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I want a cat now. What do you want? You cant say a cat

(Nicki Minaj, Tue 9 Feb 2021, 19:08, archived)

a new speakers
cats are cool tho. can't go wrong with a decent cat.
(Literally Hitler stop playing with my jewlirium, Tue 9 Feb 2021, 19:13, archived)

You seem to buy a lot of speakers, do really need so many

(Nicki Minaj, Tue 9 Feb 2021, 19:20, archived)

probably absolutely not. but i like listening to music and they hold their value and it's just nice to experiment.
i mean they really hold their value. sometimes you can make money.
(Literally Hitler stop playing with my jewlirium, Tue 9 Feb 2021, 19:27, archived)

youtu.be/ICIx4Dscuac
(Literally Hitler stop playing with my jewlirium, Tue 9 Feb 2021, 19:32, archived)

Yeah but surely you have to run speaker in with hours of music, if you keep swapping you wont get the right experience

(Nicki Minaj, Tue 9 Feb 2021, 19:38, archived)

that's bollocks imo
right up there with same speaker wire lengths
(Literally Hitler stop playing with my jewlirium, Tue 9 Feb 2021, 19:41, archived)

Well you know better than what hifi and the people who sell them I guess

(Nicki Minaj, Tue 9 Feb 2021, 19:44, archived)

i guess i do having owned and listened to hundreds of pairs of speakers personally.

(Literally Hitler stop playing with my jewlirium, Tue 9 Feb 2021, 19:45, archived)

Yeah I doubt the people who make them have. Have you tried telling them they are as good out of the box as to what they reccomend?

(Nicki Minaj, Tue 9 Feb 2021, 19:47, archived)

mate your ears get used to the speakers after a while. that's it. it's snake oil.

why would the people that make them say that? errrr.... oh who knows! i can't think of any reason! can you?
(Literally Hitler stop playing with my jewlirium, Tue 9 Feb 2021, 19:51, archived)

How is running speakers in snake oil? You dont even have to play it through the anp, just work the speakers you own to get the best sound for 20hrs or more

(Nicki Minaj, Tue 9 Feb 2021, 19:54, archived)

i just work them up into a decent sweat by leaving them in a room
with me and your ex wife
(Literally Hitler stop playing with my jewlirium, Tue 9 Feb 2021, 19:56, archived)

Oh are you suggesting they want them to run out a day quicker? Gotcha

(Nicki Minaj, Tue 9 Feb 2021, 19:55, archived)

they're always looking for an extra buck.
as are we all.
(Literally Hitler stop playing with my jewlirium, Tue 9 Feb 2021, 19:57, archived)

also a really good system sounds so amazing
doesn't even have to be loud, in fact it's better when it's not loud but it seems so loud, then someone says something and you realise it's pretty quiet, but the bass is full and the middle is all there and the highs are sweet and it doesn't have to be loud for it all to be there. that's when you know you got a decent setup imo. if i played my system *loud* the doors would be literally shaking in their frames, but i don't ever need to, and i don't even want to. a place for everything. and everything in my ears.
(Literally Hitler stop playing with my jewlirium, Tue 9 Feb 2021, 19:40, archived)

We spent ages getting a good setup.
It really is worth all the effort to get it setup properly and worth spending some money. I imagine though at some point you reach the point of diminishing returns and you can just plug money in without getting any massive gains.
(

Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Tue 9 Feb 2021, 19:52, archived)

yes of course! you can literally spen 75,000 on speakers
and then realise that what you have is apparently wank because these ones are 950,000! i just like listening to decent (but different), speakers.

if you have speakers YOU are happy with there is NO reason to change other than maybe if you're wondering if there is something you're missing, which there probably is, but is it worth £2000? probably not.
(Literally Hitler stop playing with my jewlirium, Tue 9 Feb 2021, 19:54, archived)

Yeah, when we went and looked for a new turntable we sat in with the salesman on their billy whizz setup.
He kept bringing better and better systems until my wallet and my ears lined up
(

Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Tue 9 Feb 2021, 19:57, archived)

yes. salesman.
not musicman.
(Literally Hitler stop playing with my jewlirium, Tue 9 Feb 2021, 19:59, archived)

youtu.be/69lcRB1qco8
(Literally Hitler stop playing with my jewlirium, Tue 9 Feb 2021, 19:59, archived)

I do not understand

(

Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Tue 9 Feb 2021, 20:00, archived)

are your ears doing the driving?
or are you being led? i dunno. just saying.
(Literally Hitler stop playing with my jewlirium, Tue 9 Feb 2021, 20:01, archived)

I still do not understand

(

Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Tue 9 Feb 2021, 20:02, archived)

salepeople will lead you to a sale is what i'm saying. when have your ears and wallet ever had a connecting line before?

(Literally Hitler stop playing with my jewlirium, Tue 9 Feb 2021, 20:04, archived)

Oh, I see, you're being obtuse.
I just listened to stuff until I couldn't hear it getting significantly better and then I bought that. Salesman was just a throwaway term for the man in the shop that was helping.
(

Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Tue 9 Feb 2021, 21:16, archived)

i hope the speakers you were listening to had been broken in for 30 hrs before you tried them
is all i'm saying because if not then FUCK KNOWS WHAT WILL HAPPEN EH
(Literally Hitler stop playing with my jewlirium, Tue 9 Feb 2021, 21:21, archived)

Today's the first time I had heard about breaking in speakers.
I'm inclined to side with mongy just because he's nicer to me than you are.
(

Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Tue 9 Feb 2021, 21:23, archived)

i'm very nice
wtf are you talking about you festering dingo kidney?
also: being nice is how they get you
(Literally Hitler stop playing with my jewlirium, Tue 9 Feb 2021, 21:58, archived)

Jfc go to bed you unstable tosser

(

Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Tue 9 Feb 2021, 23:25, archived)

I want the metal removed from my nose.
Whenever it gets below freezing my nose gets so cold.
(

Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Tue 9 Feb 2021, 19:50, archived)

teenage piercings eh? not even once.

(Literally Hitler stop playing with my jewlirium, Tue 9 Feb 2021, 19:58, archived)

No mate. A man punched me very hard in the face.
And then I cried.
(

Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Tue 9 Feb 2021, 20:01, archived)

a girl punched me in the heart once
it had the same effect
(Literally Hitler stop playing with my jewlirium, Tue 9 Feb 2021, 20:05, archived)

I'm going to invent a set of cat-shaped speakers and that way everybody will be happy

(

Turing's Artificial Hand Sig Sauer, Tue 9 Feb 2021, 19:50, archived)

i'm so happy right meow

(Literally Hitler stop playing with my jewlirium, Tue 9 Feb 2021, 19:57, archived)

i though that was funny but probably 'top dadding' is funnier
in a universe where everyone eats their own shit and also their kids are made of their own shit. 3rd level shit is probably funnier i spose. WANKERS.

if you can work that out better than me fair play send an email because it's not as simple as it first appears. you queers.
(Literally Hitler stop playing with my jewlirium, Tue 9 Feb 2021, 20:19, archived)

i don't think the person that posted 'top dadding'
was trying to calculate 3rd or 4th level post generational shite.

so, props to them tbh.
(Literally Hitler stop playing with my jewlirium, Tue 9 Feb 2021, 20:21, archived)

stop sticking up for these internet weirdos of whom you are clearly not one

(Literally Hitler stop playing with my jewlirium, Tue 9 Feb 2021, 20:23, archived)

you're right.
i've got shit to do
(Literally Hitler stop playing with my jewlirium, Tue 9 Feb 2021, 20:24, archived)

warren zevon is dead
just like b3ta
(Literally Hitler stop playing with my jewlirium, Tue 9 Feb 2021, 20:44, archived)

I have a Maine coon cat
She's an evil cunt but I love her
(

Smash Monkey 2 Anyone know a good therapist in South Africa?, Tue 9 Feb 2021, 22:13, archived)

i love you

(Literally Hitler stop playing with my jewlirium, Tue 9 Feb 2021, 22:14, archived)

Rip brb

(dribble, Tue 9 Feb 2021, 22:44, archived)

The correct term is Maine African American Cat.

(Agent Pr1ck llǝɯs ǝɥʇ sʇI ˙ǝɔɐld sᴉɥʇ ǝʇɐɥ l, Tue 9 Feb 2021, 23:09, archived)

A kicking pair of trainers

(dribble, Tue 9 Feb 2021, 22:28, archived)

Nah m8, don't fall into that trap. My wife thought she wanted a rabbit, then it turned out she was just mental because she was in the early stages of pregnancy
and now we're stuck with a fucking rabbit that I have to feed and has somehow conned me into paying £8 a month for rabbit insurance, as if I want a fucking replacement if it dies.
(Agent Pr1ck llǝɯs ǝɥʇ sʇI ˙ǝɔɐld sᴉɥʇ ǝʇɐɥ l, Tue 9 Feb 2021, 23:08, archived)

t
(dribble, Tue 9 Feb 2021, 23:20, archived)

She does seem to have a thing for jews

(Agent Pr1ck llǝɯs ǝɥʇ sʇI ˙ǝɔɐld sᴉɥʇ ǝʇɐɥ l, Tue 9 Feb 2021, 23:25, archived)

to those not 2.0
i salute you
(Literally Hitler stop playing with my jewlirium, Tue 9 Feb 2021, 16:53, archived)

you're supposed to salute with your hand

(

Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Tue 9 Feb 2021, 17:35, archived)

feeling sexy tho

(Literally Hitler stop playing with my jewlirium, Tue 9 Feb 2021, 17:38, archived)

youtu.be/vnJ97PVnfe8
(Literally Hitler stop playing with my jewlirium, Tue 9 Feb 2021, 17:39, archived)

youtu.be/yyFhXAdz0cM
(Literally Hitler stop playing with my jewlirium, Tue 9 Feb 2021, 17:46, archived)

youtu.be/A_UFawnJwOc
(Literally Hitler stop playing with my jewlirium, Tue 9 Feb 2021, 17:50, archived)

youtu.be/hweq7-aG8Hs
(Literally Hitler stop playing with my jewlirium, Tue 9 Feb 2021, 17:54, archived)

youtu.be/X_bFO1SNRZg
(Literally Hitler stop playing with my jewlirium, Tue 9 Feb 2021, 18:00, archived)

why do i feel that was on a film soundtrack?

