
is snow good for fishing then?

(, Mon 26 Feb 2018, 7:55, archived)
No absolutely terrible, pointless even trying really , but if you get a snow carp it makes a great picture

(, Mon 26 Feb 2018, 7:58, archived)
can't you make a snowcarp like people make snowmen?

(, Mon 26 Feb 2018, 8:18, archived)
Funny enough if you Google snow carp people have made some good ones

(, Mon 26 Feb 2018, 8:21, archived)
but where do you put the carrot?

(, Mon 26 Feb 2018, 8:30, archived)
*raised eyebrow*

(, Mon 26 Feb 2018, 8:54, archived)
Not really part of my fishing stuff carrots

(, Mon 26 Feb 2018, 8:59, archived)
maybe you should try it as bait

(, Mon 26 Feb 2018, 10:33, archived)
I'm not elmer fudd

(, Mon 26 Feb 2018, 10:35, archived)
5mm and the town is paralysed

(, Mon 26 Feb 2018, 7:58, archived)
we've hit the point where it's too cold for snow
-7 all weekend then -15 last night, my balls clanked on my morning walk
(, Mon 26 Feb 2018, 8:02, archived)

G B
(, Mon 26 Feb 2018, 8:05, archived)
I've got my thermals on now

(, Mon 26 Feb 2018, 8:20, archived)

the town is paralysed my winky is fully erect lol
(, Mon 26 Feb 2018, 10:57, archived)
Morning.
Everyone over here's bleating about record low temperatures but I think they're just being jessies for the time being. It doesn't feel any colder than last week.

Good luck to garidead on the examination. How long until you know the results?
(, Mon 26 Feb 2018, 8:09, archived)
all seems bollocks to me
we used to have winters reaching -20 regularly, and I encountered -30 once where you can feel the water crystalizing on your eyeballs. Not seen winters that harsh for a decade.
(, Mon 26 Feb 2018, 8:18, archived)
-20's the worst I've personally experienced, in St Petersburg and then in New York.
The sight of a snowflake around here, though, is the harbinger of a wave of collective panic that makes people drive like terrified idiots.
(, Mon 26 Feb 2018, 8:21, archived)
Yeah, but it makes a nice change for everyone to be sedate and careful rather than driving like a just passed 17 year old on drugs and with a car full of mates

(, Mon 26 Feb 2018, 8:24, archived)
Oh no, this is the other kind of terrified idiocy.
This is the "It's a bit slippy out; I reckon I could drift my way across this T-junction" kind.
(, Mon 26 Feb 2018, 8:28, archived)
"But, but I was good at Sega Rally back in the day!"

(, Mon 26 Feb 2018, 8:31, archived)
Commuting with huskies is the way forward

(, Mon 26 Feb 2018, 8:21, archived)

k s
(, Mon 26 Feb 2018, 8:24, archived)

i.imgur.com/PGSj2Gg.gif
(, Mon 26 Feb 2018, 8:25, archived)
What's the emission rate?

(, Mon 26 Feb 2018, 8:29, archived)
no-one knows, it's a VW Husky

(, Mon 26 Feb 2018, 8:36, archived)
Not sure dogs could cheat an emissions test
They're scared by their own farts.
(, Mon 26 Feb 2018, 9:19, archived)

www.dogpoweredscooter.com
(, Mon 26 Feb 2018, 8:49, archived)
I do see people cycling with a dog on a leash
it angers me
(, Mon 26 Feb 2018, 9:19, archived)
that's as infuriating as cyclists with headphones in

(, Mon 26 Feb 2018, 9:27, archived)
Thanks
And I don't know/care
(, Mon 26 Feb 2018, 8:55, archived)
urgh

(, Mon 26 Feb 2018, 8:24, archived)
typical millennial

(, Mon 26 Feb 2018, 8:31, archived)
My daughter was in tears on account of there being no snow and no school closures.
Also, her brother is off sick, which is a great injustice.
(, Mon 26 Feb 2018, 8:36, archived)
two pencils up the nose and pants on head?

(, Mon 26 Feb 2018, 8:41, archived)
Wibble.

(, Mon 26 Feb 2018, 8:47, archived)
hey

(, Mon 26 Feb 2018, 8:50, archived)
yo dollars

(, Mon 26 Feb 2018, 8:51, archived)
So. The demolition of Leicester has started then?

