Gonz has posted a photo of a pregnant woman standing up on a tube carriage on the Shit London FB page
and one of the replies is "Are you some kind of special pervert?"
I dun a lol.
( , Thu 22 Mar 2018, 17:37, archived)
and one of the replies is "Are you some kind of special pervert?"
I dun a lol.
( , Thu 22 Mar 2018, 17:37, archived)
Still chilly
How much longer until it starts warming up, do you reckon? My mum says that the temperature's due to drop again over easter, but I've not read that anywhere.
( , Thu 22 Mar 2018, 14:49, archived)
How much longer until it starts warming up, do you reckon? My mum says that the temperature's due to drop again over easter, but I've not read that anywhere.
( , Thu 22 Mar 2018, 14:49, archived)
So I guess my question is this;
Is my mum full of fucken shit?
( , Thu 22 Mar 2018, 14:50, archived)
Is my mum full of fucken shit?
( , Thu 22 Mar 2018, 14:50, archived)
i thought of you this morning as i left for work
mainly because my blue headphones were tangled though
( , Thu 22 Mar 2018, 15:16, archived)
mainly because my blue headphones were tangled though
( , Thu 22 Mar 2018, 15:16, archived)
( , Thu 22 Mar 2018, 14:57, archived)
He's got an arduino nerd machine that f5s every page on b3ta constantly and alerts him of new posts.
( , Thu 22 Mar 2018, 15:23, archived)
( , Thu 22 Mar 2018, 15:23, archived)
Poor grrry
And for monolith www.gq-magazine.co.uk/gallery/best-watches-baselworld-2018
( , Thu 22 Mar 2018, 14:59, archived)
And for monolith www.gq-magazine.co.uk/gallery/best-watches-baselworld-2018
( , Thu 22 Mar 2018, 14:59, archived)
yeah the chopard for me too
the aquanaut is too ladylike though and windy's choice looks more like it's for young people
( , Thu 22 Mar 2018, 15:11, archived)
the aquanaut is too ladylike though and windy's choice looks more like it's for young people
( , Thu 22 Mar 2018, 15:11, archived)
I find it odd that they've done a Pepsi black bay and rolex have done a Pepsi gmt in ss
( , Thu 22 Mar 2018, 15:12, archived)
( , Thu 22 Mar 2018, 15:12, archived)
the pepsi rolex reminds me of a fake tag heuer my dad once bought back for me from america
( , Thu 22 Mar 2018, 15:14, archived)
( , Thu 22 Mar 2018, 15:14, archived)
gotta say i'm not that taken with any of them, to be honest
maybe i'm just a philistine
( , Thu 22 Mar 2018, 15:10, archived)
maybe i'm just a philistine
( , Thu 22 Mar 2018, 15:10, archived)
Another popular post from yesterday, who is scrolling through reading all the shit we type from yesterday.
( , Thu 22 Mar 2018, 16:02, archived)
( , Thu 22 Mar 2018, 16:02, archived)
Asks the man who is bored enough to be perusing the Popular page.
( , Thu 22 Mar 2018, 16:11, archived)
( , Thu 22 Mar 2018, 16:11, archived)
you have to touch them with your thumb just so if you want them to make the squealy noise m8
( , Thu 22 Mar 2018, 14:27, archived)
( , Thu 22 Mar 2018, 14:27, archived)
If I poured milk all over your kitchen worktop, sprinked cereal in the puddle and then perched a bowl on top
that's not a fucking breakfast is it
( , Thu 22 Mar 2018, 14:26, archived)
that's not a fucking breakfast is it
( , Thu 22 Mar 2018, 14:26, archived)
i mean, arguably it is
but i don't think the two examples are comparable anyway
( , Thu 22 Mar 2018, 14:38, archived)
but i don't think the two examples are comparable anyway
( , Thu 22 Mar 2018, 14:38, archived)
any exciting baselworld news today?
i forgot to google the stuff you mentioned yesterday, soz
( , Thu 22 Mar 2018, 14:39, archived)
i forgot to google the stuff you mentioned yesterday, soz
( , Thu 22 Mar 2018, 14:39, archived)
btw windy, I noticed as soon as your post got on the populol page
( , Thu 22 Mar 2018, 15:08, archived)
( , Thu 22 Mar 2018, 15:08, archived)
Remember to take regular, 20 minute breaks between Zakk Wylde albums
( , Thu 22 Mar 2018, 7:43, archived)
( , Thu 22 Mar 2018, 7:43, archived)
I've had enough of that chubby rock viking for a bit
it was a good gig but the piano section ruined it.
( , Thu 22 Mar 2018, 7:47, archived)
it was a good gig but the piano section ruined it.
( , Thu 22 Mar 2018, 7:47, archived)
Ah well, glad you enjoyed yourself
'member when guns n roses started using an orchestra? Ah, the early 90's
( , Thu 22 Mar 2018, 7:50, archived)
'member when guns n roses started using an orchestra? Ah, the early 90's
( , Thu 22 Mar 2018, 7:50, archived)
there was very much a November Rain feel to it at that point.
and like GnR's later output, I am also producing some particularly noxious guffs.
( , Thu 22 Mar 2018, 7:51, archived)
and like GnR's later output, I am also producing some particularly noxious guffs.