(

Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Tue 9 Feb 2021, 17:56, archived)

not sure if it was, but i know what you mean. was a good album.

(Literally Hitler stop playing with my jewlirium, Tue 9 Feb 2021, 18:03, archived)

i always liked this one
(Literally Hitler stop playing with my jewlirium, Tue 9 Feb 2021, 18:04, archived)

i like a lot of their stuff tho tbh

(Literally Hitler stop playing with my jewlirium, Tue 9 Feb 2021, 18:10, archived)

anyway, i'm off to buy some new speakers. genuinely true.
*tips cap* good day to you madam.
(Literally Hitler stop playing with my jewlirium, Tue 9 Feb 2021, 18:15, archived)

And to you, sir

(

Smash Monkey 2 Anyone know a good therapist in South Africa?, Tue 9 Feb 2021, 22:13, archived)

sir madam

(Literally Hitler stop playing with my jewlirium, Tue 9 Feb 2021, 22:42, archived)

Enough of that
Have you ever been attacked by an animal? What was it, and how bad was the injury? Why do I ask, you say? Well mind your own fucken business, that's why.
(

Two Hats 🎩🎩, Tue 9 Feb 2021, 16:10, archived)

you mean apart from the time I got stang off a bee and my bum got swole?

(

tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 9 Feb 2021, 16:21, archived)

But you attacked the bee, the bee is the victim here

(Nicki Minaj, Tue 9 Feb 2021, 16:28, archived)

+ She said 'You're movin' with your auntie and uncle in Bel Aowle

(

Cheers Cheers, Tue 9 Feb 2021, 16:55, archived)

Yeah, apart from when you stang off a bee and your bum went swole

(

Two Hats 🎩🎩, Tue 9 Feb 2021, 16:56, archived)

well, apart from when i got stang off a bee and my bum went swole, I once had a cow rear up on its hind legs at me
luckily I was able to push mrs tangle in front of me and take refuge behind her
(

tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 9 Feb 2021, 17:00, archived)

Fucken cow bastard
You I mean
(

Two Hats 🎩🎩, Tue 9 Feb 2021, 17:21, archived)

Look what you've done, you cross old wasp!

(

Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Tue 9 Feb 2021, 17:10, archived)

I've owned several cats so I've been randomly attacked numerous times

(Nicki Minaj, Tue 9 Feb 2021, 16:26, archived)

^
my old cat Benny used to maul the shit out of me, I looked like a self-harmer
(

Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Tue 9 Feb 2021, 16:54, archived)

~~my old cat~~ I'm a
~~used to maul the shit out of me, I looked like a self-harmer~~ neurgh neurgh neurgh
(

Two Hats 🎩🎩, Tue 9 Feb 2021, 16:57, archived)

bit childish mate, I thought better of you

(

Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Tue 9 Feb 2021, 17:05, archived)

no wonder *insert name of a million ex /chatters here* left

(

Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Tue 9 Feb 2021, 17:05, archived)

~~bit childish mate, I thought better of you~~
MMMMNEURRGH I AM A GAY SPAZ AND I LOVE IT UP MY BUM-BUM FROM OTHER GAY SPAZZES
(

Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Tue 9 Feb 2021, 17:11, archived)

Benny the ball?

(Nicki Minaj, Tue 9 Feb 2021, 16:57, archived)

bang on
The only way my then gf was able to get me to agree to having a cat was if I could name him after Benny from Top Cat
(

Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Tue 9 Feb 2021, 17:04, archived)

My last cat was called Charlton, natch

(Nicki Minaj, Tue 9 Feb 2021, 17:06, archived)

My Nan's cat was called Tee Cee
There
(

Two Hats 🎩🎩, Tue 9 Feb 2021, 17:20, archived)

Look at this bonk eyed nutter, I'd lol in his face everytime I saw it
thechive.com/2021/02/08/meet-crazy-eyes-the-worlds-best-rescue-cat-25-photos/?fbclid=IwAR2TjZS7RPHOJnxLIYQMBuiECZ9IR5GaavHjX4F5u42iYYmOt3tcuxaw5yU
(Nicki Minaj, Tue 9 Feb 2021, 17:23, archived)

awesome

(

Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Tue 9 Feb 2021, 17:27, archived)

Seems to pull a cliff richard lip curl sometimes too

(Nicki Minaj, Tue 9 Feb 2021, 17:32, archived)

yep, there's a reason i named my cat Azrael

(

Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Tue 9 Feb 2021, 17:09, archived)

A young goat gave me the third degree, not enjoyable

(dribble, Tue 9 Feb 2021, 16:29, archived)

A young Phil 'the power ' Taylor? I assume he's considered goat

(Nicki Minaj, Tue 9 Feb 2021, 16:34, archived)

not necessarily
www.youtube.com/watch?v=95Lj-CYTR_Y
(

Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Tue 9 Feb 2021, 16:45, archived)

I wont deny ladies love him, but self proclaimed goat? Nah

(Nicki Minaj, Tue 9 Feb 2021, 16:49, archived)

he is very cute

(

Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Tue 9 Feb 2021, 17:58, archived)

ronnie o'sullivan is the goat

(

Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Tue 9 Feb 2021, 17:14, archived)

been stung numerous times
and my cat is an evil little bitch who will claw me whenever i try to brush her fur, but the worst was the pigeons. in london when i was a kid, me and my dad went to trafalgar square one day and he thought it'd be funny to put birdseed on my head. it fucking wasn't.
(

Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Tue 9 Feb 2021, 17:08, archived)

Top dadding, there.

(

Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Tue 9 Feb 2021, 17:11, archived)

joke's on him, i've got his sense of humour
he'll pay
(

Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Tue 9 Feb 2021, 17:15, archived)

Hate your child? Why not blind them with birdshit and get them pecked to death

(dribble, Tue 9 Feb 2021, 17:15, archived)

yeah, i was already partially blind
the reason we were in london was because i'd had surgery at moorfield's eye hospital. i had a fucking eyepatch on. i was chased round by those fucking birds like a little pink pirate.
(

Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Tue 9 Feb 2021, 17:18, archived)

Bitten by the neighbours' dog when I was a kid, just a scratch really but I was bricking it
various scratches over the years from overenthusiastic cats
(

Turing's Artificial Hand Sig Sauer, Tue 9 Feb 2021, 17:13, archived)

Oi bin badgered by boars and buffaloed by badgers but never the other ways around.

(

brb Monkhouse Stampede, Tue 9 Feb 2021, 18:00, archived)

I got 7/10
www.bbc.co.uk/programmes/articles/4w9HDZHDTK3g9cqKNTKk20G/so-you-think-you-know-more-grammar-than-your-children
(

garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Tue 9 Feb 2021, 13:40, archived)

turns out I can't remember any of this stuff, I'm rather ashamed of myself :(
I can usually spot and correct bad English with ease, but don't seem to know the terminology any more, if indeed I ever did
(

Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Tue 9 Feb 2021, 13:58, archived)

that's because it's all changed
the past progressive used to be called the imperfect tense

'imperfect' is probably too un-PC now, or some such bollocks
(

Turing's Artificial Hand Sig Sauer, Tue 9 Feb 2021, 14:00, archived)

that makes me feel a little better

(

Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Tue 9 Feb 2021, 14:54, archived)

or should that be fewer worse?

(

garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Tue 9 Feb 2021, 15:11, archived)

quite a lot of it wasn't taught to the much older generation to which you belong
also ur wel fick lol
(

tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 9 Feb 2021, 15:21, archived)

going to whack you over the head with my framed HSC now

(

Turing's Artificial Hand Sig Sauer, Tue 9 Feb 2021, 15:28, archived)

6/10

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Tue 9 Feb 2021, 14:01, archived)

i got 10/10 because i'm not a child

(

The Doveston haunted by the memory of his own amnesia, Tue 9 Feb 2021, 14:16, archived)

8/10
Former English teacher. Whoops.
(

Cassius Kray floats like a butterfly, stings like a trout, Tue 9 Feb 2021, 14:18, archived)

nah

(

Two Hats 🎩🎩, Tue 9 Feb 2021, 14:35, archived)

3/10
Guessed every single one.
(

brb Monkhouse Stampede, Tue 9 Feb 2021, 14:35, archived)

I got none
despite having an o level english language
(

Boris Johnson's Press Secretary, Tue 9 Feb 2021, 15:42, archived)

6/10: Kelsey Grammer

(

Cheers Cheers, Tue 9 Feb 2021, 14:40, archived)

widdles / plops

(

broadsword now that's fresh, Tue 9 Feb 2021, 14:50, archived)

I got 7/10 because I have a child

(

tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 9 Feb 2021, 15:20, archived)

6/10
definitely a bit rusty
(

Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Tue 9 Feb 2021, 15:31, archived)

OK then have a new thread, see if I care
We've got the mould man in today, how fricken cool is that?
(

Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Tue 9 Feb 2021, 11:15, archived)

worst superhero ever

(

Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Tue 9 Feb 2021, 11:16, archived)

er, SOMEONE is forgetting about SuperMatt, aren't they?

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Tue 9 Feb 2021, 11:19, archived)

I tried and failed to find his 'epic cape wind' video on youtube the other day :(

(

Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Tue 9 Feb 2021, 11:52, archived)

you're welcome
youtu.be/ofvMmLqIcGo
(

tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 9 Feb 2021, 12:32, archived)

#stones

(

tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 9 Feb 2021, 12:33, archived)

He's not the hero we need, but he's the hero we deserve.