(, Mon 26 Feb 2018, 8:57, archived)
they're rebranding as Leice-is-Morester

(, Mon 26 Feb 2018, 9:01, archived)
Or Even-less-ter

(, Mon 26 Feb 2018, 9:04, archived)
Fiuecester

(, Mon 26 Feb 2018, 9:07, archived)
It's a bit cold.
But no snow in the West country, and none expected for a couple of days.
(, Mon 26 Feb 2018, 9:40, archived)
that's good news
you don't want all three teeth in your village to start chattering
(, Mon 26 Feb 2018, 9:49, archived)
Quite.

(, Mon 26 Feb 2018, 9:51, archived)
Morning bells, morning bells, morning all the way

(, Mon 26 Feb 2018, 9:50, archived)
sorry m8, you're too late, you should go away

(, Mon 26 Feb 2018, 10:04, archived)
Today I get to share the office with three women.
They've now been yakking for a solid half-hour about how shocking it is that parents buy their children iPhones and children shouldn't be allowed to have their telephones in bed and such-and-such a kid borrowed someone else's phone and sent a message to all the parents asking permission to go home from school and they're too young to have the internet on their phones and so-and-so threw a tantrum because her brother got a better phone than she did and bla bla bla Disgusted of Tunbridge Wells bla bla bla bloody Nora.
(, Mon 26 Feb 2018, 9:57, archived)
Tunbridge Wells is nice.

(, Mon 26 Feb 2018, 10:04, archived)
I've never been.

(, Mon 26 Feb 2018, 10:05, archived)
I had a super mario watch in primary school with a built in game
it's why I'm addicted to collecting gold coins now
(, Mon 26 Feb 2018, 10:04, archived)
Inject lactulose into some chocolates
That should get shut of them
(, Mon 26 Feb 2018, 10:18, archived)
Two of them don't even like chocolate, believe it or not.

(, Mon 26 Feb 2018, 10:22, archived)
Fucking headwrongs

(, Mon 26 Feb 2018, 11:02, archived)
morning bottom get

(, Mon 26 Feb 2018, 10:01, archived)
denied

(, Mon 26 Feb 2018, 10:05, archived)
beaten by commute chat :(((

(, Mon 26 Feb 2018, 10:16, archived)
Most of the commuting network into London has collapsed due to the possibility of snow.
2 hours 40 fucking minutes to cover 83 miles.
(, Mon 26 Feb 2018, 10:02, archived)
Got to leave London before 6pm too as it's shutting ffs

(, Mon 26 Feb 2018, 10:05, archived)
Same here. I'll be on my toes at 4pm tbh.

(, Mon 26 Feb 2018, 10:07, archived)
Oh I'm not in london, I just saw it on the news

(, Mon 26 Feb 2018, 10:12, archived)
how the fuck is 83 miles a "commute"?

(, Mon 26 Feb 2018, 10:05, archived)
It's 2018, dude.
Train does 70mph = little over an hour.
(, Mon 26 Feb 2018, 10:06, archived)
Calais is about 80 miles from London m8, it's hardly in the commuter belt

(, Mon 26 Feb 2018, 10:09, archived)
Girl I used to go out with worked with a guy in the City who commuted from Yorkshire
Now that is fucking insane
(, Mon 26 Feb 2018, 10:15, archived)
I knew somewhere here who did a similar distance
for six months, while their apartment was being built/renovated. But she was a typical mummy's girl who found it really hard to move out of the family abode.
(, Mon 26 Feb 2018, 10:33, archived)
Yeah well my mate worked on the iss, now that's a commute, 2 days to go 240 miles, shocking really

(, Mon 26 Feb 2018, 10:38, archived)
they should nationalise it

(, Mon 26 Feb 2018, 10:44, archived)
I did read an article a while ago about 'super-commuters'.
People who spend six hours a day on the train and so on because they make a packet working in London and get to relax in their big house up north at the weekends.
(, Mon 26 Feb 2018, 10:39, archived)
An annual season ticket from London to York is £14,428.

(, Mon 26 Feb 2018, 10:55, archived)
That is entirely insane.

(, Mon 26 Feb 2018, 11:02, archived)
It's 2 hours travel time.

(, Mon 26 Feb 2018, 11:06, archived)
What about Sunderland for £19,680 per year? Anyone?

(, Mon 26 Feb 2018, 11:08, archived)
My new company's going to cover half my travel expenses,
but my travel expenses are around 50 a month. If they want me to shell out 1600 a month, they'd better be covering all of it.
(, Mon 26 Feb 2018, 11:18, archived)
It's not my regular commute. I am staying at the seaside at the mo'.

