Right, that's the cat house built.
Have you built anything today? Have you leveraged any synergies?
( .Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Wed 12 Jun 2019, 17:30, archived)

I shifted some paradigms and took everything out of the box
in order to take it forward
( Cheers Cheers, Wed 12 Jun 2019, 17:32, archived)

forward up the bum from other gay spazzes
( .Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Wed 12 Jun 2019, 17:33, archived)

Well, naturally

( Cheers Cheers, Wed 12 Jun 2019, 17:36, archived)

I built up

( mongychops, Wed 12 Jun 2019, 17:33, archived)

^ Swole Patrol

( .Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Wed 12 Jun 2019, 17:34, archived)

It means making a joint round here

( mongychops, Wed 12 Jun 2019, 18:05, archived)

Huh, TIL.

( .Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Wed 12 Jun 2019, 18:08, archived)

You gonna build one up was a common request in my youth

( mongychops, Wed 12 Jun 2019, 18:17, archived)

Same

( Queef Richard's U r a 🔔🔚, Wed 12 Jun 2019, 18:21, archived)

was a common request in my youth, buttercup
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Wed 12 Jun 2019, 18:31, archived)

I love that song

( Smash Monkey 2 The damp spastic, Wed 12 Jun 2019, 20:39, archived)

Who doesn't?

( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Wed 12 Jun 2019, 21:28, archived)

Nobody

( Smash Monkey 2 The damp spastic, Wed 12 Jun 2019, 21:29, archived)

+s

( Cheers Cheers, Wed 12 Jun 2019, 17:37, archived)

lol sleveraged

( .Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Wed 12 Jun 2019, 18:01, archived)

oh

(97800, Wed 12 Jun 2019, 18:37, archived)

I brainstormed some blue sky thinking in the ballpark
This resulted in me arranging for my uncle's Japanese wife to get her brother to pick me up a box of rare 45s from a Tokyo dealer, and send them to the UK in his daughter's luggage when she visits next month. Get in
( Queef Richard's U r a 🔔🔚, Wed 12 Jun 2019, 17:38, archived)

lol her fanny opens sideways

( bent reznor the brownward spiral, Wed 12 Jun 2019, 17:42, archived)

that isn't funny

( Queef Richard's U r a 🔔🔚, Wed 12 Jun 2019, 17:44, archived)

I know.

( bent reznor the brownward spiral, Wed 12 Jun 2019, 18:18, archived)

Look at you and your own darknet record-smuggling network over here.

( .Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Wed 12 Jun 2019, 17:45, archived)

Can't beat a bit of j-pop, huh?

( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Wed 12 Jun 2019, 18:01, archived)

I have found what I think may be the only one of these for sale on the entire internet
www.discogs.com/Various-The-Lessons-NY-Cut-Paste/release/1540096
( Queef Richard's U r a 🔔🔚, Wed 12 Jun 2019, 18:30, archived)

Oh, yeah, wow, it's whatever that is.
That's really something.
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Wed 12 Jun 2019, 18:32, archived)

I no rite

( Queef Richard's U r a 🔔🔚, Wed 12 Jun 2019, 19:52, archived)

Japan are incredibly strict about taking cultural artefacts out of the country

( mongychops, Wed 12 Jun 2019, 18:43, archived)

As they should be

( Smash Monkey 2 The damp spastic, Wed 12 Jun 2019, 20:40, archived)

If it's blocked on discogs doesn't that mean it's a booty?

( Slippery Mick ‏, Wed 12 Jun 2019, 19:06, archived)

that's what I thought too

( bent reznor the brownward spiral, Wed 12 Jun 2019, 19:17, archived)

Fuck all wrong with that, especially when you're getting album cuts on loud 45s
The Death Breaks series are fantastic for those, Fire It Up by Rick James on 45? Yes fucking please
( Queef Richard's U r a 🔔🔚, Wed 12 Jun 2019, 19:27, archived)

didnae say thir wiz

( bent reznor the brownward spiral, Wed 12 Jun 2019, 20:45, archived)

I do like that knight rider sample

(97800, Wed 12 Jun 2019, 21:00, archived)

Absolutely
All the originals were released unofficially in the first place on 12" (which I already own, lol loser), every single track in that box is riddled with unclearable samples, this purchase is pure nerdprickery on my part and if I'm honest is in no small part designed to make my old dj partner mega jel
( Queef Richard's U r a 🔔🔚, Wed 12 Jun 2019, 19:22, archived)

Fair enough. There's loads of interesting bootlegs and a blanket ban is infuriating.

( Slippery Mick ‏, Wed 12 Jun 2019, 19:25, archived)

It's bollocks
Not one single artist involved in the records in that box misses out on even one penny by its release
( Queef Richard's U r a 🔔🔚, Wed 12 Jun 2019, 19:30, archived)

Didn't amazon buy thm or some bullshit?
It just means you have to contend with chancers on ebay and lose to people with more money than sense.
( Slippery Mick ‏, Wed 12 Jun 2019, 19:33, archived)

I didn't know that

( Queef Richard's U r a 🔔🔚, Wed 12 Jun 2019, 19:51, archived)

No live premier football boxing day for the first time ever unleß you've got amazon, they bought all 10 games :(

( mongychops, Wed 12 Jun 2019, 21:29, archived)

Bezos wasting my money, again.
Bad enough they kept giving it to Clarkson & Co.
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Wed 12 Jun 2019, 21:30, archived)

I'm sure theyve looked at the numbers

( mongychops, Wed 12 Jun 2019, 21:57, archived)

This is a sampling court

( mongychops, Wed 12 Jun 2019, 21:25, archived)

s+

(97800, Wed 12 Jun 2019, 17:59, archived)

lol cat houses

( .Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Wed 12 Jun 2019, 18:01, archived)

I made a rather tasty cottage pie.
That involved some construction.
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Wed 12 Jun 2019, 18:02, archived)

I don't think I've had cottage pie in literally decades.
It's one of a long list of recipes that I've labelled "food I'd make if I were cooking for more than one person".
( .Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Wed 12 Jun 2019, 18:05, archived)

It's a good 'freeze in portions' dish

( Queef Richard's U r a 🔔🔚, Wed 12 Jun 2019, 18:19, archived)

Although of course as we all know, the Cumberland pie is best

( Queef Richard's U r a 🔔🔚, Wed 12 Jun 2019, 18:21, archived)

I'd call that a cheeseburger.

( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Wed 12 Jun 2019, 18:36, archived)

I'd call *you* a cheeseburger and by cheeseburger I of course mean 'knob-goblin'

( Queef Richard's U r a 🔔🔚, Wed 12 Jun 2019, 19:55, archived)

Semantics.

( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Wed 12 Jun 2019, 21:29, archived)

Family to feed.
I can never be arsed with anything more complicated than an omelette, if it's just for me.
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Wed 12 Jun 2019, 18:35, archived)

See, I don't understand that
If I have the time, I will always make something that I really enjoy, no matter if it's complicated
( Smash Monkey 2 The damp spastic, Wed 12 Jun 2019, 19:21, archived)

For me, the joy in cooking is in no small part down to feeding others.
I'm this close to just guzzling Huel.
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Wed 12 Jun 2019, 21:32, archived)

Once that sort of shit gets cheaper and hassle free I'll be on it

( mongychops, Wed 12 Jun 2019, 21:59, archived)

And now Chris Froome

(97800, Wed 12 Jun 2019, 18:44, archived)

"Froome, 34, hit a wall at 60kmph when he took his hands off his handlebars to blow his nose."
Pillock.
( .Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Wed 12 Jun 2019, 18:58, archived)

To blow his nose
INTO HIS HANDS
(97800, Wed 12 Jun 2019, 19:50, archived)

I built up a powerful thirst
Bombay sapphire to the rescue
( Smash Monkey 2 The damp spastic, Wed 12 Jun 2019, 19:19, archived)

I've never had it but I thought the general consensus was it's revolting

(97800, Wed 12 Jun 2019, 20:01, archived)

I find it more enjoyable than Gordon's

( Smash Monkey 2 The damp spastic, Wed 12 Jun 2019, 20:11, archived)

both Gordon's and Bombay Sapphire are awful

( bent reznor the brownward spiral, Wed 12 Jun 2019, 20:23, archived)

Alright Gin Damon
pbs.twimg.com/media/D8YSf7rXoAALKI1?format=jpg&name=large
( Slippery Mick ‏, Wed 12 Jun 2019, 20:58, archived)

come on now mate, no doxxing

( bent reznor the brownward spiral, Wed 12 Jun 2019, 22:35, archived)

rip
(97800, Wed 12 Jun 2019, 20:23, archived)

Bollocks to that

( Smash Monkey 2 The damp spastic, Wed 12 Jun 2019, 20:41, archived)

That's something else I haven't had for literally decades.
I don't think they even sell it over here.
( .Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Wed 12 Jun 2019, 20:22, archived)

That's tragic

( Smash Monkey 2 The damp spastic, Wed 12 Jun 2019, 20:42, archived)

Paul daniels died

(97800, Wed 12 Jun 2019, 20:47, archived)

I like this!
not a lot
( Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Wed 12 Jun 2019, 21:07, archived)

Paul Daniels was an unfunny cunt
The fact that he died is of no import
( Smash Monkey 2 The damp spastic, Wed 12 Jun 2019, 21:29, archived)

well he was a magician not a comedian

( Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Wed 12 Jun 2019, 21:33, archived)

and also a wanker

( Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Wed 12 Jun 2019, 21:34, archived)

no i'm useless

( Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Wed 12 Jun 2019, 21:05, archived)

alright

( bent reznor the brownward spiral, Wed 12 Jun 2019, 12:57, archived)

Yeah sweet

( mongychops, Wed 12 Jun 2019, 13:01, archived)

wotcha

( bent reznor the brownward spiral, Wed 12 Jun 2019, 13:13, archived)

No, got a cat on me
Can't move without the clingy little bitch following me
( Smash Monkey 2 The damp spastic, Wed 12 Jun 2019, 14:18, archived)

CaC

( H.B.Mupps, Wed 12 Jun 2019, 14:24, archived)

morning?
*checks profile*

morning.
( Queef Richard's U r a 🔔🔚, Wed 12 Jun 2019, 6:44, archived)

This is dumb for even your morning/efforts

(97800, Wed 12 Jun 2019, 6:58, archived)

Hey

( Queef Richard's U r a 🔔🔚, Wed 12 Jun 2019, 8:10, archived)

morning

( bent reznor the brownward spiral, Wed 12 Jun 2019, 6:59, archived)

Yes

( Queef Richard's U r a 🔔🔚, Wed 12 Jun 2019, 8:11, archived)

My morning is red and has podka dots on :)

( broadsword w⚓, Wed 12 Jun 2019, 8:04, archived)

cor!

( bent reznor the brownward spiral, Wed 12 Jun 2019, 8:07, archived)

I like what I see

( Queef Richard's U r a 🔔🔚, Wed 12 Jun 2019, 8:11, archived)

nice contents

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 12 Jun 2019, 8:45, archived)

Morning.
When did OT finally curl up and die?
(dee bee Lols for, Wed 12 Jun 2019, 8:24, archived)

It's just pining for the fjords.

( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Wed 12 Jun 2019, 8:27, archived)

Bless.
Bless it's little cotton socks. I thought /talk had gone too, there's no link for it.
(dee bee Lols for, Wed 12 Jun 2019, 8:34, archived)

Yes, this is a vibrant, thriving community.
All 12 of us.
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Wed 12 Jun 2019, 8:48, archived)

The dirty little secret
of B3ta.
(dee bee Lols for, Wed 12 Jun 2019, 8:56, archived)

fucking years ago

( Queef Richard's U r a 🔔🔚, Wed 12 Jun 2019, 8:45, archived)

Hello new person, please read the FAQ

( Mike Lindup keyboard warrior, Wed 12 Jun 2019, 9:02, archived)

cycling Ave.

( bent reznor the brownward spiral, Wed 12 Jun 2019, 9:10, archived)

catwring

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 12 Jun 2019, 9:17, archived)

Maarnin'.
Watched a couple of episodes of that 'Chernobyl' last night. Netflix and its series are really bringing telly back to its glory days.
( .Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Wed 12 Jun 2019, 8:34, archived)

the foo0000ooood programmes they make are shot like big budget films - Chef's Table is amazing

( Queef Richard's U r a 🔔🔚, Wed 12 Jun 2019, 8:46, archived)

From the bloke who did "Jiro Dreams of Sushi", apparently.
No wonder it's good.
( .Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Wed 12 Jun 2019, 8:52, archived)

that's a stunning film in itself

( Queef Richard's U r a 🔔🔚, Wed 12 Jun 2019, 9:12, archived)

It absolutely is.

( .Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Wed 12 Jun 2019, 9:20, archived)

That's another series that's Netflix internationally, but Sky in the UK.
Might get a VPN setup, bollocks to paying for Sky.
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Wed 12 Jun 2019, 8:46, archived)

If you do cost/benefit analysis, it's a no-brainer.

( .Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Wed 12 Jun 2019, 8:53, archived)

Of course, between Prime and Netflix, I've bookmarked more than I will ever watch, so it'd be quicker to just piss money straight into the drains.
Kind of know how Chernobyl ends, though. Bit like Titanic, in that respect, no tension.
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Wed 12 Jun 2019, 8:58, archived)

Yeah, Amazon don't seem to have quite caught up, but Netflix originals
Are very good on the whole.
( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Wed 12 Jun 2019, 9:34, archived)

Good Omens seems good, and they've scooped up The Expanse.
Not really got that much else out of Amazon Prime, although Jean Clause van Johnson was a hoot.
I keep meaning to watch The Walking Dead, but cba.
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Wed 12 Jun 2019, 9:44, archived)

Yeah, I've watched a few Amazon bits, it pays for itself due to how much I save by having prime for the packages,
So I'm sort of less bothered by it being amazing than Netflix that is a 10 spot a month and needs to be worthwhile.
( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Wed 12 Jun 2019, 10:00, archived)

Agreed, I'll keep Prime for delivery, the TV element is a nice bonus but I wouldn't pay for it on that basis alone.
Neither are particularly great for new film releases, though.
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Wed 12 Jun 2019, 10:02, archived)

No, but I'm not bothered about watching films when they're new.

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Wed 12 Jun 2019, 10:18, archived)

I waste a lot of time browsing for things to watch.
Sitting down with the family on a Friday evening to "watch a film" involves either forward planning or accepting that you'll need to wade through a quantity of shit before you find something to watch.

It's pretty obvious that Netflix has switched away from films / archive TV as its selling point, and on to its homegrown TV series. There's a lot of crap in the "Netflix Original" films, too, alongside the odd gem.
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Wed 12 Jun 2019, 10:37, archived)

#firstworldproblems

( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Wed 12 Jun 2019, 10:39, archived)

/talk ? Jesus, you really are depraved.

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 12 Jun 2019, 8:44, archived)

*shits on a dog's tits*

( Queef Richard's U r a 🔔🔚, Wed 12 Jun 2019, 8:53, archived)

Hello there.

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Wed 12 Jun 2019, 9:32, archived)

Sup

( Queef Richard's U r a 🔔🔚, Wed 12 Jun 2019, 10:52, archived)

this is acid

( $$ ✅, Wed 12 Jun 2019, 9:51, archived)

Wikipedia says human skin is between 4.5 and 6.2 pH, so yes, slightly.

( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Wed 12 Jun 2019, 9:53, archived)

*twiddles 303*

( broadsword w⚓, Wed 12 Jun 2019, 10:19, archived)

I'll make you dance

( Queef Richard's U r a 🔔🔚, Wed 12 Jun 2019, 10:52, archived)

alright

( Mike Lindup keyboard warrior, Tue 11 Jun 2019, 13:58, archived)

Alright, Boyce's puppet account.

( .Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Tue 11 Jun 2019, 14:04, archived)

incorrect

( Mike Lindup keyboard warrior, Tue 11 Jun 2019, 14:08, archived)

never had one

( Queef Richard's U r a 🔔🔚, Tue 11 Jun 2019, 14:44, archived)

that's because they're all b&

( Mike Lindup keyboard warrior, Tue 11 Jun 2019, 14:59, archived)

stuj?

( $$ ✅, Tue 11 Jun 2019, 14:08, archived)

https://b3ta.com/talk/8225193
( Mike Lindup keyboard warrior, Tue 11 Jun 2019, 14:09, archived)

Hello, new person.
Please read our FAQ, realise that this website is terrible, and then leave, never to return.
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Tue 11 Jun 2019, 14:09, archived)

Must admit, I'm having second thoughts

( Mike Lindup keyboard warrior, Tue 11 Jun 2019, 14:11, archived)

you might just find that the talk board moves at a slower pace and is a nicer place to chat

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 11 Jun 2019, 14:14, archived)

I heard posters on this board were slower than most

( Mike Lindup keyboard warrior, Tue 11 Jun 2019, 14:17, archived)

Can I employ B3ta to make my website/viral?

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 11 Jun 2019, 14:12, archived)

Yes, although the only virus you'll get is VD

( Mike Lindup keyboard warrior, Tue 11 Jun 2019, 14:13, archived)

alright Mike

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 11 Jun 2019, 14:11, archived)

* tinkles your ivories *

( Mike Lindup keyboard warrior, Tue 11 Jun 2019, 14:12, archived)

Cheers

( Cheers Cheers, Tue 11 Jun 2019, 14:14, archived)

And the same to you

( Mike Lindup keyboard warrior, Tue 11 Jun 2019, 14:16, archived)

alright mike, hope you enjoy livin it up til the sun goes down on beeter stroke torque

( broadsword w⚓, Tue 11 Jun 2019, 14:19, archived)

^ on the level

( Mike Lindup keyboard warrior, Tue 11 Jun 2019, 14:38, archived)

MAYBE IT'S THE REAL MIKE LINDUP GUYS.
I wonder what he thinks of Queef's obsessive and creepy stalking campaign of him on slashtorque.
( .Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Tue 11 Jun 2019, 14:23, archived)

I've already got a restraining order in place

( Mike Lindup keyboard warrior, Tue 11 Jun 2019, 14:38, archived)

unfortunate url corner:
www.thekidsquarter.com/
( Queef Richard's U r a 🔔🔚, Tue 11 Jun 2019, 14:44, archived)

Pen Island lols

( .Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Tue 11 Jun 2019, 14:45, archived)

rofl

( broadsword w⚓, Tue 11 Jun 2019, 14:47, archived)

hi Mike

( bent reznor the brownward spiral, Tue 11 Jun 2019, 14:50, archived)

'sup bendy

( Mike Lindup keyboard warrior, Tue 11 Jun 2019, 14:59, archived)

alright Mik

( bent reznor the brownward spiral, Tue 11 Jun 2019, 15:11, archived)

e Lin

( bent reznor the brownward spiral, Tue 11 Jun 2019, 15:11, archived)

dup

( bent reznor the brownward spiral, Tue 11 Jun 2019, 15:11, archived)

alright Mike

( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Tue 11 Jun 2019, 16:11, archived)

I'll always remember this as the day Mike blanked me :(

( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Wed 12 Jun 2019, 0:07, archived)

Lol

( Mike Lindup keyboard warrior, Fri 14 Jun 2019, 20:09, archived)

get fucked Mike

( Queef Richard's U r a 🔔🔚, Tue 11 Jun 2019, 16:13, archived)

alright Queef

( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Tue 11 Jun 2019, 17:18, archived)

alright

( Queef Richard's U r a 🔔🔚, Tue 11 Jun 2019, 19:19, archived)

Glory glory hallelu

( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Tue 11 Jun 2019, 16:57, archived)

Lindup merchant

( Smash Monkey 2 The damp spastic, Tue 11 Jun 2019, 17:10, archived)

Hello, soon to be rebanned one

(97800, Tue 11 Jun 2019, 18:29, archived)

It's not giggly, so will probably be allowed to stay

( mongychops, Tue 11 Jun 2019, 18:32, archived)

He's doing a good job of pretending to be someone else

(97800, Tue 11 Jun 2019, 18:36, archived)

prolly spanishfly

( $$ ✅, Tue 11 Jun 2019, 18:37, archived)

Nah, not enough sudden uncontrollable mood swings

(97800, Tue 11 Jun 2019, 18:42, archived)

He hasn't told anyone to get fucked yet, it's looking positive

(97800, Tue 11 Jun 2019, 18:52, archived)

Or tales of black prossies and big money wins

( mongychops, Tue 11 Jun 2019, 18:56, archived)

I miss Spannerz

( bent reznor the brownward spiral, Tue 11 Jun 2019, 19:04, archived)

I fucking hope not

( mongychops, Tue 11 Jun 2019, 18:51, archived)

Do you have a washing out?
I do, but it looks like rain, so i've had to put my laptop at the window so I can see out while i'm working.

I have another load on right now and i'm worried that i'll not get it out today.

What is stressing you today?
(misusscompiler No cornflakes? No eyes? No problem !, Tue 11 Jun 2019, 10:21, archived)

I've had to go back to using the tumble dryer.
Not happy about this.
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Tue 11 Jun 2019, 10:24, archived)

I don't have one as the flat has no space in the kitchen,
and I will NOT countenance a tumble dryer in anything but a kitchen or utility room. And I do not have a utility room.
I did consider one in the garage, but it's a lockup and I dont want to be carrying my smalls up and down the street.
(misusscompiler No cornflakes? No eyes? No problem !, Tue 11 Jun 2019, 10:27, archived)

2Hats used to love a bit of laundry chat.
RIP
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Tue 11 Jun 2019, 11:41, archived)

:*(

( Queef Richard's U r a 🔔🔚, Tue 11 Jun 2019, 12:09, archived)

RIP sweet prince x
may heaven contain a shower for those moments when you feel gamey
( $$ ✅, Tue 11 Jun 2019, 12:19, archived)

My dad refused to get up for the carer today, so she left after 5 minutes , new care plan going well ffs

( mongychops, Tue 11 Jun 2019, 10:39, archived)

I'm sorry to hear he needs one.
Chronic or terminal?
(misusscompiler No cornflakes? No eyes? No problem !, Tue 11 Jun 2019, 10:41, archived)

Old and incapable of looking after himself, bit of dementia and a long held desire to be dead

( mongychops, Tue 11 Jun 2019, 10:47, archived)

No I don't have washing out, my wife won't have a washing line because she doesn't like the look of them
I'm stressing about an email exchange between me and my kid's mum, concerning the summer holidays. She's engineered it so I only get to see her for the one week I'm taking her away. I have complained that this is cuntish, her take on it is that I am trying to paint her in a bad light for the court. No love, your actions do that, you don't need any help from me.

Sorry to bore you, it's fucking boring the tits off me
( Queef Richard's U r a 🔔🔚, Tue 11 Jun 2019, 11:07, archived)

She's cancelled your weekends because of a weeks holiday? That can't be right

( mongychops, Tue 11 Jun 2019, 11:23, archived)

order states that in the summer hols the term time arrangements continue as usual unless she or I is away on holiday
So she's said 'I'm away on holiday for all the weekends of the entire holiday except when you take her away' and is refusing to give me details on where she's going on all these wonderful holidays.