( , Thu 22 Mar 2018, 7:51, archived)
you're being over generous
they barely had one album in them at their 'peak'
( , Thu 22 Mar 2018, 8:55, archived)
they barely had one album in them at their 'peak'
( , Thu 22 Mar 2018, 8:55, archived)
that's arguably true
Appetite is the boy, Lies was an EP with a couple of extras, then UYI. Yep, one decent album. The defence rests, your honour.
( , Thu 22 Mar 2018, 9:00, archived)
Appetite is the boy, Lies was an EP with a couple of extras, then UYI. Yep, one decent album. The defence rests, your honour.
( , Thu 22 Mar 2018, 9:00, archived)
Someone listed an item to sell on my ebay account
Fucking thing. I'm cancelling it.
( , Thu 22 Mar 2018, 7:41, archived)
Fucking thing. I'm cancelling it.
( , Thu 22 Mar 2018, 7:41, archived)
Well, I had a couple days off and it's all gone to shit at work.
( , Thu 22 Mar 2018, 7:38, archived)
( , Thu 22 Mar 2018, 7:38, archived)
Nah. They're alright, they fired one guy and the other chap is on suspension.
Got to wait until somebody turns in to find out. I'm on my own in the workshop as the apprentices are at college Thursdays.
( , Thu 22 Mar 2018, 7:50, archived)
Got to wait until somebody turns in to find out. I'm on my own in the workshop as the apprentices are at college Thursdays.
( , Thu 22 Mar 2018, 7:50, archived)
one encroached on the other's drug-dealing turf and they battled it out
( , Thu 22 Mar 2018, 7:52, archived)
( , Thu 22 Mar 2018, 7:52, archived)
Someone will come in and say that they've all been fired at the request of the new owner
"New owner?" says Windy. Then, in strolls a man wearing a dark suit and tie. Camera slowly pans up....IT'S ONLY GERALD!?!?!
( , Thu 22 Mar 2018, 7:55, archived)
"New owner?" says Windy. Then, in strolls a man wearing a dark suit and tie. Camera slowly pans up....IT'S ONLY GERALD!?!?!
( , Thu 22 Mar 2018, 7:55, archived)
it wouldn't surprise me if all of windy's team
were just ferns with googly eyes on. No-one's been fired, but windy heard "one's been binned and the other's in the hothouse" (because nobody watered them in Windy's absence) and he's jumped to conclusions.
( , Thu 22 Mar 2018, 8:13, archived)
were just ferns with googly eyes on. No-one's been fired, but windy heard "one's been binned and the other's in the hothouse" (because nobody watered them in Windy's absence) and he's jumped to conclusions.
( , Thu 22 Mar 2018, 8:13, archived)
Did they ensorcel a mop
to clean up the workshop. But the magic got out of hand and the mop duplicated itsel, smashed the place up and attempted to drown a mouse?
( , Thu 22 Mar 2018, 8:25, archived)
to clean up the workshop. But the magic got out of hand and the mop duplicated itsel, smashed the place up and attempted to drown a mouse?
( , Thu 22 Mar 2018, 8:25, archived)
I've got a bad case of vodka and coke shits
they're red and they have podka dots on :(
( , Thu 22 Mar 2018, 9:00, archived)
they're red and they have podka dots on :(
( , Thu 22 Mar 2018, 9:00, archived)
I've got a business meeting in ten minutes
I'll get back on it as soon as that's dealt with.
( , Thu 22 Mar 2018, 9:17, archived)
I'll get back on it as soon as that's dealt with.
( , Thu 22 Mar 2018, 9:17, archived)
mongy, I've told you about this sort of behaviour :(
www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-london-43494028
( , Wed 21 Mar 2018, 21:21, archived)
www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-london-43494028
( , Wed 21 Mar 2018, 21:21, archived)
Serves him right for mugging David Dickinson and stealing all his fake tan.
( , Wed 21 Mar 2018, 21:53, archived)
( , Wed 21 Mar 2018, 21:53, archived)
"at about 13:00 GMT"
If only he'd had some way of knowing the exact time.
( , Wed 21 Mar 2018, 22:15, archived)
If only he'd had some way of knowing the exact time.
( , Wed 21 Mar 2018, 22:15, archived)
I just bothered reading it, croydon ain't sarf East lahndahn for a start, but I like the fact he had a muller, I'd assume a mille
( , Wed 21 Mar 2018, 22:27, archived)
( , Wed 21 Mar 2018, 22:27, archived)
I've just had to write a list of all 'foreigners' I've known in the past 20 years
It was pretty short because I'm a billy no-mates. At the risk of starting the shittest thread in history, what's your list and what's on it?
( , Wed 21 Mar 2018, 14:05, archived)
It was pretty short because I'm a billy no-mates. At the risk of starting the shittest thread in history, what's your list and what's on it?
( , Wed 21 Mar 2018, 14:05, archived)
Things that need doing around the house
Everything I look at just uncovers another 20 things.
( , Wed 21 Mar 2018, 14:06, archived)
Everything I look at just uncovers another 20 things.
( , Wed 21 Mar 2018, 14:06, archived)
I keep getting told that we're in no rush
but, and in my best Veruca Salt voice, I want it noooooooow.
( , Wed 21 Mar 2018, 14:07, archived)
but, and in my best Veruca Salt voice, I want it noooooooow.