(, Mon 26 Feb 2018, 10:08, archived)
Bournemouth?

(, Mon 26 Feb 2018, 10:11, archived)
Worthing.

(, Mon 26 Feb 2018, 10:17, archived)
It's nice to work a 15 minute walk from my gaff

(, Mon 26 Feb 2018, 10:16, archived)
knowing that you drove a knackered old soviet two-stroke instead makes that even better

(, Mon 26 Feb 2018, 10:18, archived)
Takes me 20 mins to walk to the station. Before all the bollocks.

(, Mon 26 Feb 2018, 10:19, archived)
I feel so sorry for you, Mr house in the country, house on the coast.
Your greed is taking food from the mouths of starving poor
(, Mon 26 Feb 2018, 11:15, archived)
I AM THE STARVING POOR!!

(, Mon 26 Feb 2018, 12:07, archived)
alright

(, Mon 26 Feb 2018, 10:53, archived)
hi

(, Mon 26 Feb 2018, 10:55, archived)
SuNddAAYYy NiiGHtt, feeling alright.
you?
(, Sun 25 Feb 2018, 18:36, archived)
Not bad
Nice chilled night in front of the telly with a pint or two
(, Sun 25 Feb 2018, 18:48, archived)
or three or four, more like

(, Sun 25 Feb 2018, 19:44, archived)
It's funny because chronic liver failure!

(, Sun 25 Feb 2018, 20:01, archived)
I'm drinking hot mulled wine with honey
which feels medicinal and is making me drunk and warm. Might put on a cream turtleneck sweater in a minute and have a bit of a sing, in front of the roaring fire in my log cabin in the 80s.
(, Sun 25 Feb 2018, 20:23, archived)
alright, Jason Voorhees

(, Sun 25 Feb 2018, 20:40, archived)
You've just given me a nice flashback of the first time I ever watched The Pink Panther,
with David Niven and the very lovely Claudia Cardinale in the chalet in the mountains.
(, Sun 25 Feb 2018, 20:49, archived)
Is this your murnkey?

(, Sun 25 Feb 2018, 23:54, archived)
Top Gear in 18 minutes!

(, Sun 25 Feb 2018, 19:42, archived)
Just finished my workout, might make popcorn.

(, Sun 25 Feb 2018, 19:50, archived)
Ive got a touch of the sniffles, but I'm cool ... then hot...oh hahahaha

(, Sun 25 Feb 2018, 19:53, archived)
RIP Leicester

(, Sun 25 Feb 2018, 20:37, archived)
All those polski sklep up in smoke

(, Sun 25 Feb 2018, 21:02, archived)
RIP Tyskie slabs

(, Sun 25 Feb 2018, 21:06, archived)
Gas explosion?
Trying to fiddle the meter.
(, Sun 25 Feb 2018, 21:53, archived)
No more epsom derbies

(, Sun 25 Feb 2018, 21:30, archived)
Sometime sent me a link to Sirens feminist theatre
which was disconcerting.

youtu.be/rbs7q5E5mHE
(, Sun 25 Feb 2018, 9:39, archived)
Not a looker in the bunch

(, Sun 25 Feb 2018, 9:44, archived)
Feminists are good for cardigan sales

(, Sun 25 Feb 2018, 10:05, archived)
There used to be a lot of this wank
around in Brighton. I used to see flyers in pubs for it, seems to have dried up over the last couple of years. Maybe I've just stopped noticing it.
(, Sun 25 Feb 2018, 10:13, archived)
still some knocking about :(

(, Sun 25 Feb 2018, 10:32, archived)
All we get is posters for stupid psychics

(, Sun 25 Feb 2018, 10:59, archived)
Mr Madiba!
A gifted African spiritual healer from birth!

Can help you with:

Financial debt!
Sexual impotence!
Gay!
Black magic!

That was handed to me at East Croydon station in about 1999.
(, Sun 25 Feb 2018, 11:45, archived)
It would have been funny if he'd handed it to a South African bloke
who took exception at Nelson Mandela's honorific being exploited like that, and lamped him.
(, Sun 25 Feb 2018, 11:48, archived)

goo.gl/images/sv1WgW

Looks like he dropped the gay bit.
(, Sun 25 Feb 2018, 12:19, archived)
Probably had too many calls from people wanting help with how to be gay.