Ignored four requests outright and on my fifth request told me she doesn't have to share this information with me
( Queef Richard's U r a 🔔🔚, Tue 11 Jun 2019, 11:32, archived)

Are you in court again before the summer? I'm not sure they'd be impressed by that nonsense. My kids used to go away for over a month in the summer so I didn't see them, but I just went fishing more

( mongychops, Tue 11 Jun 2019, 11:35, archived)

nope, it's been put back to September 26th now
my solicitor said the same, the judge won't like it. All helps I suppose - and I'll get more time with my wife so it's not the end of the world but still...
( Queef Richard's U r a 🔔🔚, Tue 11 Jun 2019, 11:38, archived)

My daughter rarely come to stay anymore, no issue she's 16, but my son said don't worry dad I'll always come and stay with you forever, I bloody hope not he's 15 this year

( mongychops, Tue 11 Jun 2019, 11:48, archived)

change the locks

( Queef Richard's U r a 🔔🔚, Tue 11 Jun 2019, 11:50, archived)

actually srs question, do they have their own keys and if so how old were they when you let them have them

( Queef Richard's U r a 🔔🔚, Tue 11 Jun 2019, 11:51, archived)

Mine have had keys since they started Year 5 at school.

( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Tue 11 Jun 2019, 11:54, archived)

until my kid is travelling on her own she's no need of a set but she's excited at the prospect of having them

( Queef Richard's U r a 🔔🔚, Tue 11 Jun 2019, 12:23, archived)

Stopped walking mine after the first couple of weeks of middle school.
On the condition that they don't walk alone, but being a twin is handy in that respect. Eldest goes alone, so long as he remembers his mobile, and calls if he isn't coming straight back.

I'd tag this as #mumsnet, but I don't know the right slang to use to refer to everyone.
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Tue 11 Jun 2019, 12:27, archived)

that place is fucking scary

( Queef Richard's U r a 🔔🔚, Tue 11 Jun 2019, 12:30, archived)

I just get the occasional highlight from twitter.
This one appears to be a row between a comics publisher, the Department of Health, and Danger Mouse:

mobile.twitter.com/mumsnet_madness/status/1137682129540780034/photo/1
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Tue 11 Jun 2019, 12:37, archived)

What's middle school ?

( mongychops, Tue 11 Jun 2019, 12:46, archived)

nothing, what's a middle school with you?

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 11 Jun 2019, 12:54, archived)

Year 5 onwards.
We're on the Lower-Middle-Upper scheme, here, but some of the schools have transitioned to Primary-Secondary, so the eldest did 2 years at middle school before moving on to a Secondary. The twins are staying at the middle school, although we regret not getting them into a primary school after they completed Lower, as it would have been a better fit for them - their middle school thinks it's a secondary, anyway (but doesn't have a 6th Form, or whatever we're calling A-level students, these days).
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Tue 11 Jun 2019, 13:15, archived)

1st year of secondary school

( mongychops, Tue 11 Jun 2019, 12:05, archived)

ta

( Queef Richard's U r a 🔔🔚, Tue 11 Jun 2019, 12:07, archived)

Hope your wife likes mould spores!

( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Tue 11 Jun 2019, 11:43, archived)

Our house is very warm on the top landing where the drying rack sits

( Queef Richard's U r a 🔔🔚, Tue 11 Jun 2019, 11:45, archived)

And well ventilated?

( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Tue 11 Jun 2019, 11:52, archived)

yes thanks

( Queef Richard's U r a 🔔🔚, Tue 11 Jun 2019, 11:54, archived)

lol, guffs

( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Tue 11 Jun 2019, 11:56, archived)

He's not married to Egon Spengler

( Smash Monkey 2 The damp spastic, Tue 11 Jun 2019, 12:54, archived)

Turtle power

(97800, Tue 11 Jun 2019, 13:08, archived)

ashing illy

y
( broadsword w⚓, Tue 11 Jun 2019, 11:11, archived)

pissing down, so no
firefox and bitdefender being unable to agree on which websites I can access is annoying me today, but I wouldn't say it is stressing me
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 11 Jun 2019, 11:16, archived)

I don't know m8 you seem pretty upset

( Queef Richard's U r a 🔔🔚, Tue 11 Jun 2019, 11:34, archived)

I'm livid

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 11 Jun 2019, 11:52, archived)

I accidentally deleted the exception that stops Opendns from blocking b3ta as "pornography", last night.

( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Tue 11 Jun 2019, 11:46, archived)

how does this help me?

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 11 Jun 2019, 11:53, archived)

Your methods clearly aren't blocking this den of smut, so you need to rethink your options.

( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Tue 11 Jun 2019, 11:56, archived)

I'll do it tomorrow

( Smash Monkey 2 The damp spastic, Tue 11 Jun 2019, 11:34, archived)

Two young lads turned up an hour ago with a parcel for me the size of a wardrobe.
It took me a good ten seconds to remember I'd ordered an outdoor shelter for the cats. Roll on eob so I can sleep.
( .Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Tue 11 Jun 2019, 11:47, archived)

Outside in the cat shelter?

( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Tue 11 Jun 2019, 11:57, archived)

Might be a bit small.

( .Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Tue 11 Jun 2019, 12:00, archived)

Misread as 'outdoor shiter'.

( Slippery Mick ‏, Tue 11 Jun 2019, 11:59, archived)

It may double as that but I'm hoping not.

( .Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Tue 11 Jun 2019, 12:00, archived)

I need to get a scratching post
Azrael is clawing fuck out of the end of my bed
( Smash Monkey 2 The damp spastic, Tue 11 Jun 2019, 12:53, archived)

a washing? singular? are you from mars?

( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Tue 11 Jun 2019, 12:10, archived)

Do you have washings out, then?

( .Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Tue 11 Jun 2019, 12:22, archived)

Filthy hobbitses

(97800, Tue 11 Jun 2019, 13:10, archived)

Nah, we have the miele dryer on top of the miele washing machine and we just used that.
I admit it's a bit of a faff having to move the washing into the dryer but we weren't very impressed with the capacity of the miele washer / dryer and we wanted to do our bit to save the planet by doing larger loads in one go.
( 2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Tue 11 Jun 2019, 13:56, archived)

Everybody busy?

( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Tue 11 Jun 2019, 10:20, archived)

See above

(misusscompiler No cornflakes? No eyes? No problem !, Tue 11 Jun 2019, 10:23, archived)

Morning.

( .Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Tue 11 Jun 2019, 5:05, archived)

Morning
That late-night political satire was too highbrow for me, it went right over my head.
(Plague Hedgehog 'posting crap', Tue 11 Jun 2019, 6:21, archived)

Nothing like edgy politicalols à propos of nothing in the middle of the night, eh?

( .Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Tue 11 Jun 2019, 6:23, archived)

it's that kind of incisive, nuanced political satire that keeps me coming back to this forum

( bent reznor the brownward spiral, Tue 11 Jun 2019, 7:06, archived)

Rory Bremner lurks on /talk and jots down the best observations for his upcoming shows.

( .Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Tue 11 Jun 2019, 7:11, archived)

If that post doesn't convince Rob to reinstate the /talk link on the navbar,
nothing will.
(Plague Hedgehog 'posting crap', Tue 11 Jun 2019, 7:18, archived)

Morning

( Smash Monkey 2 The damp spastic, Tue 11 Jun 2019, 7:11, archived)

Suh-mash, how is it?

( .Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Tue 11 Jun 2019, 7:13, archived)

Not bad
Decent sleep last night, so I'm feeling recharged today
( Smash Monkey 2 The damp spastic, Tue 11 Jun 2019, 7:19, archived)

I'm totes well jell over here.