(The Porcupine From Purgatory we of all lost both have them, Tue 9 Feb 2021, 13:25, archived)

didn't mean to put that there, but it's done now.
(The Porcupine From Purgatory we of all lost both have them, Tue 9 Feb 2021, 13:26, archived)

fucking lol

(

Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Tue 9 Feb 2021, 12:45, archived)

Eric Cape Wind?

(

garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Tue 9 Feb 2021, 13:15, archived)

Why not try the gif?
ibb.co/yYD46jt
(

Two Hats 🎩🎩, Tue 9 Feb 2021, 13:55, archived)

well, there goes my afternoon

(

Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Tue 9 Feb 2021, 13:59, archived)

I've ordered a record I want for my wife's birthday present
how fricken cool is that?
(

tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 9 Feb 2021, 11:18, archived)

clever!
I think my lucky wife might be getting a rotisserie attachment for the bbq, some ska 45s and a big bag'o'shoe for hers
(

Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Tue 9 Feb 2021, 11:53, archived)

she deserves it

(

tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 9 Feb 2021, 12:32, archived)

I know, she's had a tough time of it, thought I'd really pull out all the stops for her

(

Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Tue 9 Feb 2021, 13:49, archived)

Its fucking chucking it down with snerr in mayfair , fuck it I'm going home before it's too late

(Nicki Minaj, Tue 9 Feb 2021, 11:18, archived)

get out whilst you still can

(

Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Tue 9 Feb 2021, 11:52, archived)

Think I'll go for a walk
Can't spend another day just sitting here reading
(

Smash Monkey 2 Anyone know a good therapist in South Africa?, Tue 9 Feb 2021, 11:39, archived)

I fear I shall have to brave Lidl later

(

Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Tue 9 Feb 2021, 11:54, archived)

I thought I would, too
But it seems I didn't forget to buy deodorant after all
(

Smash Monkey 2 Anyone know a good therapist in South Africa?, Tue 9 Feb 2021, 12:46, archived)

24 seconds of deodorant joke from the early 80s
www.youtube.com/watch?v=iS2N1mBsEdM
(

garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Tue 9 Feb 2021, 13:15, archived)

no need for me to click on that to know what it is

(

Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Tue 9 Feb 2021, 13:50, archived)

How have I never seen this before?

(

Smash Monkey 2 Anyone know a good therapist in South Africa?, Tue 9 Feb 2021, 14:10, archived)

beats me tbh

(

Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Tue 9 Feb 2021, 14:21, archived)

Well I went for a nice 10k run on the beach
it was exceptionally pretty
imgur.com/vqfojyI
(

garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Tue 9 Feb 2021, 13:19, archived)

I never knew Ron and Russell had a dog.

(The Porcupine From Purgatory we of all lost both have them, Tue 9 Feb 2021, 13:27, archived)

that looks like good hikin' country

(

Turing's Artificial Hand Sig Sauer, Tue 9 Feb 2021, 13:38, archived)

~~hik~~ dogg
(

Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Tue 9 Feb 2021, 13:51, archived)

going to do a 50min HIIT bike session when the mould man leaves
I won't put him through the embarrassment of having to listen to me grunting in the loft
(

Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Tue 9 Feb 2021, 13:51, archived)

You don't want to take the mould man up the attic then?

(

garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Tue 9 Feb 2021, 15:11, archived)

i have very little motivation to do anything today
bought a treadmill though, looking forward to using it every day for 2 weeks and then not at all for 2 years and eventually selling it on the local facebook group
(

The Doveston haunted by the memory of his own amnesia, Tue 9 Feb 2021, 13:31, archived)

my wife wants a treadmill
how much did you spend, if you don't mind me asking?
(

Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Tue 9 Feb 2021, 13:59, archived)

£945 lol

(

The Doveston haunted by the memory of his own amnesia, Tue 9 Feb 2021, 14:11, archived)

proper mug me

(

The Doveston haunted by the memory of his own amnesia, Tue 9 Feb 2021, 14:11, archived)

I don't think you are
From what cursory research we've done spending less than about a grand on these things will get nothing but flimsy, rickety shit
(

Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Tue 9 Feb 2021, 14:20, archived)

+don't talk bit

(

Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Tue 9 Feb 2021, 14:21, archived)

I've got the mold man round
My blancmange looks like a fucken rabbit
(

Two Hats 🎩🎩, Tue 9 Feb 2021, 13:39, archived)

oh HO!

(

Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Tue 9 Feb 2021, 13:52, archived)

morning
cold again
(

Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Tue 9 Feb 2021, 7:49, archived)

Yeah and still chucking it down , got my fingerless/ mitten combo gloves on today

(Nicki Minaj, Tue 9 Feb 2021, 7:56, archived)

hoping not to leave the house at all today

(

Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Tue 9 Feb 2021, 7:59, archived)

morning

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Tue 9 Feb 2021, 7:59, archived)

morning

(

Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Tue 9 Feb 2021, 8:05, archived)

WOOOWOOWIKKYWIKKYWILDWILDWEST

(

garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Tue 9 Feb 2021, 8:01, archived)

are....are u ok m8?

(

Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Tue 9 Feb 2021, 8:05, archived)

I'm going slightly round the twist
in my own, harmless way.

Had my weekly night-off-the-sauce last night. Don't feel it's achieved anything.
(

garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Tue 9 Feb 2021, 8:43, archived)

as far as I'm concerned all rules are off until some sense of normality is back

(

Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Tue 9 Feb 2021, 8:45, archived)

I tried wookie meat the other day
it was chewy
(

Turing's Artificial Hand Sig Sauer, Tue 9 Feb 2021, 8:13, archived)

heh

(

Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Tue 9 Feb 2021, 8:23, archived)

Pfft!

(

garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Tue 9 Feb 2021, 8:42, archived)

morning
my weather app helpfully says "-2° / -7°". Probably windchill or sutin

glad I don't have to leave the house anyway
(

Turing's Artificial Hand Sig Sauer, Tue 9 Feb 2021, 8:02, archived)

yeah usually it's 'actual temp' followed by 'feels like', isn't it?
PS morning
(

Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Tue 9 Feb 2021, 8:05, archived)

Not as much snow around as I thought there be

(

Two Hats 🎩🎩, Tue 9 Feb 2021, 8:51, archived)

yeah considering it's snowed pretty much non-stop here for the past day, it doesn't look a lot deeper than it did yesterday morning
that said I can't see out of my skylight
(

Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Tue 9 Feb 2021, 8:58, archived)

The boys went out the front, scooped what little there was off the car
Threw it at each other, then came in. Underwhelming, to say the least
(

Two Hats 🎩🎩, Tue 9 Feb 2021, 9:11, archived)

how much did you think there'd be?

(

tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 9 Feb 2021, 9:05, archived)

More

(

Two Hats 🎩🎩, Tue 9 Feb 2021, 9:10, archived)

and how much is there?

(

tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 9 Feb 2021, 9:15, archived)

not as much

(

Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Tue 9 Feb 2021, 9:23, archived)

s'funny 'cause last night there was a bit more than I thought there'd be
really makes you think
(

tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 9 Feb 2021, 9:27, archived)

I don't know what to believe any more

(

Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Tue 9 Feb 2021, 9:28, archived)

It's all topsy turvy m8

(

Two Hats 🎩🎩, Tue 9 Feb 2021, 9:37, archived)

~~topsy~~ kevin
(

Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Tue 9 Feb 2021, 9:40, archived)

no, I don't really get this either

(

Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Tue 9 Feb 2021, 9:40, archived)

It's ok, I basically got it
And after all, isn't that the point?
(

Two Hats 🎩🎩, Tue 9 Feb 2021, 9:57, archived)

as long as ur happy im happy m8

(

Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Tue 9 Feb 2021, 10:04, archived)

RIP Mary Wilson

(

Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Tue 9 Feb 2021, 9:03, archived)

:(

(

tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 9 Feb 2021, 9:05, archived)

happy safer internet day everyone
stay safe out there x
(

tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 9 Feb 2021, 9:04, archived)

u 2 hun xoxoxox

(

Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Tue 9 Feb 2021, 9:11, archived)

morning tuesday yeah

(

broadsword now that's fresh, Tue 9 Feb 2021, 9:49, archived)

it sure is, m8

(

Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Tue 9 Feb 2021, 9:50, archived)

Morning
It is indeed
(

Smash Monkey 2 Anyone know a good therapist in South Africa?, Tue 9 Feb 2021, 10:03, archived)

yo

(

Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Tue 9 Feb 2021, 10:14, archived)

I ran out to brush the snow away so the tree wouldn't die, came running back in all excited, slipped and almost hurt myself

(dribble, Tue 9 Feb 2021, 11:04, archived)

why would a tree die from snow
they are, on the whole, outdoor plants, surely
(

Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Tue 9 Feb 2021, 11:07, archived)

I'm kinda dumb and kinda smart

(dribble, Tue 9 Feb 2021, 11:17, archived)

9pm dem, alright

(Nicki Minaj, Mon 8 Feb 2021, 21:00, archived)

YES bruv
Going out the back for a smoko in a sec
(

Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Mon 8 Feb 2021, 21:02, archived)

Hes on smoko so leave him alone

(Nicki Minaj, Mon 8 Feb 2021, 21:09, archived)

I've bought a 2003 gold half sovereign fairly cheap, going to mount it and put it on a gold chain. Personal touch and the scrap value pays for it if she diesnt like it . There

(Nicki Minaj, Mon 8 Feb 2021, 21:12, archived)

Can't lose

(

Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Mon 8 Feb 2021, 22:40, archived)

Leant my oculus quest 2 to someone and he's just returned it with all my games reset and a load of dead pixels in one eye.
Never going to do anything nice for anyone ever again.
(Agent Pr1ck llǝɯs ǝɥʇ sʇI ˙ǝɔɐld sᴉɥʇ ǝʇɐɥ l, Mon 8 Feb 2021, 22:27, archived)

Cancelling tomorrow's appointment just in case you prescribe me arsenic

(dribble, Mon 8 Feb 2021, 22:48, archived)

that was me m8

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Mon 8 Feb 2021, 23:27, archived)

So Bru Cru 6:04 est RUN TINGS

(

mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Mon 8 Feb 2021, 23:04, archived)

What ho, knobber's
It's only me (Queef Richard's).