(, Sun 25 Feb 2018, 14:24, archived)
Or wanting to buy chocolates

(, Sun 25 Feb 2018, 14:39, archived)
Ok
 
(, Sun 25 Feb 2018, 10:25, archived)
Ok

(, Sun 25 Feb 2018, 10:36, archived)
Two Hats new place:
Gates of Hell
(, Sun 25 Feb 2018, 10:53, archived)
That is tasteful.

(, Sun 25 Feb 2018, 11:34, archived)
"Those who disrespect females "

(, Sun 25 Feb 2018, 12:32, archived)
pretentious toss

(, Sun 25 Feb 2018, 16:21, archived)
Difficult to wank to
but I like a challenge
(, Sun 25 Feb 2018, 17:31, archived)
So feminism is screaming and wanking? I'm well feminist then.

(, Sun 25 Feb 2018, 18:06, archived)
Send them to b3ta...
Look ladies, another joke about Trump. He's ORANGE! Now THAT is art. Leave it to the lads then get back in the kitchen.
(, Sun 25 Feb 2018, 18:12, archived)
Ween

(, Sat 24 Feb 2018, 22:02, archived)
Ok

(, Sat 24 Feb 2018, 22:48, archived)
Ok

(, Sat 24 Feb 2018, 22:59, archived)
Ok

(, Sat 24 Feb 2018, 23:05, archived)
eh?

(, Sun 25 Feb 2018, 0:04, archived)
Ween

(, Sun 25 Feb 2018, 0:16, archived)
idgi either

(, Sun 25 Feb 2018, 2:17, archived)
Ok

(, Sun 25 Feb 2018, 0:16, archived)
Cheers

(, Sun 25 Feb 2018, 1:47, archived)
ok

(, Sun 25 Feb 2018, 7:05, archived)
Alright wobblers?
I've had a great day and I'm a bit pissed. You wanna go?
(, Sat 24 Feb 2018, 19:24, archived)
Yeah alright, where we going?

(, Sat 24 Feb 2018, 19:29, archived)
I'm going down the Punter.
Got Stella 4 on at 3 quid a pint until they run out.
(, Sat 24 Feb 2018, 19:42, archived)
sure
you better drive though.
(, Sat 24 Feb 2018, 19:34, archived)
I'll get us a cab. Danno at Royal cars is a mate.

(, Sat 24 Feb 2018, 19:42, archived)
Do you ring him up and ask him to "book 'em" for you?

(, Sat 24 Feb 2018, 19:48, archived)
No. Because I'm not a prick

(, Sat 24 Feb 2018, 19:56, archived)
cool

(, Sat 24 Feb 2018, 19:50, archived)
9 on the corner?

(, Sat 24 Feb 2018, 19:56, archived)
I'll be there with Beansie

(, Sat 24 Feb 2018, 20:03, archived)
You cunts always do this, it's fucking freezing and I'm strolling, you better drop me off later

(, Sat 24 Feb 2018, 20:07, archived)
Soz, danno says he'll get polish Tom to drop you back when we're done.

(, Sat 24 Feb 2018, 20:09, archived)
remember when everyone was saying mem?
lol
(, Sat 24 Feb 2018, 12:21, archived)
trufax

(, Sat 24 Feb 2018, 12:23, archived)
Before my time

(, Sat 24 Feb 2018, 12:45, archived)
qwertz

(, Sat 24 Feb 2018, 12:50, archived)
qwantz

(, Sat 24 Feb 2018, 14:23, archived)
thanks for discussing Taskmaster yesterday
I had a good laugh watching people eat melon
(, Sat 24 Feb 2018, 15:10, archived)
romesh's approach to that task made me choke on my drink

(, Sat 24 Feb 2018, 15:55, archived)
I never found him that funny before
but the fury with which he approached that task has astounded me
(, Sat 24 Feb 2018, 18:00, archived)
it's a great show

(, Sat 24 Feb 2018, 18:56, archived)
idgi

(, Sat 24 Feb 2018, 14:02, archived)
Mem-ries

(, Sat 24 Feb 2018, 14:16, archived)
mem, 'member?