( , Wed 21 Mar 2018, 14:07, archived)
I know what you mean
I'm planning a complete renovation next summer and keep thinking I can do it bit by bit, but in order to do A you have to do B first which requires C which only makes sense if you do A at the same time, so I can't win.
( , Wed 21 Mar 2018, 14:18, archived)
I'm planning a complete renovation next summer and keep thinking I can do it bit by bit, but in order to do A you have to do B first which requires C which only makes sense if you do A at the same time, so I can't win.
( , Wed 21 Mar 2018, 14:18, archived)
I keep a big list of passwords in plaintext on my home PC.
I should probably add "password manager" to my "to do" list.
( , Wed 21 Mar 2018, 14:13, archived)
I should probably add "password manager" to my "to do" list.
( , Wed 21 Mar 2018, 14:13, archived)
I keep a list, but in a cryptic reference
like "that vegetable inverted excitedly" mean Baccages!
( , Wed 21 Mar 2018, 14:15, archived)
like "that vegetable inverted excitedly" mean Baccages!
( , Wed 21 Mar 2018, 14:15, archived)
I used to get quotes e upset about text adventures, too.
When the solution to not dying in one game was to flip over a mattress and drink from an exposed spring, I pretty much vowed never to bother with one ever again.
( , Wed 21 Mar 2018, 14:23, archived)
When the solution to not dying in one game was to flip over a mattress and drink from an exposed spring, I pretty much vowed never to bother with one ever again.
( , Wed 21 Mar 2018, 14:23, archived)
^^this is why you weren't very good at text adventures m10-6+4
( , Wed 21 Mar 2018, 14:26, archived)
( , Wed 21 Mar 2018, 14:26, archived)
I've been waiting, for a list like this
to come in to my life.
( , Wed 21 Mar 2018, 14:19, archived)
to come in to my life.
( , Wed 21 Mar 2018, 14:19, archived)
Why do they call it Ovaltine? The mug is round. The jar is round. They should call it Roundtine.
( , Wed 21 Mar 2018, 14:34, archived)
( , Wed 21 Mar 2018, 14:34, archived)
google tells me the swiss name was Ovumaltine
which just makes me think of Homer pretending to play Lisa's saxophone
( , Wed 21 Mar 2018, 14:57, archived)
which just makes me think of Homer pretending to play Lisa's saxophone
( , Wed 21 Mar 2018, 14:57, archived)
if there's marmite for people who like it, why isn't there marmightn't for those who don't?
( , Wed 21 Mar 2018, 15:21, archived)
( , Wed 21 Mar 2018, 15:21, archived)
I bought my brother and his wife some special gravy when they got married
Bisandbersto
( , Wed 21 Mar 2018, 15:34, archived)
Bisandbersto
( , Wed 21 Mar 2018, 15:34, archived)
Wanked into a turkey baster and impregnated his missus, more like.
( , Wed 21 Mar 2018, 16:02, archived)
( , Wed 21 Mar 2018, 16:02, archived)
Happy international downs syndrome day everyone!
World Down Syndrome Day (WDSD) is observed on March 21. On this day, people with Down syndrome and those who live and work with them throughout the world organize and participate in activities and events to raise public awareness and create a single global voice for advocating for the rights, inclusion and well being of people with Down syndrome.
( , Wed 21 Mar 2018, 14:43, archived)
World Down Syndrome Day (WDSD) is observed on March 21. On this day, people with Down syndrome and those who live and work with them throughout the world organize and participate in activities and events to raise public awareness and create a single global voice for advocating for the rights, inclusion and well being of people with Down syndrome.
( , Wed 21 Mar 2018, 14:43, archived)
How are you celebrating?
I'm going to put on a propeller hat, hold a Kit Kat until the chocolate melts all over my hand then offer it to people while dribbling.
( , Wed 21 Mar 2018, 14:50, archived)
videos that i need to replace with dvd's
just over 300 done, only about 40 to go
( , Wed 21 Mar 2018, 15:20, archived)
just over 300 done, only about 40 to go
( , Wed 21 Mar 2018, 15:20, archived)
once you're finished with that you can transfer all your magnetic cassettes to minidisc.
( , Wed 21 Mar 2018, 15:23, archived)
( , Wed 21 Mar 2018, 15:23, archived)
fuck that, i'll never be finished
i can't go shopping without seeing a new film i have to buy
( , Wed 21 Mar 2018, 15:30, archived)
i can't go shopping without seeing a new film i have to buy
( , Wed 21 Mar 2018, 15:30, archived)
Take up a lot of space, though.
All my dvd shelves will go when we redecorate, and all the DVDs will be consigned to the loft.
I'll still buy and rip, rather than download, though. I've bought a few films through Amazon Prime Video, but that always feels like more of a long term loan.
( , Wed 21 Mar 2018, 15:57, archived)
All my dvd shelves will go when we redecorate, and all the DVDs will be consigned to the loft.
I'll still buy and rip, rather than download, though. I've bought a few films through Amazon Prime Video, but that always feels like more of a long term loan.
( , Wed 21 Mar 2018, 15:57, archived)
I ditched all of my VHSs about 15 years ago
because of the fucking storage space they took up. It was ridiculous. Then, when we moved, I gave a couple of hundred dvd's to the charity shop.
( , Wed 21 Mar 2018, 15:54, archived)
because of the fucking storage space they took up. It was ridiculous. Then, when we moved, I gave a couple of hundred dvd's to the charity shop.