( .Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Tue 11 Jun 2019, 7:32, archived)

Day off tomorrow, too
Working all weekend again, mind
( Smash Monkey 2 The damp spastic, Tue 11 Jun 2019, 8:34, archived)

Haha, Jeremy Bore-bin,I call him!!!
( bent reznor the brownward spiral, Tue 11 Jun 2019, 7:46, archived)

Get this man on The Today Programme immediately.

( .Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Tue 11 Jun 2019, 7:53, archived)

I'm a legendary satirist m8

( bent reznor the brownward spiral, Tue 11 Jun 2019, 7:58, archived)

satirist pillock
( .Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Tue 11 Jun 2019, 8:05, archived)

haha what a zingeroonie!!!

( bent reznor the brownward spiral, Tue 11 Jun 2019, 8:10, archived)

Strikey-G satire!!!!!

( .Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Tue 11 Jun 2019, 8:14, archived)

"Mb3tang", more like!!!

(97800, Tue 11 Jun 2019, 8:04, archived)

You know when you've been Mb3tangoed?

( .Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Tue 11 Jun 2019, 8:08, archived)

Might try putting "b3ta" in place of four letters in random work emails today, fight the powers that be

(97800, Tue 11 Jun 2019, 8:10, archived)

"fight the powers that b3ta", I'm sure you mean.

( .Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Tue 11 Jun 2019, 8:14, archived)

mcbeef, he was a hero to most

( bent reznor the brownward spiral, Tue 11 Jun 2019, 8:31, archived)

hullo smeg-heads

( Queef Richard's U r a 🔔🔚, Tue 11 Jun 2019, 8:29, archived)

Alright Dave "Dave" Lister.

( .Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Tue 11 Jun 2019, 8:40, archived)

My kids ran into Craig "Dave 'Dave' Lister" Charles whilst they were up in Scotland.
His filming of a Gadget Show segment blocked their view from whichever mountain it was that they'd gone up.
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Tue 11 Jun 2019, 8:51, archived)

he's a crackhead nonce

( bent reznor the brownward spiral, Tue 11 Jun 2019, 8:56, archived)

monster munch, that is

( bent reznor the brownward spiral, Tue 11 Jun 2019, 8:57, archived)

Might steal this to launch my bid to be leader of the Conservative Party.

( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Tue 11 Jun 2019, 9:01, archived)

If it's raining
It's raining tears from my eyes
Since you've gone
All I do is cry
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 11 Jun 2019, 8:43, archived)

^ ablooblooing on the internet again

( .Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Tue 11 Jun 2019, 8:47, archived)

That 44,000ltr saltwater pool won't fill itself, y'know.

( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Tue 11 Jun 2019, 8:52, archived)

Delivery of tramp's piss didn't turn up, then?

( Smash Monkey 2 The damp spastic, Tue 11 Jun 2019, 9:39, archived)

All your hard work, lost in the post.

( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Tue 11 Jun 2019, 9:50, archived)

Thank you England for making Trump look only marginally b3tarded in comparison to Theresa May.

( DerKommissar Look how much fun we're having!, Tue 11 Jun 2019, 3:50, archived)

ur welcome m8

( Queef Richard's U r a 🔔🔚, Tue 11 Jun 2019, 8:59, archived)

hullo knobkin's
Queef here with a 'thread'.

how r u lol

I have a headache and I want to go home
( Queef Richard's U r a 🔔🔚, Mon 10 Jun 2019, 15:45, archived)

Ufff...
My brain feels like cabbage that has been boiled for several hours. Is there some sort of cosmic tradition that your last week's work before your holiday will be especially excruciating?
( .Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Mon 10 Jun 2019, 15:52, archived)

Having played up my "I'm really good at Access" card for all it's worth,
I've spent the afternoon trying to work some Visual Basic magic. Taken far too long to complete a fairly simple task.
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Mon 10 Jun 2019, 15:57, archived)

alright

( bent reznor the brownward spiral, Mon 10 Jun 2019, 16:56, archived)

I have a headache but I don't want to go home
One daughter has started pissing the bed for no reason and the other one has been crying through the night and what with our selfish cunt neighbour refusing to kill his cockerel that wakes us up at half 4 every day I'm not getting much sleep.
( 2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Mon 10 Jun 2019, 17:08, archived)

Physician heal thy self
Dr was supposed to see my dad at 1, I left at 4, no show, on the piss ?
( mongychops, Mon 10 Jun 2019, 17:19, archived)

Prick, threaten to refer him to the Ombudsman

( 2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Mon 10 Jun 2019, 17:27, archived)

Her, and no need for that, the rapid response guy asked him today what do you want tom? I just want to die please , his face was a picture

( mongychops, Mon 10 Jun 2019, 17:30, archived)

I get asked to put people out of their misery a lot and I have to say I'm not allowed to.
Shame really, I don't like disappointing people and I think I'd be quite good at it.
( 2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Mon 10 Jun 2019, 18:51, archived)

I worked at rhn putney a bit, if people could be put down that place wouldn't exist

( mongychops, Mon 10 Jun 2019, 19:21, archived)

What, so all those people you killed with the wrong prescription were accidents?

(97800, Mon 10 Jun 2019, 19:26, archived)

I'm sure my dad would like a 1ltr morphine injection

( mongychops, Mon 10 Jun 2019, 19:34, archived)

I am doing a poo lol

( BraynDedd Natasha Kaplinsky's labia majora, Mon 10 Jun 2019, 18:16, archived)

^ brownloading

( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Mon 10 Jun 2019, 19:03, archived)

Exhausted and unable to sleep
Booze isn't helping
( Smash Monkey 2 The damp spastic, Mon 10 Jun 2019, 20:07, archived)

I got knocked down by a car on Saturday night.
Anybody else do anything exciting over the weekend?
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Mon 10 Jun 2019, 11:03, archived)

I ran over some prick with my car

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 10 Jun 2019, 11:06, archived)

Was it yourself?

( 2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Mon 10 Jun 2019, 18:53, archived)

Was it attached to someone or loose

( gub~gub can't find the hummus, Tue 11 Jun 2019, 0:17, archived)

I had a near-perfect weekend actually
Nice Korean lunch at Borough Market, went to see Godzilla (I really liked it) and then went to a superb gig. I feel a bit rough today but it was well worth it.
( Queef Richard's U r a 🔔🔚, Mon 10 Jun 2019, 11:08, archived)

I've heard good things about the new Godzilla, unlike the previous one.
Is it Pacific Rim stupid-yet-awesome?
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Mon 10 Jun 2019, 11:33, archived)

not seen that so I can't say I'm afraid
but as a huge fan of the Japanese originals I was expecting to be disappointed but it was fucking great, definitely best enjoyed in a cinema. Kid loved it as well.
( Queef Richard's U r a 🔔🔚, Mon 10 Jun 2019, 11:41, archived)

Cool.
My kids are keen on it 'cos her from Stranger Things is in it.
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Mon 10 Jun 2019, 11:44, archived)

Blimey, she's almost of legal age now.
The internet's going to forget about her any minute.
( .Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Mon 10 Jun 2019, 11:53, archived)

This is gross, but no doubt there's a countdown clock on some website for her.
🤮
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Mon 10 Jun 2019, 12:02, archived)

u kno it

( .Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Mon 10 Jun 2019, 12:12, archived)

Yeah I'd say so
Just as stupid when its just people on screen, just as awesome when the monsters do a fighting
( H.B.Mupps, Mon 10 Jun 2019, 14:04, archived)

I'm sold.

( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Mon 10 Jun 2019, 14:21, archived)

did you die?