Are you having a nice day? Mine is pretty fucking crap 'tee bee aitch'.
(

Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Mon 8 Feb 2021, 14:43, archived)

I'm sorry to hear that
What's so bad about it?
(

Two Hats 🎩🎩, Mon 8 Feb 2021, 14:44, archived)

an electrician showed up at 9am to do checks for the landlord, was going to take me offline for 20mins or so
Of course it was 1.5h, the cunt. All the work I got ahead of yesterday morning was wiped out and I've only now got back on top of it.

Monday schmonday, that's what I've never said before but might do again in the future.
(

Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Mon 8 Feb 2021, 15:18, archived)

Did he take that long because he spent most of his time talking about carp fishing, doing lines of shoe and pausing to catch pokemon?

(

Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Mon 8 Feb 2021, 15:32, archived)

I had my suspicions when I noticed that all my lagers had gone missing from the fridge

(

Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Mon 8 Feb 2021, 15:34, archived)

The prosecution rests, m'lud.

(

Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Mon 8 Feb 2021, 18:57, archived)

TAKE HIM DIIIINE

(

Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Mon 8 Feb 2021, 20:03, archived)

He’s gone fishing m’lud

(

mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Mon 8 Feb 2021, 23:01, archived)

No the schmonday thing has to stop here

(

mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Mon 8 Feb 2021, 23:00, archived)

I did not like it outside today , it's too fucking cold

(Nicki Minaj, Mon 8 Feb 2021, 14:54, archived)

You had an ice day then

(dribble, Mon 8 Feb 2021, 15:11, archived)

Certainly, nearly went arse over about 3 times and that's with decent boots on

(Nicki Minaj, Mon 8 Feb 2021, 15:14, archived)

mrs q decked out when she popped to the shop earlier

(

Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Mon 8 Feb 2021, 15:18, archived)

can you do EICRs?

(

Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Mon 8 Feb 2021, 15:56, archived)

Nope , although you dont have to be to do them nearly all will be carried out by niceic members

(Nicki Minaj, Mon 8 Feb 2021, 16:17, archived)

I need one and it seems it's going to be about £150 inc VAT, scouting around, there's not much variation in price

(

Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Mon 8 Feb 2021, 16:26, archived)

Sounds about right , it would be priced at 4 hours

(Nicki Minaj, Mon 8 Feb 2021, 16:46, archived)

samesies :'(

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Mon 8 Feb 2021, 15:04, archived)

have you tried slamming your bollocks in the fridge door?

(

Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Mon 8 Feb 2021, 15:19, archived)

yes, the firdge door, then the fridge door

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Mon 8 Feb 2021, 15:20, archived)

which did you find was better?

(

Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Mon 8 Feb 2021, 15:35, archived)

the firdge door, obvs

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Mon 8 Feb 2021, 15:42, archived)

Something about giving your kids a treat with a finger

(dribble, Mon 8 Feb 2021, 15:52, archived)

Took me two hours to get to work this morning, usually 15 minutes.
None of the roads seem to have been treated at all, despite the Twitter proclamation by the local council that they were "working through the night". Aye, right.

Still, the snow is very pretty, so that's some consolation.
(The Porcupine From Purgatory we of all lost both have them, Mon 8 Feb 2021, 15:21, archived)

none of the roads round here have been done either
I expect they're doing the fewer shit postcodes first
(

Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Mon 8 Feb 2021, 15:36, archived)

This is how you find out roughly where the council bosses live

(dribble, Mon 8 Feb 2021, 15:42, archived)

in 'council houses'?

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Mon 8 Feb 2021, 17:26, archived)

s'alright I s'pose

(

tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 8 Feb 2021, 15:27, archived)

halfhearted wilbury

(dribble, Mon 8 Feb 2021, 15:32, archived)

that's the spirit

(

Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Mon 8 Feb 2021, 15:35, archived)

It's still snowing and I have to go to the shops
time to look for those crampons I bought off the internet
(

Turing's Artificial Hand Sig Sauer, Mon 8 Feb 2021, 15:45, archived)

alright 'Captain Oates'

(

Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Mon 8 Feb 2021, 16:07, archived)

or 'Wild' to his mates

(

Turing's Artificial Hand Sig Sauer, Mon 8 Feb 2021, 17:10, archived)

Snowed for about 5 minutes earlier
Too cold to go out, so I'm staying in with a book and a bovril
(

Smash Monkey 2 Anyone know a good therapist in South Africa?, Mon 8 Feb 2021, 16:03, archived)

it is rather nippy

(

Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Mon 8 Feb 2021, 16:09, archived)

Indeed
Got the sea winds here, too, which make it even colder. Thank fuck the shop is literally 15 seconds away
(

Smash Monkey 2 Anyone know a good therapist in South Africa?, Mon 8 Feb 2021, 16:20, archived)

Every shop is literally 15 seconds away, if you vary how fast you travel.

(The Porcupine From Purgatory we of all lost both have them, Mon 8 Feb 2021, 23:26, archived)

Same here
Snowed for about 2 minutes.
(

Boris Johnson's Press Secretary, Mon 8 Feb 2021, 16:42, archived)

Having a great day
Some cunt left his lagers in the fridge when I went round to do some work.
(

Boris Johnson's Press Secretary, Mon 8 Feb 2021, 16:42, archived)

Catch many pokemon?

(

Smash Monkey 2 Anyone know a good therapist in South Africa?, Mon 8 Feb 2021, 16:48, archived)

Huh, looks like someone has just deleted an entire NHS database.
Last week: "Don't call us, you WILL be contacted, don't worry, we haven't forgotten about you."
Today: "If we've missed you please get in touch, your responsibility now. If you don't, we'll assume you just want to get sick."
(dribble, Mon 8 Feb 2021, 18:13, archived)

I got one of those letters a few months back
I've tried to call to ask if I'm still on the list, but no one's picking up the phone. Whole thing's fucked
(

Two Hats 🎩🎩, Mon 8 Feb 2021, 18:42, archived)

The health service was a mess even before this virus came along, it was hardly going to improve things

(dribble, Mon 8 Feb 2021, 19:16, archived)

"You're the best around!" so says 80's songsmith, Joe Esposito, in a song penned for evergreen kick-flick "The Karate Kid"
But let me ask you this; what are you the best at? What can you do that makes you feel like nothing's ever gonna keep you down?
(

Two Hats 🎩🎩, Mon 8 Feb 2021, 10:36, archived)

I’m an extremely talented hype man, able to repeat rap lyrics in a wonderful nasal tone.

(Garold Huzzah!, Mon 8 Feb 2021, 10:41, archived)

A very important skill, as you need to be able to cut through the mix

(

Two Hats 🎩🎩, Mon 8 Feb 2021, 12:12, archived)

WANKSMELL

(

Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Mon 8 Feb 2021, 10:47, archived)

Well this wins, obviously

(

Two Hats 🎩🎩, Mon 8 Feb 2021, 12:03, archived)

dunno, haven't felt like that for a while tbh
since I don't have a real answer, time to make up some spectacular-sounding bullshit for the internet

I held my school's shot put, discus and javelin records when I was in the sixth form and got scouted by a national coach for Team GB, but the coach dropped me when he saw how well I was getting on with his supermodel girlfriend
(

Turing's Artificial Hand Sig Sauer, Mon 8 Feb 2021, 10:59, archived)

GO TEAM GB!

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Mon 8 Feb 2021, 11:07, archived)

that reminded me of my school sports day, for some reason
each class had to nominate someone for every event, the class thought it would be funny to nominate me for everything.

it was quite funny sitting in the woods near the playing fields hearing my name being shouted over a tannoy for the 1500 metres whilst trying burn some soap bar into a spliff
(

The Doveston haunted by the memory of his own amnesia, Mon 8 Feb 2021, 11:30, archived)

I can fart the bassline to 'Oh Yeah' by Yello

(

Cheers Cheers, Mon 8 Feb 2021, 11:04, archived)

I'm very good at nearly - but not quite - dying

(

Smash Monkey 2 Anyone know a good therapist in South Africa?, Mon 8 Feb 2021, 11:07, archived)

Thinking of a great comeback, absolute zinger, devastating, funny
... three years after the original conversation.
(

garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Mon 8 Feb 2021, 11:20, archived)

I spend way more time obsessing over old conversations than I should

(

Two Hats 🎩🎩, Mon 8 Feb 2021, 12:13, archived)

#blackmirror

(dribble, Mon 8 Feb 2021, 12:20, archived)

Anal
/ac
(

Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Mon 8 Feb 2021, 11:26, archived)

master of bating

(

Spunky McPunk not dead yet, Mon 8 Feb 2021, 11:33, archived)

i don't know who joe esposito is and frankly i don't want to

(

The Doveston haunted by the memory of his own amnesia, Mon 8 Feb 2021, 11:34, archived)

Still got all my hair and a 28 inch waist

(The Porcupine From Purgatory we of all lost both have them, Mon 8 Feb 2021, 11:35, archived)

+in a carrier bag in my loft

(

Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Mon 8 Feb 2021, 11:37, archived)

#vampiresofsoho

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Mon 8 Feb 2021, 11:37, archived)

#whiskersonkittens

(dribble, Mon 8 Feb 2021, 11:39, archived)

Does the 28 inch waist belong to your inflatable girlfriend?