( , Wed 21 Mar 2018, 15:54, archived)
Friend of a friend (of a friend, etc) put out a call for "anything on VHS" when they found themselves with a vcr and plenty of spare time.
My brother had a betamax deck during his year in Spain, with about 3 tapes and no hope of acquiring more.
( , Wed 21 Mar 2018, 16:00, archived)
My brother had a betamax deck during his year in Spain, with about 3 tapes and no hope of acquiring more.
( , Wed 21 Mar 2018, 16:00, archived)
When I got rid of mine, they were in open boxes in my flat
so whenever someone came round, they could help themselves. The dvds all ended up in the loft, hence why they got ditched when we moved. I'm not moving pointless shit from one loft to another.
( , Wed 21 Mar 2018, 16:03, archived)
so whenever someone came round, they could help themselves. The dvds all ended up in the loft, hence why they got ditched when we moved. I'm not moving pointless shit from one loft to another.
( , Wed 21 Mar 2018, 16:03, archived)
I think there's a fair few I boxes in my loft that have gone unopened between moves.
Reckon they'll only ever get sorted if we decide to get the loft converted into a room.
Then again, we've got 2 lofts, so they could just get shifted to the smaller one.
( , Wed 21 Mar 2018, 16:07, archived)
Reckon they'll only ever get sorted if we decide to get the loft converted into a room.
Then again, we've got 2 lofts, so they could just get shifted to the smaller one.
( , Wed 21 Mar 2018, 16:07, archived)
We've got a much smaller loft now
so a strict rule has been put in place. Christmas decorations and luggage only. If there's no room for it in the house, it goes in the bin.
( , Wed 21 Mar 2018, 16:15, archived)
so a strict rule has been put in place. Christmas decorations and luggage only. If there's no room for it in the house, it goes in the bin.
( , Wed 21 Mar 2018, 16:15, archived)
I found a carrier bag full of baby shoes, Ems
The amount of shit that got thrown up there was infuriating.
( , Wed 21 Mar 2018, 16:26, archived)
The amount of shit that got thrown up there was infuriating.
( , Wed 21 Mar 2018, 16:26, archived)
i keep them to remind me of what needs replacing
then they're gone
( , Wed 21 Mar 2018, 16:10, archived)
then they're gone
( , Wed 21 Mar 2018, 16:10, archived)
But then if there's a chance of you forgetting what films you had
do you really need them at all?
( , Wed 21 Mar 2018, 16:16, archived)
do you really need them at all?
( , Wed 21 Mar 2018, 16:16, archived)
Maybe it's so that she'll get a nice surprise when choosing something to watch?
( , Wed 21 Mar 2018, 16:25, archived)
( , Wed 21 Mar 2018, 16:25, archived)
nobody appears to have asked you yet why you had to do that,
so i'm gonna. why did you have to do that, Grrry?
( , Wed 21 Mar 2018, 16:08, archived)
so i'm gonna. why did you have to do that, Grrry?
( , Wed 21 Mar 2018, 16:08, archived)
The missus needs super top secret mega global security permissions for her job
so they need to run background checks on everyone. Dunno whether my brother's habit of permanently borrowing other people's cars is going to fuck it up.
( , Wed 21 Mar 2018, 16:12, archived)
so they need to run background checks on everyone. Dunno whether my brother's habit of permanently borrowing other people's cars is going to fuck it up.
( , Wed 21 Mar 2018, 16:12, archived)
When I worked at L*gica I was supposed to get BS clearance and could apply for SC if I wanted.
But I just didn't fill the forms in and nobody asked me about it.
( , Wed 21 Mar 2018, 19:03, archived)
But I just didn't fill the forms in and nobody asked me about it.
( , Wed 21 Mar 2018, 19:03, archived)
My father-in-law is a known communist agitator, which would probably prevent me holding a position of any of the more sensitive areas of public service.
He's also banned from Israel, which might make travel to the US difficult, I presume.
( , Wed 21 Mar 2018, 16:29, archived)
He's also banned from Israel, which might make travel to the US difficult, I presume.
( , Wed 21 Mar 2018, 16:29, archived)
well i care.
i went to see the Care Bears movie at the cinema when it came out, so i'm all up on the cares
( , Wed 21 Mar 2018, 16:36, archived)
i went to see the Care Bears movie at the cinema when it came out, so i'm all up on the cares
( , Wed 21 Mar 2018, 16:36, archived)
It's only day one, but I like the new root beer looking gmt, I like tudors version of the Pepsi gmt more than rollies
( , Wed 21 Mar 2018, 18:20, archived)
( , Wed 21 Mar 2018, 18:20, archived)
I'm worried sick about Ant & Dec
Ant is battling with demons, and I'm not confident that Dec can sustain a solo career. I'm so worried, you guys.
What are YOU worried about? *rings hands*
( , Wed 21 Mar 2018, 12:01, archived)
Ant is battling with demons, and I'm not confident that Dec can sustain a solo career. I'm so worried, you guys.
What are YOU worried about? *rings hands*
( , Wed 21 Mar 2018, 12:01, archived)
don't knock it till you've tried it
mcbeef did it once and has never looked back, it's become a part of his daily routine now
( , Wed 21 Mar 2018, 12:12, archived)
mcbeef did it once and has never looked back, it's become a part of his daily routine now
( , Wed 21 Mar 2018, 12:12, archived)
I hope he has one of those 80s leotards that rides really high on the hips
lol tard
( , Wed 21 Mar 2018, 12:23, archived)
lol tard
( , Wed 21 Mar 2018, 12:23, archived)
my kitchen will suffer complete collapse before I get the chance to renovate it properly
I''m definitely cooking on borrowed time.