( $$ ✅, Mon 10 Jun 2019, 11:13, archived)

Turns out I'm indestructible, so no.
Won't bother looking both ways, in future.
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Mon 10 Jun 2019, 11:32, archived)

by a car on Saturday night.
Anybody else do anything exciting over the weekend? and then got up again
( Cheers Cheers, Mon 10 Jun 2019, 11:14, archived)

He drinks the artisan gin drink.
He drinks the small batch craft ale drink.
(Roger McGough-Pipe, Mon 10 Jun 2019, 14:05, archived)

He sings the song that you've probably never heard of
He sing the avant garde Mongolian cover of the same song
( H.B.Mupps, Mon 10 Jun 2019, 14:08, archived)

Work mostly
Still fewer shit than being run over
( Smash Monkey 2 The damp spastic, Mon 10 Jun 2019, 11:15, archived)

OMG d00d
Nothing broken, I trust?

My weekend was kind of meh. The week should start to be tolerable from about Wednesday, and next week I'm off on hols. Light at the end of the tunnel etc. etc.
( .Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Mon 10 Jun 2019, 11:21, archived)

Some light bruising and a cut elbow.
I think the emotional trauma to the children was worse.

Off somewhere nice?
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Mon 10 Jun 2019, 11:35, archived)

Not in any way that involves packing suitcases, no.
I fancy taking a couple of day-trips, though. Anything for a bit of a change of scene.
( .Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Mon 10 Jun 2019, 11:38, archived)

Stay in bed, watching Netflix, whilst posting fake updates to your Instagram?

( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Mon 10 Jun 2019, 11:42, archived)

Hey, man: being an influencer is a full-time job.

( .Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Mon 10 Jun 2019, 11:48, archived)

Liked and shared.

( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Mon 10 Jun 2019, 11:59, archived)

RIP Bushwick Bill

( bent reznor the brownward spiral, Mon 10 Jun 2019, 12:26, archived)

Whatever happened, I'm sure I've got an alibi.

( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Mon 10 Jun 2019, 12:31, archived)

mind ain't playing no tricks no more

( $$ ✅, Mon 10 Jun 2019, 12:44, archived)

lol 'Bush'

( Cheers Cheers, Mon 10 Jun 2019, 13:11, archived)

A dwarf who rapped and shot his own eye out under the influence of alcohol and PCP.
You couldn't make it up.
( .Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Mon 10 Jun 2019, 13:35, archived)

that must've left you feeling rather... tyre-d

lol
( broadsword w⚓, Mon 10 Jun 2019, 12:34, archived)

Haha!
It left me with a few bump(er)s and bruises!
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Mon 10 Jun 2019, 12:40, archived)

Pretty exhaust-ed I would've thought!!11

( broadsword w⚓, Mon 10 Jun 2019, 12:41, archived)

and rather eMOTional!!!11

( broadsword w⚓, Mon 10 Jun 2019, 12:46, archived)

morning

( bent reznor the brownward spiral, Mon 10 Jun 2019, 7:13, archived)

Morning.
Bit achy, could do with a duvet day.
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Mon 10 Jun 2019, 7:31, archived)

^ gay

( bent reznor the brownward spiral, Mon 10 Jun 2019, 7:48, archived)

You wish.

( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Mon 10 Jun 2019, 9:08, archived)

Trust this find's you well

(97800, Mon 10 Jun 2019, 8:03, archived)

rock your body

( bent reznor the brownward spiral, Mon 10 Jun 2019, 8:58, archived)

urgh

( Queef Richard's U r a 🔔🔚, Mon 10 Jun 2019, 8:35, archived)

big willies

( bent reznor the brownward spiral, Mon 10 Jun 2019, 8:58, archived)

Morning.
Shitloads to do, can't access the work network, totally not motivated. GO TEAM!
( .Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Mon 10 Jun 2019, 8:43, archived)

alright

( bent reznor the brownward spiral, Mon 10 Jun 2019, 8:58, archived)

yes I suppose so

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 10 Jun 2019, 8:44, archived)

tangles

( bent reznor the brownward spiral, Mon 10 Jun 2019, 8:58, archived)

Morning

( Smash Monkey 2 The damp spastic, Mon 10 Jun 2019, 9:16, archived)

C h e e r s

( Cheers Cheers, Mon 10 Jun 2019, 9:53, archived)

Slowly

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Mon 10 Jun 2019, 10:16, archived)

Building up weak parts takes a lot of patience and pure determination! Everything about this lifestyle takes patience and without it you'll find yourself stuck in a constant internal battle. Push through the pain and trust in the process in order to truly reach physical satisfaction. I'm always reminding myself "trust in the process" and I also tell myself to enjoy every part of it, and yes that means building up my small triceps and forearms! Today I realized just how much being patient can start to pay off. Little by little the weak areas are coming up. Now I want you to remind yourself the same thing day to day and then before you know it you'll see exactly what I'm talking about in this post! I believe in everyone with a dream, just be patient and be determined no matter what the journey throws in front of you!
( $$ ✅, Mon 10 Jun 2019, 10:34, archived)

Is this about your penus?

( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Mon 10 Jun 2019, 10:35, archived)

Fucking hell, this place is still going
Fair play to you all
( Major Turd for tonight only, Mon 10 Jun 2019, 1:24, archived)

Hanging on by our fingernails

( Smash Monkey 2 The damp spastic, Mon 10 Jun 2019, 1:58, archived)

I'm glad it's still here

( Major Turd for tonight only, Mon 10 Jun 2019, 2:44, archived)

Something to do on nights

( Smash Monkey 2 The damp spastic, Mon 10 Jun 2019, 6:14, archived)

sup

( mictoboy shitting in your cunt since, Sun 9 Jun 2019, 19:01, archived)

it smells like Updog in here

( bent reznor the brownward spiral, Sun 9 Jun 2019, 19:16, archived)

better clean up then, you filthy cunt

( mictoboy shitting in your cunt since, Sun 9 Jun 2019, 19:20, archived)

I've not had a dog up me, so I really wouldn't know what that smells like, you filthy cunt

( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Sun 9 Jun 2019, 21:00, archived)

No thanks, just finished a cuppa.

( Mr. Tea dole-nonce-amuser extraordinaire, Sun 9 Jun 2019, 19:17, archived)

did you have a biscuit?

( mictoboy shitting in your cunt since, Sun 9 Jun 2019, 19:20, archived)

Tragically, no.

( Mr. Tea dole-nonce-amuser extraordinaire, Sun 9 Jun 2019, 19:54, archived)

well fuck

( mictoboy shitting in your cunt since, Sun 9 Jun 2019, 20:05, archived)

standards have fallen

( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Sun 9 Jun 2019, 21:16, archived)

like the first standards

( mictoboy shitting in your cunt since, Sun 9 Jun 2019, 21:51, archived)

Fallards more like!!!

(97800, Sun 9 Jun 2019, 22:11, archived)

Just caught the cat drinking my bovril
Weird creature
( Smash Monkey 2 The damp spastic, Sun 9 Jun 2019, 19:29, archived)

you fucking are weird
Bovril? for fuck's sake
( mictoboy shitting in your cunt since, Sun 9 Jun 2019, 19:34, archived)

I like bovril

( Smash Monkey 2 The damp spastic, Sun 9 Jun 2019, 19:34, archived)

which was my point
weirdo
( mictoboy shitting in your cunt since, Sun 9 Jun 2019, 19:37, archived)

No
Ginger biscuits with brown sauce on is weird
( Smash Monkey 2 The damp spastic, Sun 9 Jun 2019, 19:49, archived)

Cancel my 1am then pls

( mongychops, Sun 9 Jun 2019, 20:39, archived)

Well at least I won't have to hose down the crate again

( Smash Monkey 2 The damp spastic, Sun 9 Jun 2019, 21:12, archived)

Who's the bear shoots through the air

(97800, Sun 9 Jun 2019, 20:34, archived)

superted?
no idea
( mictoboy shitting in your cunt since, Sun 9 Jun 2019, 20:48, archived)

Hello

( Major Turd for tonight only, Mon 10 Jun 2019, 0:26, archived)

Morning

( Smash Monkey 2 The damp spastic, Sun 9 Jun 2019, 5:04, archived)

Yo

( mongychops, Sun 9 Jun 2019, 8:03, archived)

All the other lazy cunts are still asleep
I'm in work tonight so I'm not going to bed till about 9
( Smash Monkey 2 The damp spastic, Sun 9 Jun 2019, 8:13, archived)

Fuck it, I'm off to bed

( Smash Monkey 2 The damp spastic, Sun 9 Jun 2019, 9:25, archived)

I'm damaged, send help
One of the best gigs I've ever been to, last night. Out fucking standing.
( Queef Richard's U r a 🔔🔚, Sun 9 Jun 2019, 10:53, archived)

That Steve Hillage fella was it now?
Ah, that's grand, so.
( .Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Sun 9 Jun 2019, 11:42, archived)

So it was, so he was

( Queef Richard's U r a 🔔🔚, Sun 9 Jun 2019, 12:57, archived)

Does he still do the stuff from Frampton Comes Alive?

( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Sun 9 Jun 2019, 12:24, archived)

If he did, I'd 'show him the way' to the fackin ospital

( Queef Richard's U r a 🔔🔚, Sun 9 Jun 2019, 12:57, archived)

He was so good in Humble Pie, should have died after that

( Queef Richard's U r a 🔔🔚, Sun 9 Jun 2019, 13:14, archived)

Are there still all three of the original Fun Boy Three?

( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Sun 9 Jun 2019, 12:25, archived)

Yes but they're older now so they're Fun Man Three

( Queef Richard's U r a 🔔🔚, Sun 9 Jun 2019, 12:58, archived)

Which one of them died, was it Milli, or Vanilli?

( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Sun 9 Jun 2019, 12:26, archived)

It was Willi

( Queef Richard's U r a 🔔🔚, Sun 9 Jun 2019, 12:56, archived)

I only know one of Lieutenant Pigeon's hits, can you remind us of a few others?

( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Sun 9 Jun 2019, 12:28, archived)

There's the sequel: Mouldy Old Deux.

( .Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Sun 9 Jun 2019, 12:40, archived)

Yes

( Queef Richard's U r a 🔔🔚, Sun 9 Jun 2019, 12:58, archived)

Do they ever take the womble suits off during the gig?

( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Sun 9 Jun 2019, 12:29, archived)

Only for the wanking medley

( Queef Richard's U r a 🔔🔚, Sun 9 Jun 2019, 12:59, archived)

And what genre of music is Plastic Bertrand doing now?

( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Sun 9 Jun 2019, 12:30, archived)

??
( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Sun 9 Jun 2019, 12:31, archived)

Man I love Muse

( Queef Richard's U r a 🔔🔚, Sun 9 Jun 2019, 13:02, archived)

lol

( .Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Sun 9 Jun 2019, 13:03, archived)

derek zoolander is looking well

(97800, Sun 9 Jun 2019, 13:12, archived)

Ghanaian bagpipe funk

( Queef Richard's U r a 🔔🔚, Sun 9 Jun 2019, 13:17, archived)

Shout-out to the fruit counter jockeys at the supermarket for putting an "Apple, blackcurrant and mint" label on a bottle of tomato juice.
Cheers guys.
( .Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Sun 9 Jun 2019, 11:45, archived)

www.youtube.com/watch?v=JGf6TP6hZXc
( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Sun 9 Jun 2019, 12:38, archived)

Lileeps are well shit

( bent reznor the brownward spiral, Sun 9 Jun 2019, 14:32, archived)

Stick to roblox m8

( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Sun 9 Jun 2019, 15:45, archived)

Gonna be a roblok, get busy

(97800, Sun 9 Jun 2019, 15:48, archived)

3hrs in some virtual reality and gaming centre (didn't do any VR), now I have a headache.
What shit are you too old for?
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Sat 8 Jun 2019, 18:50, archived)

Alright, Murtaugh Munch.
Am I, as a fortysomething, too old for computer games? Because I've been playing them for most of the day.
( .Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Sat 8 Jun 2019, 18:57, archived)

I used to game all the time.
Don't really have the time anymore. I blame wearing a headset for the headache, though.
Nonetheless, grow the fuck up and do something mature and boring. Take up gardening, or something equally shit.
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Sat 8 Jun 2019, 19:07, archived)

Funny, I was actually thinking earlier I should learn how to do plants.
Not so I can get into rockeries and hydrangeas and all that guff, but just so I can have a couple of plants around the house that will add a bit of extra oxygen to the place and not cark it on me.
( .Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Sat 8 Jun 2019, 19:13, archived)

www.amazon.co.uk/Best-Complete-Setup-Filter-Light/dp/B01KOVUR4I/
( mongychops, Sat 8 Jun 2019, 20:38, archived)

He'
I saw a time-lapse video on YouTube of someone who managed to grow a very respectable 6-foot-tall weed plant on their balcony using nothing more than fertiliser and sunshine. Then again, I suspect them of living somewhere considerably sunnier than my neck of the woods.
( .Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Sat 8 Jun 2019, 20:46, archived)

One plant takes 4 months to smokeable , so you need to plan

( mongychops, Sat 8 Jun 2019, 21:16, archived)

I need to find a sativa supplier.
My current guy deals only in indica.
( .Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Sat 8 Jun 2019, 21:21, archived)

b3ta.com/talk/8020232
(97800, Sat 8 Jun 2019, 23:39, archived)

Dunno.
Saw a big fire from, my window. Jordanhill Campus apparently.

i.imgur.com/6hQYlw1.jpg
( Slippery Mick ‏, Sat 8 Jun 2019, 18:58, archived)

youtu.be/XchwE9zVdnw
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Sat 8 Jun 2019, 19:08, archived)

When you took off your vr helmet did you discover some tea and biscuits on your bedside table?
You dirty old bollocks.
( Slippery Mick ‏, Sat 8 Jun 2019, 19:08, archived)

lol, helmet

( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Sat 8 Jun 2019, 19:11, archived)

B3ta

( mongychops, Sat 8 Jun 2019, 19:24, archived)

Should I buy a seiko 5?

( Slippery Mick ‏, Sat 8 Jun 2019, 19:31, archived)

Great watches , excellent movement, bracelet can be a bit rattling but for the money

( mongychops, Sat 8 Jun 2019, 20:10, archived)

The one I like seemed to have a fabric strap, almost nato but not quite.
www.dogsonacid.com/attachments/download-jpeg.158839/

Don't see how I can go wrong for less than a ton.
( Slippery Mick ‏, Sat 8 Jun 2019, 20:44, archived)

I've got watches I hated as done as I opened the box. No point talking to me. I've still got the cheap pen with a digital display I gave my grandad for Christmas when I was a kid

( mongychops, Sat 8 Jun 2019, 21:35, archived)

Are you politely telling me you think it's hideous?

( Slippery Mick ‏, Sat 8 Jun 2019, 21:50, archived)

Nah, but go see one if you can, but I don't like day dates normally, if you don't know the day get help , a few exceptions tho

( mongychops, Sat 8 Jun 2019, 22:08, archived)

Eyeballing it first is a good shout.

( Slippery Mick ‏, Sat 8 Jun 2019, 22:18, archived)

male modelling

( bent reznor the brownward spiral, Sat 8 Jun 2019, 19:43, archived)

my bullshit

( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Sat 8 Jun 2019, 20:45, archived)

some cunt on my street got arrested just before 6 this morning.

I'm too old to be woken up before 6 at a weekend.
( bent reznor the brownward spiral, Sat 8 Jun 2019, 20:52, archived)

That was me m8.