(, Sat 24 Feb 2018, 14:18, archived)
lol waki

(, Sat 24 Feb 2018, 14:43, archived)
unfortunately yes

(, Sat 24 Feb 2018, 14:54, archived)
The guard fell off me beard trimmer.
I no longer have a beard.
(, Sat 24 Feb 2018, 15:07, archived)
gutted

(, Sat 24 Feb 2018, 15:33, archived)
this could be a good thing

(, Sat 24 Feb 2018, 15:45, archived)
I just trimmed mine then decided to keep going and have a hair cut
1/2" all over, slightly longer on top. i look like action man now. (lol cos i cut my nob off lol)
(, Sat 24 Feb 2018, 16:07, archived)
The guard fell off my clippers once and I took a chunk out of the back of my hair so I shaved it all off
then we went to a wedding and someone asked my wife if I was recovering from chemo lol
(, Sat 24 Feb 2018, 18:32, archived)
Remember when wanky wank wank wanky wanky wank wank?

(, Sat 24 Feb 2018, 16:10, archived)
The good ol' days

(, Sat 24 Feb 2018, 17:03, archived)
remember when the thick one out of vicar of dibley was still alive?

(, Sat 24 Feb 2018, 17:46, archived)
RIP

(, Sat 24 Feb 2018, 17:58, archived)
Shame that, no age

(, Sat 24 Feb 2018, 18:04, archived)
right? i thought i must have misread the headline

(, Sat 24 Feb 2018, 18:55, archived)
Be my time soon

(, Sat 24 Feb 2018, 19:28, archived)
don't fear the reaper

(, Sat 24 Feb 2018, 19:54, archived)
It is morning.

(, Sat 24 Feb 2018, 7:27, archived)
It is.
I have coffee and a fruit muffin.
(, Sat 24 Feb 2018, 8:02, archived)
Waiting for Rip van Wifle to wake up so we can have breakfast

(, Sat 24 Feb 2018, 9:33, archived)
Going up an old Jewish lady's loft, in a bit.
Make of that what you will.
(, Sat 24 Feb 2018, 8:16, archived)
They found Anne Frank years ago

(, Sat 24 Feb 2018, 8:21, archived)
She won't need this Hide & Seek trophy, then.

(, Sat 24 Feb 2018, 8:43, archived)

going up haunting
loft arse
(, Sat 24 Feb 2018, 11:18, archived)
Alright,

(, Sat 24 Feb 2018, 8:20, archived)
Been up hours, might have a beer

(, Sat 24 Feb 2018, 9:34, archived)
Carpe diem.

(, Sat 24 Feb 2018, 10:33, archived)
Morning.

(, Sat 24 Feb 2018, 8:42, archived)
That it is
Been for a walk in the sunshine but it has failed to lift my spirits. I don't feel like leaving the house again but have to face a swanky dinner out with a load of people I don't know later.
(, Sat 24 Feb 2018, 9:36, archived)
I feel for you and little len
It's not easy dealing with a loonie
(, Sat 24 Feb 2018, 9:45, archived)
yawning

(, Sat 24 Feb 2018, 9:36, archived)
Indeed it is

(, Sat 24 Feb 2018, 11:09, archived)
Alright.
There's a film festival on here at the minute but I'm clear until 8pm, I've been reasonably occupied the last few weekends so feel like I'm at a bit of a loose end.
(, Sat 24 Feb 2018, 11:23, archived)
Lelz.
I slept until midday this morning. Take that, sleep deficit.
(, Sat 24 Feb 2018, 11:34, archived)
I wanted to catch up on sleep but woke up at 8am needing a shit. Woe is me.

(, Sat 24 Feb 2018, 11:36, archived)
Stupid sexy human body sometimes.

(, Sat 24 Feb 2018, 11:59, archived)
Aye, at least it had the decency to wake me up I suppose.

(, Sat 24 Feb 2018, 12:03, archived)
The joys of not being old.

(, Sat 24 Feb 2018, 12:09, archived)
bullshit

(, Sat 24 Feb 2018, 12:18, archived)
Alright tangled, have a go of this.
yazzahmed.bandcamp.com/album/la-saboteuse-2
(, Sat 24 Feb 2018, 12:22, archived)
It's good this
www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ca93bp-jpn8
(, Sat 24 Feb 2018, 0:14, archived)
idk i don't mind that bonobo stuff but it seems to lack urgency or passion
or saink
(, Sat 24 Feb 2018, 1:03, archived)
WHISTLE TEST!!

(, Fri 23 Feb 2018, 21:03, archived)
Old grey ?

(, Fri 23 Feb 2018, 21:23, archived)
Yeah. 3 hours of questionable stuff.

(, Fri 23 Feb 2018, 21:57, archived)
i dunno
this thread will probably last longer than that
(, Fri 23 Feb 2018, 22:42, archived)

1. What bird appears in the name of the whistle used throughout the Keith Papworth track "Victorian Vintage", used in the 1978 film "Dawn of the Dead"?