( , Wed 21 Mar 2018, 12:07, archived)
I''m definitely cooking on borrowed time.
( , Wed 21 Mar 2018, 12:07, archived)
Man survived for thousands of years without a kitchen m8, you just need to put your hunter gatherer hat on
( , Wed 21 Mar 2018, 12:08, archived)
( , Wed 21 Mar 2018, 12:08, archived)
i'm worried about
heat death
dark flow
the cosmic event horizon coming closer and closer
herpes
( , Wed 21 Mar 2018, 14:07, archived)
heat death
dark flow
the cosmic event horizon coming closer and closer
herpes
( , Wed 21 Mar 2018, 14:07, archived)
hello Herr Winders
happy Mother's Day to all our Lebanese /talkers and happy Harmony Day to all our Australian /talkers. If you're from Namibia, happy Independence Day
( , Wed 21 Mar 2018, 7:18, archived)
happy Mother's Day to all our Lebanese /talkers and happy Harmony Day to all our Australian /talkers. If you're from Namibia, happy Independence Day
( , Wed 21 Mar 2018, 7:18, archived)
What fantastic days of celebration for our international borders.
( , Wed 21 Mar 2018, 7:21, archived)
( , Wed 21 Mar 2018, 7:21, archived)
because their holiday today is shared by other some countries and I didn't want to spam this board with international gibberish
( , Wed 21 Mar 2018, 9:33, archived)
( , Wed 21 Mar 2018, 9:33, archived)
Morning, Windy.
Didn't need to kickstart the boiler, this morning, so woke up in a warm house for a change. Feels like winning.
( , Wed 21 Mar 2018, 7:27, archived)
Didn't need to kickstart the boiler, this morning, so woke up in a warm house for a change. Feels like winning.
( , Wed 21 Mar 2018, 7:27, archived)
I know you're a sparky not a plumber
but boilers don't make little baby boilers m8
( , Wed 21 Mar 2018, 7:51, archived)
but boilers don't make little baby boilers m8
( , Wed 21 Mar 2018, 7:51, archived)
Had it seen to, fairly recently, for a different problem,
and the plumber reckoned we'd likely keep having trouble on account of it being too small a boiler for the size of the house.
No doubt we'll call him back out to work whatever dark magic it is that makes boilers go, and he can tell me the same thing again.
( , Wed 21 Mar 2018, 8:52, archived)
and the plumber reckoned we'd likely keep having trouble on account of it being too small a boiler for the size of the house.
No doubt we'll call him back out to work whatever dark magic it is that makes boilers go, and he can tell me the same thing again.
( , Wed 21 Mar 2018, 8:52, archived)
Alright.
Slept the sleep of the dead last night. Woke up with a trapped nerve in my back. Wank.
( , Wed 21 Mar 2018, 7:35, archived)
Slept the sleep of the dead last night. Woke up with a trapped nerve in my back. Wank.
( , Wed 21 Mar 2018, 7:35, archived)
I'm creaky too
kid wouldn't sleep so I had to try and get in a single bed with her, sleeping on my side all night like a fucking student bunking up with some drunk slag he's just picked up.
( , Wed 21 Mar 2018, 7:46, archived)
kid wouldn't sleep so I had to try and get in a single bed with her, sleeping on my side all night like a fucking student bunking up with some drunk slag he's just picked up.
( , Wed 21 Mar 2018, 7:46, archived)
I've still earnt my right to moan about them for the rest of eternity
( , Wed 21 Mar 2018, 7:51, archived)
( , Wed 21 Mar 2018, 7:51, archived)
I'd just let mine crawl into my bed, when they were like that.
While they're little, a double bed is just about big enough to accommodate 2 + 1.
( , Wed 21 Mar 2018, 8:55, archived)
While they're little, a double bed is just about big enough to accommodate 2 + 1.
( , Wed 21 Mar 2018, 8:55, archived)
^ rose tinted spectacles, overlooking the many mornings where I'd wakeup on the edge of my own bed, without any duvet
( , Wed 21 Mar 2018, 9:05, archived)
( , Wed 21 Mar 2018, 9:05, archived)
It sleeps downstairs, we're upstairs
so someone has to take the depressing trudge down for the inevitable 4am screamathon.
( , Wed 21 Mar 2018, 9:08, archived)
so someone has to take the depressing trudge down for the inevitable 4am screamathon.
( , Wed 21 Mar 2018, 9:08, archived)
"My dogs are like my babies!"
Your biological clock just wound down.
( , Wed 21 Mar 2018, 9:18, archived)
Your biological clock just wound down.
( , Wed 21 Mar 2018, 9:18, archived)
It's been a bit full on at chez pig for a couple of days,
I've got today off and already feel the tension falling away as I sort things out.
( , Wed 21 Mar 2018, 8:17, archived)
I've got today off and already feel the tension falling away as I sort things out.