(

Smash Monkey 2 Anyone know a good therapist in South Africa?, Mon 8 Feb 2021, 11:40, archived)

I tell you now, I can fix most anything.
Takes me a while, but I always get there.
(

Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Mon 8 Feb 2021, 11:41, archived)

now then, now then

(

Turing's Artificial Hand Sig Sauer, Mon 8 Feb 2021, 11:46, archived)

can you fix a broken heart?

(

tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 8 Feb 2021, 12:02, archived)

Oh

(

Two Hats 🎩🎩, Mon 8 Feb 2021, 12:02, archived)

Except a broken heart, apparently 💔

(

Two Hats 🎩🎩, Mon 8 Feb 2021, 12:02, archived)

i reckon i could given enough practice

(

Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Mon 8 Feb 2021, 12:21, archived)

Reckon you could have a stab at reversing a Hartmann's procedure?

(

Two Hats 🎩🎩, Mon 8 Feb 2021, 12:25, archived)

yes

(

Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Mon 8 Feb 2021, 12:40, archived)

Perfect
I'll stick the kettle on
(

Two Hats 🎩🎩, Mon 8 Feb 2021, 12:41, archived)

i'm surprised you can get your arm through the spout

(

Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Mon 8 Feb 2021, 12:49, archived)

Haha, you card

(

Two Hats 🎩🎩, Mon 8 Feb 2021, 13:03, archived)

I'm the greatest lover in the world
I was born just to love you, young girls
I'm the greatest lover ever seen
Hey, try me and see what I mean
I'm the first, the last, the best and the most
The women love me from coast to coast
(

tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 8 Feb 2021, 11:54, archived)

can confirm

(

Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Mon 8 Feb 2021, 11:57, archived)

Woah
Wait, which coasts?
(

Two Hats 🎩🎩, Mon 8 Feb 2021, 12:29, archived)

From New York City, out to L.A.
The women think about me both night and day
From Canada to Mexico
I'm the one the women love the most
(

tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 8 Feb 2021, 12:38, archived)

Well this is food for thought

(

Two Hats 🎩🎩, Mon 8 Feb 2021, 12:41, archived)

Hang about, how young

(dribble, Mon 8 Feb 2021, 13:19, archived)

These days, if you allude to impropriety with young girls, you get defended until death by a bloated corporate juggernaut that then spends the next decade conspicuously wringing its hands with calculated remorse

(dribble, Mon 8 Feb 2021, 13:24, archived)

And thrown in jail

(dribble, Mon 8 Feb 2021, 13:25, archived)

Humility.

(

brb Monkhouse Stampede, Mon 8 Feb 2021, 13:37, archived)

morning

(

Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Mon 8 Feb 2021, 8:11, archived)

o hai

(

garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Mon 8 Feb 2021, 8:14, archived)

nice weekend?

(

Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Mon 8 Feb 2021, 8:24, archived)

Tolerable
I'm trying to learn to play the baseline on this:
www.youtube.com/watch?v=le0BLAEO93g

It'll take me many, many months....
(

garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Mon 8 Feb 2021, 8:42, archived)

come on m8, you can spell 'bassline'

(

Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Mon 8 Feb 2021, 8:44, archived)

I'm not having any of that strikey-g nonsense any more
thank you very much
(

garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Mon 8 Feb 2021, 8:59, archived)

funkeh

(

Turing's Artificial Hand Sig Sauer, Mon 8 Feb 2021, 8:57, archived)

b v
(dribble, Mon 8 Feb 2021, 9:17, archived)

lol got him anyway
NONE CAN ESCAPE THE STRIKEY-G
(

Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Mon 8 Feb 2021, 9:21, archived)

I was gonna buy up vaseline.org
and fill it with photos of broken vases and a big old 0989 £1/minute helpine number but I never got round to it. think the domain's still available...
(

garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Mon 8 Feb 2021, 9:31, archived)

but have you got the classic bass player move down as well as your mate in that video?
youtu.be/YPhO5g39vpg?t=43
(

tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 8 Feb 2021, 9:22, archived)

Fucking bitter out , and bloody treacherous under foot , stay home , dont fall over, protect the nhs

(Nicki Minaj, Mon 8 Feb 2021, 8:22, archived)

freezing up here in the loft, I'm not going anywhere

(

Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Mon 8 Feb 2021, 8:24, archived)

I was hoping the trains would be fuckex , but no , so I'm at work

(Nicki Minaj, Mon 8 Feb 2021, 8:26, archived)

unlucky
the worst is when they become fucked during your working day leaving you buggered at home time. That would be infinitely worse at the moment given that you can't just sit in a pub waiting for them to sort it out
(

Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Mon 8 Feb 2021, 8:29, archived)

This is, of course, how the school's decided whether or not to open (in normal times obviously)
They don't give a shit how you get to school, they just don't want to be stuck with your kids if you can't pick them up
(

Two Hats 🎩🎩, Mon 8 Feb 2021, 8:31, archived)

I remember getting sent home from secondary school due to frozen/burst pipes or some shit
My mother didn't believe me and phoned the school to check. Nice to know that your own mother thinks you'd be so fucking thick as to bunk off school and go straight home where she's waiting for you.
(

Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Mon 8 Feb 2021, 8:42, archived)

My mum sent me to school after the big storm in the 80s because didn't believe schools would close because of a bit of wind, there were fucking trees down outside

(Nicki Minaj, Mon 8 Feb 2021, 8:47, archived)

At the risk of going all Peter Kay
Sitting around a radio, waiting to hear if my school wasn't opening is a strong memory from my past
(

Two Hats 🎩🎩, Mon 8 Feb 2021, 8:49, archived)

80s mums were a lot tougher than they are today
My kid gets to stay at home for rhe most trivial nonsense, mind you her mum suffers from hypochondria by proxy
(

Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Mon 8 Feb 2021, 9:19, archived)

It's a running joke in our family about how harsh my mum was
My brother complained of chest pains once. She told him to crack on, it was probably just trapped wind. Turned out to be a collapsed lung.
(

Two Hats 🎩🎩, Mon 8 Feb 2021, 9:37, archived)

Sore neck = broken collar bone , still going school

(Nicki Minaj, Mon 8 Feb 2021, 9:40, archived)

^

(

Two Hats 🎩🎩, Mon 8 Feb 2021, 9:42, archived)

Haha

(

Two Hats 🎩🎩, Mon 8 Feb 2021, 8:48, archived)

Looks like it's about to snow up in this piziece
Also, good morning
(

Two Hats 🎩🎩, Mon 8 Feb 2021, 8:23, archived)

light snizzow predicted here today also
Nut roast update: it was great, I recommend it. Having goose fat roasties and meat gravy stopped the whole experience from feeling parsimonious. Will defo do it again. 7-8/10
(

Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Mon 8 Feb 2021, 8:27, archived)

Ah nice one
I'll give that a whirl. We had nut roast too, but I made a big one a couple of weeks ago, and the leftovers froze really well. #LifeHacks #LifeSpacks
(

Two Hats 🎩🎩, Mon 8 Feb 2021, 8:29, archived)

morning
good bit of rugby yesterday
(

Turing's Artificial Hand Sig Sauer, Mon 8 Feb 2021, 8:37, archived)

there's no such thing m8
it must have been a dream
(

Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Mon 8 Feb 2021, 8:38, archived)

well, in that case,
it was a nice dream
(

Turing's Artificial Hand Sig Sauer, Mon 8 Feb 2021, 8:44, archived)

good stuff m8

(

Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Mon 8 Feb 2021, 8:45, archived)

What go around come around

(Garold Huzzah!, Mon 8 Feb 2021, 8:42, archived)

never a truer word said, young master Dog.

(

Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Mon 8 Feb 2021, 8:43, archived)

Contrary to popular belief, a truer word has been said when Jonesy uttered the phrase ‘they don’t like it up ‘em’ #mondayfacts

(Garold Huzzah!, Mon 8 Feb 2021, 8:47, archived)

wow

(

Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Mon 8 Feb 2021, 9:20, archived)

morning

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Mon 8 Feb 2021, 8:45, archived)

morning
snowed in?
(

Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Mon 8 Feb 2021, 8:45, archived)

nah, not in the slightest.
a light dusting of snow here and that's it
(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Mon 8 Feb 2021, 9:05, archived)

A licky boom boom down

(dribble, Mon 8 Feb 2021, 8:58, archived)

no u

(

Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Mon 8 Feb 2021, 9:20, archived)

yes m8

(

tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 8 Feb 2021, 9:19, archived)

Get in

(

Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Mon 8 Feb 2021, 9:20, archived)

yo yo yo

(

broadsword now that's fresh, Mon 8 Feb 2021, 9:22, archived)

sup nig

(

Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Mon 8 Feb 2021, 10:46, archived)

Cheers

(

Cheers Cheers, Mon 8 Feb 2021, 9:28, archived)

Cheers

(

Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Mon 8 Feb 2021, 10:46, archived)

Hello
Bit of snow overnight, nothing too serious. Been out salting the paths in college and now I'm going to have a nice coffee.
(

Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Mon 8 Feb 2021, 9:36, archived)

I'm salting my paths as I type this

(

Two Hats 🎩🎩, Mon 8 Feb 2021, 9:38, archived)

morning
does anyone know if the b3tamonkey script still works? just tried faffing with it and i think it's borked
(

Spunky McPunk not dead yet, Mon 8 Feb 2021, 10:06, archived)

Gaz bivvyboi

(

Two Hats 🎩🎩, Mon 8 Feb 2021, 10:10, archived)

whoah hey i'm too old for all this youth lingo

(

Spunky McPunk not dead yet, Mon 8 Feb 2021, 11:32, archived)

me, I know

(

Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Mon 8 Feb 2021, 10:46, archived)

Sunday? BUM-GAY, more like.
Alright.
(

Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Sun 7 Feb 2021, 9:58, archived)

alright
bit of snow last night

might start a GoFundMe to get brb a book on racism from WorldOfBooks
(

Turing's Artificial Hand Sig Sauer, Sun 7 Feb 2021, 10:10, archived)

mild snow here, t3h w00

(

Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Sun 7 Feb 2021, 10:15, archived)

Jeepers creepers!