( .Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Sat 8 Jun 2019, 20:52, archived)

You ain't that old then if you are not already thinking I should get up

( mongychops, Sat 8 Jun 2019, 21:36, archived)

The kid's menu

( Smash Monkey 2 The damp spastic, Sat 8 Jun 2019, 22:16, archived)

Is she?

(97800, Sat 8 Jun 2019, 23:43, archived)

Life

( Cheers Cheers, Sat 8 Jun 2019, 22:50, archived)

Oh life

(97800, Sat 8 Jun 2019, 23:43, archived)

morning

( bent reznor the brownward spiral, Sat 8 Jun 2019, 6:19, archived)

Couldn't sleep?

( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Sat 8 Jun 2019, 7:41, archived)

woke up early

( bent reznor the brownward spiral, Sat 8 Jun 2019, 7:42, archived)

I'm at risk of being trapped in town during the annual truck convoy.

( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Sat 8 Jun 2019, 10:04, archived)

nu
( Mr. Tea dole-nonce-amuser extraordinaire, Sat 8 Jun 2019, 18:29, archived)

That's quite a specialist service.

( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Sat 8 Jun 2019, 18:47, archived)

Probably in emvee's top ten

(97800, Sat 8 Jun 2019, 19:13, archived)

Also,
t
p
( Mr. Tea dole-nonce-amuser extraordinaire, Sat 8 Jun 2019, 23:57, archived)

Morning
Bored out of my fucking gourd. Not a customer since 3 o'clock and I'm stuck here for another 2 hours
( Smash Monkey 2 The damp spastic, Sat 8 Jun 2019, 7:52, archived)

Is there an early bird special?

( mongychops, Sat 8 Jun 2019, 8:19, archived)

No
It's pissed down all night, our last customer told us town is empty, nobody is going out in this weather
( Smash Monkey 2 The damp spastic, Sat 8 Jun 2019, 8:22, archived)

People don’t want to have sex when it’s raining?
first I’ve heard
( mictoboy shitting in your cunt since, Sat 8 Jun 2019, 8:56, archived)

It's always slow when the weather is bad

( Smash Monkey 2 The damp spastic, Sat 8 Jun 2019, 9:24, archived)

Heavy rain is a
solid reason to stay in and wank.
(Ooooh_cuntroversials_sockpuppet Make O/T great again., Sat 8 Jun 2019, 9:43, archived)

That's what the bloke who phoned about 2a.m thought
Told him to fuck off
( Smash Monkey 2 The damp spastic, Sat 8 Jun 2019, 10:35, archived)

"Hi, Smash, it's 2am and I'm bored and lonely, should I have a wank?"

( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Sat 8 Jun 2019, 11:27, archived)

That's the last fucking time I go there, rung up just to let them know I wouldn't be able to keep my appointment and this is the thanks I get

(97800, Sat 8 Jun 2019, 11:59, archived)

Leave an unfavourable review on TripAdvisor.

( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Sat 8 Jun 2019, 12:08, archived)

Didn't juggle my balls at the correct speed. 2/5

(97800, Sat 8 Jun 2019, 12:17, archived)

His tip is always unfavourable
And cheesy
( Smash Monkey 2 The damp spastic, Sat 8 Jun 2019, 13:33, archived)

"Receptionist", yeah right

(97800, Sat 8 Jun 2019, 13:37, archived)

Trust me
Nobody is paying £50 for my overworked clam
( Smash Monkey 2 The damp spastic, Sat 8 Jun 2019, 13:58, archived)

Punternet is like trip advisor for brasses, it is desolate

( Slippery Mick ‏, Sat 8 Jun 2019, 15:25, archived)

I had a look on that ages ago and found out that even the small and sleepy commuter belt town where I grew up had a lady listed.

( .Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Sat 8 Jun 2019, 16:03, archived)

Me and a mate got bored and looked through adult work to see what was about locally.
I didn't realise that 'travel companion' was a service outside curb your enthusiasm.
( Slippery Mick ‏, Sat 8 Jun 2019, 16:23, archived)

I'm almost certainly happier not knowing about that.

( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Sat 8 Jun 2019, 17:17, archived)

One of them complained the kids in the street called him a pervert when he was seen leaving the flat.

( Slippery Mick ‏, Sat 8 Jun 2019, 18:57, archived)

I am considering a green seiko 5.
Is this a good idea?
( Slippery Mick ‏, Sat 8 Jun 2019, 16:24, archived)

Ugh

(97800, Sat 8 Jun 2019, 8:08, archived)

'ning

( brooza wonders how long a sig can be and if this will fit, Sat 8 Jun 2019, 9:05, archived)

Mooning

( H.B.Mupps, Sat 8 Jun 2019, 9:15, archived)

My guffs are truly malevolent this morning
I've had to open the back door
( Queef Richard's U r a 🔔🔚, Sat 8 Jun 2019, 9:15, archived)

Both a euphemism and not a euphemism

( Queef Richard's U r a 🔔🔚, Sat 8 Jun 2019, 9:15, archived)

Schrodinger's shart

(97800, Sat 8 Jun 2019, 13:15, archived)

wouldn't opening the back door make it worse?

( willenium Fist bump for verification, Sat 8 Jun 2019, 13:48, archived)

Like, yeah, yeah?

( .Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Sat 8 Jun 2019, 10:00, archived)

Hello, Matt Bianco?

(97800, Sat 8 Jun 2019, 12:01, archived)

Dunno who that is soz.

( .Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Sat 8 Jun 2019, 12:44, archived)

:)

( Queef Richard's U r a 🔔🔚, Sat 8 Jun 2019, 18:35, archived)

pub time

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Sat 8 Jun 2019, 13:22, archived)

Afternoon

( willenium Fist bump for verification, Sat 8 Jun 2019, 13:42, archived)

Cheers

( broadsword w⚓, Fri 7 Jun 2019, 17:01, archived)

Cheers

( $$ ✅, Fri 7 Jun 2019, 17:13, archived)

Cheers

( Queef Richard's U r a 🔔🔚, Fri 7 Jun 2019, 17:15, archived)

cheers

( bent reznor the brownward spiral, Fri 7 Jun 2019, 17:27, archived)

cheers

( mictoboy shitting in your cunt since, Fri 7 Jun 2019, 17:44, archived)

Dearest b,
Cheers

m x
( mongychops, Fri 7 Jun 2019, 17:45, archived)

CHIZ

( .Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Fri 7 Jun 2019, 17:53, archived)

Alright

( Cheers Cheers, Fri 7 Jun 2019, 18:07, archived)

alright chrs

( mongychops, Fri 7 Jun 2019, 18:59, archived)

Cheers & Biscarts

( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Fri 7 Jun 2019, 18:20, archived)

Cheers

( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Fri 7 Jun 2019, 18:36, archived)

Cheers.
What are we celebrating?
( Boris Johnson's Press Secretary, Fri 7 Jun 2019, 19:34, archived)

It's the Queen's birthday tomorrow

( Queef Richard's U r a 🔔🔚, Fri 7 Jun 2019, 20:00, archived)

Aw shit, I'll text her early then pop out for something

( mongychops, Fri 7 Jun 2019, 20:02, archived)

Don't worry
If you miss it, she's having another one in August
( Smash Monkey 2 The damp spastic, Fri 7 Jun 2019, 21:07, archived)

Cher's

(97800, Fri 7 Jun 2019, 19:35, archived)

alright dribble

( bent reznor the brownward spiral, Fri 7 Jun 2019, 19:47, archived)

$$

(97800, Fri 7 Jun 2019, 19:48, archived)

lol

( Queef Richard's U r a 🔔🔚, Fri 7 Jun 2019, 20:00, archived)

Cheers

( Smash Monkey 2 The damp spastic, Fri 7 Jun 2019, 19:56, archived)

toast

( Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Fri 7 Jun 2019, 20:40, archived)

Cheers on toast

(97800, Fri 7 Jun 2019, 20:46, archived)