( , Wed 21 Mar 2018, 8:17, archived)
What might be right for you, may not be right for some
as diff'rent strokes said
( , Wed 21 Mar 2018, 9:25, archived)
as diff'rent strokes said
( , Wed 21 Mar 2018, 9:25, archived)
Yo
There was a person of indeterminate sex dancing down the high st this morning, like not just jiggling but full on busting moves, and who can blame them? To be alive in Surrey on a Wednesday morning is truly heaven.
( , Wed 21 Mar 2018, 9:43, archived)
There was a person of indeterminate sex dancing down the high st this morning, like not just jiggling but full on busting moves, and who can blame them? To be alive in Surrey on a Wednesday morning is truly heaven.
( , Wed 21 Mar 2018, 9:43, archived)
The big watch thing starts tomorrow, meh, I don't care , clocks go forwards soon and that's better for carping, if your a wanker eh, who cares
( , Tue 20 Mar 2018, 22:39, archived)
( , Tue 20 Mar 2018, 22:39, archived)
Ambassador, you are really losing me with this whole cramming four sentences into one business.
( , Tue 20 Mar 2018, 22:40, archived)
( , Tue 20 Mar 2018, 22:40, archived)
I get a touch of the old consciousness after a couple of glasses of prune juice.
( , Tue 20 Mar 2018, 22:47, archived)
( , Tue 20 Mar 2018, 22:47, archived)
for fucks sake
www.portsmouth.co.uk/our-region/portsmouth/watch-man-spots-shadowy-figure-on-hms-victory-is-this-the-ghost-of-admiral-nelson-s-wife-1-8422793
( , Tue 20 Mar 2018, 16:54, archived)
www.portsmouth.co.uk/our-region/portsmouth/watch-man-spots-shadowy-figure-on-hms-victory-is-this-the-ghost-of-admiral-nelson-s-wife-1-8422793
( , Tue 20 Mar 2018, 16:54, archived)
this doesn't quite explain what's happened
but it's a cracking headline. Well done!
( , Tue 20 Mar 2018, 17:09, archived)
but it's a cracking headline. Well done!
( , Tue 20 Mar 2018, 17:09, archived)
I'm presuming the "ghost" is just a bloke in a dress
and that the cameraman is a complete and utter fanny
( , Tue 20 Mar 2018, 17:27, archived)
and that the cameraman is a complete and utter fanny
( , Tue 20 Mar 2018, 17:27, archived)
i mean, it doesn't help that there's a person called fanny in the news story
maybe take it back to the drawing board, eh
( , Tue 20 Mar 2018, 18:38, archived)
maybe take it back to the drawing board, eh
( , Tue 20 Mar 2018, 18:38, archived)
Put yer da's Facebook profile into the Cambridge Analitica tool and a load of Clarkson books came out.
( , Tue 20 Mar 2018, 19:32, archived)
( , Tue 20 Mar 2018, 19:32, archived)
Your connection is not secure
The website tried to negotiate an inadequate level of security.
www.portsmouth.co.uk uses security technology that is outdated and vulnerable to attack. An attacker could easily reveal information which you thought to be safe. The website administrator will need to fix the server first before you can visit the site.
Error code: NS_ERROR_NET_INADEQUATE_SECURITY
( , Tue 20 Mar 2018, 20:59, archived)
The website tried to negotiate an inadequate level of security.
www.portsmouth.co.uk uses security technology that is outdated and vulnerable to attack. An attacker could easily reveal information which you thought to be safe. The website administrator will need to fix the server first before you can visit the site.
Error code: NS_ERROR_NET_INADEQUATE_SECURITY
( , Tue 20 Mar 2018, 20:59, archived)
How many fingers have you had up your bum:
a) at once
b) ever
alt: what did/will you have for lunch?
( , Tue 20 Mar 2018, 14:52, archived)
a) at once
b) ever
alt: what did/will you have for lunch?
( , Tue 20 Mar 2018, 14:52, archived)
i'm sure he's fat and dull enough to take it
edited to add:
turns out he wasn't, lol
( , Tue 20 Mar 2018, 14:59, archived)
edited to add:
turns out he wasn't, lol
( , Tue 20 Mar 2018, 14:59, archived)
I'm enjoying living in your head , you must really have quite the thing for me
( , Tue 20 Mar 2018, 15:06, archived)
( , Tue 20 Mar 2018, 15:06, archived)
i barely notice you tbph
other sad cunts seem to like it when people take the piss out of you though
( , Tue 20 Mar 2018, 15:21, archived)
other sad cunts seem to like it when people take the piss out of you though
( , Tue 20 Mar 2018, 15:21, archived)
yeah i think so
i remember drawing this picture of you in 2013. if you look at all my comments, you barely ever feature. soz.
( , Tue 20 Mar 2018, 16:08, archived)
i remember drawing this picture of you in 2013. if you look at all my comments, you barely ever feature. soz.
( , Tue 20 Mar 2018, 16:08, archived)
'i don't think about you'
'here's a picture i did of you 5 years ago to try and upset you that i both still remember and am able to retrieve'
( , Tue 20 Mar 2018, 16:52, archived)
'here's a picture i did of you 5 years ago to try and upset you that i both still remember and am able to retrieve'
( , Tue 20 Mar 2018, 16:52, archived)
if you feel that strongly about me and you can't cope with reading my stuff, go ahead
seems odd to brag about being 'in my head' then get so upset.
( , Tue 20 Mar 2018, 17:41, archived)
seems odd to brag about being 'in my head' then get so upset.