(

Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Sun 7 Feb 2021, 10:27, archived)

My phone has reminded me that it's been two years since we had snow
With a picture where my eldest had written 'POO' in snow on the driveway, in protest against having to go to school
(

Two Hats 🎩🎩, Sun 7 Feb 2021, 10:31, archived)

ibb.co/qsvngYN
(

Two Hats 🎩🎩, Sun 7 Feb 2021, 10:36, archived)

heh

(

Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Sun 7 Feb 2021, 11:39, archived)

Alright mate, calm down, wasn't that funny

(

Two Hats 🎩🎩, Sun 7 Feb 2021, 13:19, archived)

~~more like~~ Happy Days
(

Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Sun 7 Feb 2021, 10:20, archived)

Ayyyy
(encourages teenagers to follow me into a public toilet)
(

Two Hats 🎩🎩, Sun 7 Feb 2021, 10:27, archived)

Alright, Poo Shats.

(

Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Sun 7 Feb 2021, 10:28, archived)

T
How you living?
(

Two Hats 🎩🎩, Sun 7 Feb 2021, 10:30, archived)

Oh, trundling on. The wee Master Tea is 15 months now, and a proper little handful.
Love him to bits. Sick of lockdown. You?
(

Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Sun 7 Feb 2021, 10:34, archived)

Goodness me
Time flies, eh? Mine are 12 and 14. Blink of an eye, m8
(

Two Hats 🎩🎩, Sun 7 Feb 2021, 10:37, archived)

It's such hard work but I fucking love being a dad.

(

Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Sun 7 Feb 2021, 11:25, archived)

😁

(

Two Hats 🎩🎩, Sun 7 Feb 2021, 11:33, archived)

Whaddup Queef0rz.

(

Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Sun 7 Feb 2021, 10:29, archived)

yo man

(

Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Sun 7 Feb 2021, 11:12, archived)

Yeah

(Nicki Minaj, Sun 7 Feb 2021, 11:23, archived)

How's the fishing? Is that allowed at the moment?

(

Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Sun 7 Feb 2021, 11:30, archived)

It is allowed as its deemed exercise, but no over night stays

(Nicki Minaj, Sun 7 Feb 2021, 11:38, archived)

Alright
Peaceful day and a nice dinner to come
(

Smash Monkey 2 Anyone know a good therapist in South Africa?, Sun 7 Feb 2021, 11:30, archived)

to of
(

Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Sun 7 Feb 2021, 12:12, archived)

Heh

(

Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Sun 7 Feb 2021, 12:14, archived)

Same
chicken in the oven smells good.
(

Boris Johnson's Press Secretary, Sun 7 Feb 2021, 15:51, archived)

~~smells good.~~ please talk free
(dribble, Sun 7 Feb 2021, 17:06, archived)

~~smells good.~~ what am I gonna do
(

broadsword now that's fresh, Sun 7 Feb 2021, 17:10, archived)

~~smells good.~~ turtle power
(dribble, Sun 7 Feb 2021, 18:10, archived)

~~smells good~~ I know, I know it's serious
(Agent Pr1ck llǝɯs ǝɥʇ sʇI ˙ǝɔɐld sᴉɥʇ ǝʇɐɥ l, Sun 7 Feb 2021, 20:45, archived)

~~smells good.~~ cos this land's the place I love
(

broadsword now that's fresh, Sun 7 Feb 2021, 21:26, archived)

~~smells good.~~ I took all of his money, and it was a pretty penny
(dribble, Sun 7 Feb 2021, 22:04, archived)

~~smells good.~~ baby, in your long black limousine
(

broadsword now that's fresh, Sun 7 Feb 2021, 22:21, archived)

~~smells good~~ with diamonds
(Agent Pr1ck llǝɯs ǝɥʇ sʇI ˙ǝɔɐld sᴉɥʇ ǝʇɐɥ l, Sun 7 Feb 2021, 23:00, archived)

~~smells good.~~ I know you gotta see me, read 'em and weep, the dead man's hand again
(dribble, Sun 7 Feb 2021, 23:12, archived)

~~smells good~~ Now you do what they told ya
(Agent Pr1ck llǝɯs ǝɥʇ sʇI ˙ǝɔɐld sᴉɥʇ ǝʇɐɥ l, Sun 7 Feb 2021, 23:17, archived)

~~smells good~~ everybody's feeling warm and bright
(Agent Pr1ck llǝɯs ǝɥʇ sʇI ˙ǝɔɐld sᴉɥʇ ǝʇɐɥ l, Sun 7 Feb 2021, 23:24, archived)

I hope that someone gets my
I hope that someone gets my
I hope that someone gets my +

~~smells good~~ yeah
(Agent Pr1ck llǝɯs ǝɥʇ sʇI ˙ǝɔɐld sᴉɥʇ ǝʇɐɥ l, Mon 8 Feb 2021, 0:03, archived)

~~smells good~~ damn your love, damn your lies
(Agent Pr1ck llǝɯs ǝɥʇ sʇI ˙ǝɔɐld sᴉɥʇ ǝʇɐɥ l, Mon 8 Feb 2021, 0:30, archived)

~~smells good~~ 'cause this land's the place I love
(The Porcupine From Purgatory we of all lost both have them, Mon 8 Feb 2021, 6:36, archived)

~~smells good~~ but I just can't get no looove
(

Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Mon 8 Feb 2021, 8:12, archived)

Dum dee dum, delightful

(dribble, Sun 7 Feb 2021, 13:27, archived)

hiyas

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Sun 7 Feb 2021, 14:20, archived)

Lots of snow here.
I thought I'd better inform you all.
(

brb Monkhouse Stampede, Sun 7 Feb 2021, 14:27, archived)

Look, it's just not true that brb is a boring, dreary, joy vacuum cunt, ok????

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Sat 6 Feb 2021, 19:20, archived)

He's off saving the rainforest or recycling his sandals or some shit

(dribble, Sat 6 Feb 2021, 19:50, archived)

he's a dreary self-important dullwit

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Sat 6 Feb 2021, 19:50, archived)

dribble, you mean

(dribble, Sat 6 Feb 2021, 20:01, archived)

Who do you think the sausage is on the masked singer?

(

Boris Johnson's Press Secretary, Sat 6 Feb 2021, 20:17, archived)

That is me m8

(

Cheers Cheers, Sat 6 Feb 2021, 20:32, archived)

what kind of a sentence is that tho I mean really

(dribble, Sat 6 Feb 2021, 20:52, archived)

I never said he was

(

Smash Monkey 2 Anyone know a good therapist in South Africa?, Sat 6 Feb 2021, 20:28, archived)

oh ok

(

broadsword now that's fresh, Sat 6 Feb 2021, 20:59, archived)

I had to log out to read it.
Christ almighty.
(

Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Sat 6 Feb 2021, 21:12, archived)

QUARTER TO TWO

(

Two Hats 🎩🎩, Sat 6 Feb 2021, 13:45, archived)

Time for lunch

(

Smash Monkey 2 Anyone know a good therapist in South Africa?, Sat 6 Feb 2021, 13:55, archived)

Bit late
I had lunch nearly two hours ago
(

Two Hats 🎩🎩, Sat 6 Feb 2021, 14:10, archived)

It takes me a long time to eat anything
So I tend to leave long gaps between meals
(

Smash Monkey 2 Anyone know a good therapist in South Africa?, Sat 6 Feb 2021, 14:38, archived)

I'm not sure that this makes sense
but ok
(

Two Hats 🎩🎩, Sat 6 Feb 2021, 17:10, archived)

i have a restricted diet
as i'm missing 2/3rds of my stomach and about 6 feet of intestines.i very seldom take less than an hour to eat even a small meal and am usually not hungry for about another 6 hours, so my meal schedule is not what most people would call normal. i can't just eat sooner, i would be physically sick and might well end up in hospital.
even the chocolate truffles i had this morning, i only had 4, because i can't handle that much sugar without my body going into shock
(

Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Sat 6 Feb 2021, 18:28, archived)

Little and often, or healthy grazing
I think it's what people are supposed to do anyway
(dribble, Sat 6 Feb 2021, 18:30, archived)

Dentists hate this!

(dribble, Sat 6 Feb 2021, 18:31, archived)

that would be a good idea
but i can't eat a lot of foods i used to eat, so i'm not getting the nutrients and vitamins i need. i'll be on supplements for life and, even just taking those first thing in the morning can bloat me so badly that i can't eat a thing until the evening
(

Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Sat 6 Feb 2021, 18:38, archived)

well let's hope that missing offal turns up.
good luck smashy!
(ozof, Sat 6 Feb 2021, 20:31, archived)

PARDON?