2. What does a football referee blowing his whistle three times traditionally signify?

3. What could siblings Elspeth and Angus summon by blowing their Thistle Whistles?

4. In which 1944 film did Lauren Bacall deliver her famous "whistle" line?
(, Fri 23 Feb 2018, 21:24, archived)
I only know two for Def , the Lauren one I know I know, it'll come to me, the first one I have no idea

(, Fri 23 Feb 2018, 21:28, archived)
I read number one wrong, I thought you wanted to identify a birds whistle used in the film

(, Fri 23 Feb 2018, 21:32, archived)
Probably not many birds in whistles, I'm hardly an expert tho

(, Fri 23 Feb 2018, 21:36, archived)
God, imagine that on your CV
"Whistle Expert"
(, Fri 23 Feb 2018, 21:45, archived)
The has been some famous ones

(, Fri 23 Feb 2018, 21:56, archived)
Women are allowed to wear suits now, it's political correctness gone mad

(, Fri 23 Feb 2018, 22:08, archived)
Big shoulder pads tho

(, Fri 23 Feb 2018, 22:17, archived)
Is 2 full time?

(, Fri 23 Feb 2018, 21:57, archived)
Yeah

(, Fri 23 Feb 2018, 22:01, archived)
Wow.
This is going down in history as a football question to which I actually knew the answer.
(, Fri 23 Feb 2018, 22:52, archived)

5. Name the Disney cartoon featuring seven whistlers.

6. Which Guns N' Roses song opens with a few seconds of whistling?

7. Name the Enid Blyton character.
(, Fri 23 Feb 2018, 21:27, archived)
I tested mine
It's definitely a whistle
(, Fri 23 Feb 2018, 21:51, archived)
mem

(, Fri 23 Feb 2018, 22:01, archived)
8. the theft of the painting 'whistler's mother' is central to the plot of which 1997 film?

9. how many secret whistles are hidden throughout super mario bros 3

10. which american cereal gave away toy whistles that could be used for 'phone phreaking'
(, Fri 23 Feb 2018, 22:29, archived)
ooh! I know one!
10
(, Fri 23 Feb 2018, 22:46, archived)
11. In fact don't take it seriously we're only buggin'
Who are we?
(, Fri 23 Feb 2018, 22:36, archived)
I already posted this but you delolted
www.b3ta.com/talk/8154143
(, Fri 23 Feb 2018, 22:39, archived)
We're being left behind bruh

(, Fri 23 Feb 2018, 22:41, archived)
In fairness Cut Chemist is an amazing dj

(, Fri 23 Feb 2018, 22:51, archived)
Loved it almost as much as I loved the comments below

(, Fri 23 Feb 2018, 23:09, archived)

12. How do builders on a site traditionally express their approval of an attractive passing woman?
(, Fri 23 Feb 2018, 22:37, archived)
13. The thistle *what* is the method of summoning the Family Neß?

(, Fri 23 Feb 2018, 22:39, archived)
come on, man
this is just a rewording of an earlier question
(, Fri 23 Feb 2018, 22:41, archived)
I have dribble on 2.0 m8

(, Fri 23 Feb 2018, 22:45, archived)
fair fucks then

(, Fri 23 Feb 2018, 23:11, archived)
14. what word rhymes with fucking 'gristle', you cunt

(, Fri 23 Feb 2018, 23:13, archived)
epistle

(, Fri 23 Feb 2018, 23:15, archived)
sorry, you have answered incorrectly
this was the simplest question in what was clearly marked as a whistle based test. you are terminally thick. please surrender all sharp objects
(, Fri 23 Feb 2018, 23:21, archived)
What if it's an epistle in silbo gomero?

(, Fri 23 Feb 2018, 23:25, archived)
thread of world peace and universal love
you can say mem
(, Fri 23 Feb 2018, 19:09, archived)
World peace, you say?
Sounds a bit gay
(, Fri 23 Feb 2018, 19:14, archived)
get bent

(, Fri 23 Feb 2018, 20:10, archived)
+Don't for
+to put your
e i
+s out tonigh
(, Fri 23 Feb 2018, 20:18, archived)
Respect.

(, Fri 23 Feb 2018, 20:20, archived)
I don't want to say "mem".

(, Fri 23 Feb 2018, 20:21, archived)
SAY IT YOU SLAAAAGGGG

(, Fri 23 Feb 2018, 20:32, archived)

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