( , Tue 20 Mar 2018, 17:41, archived)
i am able to sum up 5 years worth of interactions with one dull person in one post
and i'm not trying to upset anyone, i'm having a laugh because we have a right laugh here, remember?
( , Tue 20 Mar 2018, 17:42, archived)
and i'm not trying to upset anyone, i'm having a laugh because we have a right laugh here, remember?
( , Tue 20 Mar 2018, 17:42, archived)
so you have never been curious enough to stick your own finger up your own bum?
( , Tue 20 Mar 2018, 15:18, archived)
( , Tue 20 Mar 2018, 15:18, archived)
I can recall bending over in front of a mirror, as a kid,
to observe my anus, but I've never felt the need to have a feel around inside.
( , Tue 20 Mar 2018, 15:27, archived)
to observe my anus, but I've never felt the need to have a feel around inside.
( , Tue 20 Mar 2018, 15:27, archived)
seems strange to be so incurious.
i can understand people lying because of pride and shame, but the idea that you never stuck a digit up there, not even by accident, is more than a bit odd.
( , Tue 20 Mar 2018, 16:03, archived)
i can understand people lying because of pride and shame, but the idea that you never stuck a digit up there, not even by accident, is more than a bit odd.
( , Tue 20 Mar 2018, 16:03, archived)
none
steak sandwich.
not been here since thursday and i'm surrounded by cunts, so i'm off home again.
( , Tue 20 Mar 2018, 14:59, archived)
steak sandwich.
not been here since thursday and i'm surrounded by cunts, so i'm off home again.
( , Tue 20 Mar 2018, 14:59, archived)
I suggested to my dad that, at 65, it's time he got his prostate checked
he did not take this advice as well as I'd expected.
( , Tue 20 Mar 2018, 15:04, archived)
he did not take this advice as well as I'd expected.
( , Tue 20 Mar 2018, 15:04, archived)
full disclosure:
a: 8
b: 22, i think
going to have a bowl of soup, probably spicy parsnip.
( , Tue 20 Mar 2018, 15:25, archived)
a: 8
b: 22, i think
going to have a bowl of soup, probably spicy parsnip.
( , Tue 20 Mar 2018, 15:25, archived)
Do you know what it is?
It's because we've done ALL the topics. There's nothing left to discuss.
Discuss.
( , Tue 20 Mar 2018, 12:25, archived)
It's because we've done ALL the topics. There's nothing left to discuss.
Discuss.
( , Tue 20 Mar 2018, 12:25, archived)
have we discussed which celebrities could win each other in a to-the-death cage fight?
( , Tue 20 Mar 2018, 12:31, archived)
( , Tue 20 Mar 2018, 12:31, archived)
I reckon Portillo
Opik looks like the sort who'd drop into the foetal, crying
( , Tue 20 Mar 2018, 12:38, archived)
Opik looks like the sort who'd drop into the foetal, crying
( , Tue 20 Mar 2018, 12:38, archived)
i bet opik would pull some freaky berserker moves
and run away while portillo was trying to work out what the fuck was going on
( , Tue 20 Mar 2018, 12:40, archived)
and run away while portillo was trying to work out what the fuck was going on
( , Tue 20 Mar 2018, 12:40, archived)
Opik sounds like it could be a Viking name.
While Portillo sounds like a fancy adult chocolate. So I'll go with Opik.
( , Tue 20 Mar 2018, 13:00, archived)
While Portillo sounds like a fancy adult chocolate. So I'll go with Opik.
( , Tue 20 Mar 2018, 13:00, archived)
Davis/Barnier?
Oooh, liddlebidapollidickstherelaysungennelman.
( , Tue 20 Mar 2018, 13:26, archived)
Oooh, liddlebidapollidickstherelaysungennelman.
( , Tue 20 Mar 2018, 13:26, archived)
I think we've got staid and complacent
What would you like to do to improve yourself, if you had the time, money or inclination? This question to contestant 3 please Cilla.
( , Tue 20 Mar 2018, 12:39, archived)
What would you like to do to improve yourself, if you had the time, money or inclination? This question to contestant 3 please Cilla.
( , Tue 20 Mar 2018, 12:39, archived)
i'd like to be fluent in at least 2 other languages
one of them russian
( , Tue 20 Mar 2018, 12:45, archived)
one of them russian
( , Tue 20 Mar 2018, 12:45, archived)
Learning Polish is like learning Russian but without the mental alphabet
although I knew a bloke who spoke both and he said Russian was a lot easier.
( , Tue 20 Mar 2018, 12:52, archived)
although I knew a bloke who spoke both and he said Russian was a lot easier.
( , Tue 20 Mar 2018, 12:52, archived)
How about combining two topics to make a zany whole, like insufferable ubercunt "noel fielding"?
( , Tue 20 Mar 2018, 12:53, archived)
( , Tue 20 Mar 2018, 12:53, archived)
i don't find him that bothersome in his current incarnation
i can see why someone would though, and his stand-up is pretty terrible
( , Tue 20 Mar 2018, 13:24, archived)
i can see why someone would though, and his stand-up is pretty terrible
( , Tue 20 Mar 2018, 13:24, archived)
I just finished his season on Taskmaster
he grates at times but he's nowhere near as insufferable as this Nish bellend.
( , Tue 20 Mar 2018, 13:41, archived)
he grates at times but he's nowhere near as insufferable as this Nish bellend.