(

Cheers Cheers, Sat 6 Feb 2021, 13:58, archived)

Just telling the time, jeez

(

Two Hats 🎩🎩, Sat 6 Feb 2021, 14:10, archived)

Cheerz

(

Cheers Cheers, Sat 6 Feb 2021, 14:12, archived)

I've just got in, time for a beer and a joint. My new shovel cutlery arrived, very good quality, look great, fork is a bit small tho

(Nicki Minaj, Sat 6 Feb 2021, 14:06, archived)

how small

(

Cheers Cheers, Sat 6 Feb 2021, 14:09, archived)

Not much bigger than a tea spoon , yet the spade and shovel are full size

(Nicki Minaj, Sat 6 Feb 2021, 14:12, archived)

I didn't know shovel cutlery was a thing
Everyday is a new learning opportunity
(

Two Hats 🎩🎩, Sat 6 Feb 2021, 14:11, archived)

ibb.co/2Z8dS7Z
(Nicki Minaj, Sat 6 Feb 2021, 14:25, archived)

I've been trying to buy a bluray player on the ebay
every time I bid on this one, within 2 minutes I'm outbid, then within another 2 minutes I get a message to let me know that the last bid was retracted and I'm winning again. 3 times so far. Something's not right.
(

brb Monkhouse Stampede, Sat 6 Feb 2021, 14:07, archived)

Physical media, how quaint

(Runcorn shitty limits, Sat 6 Feb 2021, 14:11, archived)

Oh I use non-physical media too,
but I do not believe it has any monetary value, and I don't believe you truly own anything intangible. If I'm going to buy a film (or album or whatever) it's got to be a physical object.
(

brb Monkhouse Stampede, Sat 6 Feb 2021, 14:25, archived)

Alright Jeremy Corbyn

(Runcorn shitty limits, Sat 6 Feb 2021, 14:27, archived)

And that's why I have several hundred DVD's

(

Smash Monkey 2 Anyone know a good therapist in South Africa?, Sat 6 Feb 2021, 14:40, archived)

DV ST
(

Cheers Cheers, Sat 6 Feb 2021, 14:56, archived)

D JC
(dribble, Sat 6 Feb 2021, 15:06, archived)

This attitude is why we have landfills

(dribble, Sat 6 Feb 2021, 14:48, archived)

No. I'm not one for chucking stuff away when it could be repaired, sold, donated or recycled.

(

brb Monkhouse Stampede, Sat 6 Feb 2021, 18:08, archived)

MusicMagpie has killed the second hand media market, and charity shops just throw stuff away if it doesn't move quickly

(dribble, Sat 6 Feb 2021, 18:13, archived)

And the council here are incredibly picky about what goes in the plastics bin
they threaten to dump the entire cartload if there's even a hint of mixed materials or contamination anywhere, almost as if they're looking for a reason to not recycle any of it, of course there'll be at least one household somewhere on every round who hasn't rinsed out a tin properly
(dribble, Sat 6 Feb 2021, 18:28, archived)

Never heard of MusicMagpie before. I've seen the charity shop outchucking first hand:
Very little actually gets chucked away, at least in my experience. Clothes, shoes, bags, books, dvds, cds, records, bric-a-brac and toys all get 'ragged' (sold by the kilo to a company who ID and sell good stuff and recycle everything else).

The resellable books and media make their way to undercutting cunts like WorldOfBooks, for example. I cannot begin to describe how much I hate WorldOfBooks, but they are keeping books out of landfills.

Eventually your council will consist of saner people who understand that they live on a planet, and they will change their recycling ethos and employ better people.
(

brb Monkhouse Stampede, Sat 6 Feb 2021, 18:52, archived)

A 4k movie on SkyQ typically uses about 16gb of data
whereas a 4k disc uses around 80gb. The difference in picture quality is like chalk and cheese. Streaming is not a patch on having the disc.
(

Boris Johnson's Press Secretary, Sat 6 Feb 2021, 14:50, archived)

If you're obsessing over pixels then the story's shit

(dribble, Sat 6 Feb 2021, 14:51, archived)

No I'm not.
For example, Saving Private Ryan is a brilliant film but when you watch it on 4k disc it's like a completely different movie. It still has grain but it's like being there.
(

Boris Johnson's Press Secretary, Sat 6 Feb 2021, 14:54, archived)

that's nice

(ozof, Sat 6 Feb 2021, 22:50, archived)

What does it cost the Earth to stream tv and movies?
I imagine maintaining 'the cloud' is less energy efficient than producing and transporting DVDs. It probably produces more waste heat too, since it has to be on all the time, while I can just leave a DVD in a box.
(

brb Monkhouse Stampede, Sat 6 Feb 2021, 19:01, archived)

don't be silly
it's about 10 quid a month
(ozof, Sun 7 Feb 2021, 9:52, archived)

So about what your mum makes working full time sucking off tramps behind Lidl.

(

brb Monkhouse Stampede, Sun 7 Feb 2021, 14:34, archived)

oh
I've got a PS4, so
(

Two Hats 🎩🎩, Sat 6 Feb 2021, 14:11, archived)

I have a PS. Never felt the need to upgrade yet.

(

brb Monkhouse Stampede, Sun 7 Feb 2021, 14:36, archived)

That was me m8

(dribble, Sat 6 Feb 2021, 14:19, archived)

We’re two hours ahead of you lot

(Runcorn shitty limits, Sat 6 Feb 2021, 14:11, archived)

Depends where you are, but sure

(

Two Hats 🎩🎩, Sat 6 Feb 2021, 14:12, archived)

Any advice you can give from two hours into the future?

(

Two Hats 🎩🎩, Sat 6 Feb 2021, 14:12, archived)

Remember to put the clocks back two hours

(Runcorn shitty limits, Sat 6 Feb 2021, 14:14, archived)

👍

(

Two Hats 🎩🎩, Sat 6 Feb 2021, 17:10, archived)

How’s your vaccination programme going?

(

Cheers Cheers, Sat 6 Feb 2021, 14:30, archived)

I heard your country have an abundance of pricks

(Runcorn shitty limits, Sat 6 Feb 2021, 14:33, archived)

Can’t argue with that

(

Cheers Cheers, Sat 6 Feb 2021, 14:35, archived)

Big up the 8am posse

(Nicki Minaj, Sat 6 Feb 2021, 8:00, archived)

Beautiful day today!

(

Two Hats 🎩🎩, Sat 6 Feb 2021, 9:09, archived)

Clouded over in lahdahn now

(Nicki Minaj, Sat 6 Feb 2021, 10:36, archived)

~~today~~ by the Levellers is the best record ever made
(

Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Sun 7 Feb 2021, 12:18, archived)

shout out to the 9.23 massive

(

broadsword now that's fresh, Sat 6 Feb 2021, 9:23, archived)

11.28 possee
(Literally Hitler stop playing with my jewlirium, Sat 6 Feb 2021, 11:28, archived)

BRAP BRAP 10:01 KREW

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Sat 6 Feb 2021, 10:01, archived)

PALINDROMIC MASSIV

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Sat 6 Feb 2021, 10:01, archived)

Turtle power!

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Sat 6 Feb 2021, 11:22, archived)

I'm up. Calm down

(

Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Sat 6 Feb 2021, 10:34, archived)

You lazy git, I've already completed 2 floors of fcu service

(Nicki Minaj, Sat 6 Feb 2021, 10:35, archived)

i just got up but i'm usually up at half four so i think i'm allowed

(Literally Hitler stop playing with my jewlirium, Sat 6 Feb 2021, 10:58, archived)

Isn't that mainly hoovering?
(Ooooh_cuntroversials_sockpuppet Make O/T great again., Sat 6 Feb 2021, 12:46, archived)

Yeah

(Nicki Minaj, Sat 6 Feb 2021, 12:54, archived)

medium up the mid-morning posse

(

Turing's Artificial Hand Sig Sauer, Sat 6 Feb 2021, 10:40, archived)

Represent

Been for a run, got soaked and am now eating bacon and scrambled eggs

subscribe, blog etc
(

Cheers Cheers, Sat 6 Feb 2021, 11:12, archived)

so you're saying you went to the shop?

(Literally Hitler stop playing with my jewlirium, Sat 6 Feb 2021, 11:25, archived)

y

(

Cheers Cheers, Sat 6 Feb 2021, 12:05, archived)

Spent the morning with a good book
A box of chocolate truffles, a packet of bacon fries and a can of lilt
(

Smash Monkey 2 Anyone know a good therapist in South Africa?, Sat 6 Feb 2021, 11:27, archived)

i prefer quatro to lilt

(Literally Hitler stop playing with my jewlirium, Sat 6 Feb 2021, 11:28, archived)

^ insufferable food ponce

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Sat 6 Feb 2021, 12:23, archived)

I used to love that stuff
Can't get it any more
(

Smash Monkey 2 Anyone know a good therapist in South Africa?, Sat 6 Feb 2021, 12:33, archived)

All soft drinks taste the same

(

mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Sat 6 Feb 2021, 13:38, archived)

The cornerstones of any nutritious breakfast

(dribble, Sat 6 Feb 2021, 12:36, archived)

I thought so

(

Smash Monkey 2 Anyone know a good therapist in South Africa?, Sat 6 Feb 2021, 12:41, archived)

NJ CRU

(

mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Sat 6 Feb 2021, 13:37, archived)

Terrible bullying of US contingent :(

(

mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Sat 6 Feb 2021, 14:04, archived)

Late afternoon thread
I don't suppose anyone is doing anything of note this weekend. I'm going to get off my nut and play records tonight, tomorrow likely a writeoff as a result but we're going to have an Asian snacks fest at some point later in the day: gyozas, some little dim sum things, coconut panko prawns, that kind of shit.

Might teabag a toucan also.