( , Tue 20 Mar 2018, 13:41, archived)
I get the feeling that comedians are only really funny before they get exposed to a wide audience,
at which point you'll become sick of the sight of them.
( , Tue 20 Mar 2018, 14:23, archived)
at which point you'll become sick of the sight of them.
( , Tue 20 Mar 2018, 14:23, archived)
I blame Avalon management saturating their 'talent' on TV and Radio
( , Tue 20 Mar 2018, 14:36, archived)
( , Tue 20 Mar 2018, 14:36, archived)
Surely we need more comedians
so as to be constantly exposed to an ever changing talent roster?
( , Tue 20 Mar 2018, 14:44, archived)
so as to be constantly exposed to an ever changing talent roster?
( , Tue 20 Mar 2018, 14:44, archived)
Basically the same, but with frequent updates.
Glad it's working for you.
( , Tue 20 Mar 2018, 9:48, archived)
Glad it's working for you.
( , Tue 20 Mar 2018, 9:48, archived)
one was android 6.0, the new one's 7.1
tablet might struggle a bit but at least I know how easy it is to switch roms now. Cheers for the help.
( , Tue 20 Mar 2018, 10:14, archived)
tablet might struggle a bit but at least I know how easy it is to switch roms now. Cheers for the help.
( , Tue 20 Mar 2018, 10:14, archived)
happy international day of happiness, everybody
haha haa ha ha ha ha. haaaaaahahahahahahahahaa... ha... ha
( , Tue 20 Mar 2018, 9:09, archived)
haha haa ha ha ha ha. haaaaaahahahahahahahahaa... ha... ha
( , Tue 20 Mar 2018, 9:09, archived)
ok, now I know that one
but isn't he called something else now?
( , Tue 20 Mar 2018, 10:07, archived)
but isn't he called something else now?
( , Tue 20 Mar 2018, 10:07, archived)
Sean "Puffy" Coombes > Puffy > Puff Daddy > P. Diddy > Diddy
That's as far as I know it, wouldn't be surprised if he'd got himself an even worse monicker by now.
( , Tue 20 Mar 2018, 10:26, archived)
That's as far as I know it, wouldn't be surprised if he'd got himself an even worse monicker by now.
( , Tue 20 Mar 2018, 10:26, archived)
TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF, LOVE AND HELP CHILDREN, SET A GOOD EXAMPLE, DO NOT HARM A PERSON OF GOOD WILL, SAFEGUARD AND IMPROVE YOUR ENVIRONMENT, TRY TO TREAT OTHERS AS YOU WOULD WANT THEM TO TREAT YOU
( , Tue 20 Mar 2018, 9:55, archived)
( , Tue 20 Mar 2018, 9:55, archived)
ok, alright, I will, I will, I promise!
just please don't hurt me
( , Tue 20 Mar 2018, 10:00, archived)
just please don't hurt me
( , Tue 20 Mar 2018, 10:00, archived)
reckon they'll freeze his balls and extract all the little sperms out of them?
( , Tue 20 Mar 2018, 10:02, archived)
( , Tue 20 Mar 2018, 10:02, archived)
they've did that ages ago I bet.
with millions of animal, plant and fungi species still undiscovered, who fucking cares?! it's teh human's fault anyway so nobody should be crying
( , Tue 20 Mar 2018, 10:14, archived)
with millions of animal, plant and fungi species still undiscovered, who fucking cares?! it's teh human's fault anyway so nobody should be crying
( , Tue 20 Mar 2018, 10:14, archived)
ignore the h8rs hun
if they can't handle you at your wanky wanky wank wank wank wank wanky wanky wanky wank they don't deserve you at your oh fuck off
( , Mon 19 Mar 2018, 16:24, archived)
if they can't handle you at your wanky wanky wank wank wank wank wanky wanky wanky wank they don't deserve you at your oh fuck off
( , Mon 19 Mar 2018, 16:24, archived)
If not now, when?
This is the problem with people these days; too much procrastinatin', not enough maturbatin'!
( , Mon 19 Mar 2018, 17:01, archived)
This is the problem with people these days; too much procrastinatin', not enough maturbatin'!
( , Mon 19 Mar 2018, 17:01, archived)
i guess he's retired then
i hope he digs out his salmon jacket
( , Mon 19 Mar 2018, 20:48, archived)
i hope he digs out his salmon jacket
( , Mon 19 Mar 2018, 20:48, archived)
what's the most you've farted during a formal interview or meeting?
either in cubic litres or dB, please.
( , Mon 19 Mar 2018, 15:15, archived)
either in cubic litres or dB, please.
( , Mon 19 Mar 2018, 15:15, archived)
i did one at Sheffield University open day,
i'd been holding it in all morning during the tour, until we got showed into the laser room, which was quite a confined space.. and then suddenly i needed to sneeze.. and you know it's quite hard to sneeze and keep holding a fart in at the same time, and it made quite a sound, and i spent the rest of the tour trying not to laugh
( , Mon 19 Mar 2018, 18:41, archived)
i'd been holding it in all morning during the tour, until we got showed into the laser room, which was quite a confined space.. and then suddenly i needed to sneeze.. and you know it's quite hard to sneeze and keep holding a fart in at the same time, and it made quite a sound, and i spent the rest of the tour trying not to laugh
( , Mon 19 Mar 2018, 18:41, archived)
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