In tribute to the lovely Doveston, who made a welcome return recently:

www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-55937157
(

Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Fri 5 Feb 2021, 16:26, archived)

2/7 tit-spanner

(

Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Fri 5 Feb 2021, 16:30, archived)

I will be working tomorrow carrying out a fan coil unit service across two floors with my team . Probably just go home then, get drunk and think of trannys

(Nicki Minaj, Fri 5 Feb 2021, 16:35, archived)

great new hobby you've picked up there
just think when all this is over you can whisk yourself off to Thailand and go nuts

literally
(

Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Fri 5 Feb 2021, 16:36, archived)

Will the thai trannys like me,? They seemed to in 2005, but the worlds changed

(Nicki Minaj, Fri 5 Feb 2021, 16:41, archived)

you can’t say tranny any more m8
The term is ‘ladyperson’
(

Cheers Cheers, Fri 5 Feb 2021, 16:43, archived)

As my brother pointed out to me they are a SHE, and to remember that when I'm sucking their cock

(Nicki Minaj, Fri 5 Feb 2021, 16:53, archived)

Wise words

(

Cheers Cheers, Fri 5 Feb 2021, 17:15, archived)

also
~~Probably just go home then, get drunk and think of trannys~~

- Jonty
(

Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Fri 5 Feb 2021, 16:37, archived)

Its certainly the vibe, my old man got his oxford jab today, bet he's gutted

(Nicki Minaj, Fri 5 Feb 2021, 16:44, archived)

Taking names, wasting fools
and maybe some scrabble

Edit: 7/7 what a result
(

Cheers Cheers, Fri 5 Feb 2021, 16:41, archived)

Love a bit of scrabs

(

Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Fri 5 Feb 2021, 17:16, archived)

s
(

Cheers Cheers, Fri 5 Feb 2021, 17:20, archived)

scrab? good work, monster munch!!!

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Fri 5 Feb 2021, 17:30, archived)

Gone but never remembered

(

Cheers Cheers, Fri 5 Feb 2021, 17:33, archived)

lemme at him, member

(dribble, Fri 5 Feb 2021, 17:49, archived)

doing beef green pepper later
after i get my hair cut

Edit:4/7
(

Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Fri 5 Feb 2021, 16:56, archived)

my favourite

Edit: how are you getting your haircut in lockdown?
(

Boris Johnson's Press Secretary, Fri 5 Feb 2021, 18:55, archived)

More lies

(dribble, Fri 5 Feb 2021, 19:09, archived)

And no peppers are green

(dribble, Fri 5 Feb 2021, 19:10, archived)

where do the obvious lies end???

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Fri 5 Feb 2021, 19:16, archived)

My niece is still living with me
And she's a hairdresser
(

Smash Monkey 2 Anyone know a good therapist in South Africa?, Fri 5 Feb 2021, 19:41, archived)

Friday is here, yiss
I got 4/7 on that quiz thing
(

Turing's Artificial Hand Sig Sauer, Fri 5 Feb 2021, 17:03, archived)

3
I really am not fucking feeling it today
(

garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Fri 5 Feb 2021, 17:59, archived)

why? out of lube?

(

Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Fri 5 Feb 2021, 18:03, archived)

If you ever run out of lube
You REALLY feel it. I’d categorise “going in dry” as advanced practitioner only.
(

garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Fri 5 Feb 2021, 18:31, archived)

as my old boss said once,
"dry, dry, make 'er cry"

he was a bit of a nutter
(

Turing's Artificial Hand Sig Sauer, Fri 5 Feb 2021, 18:59, archived)

Lover of the Russian quy

(

Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Fri 5 Feb 2021, 19:58, archived)

heh

(

Turing's Artificial Hand Sig Sauer, Fri 5 Feb 2021, 20:01, archived)

Isn't it just a case of relative diameters
you could have a slimline gentleman paired with a "well practiced" receiver, no danger of an interference fit there
(dribble, Fri 5 Feb 2021, 19:20, archived)

https://b3ta.com/talk/8292426
(

Turing's Artificial Hand Sig Sauer, Fri 5 Feb 2021, 20:36, archived)

Insert shaft D into hole A then tighten nuts, grease may help with the insertion.

(dribble, Fri 5 Feb 2021, 21:45, archived)

Weed arrived today and I got a 4 day weekend, YES I
Looks like a HD transfer of Fatal Flying Guillotines is on Prime at the minute.
(

Slippery Mick ‏, Fri 5 Feb 2021, 18:20, archived)

Oh man that is a fucking CLASSIC, top 5, no quezzles
I've just picked up a few grams of 'gelato' along with my shoe. Guy is a pro level stoner and he reckons it's 10/10
(

Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Fri 5 Feb 2021, 19:05, archived)

I'm on Stawdawg but will get some hash in for my next lot as a treat I reckon

(

Slippery Mick ‏, Fri 5 Feb 2021, 19:24, archived)

I've got some Red Leb and some Royal Ketama and I am rationing the the shit out of it

(

Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Fri 5 Feb 2021, 19:57, archived)

All my weed seems to be the same, but as I canning the fuck out of it, who knows

(Nicki Minaj, Fri 5 Feb 2021, 19:27, archived)

2/7 worthless breathwaste, and one of the two was a guess ffs

(

mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Fri 5 Feb 2021, 19:12, archived)

Yeah not my best ever 2day either m8

(

Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Fri 5 Feb 2021, 20:14, archived)

Just sharted out about two tablespoons of whole peas into the bog
Note to self: chew your food
(

Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Fri 5 Feb 2021, 20:35, archived)

I've been doing some really loud farts of late.
I wouldn't be surprised if the downstairs neighbour hears them in the dead of night.
(

Slippery Mick ‏, Fri 5 Feb 2021, 22:11, archived)

Can relate
o a
(

Two Hats 🎩🎩, Fri 5 Feb 2021, 23:32, archived)

whale peas

(dribble, Sat 6 Feb 2021, 0:05, archived)

I'm gonna spend the weekend on /board
/boarding the loft that is! Hahaha
(Agent Pr1ck llǝɯs ǝɥʇ sʇI ˙ǝɔɐld sᴉɥʇ ǝʇɐɥ l, Sat 6 Feb 2021, 1:47, archived)

We had nut'n'lentil loaf accompanied by stir-fried sprouts with bacon for dinner
and as lovely as it was I am emitting toxic quacks now.

What did you enjoy recently that turned out to be not as delightful after all?
(

garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Fri 5 Feb 2021, 13:58, archived)

But its only just past lunchtime, if you've had dinner already won't you get hungry again before bed?

(

Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Fri 5 Feb 2021, 13:59, archived)

just 4 u m8
youtu.be/FP8fw-4KCB4
(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Fri 5 Feb 2021, 14:14, archived)

Thanks friend.

(

Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Fri 5 Feb 2021, 14:16, archived)

I've been doing this recently, still having all the trimmings of the roast, with this replacing the meat
www.bbcgoodfood.com/recipes/nut-loaf

It's well good, but a bit of a faff to make

#FooOood
(

Two Hats 🎩🎩, Fri 5 Feb 2021, 14:01, archived)

going to try this one
www.goodto.com/recipes/mary-berry-s-nut-roast
(

Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Fri 5 Feb 2021, 14:05, archived)

Oh nice one
Looks a lot more straightforward to make too. I'll give that a try
(

Two Hats 🎩🎩, Fri 5 Feb 2021, 14:07, archived)

I'll let you know how I get on
might be revolting
(

Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Fri 5 Feb 2021, 14:26, archived)

Yeah, please do
As I say, that BBC good food one is really good, but it takes bloody ages
(

Two Hats 🎩🎩, Fri 5 Feb 2021, 14:32, archived)

She really turned her life around after murdering those kids

(Nicki Minaj, Fri 5 Feb 2021, 14:49, archived)

everyone deserves a second chance, m8

(

Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Fri 5 Feb 2021, 15:51, archived)

Maybe if they’ve killed some kids, but I don’t think a poorly baked cake should be forgiven.

(

mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Sat 6 Feb 2021, 13:41, archived)

My mid-afternoon dump

(

Cheers Cheers, Fri 5 Feb 2021, 14:01, archived)

b3ta.com/talk/8292189
(The Porcupine From Purgatory we of all lost both have them, Fri 5 Feb 2021, 14:06, archived)

I was going to suggest b3ta but it’s not like me to be predictable

Cheers
(

Cheers Cheers, Fri 5 Feb 2021, 14:33, archived)

12 hours of sleep last night
But damn, those pills give me fucked up dreams
(

Smash Monkey 2 Anyone know a good therapist in South Africa?, Fri 5 Feb 2021, 14:03, archived)

When I need help I take a Valium, zopiclone is fucking weird

(

garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Fri 5 Feb 2021, 14:57, archived)

i'm on mirtazipine
60mg of those buggers and i dreamed i had to fight a horse
(

Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Fri 5 Feb 2021, 16:55, archived)

Take 80mg, you’ll dream you’ve got a whip, it makes it easier.

(

mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Sat 6 Feb 2021, 13:42, archived)

I'm going to attempt a nut roast on Sunday, for a bit of variety
I fully expect to be parping like Fred Wesley come Sunday night
(

Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Fri 5 Feb 2021, 14:04, archived)

b3ta

(dribble, Fri 5 Feb 2021, 14:09, archived)

how small

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Fri 5 Feb 2021, 14:13, archived)

my tiny fucken penus, m8
My tiny. Fucken. Penus.
(

Two Hats 🎩🎩, Fri 5 Feb 2021, 14:38, archived)

I might go home.
I've done literally nothing since about 1
(

Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Fri 5 Feb 2021, 14:51, archived)

Do it
Three on a Friday? Who carea
(

Two Hats 🎩🎩, Fri 5 Feb 2021, 14:59, archived)

it's not as if anyone is going to miss the fat lazy prick

(

tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 5 Feb 2021, 15:08, archived)

Woah come on now

(

Two Hats 🎩🎩, Fri 5 Feb 2021, 17:33, archived)

"Wedding Cake."
It seems lovely and mellow at first, but 5 minutes later there's a rhino sat on you.
(

brb Monkhouse Stampede, Fri 5 Feb 2021, 14:41, archived)

Not sure how much, if any, of this isn't gay slang

(dribble, Fri 5 Feb 2021, 14:55, archived)

I recently enjoyed that Denzel Washington's character in his latest movie (The Little Things) is named 'Joe Deacon', but I was left not as delighted as Denzel refuses to belm at any point.
(ohidunno, Fri 5 Feb 2021, 14:52, archived)

Haha disabled people are well lol

(

Cheers Cheers, Fri 5 Feb 2021, 15:36, archived)

and the gays!
(ohidunno, Fri 5 Feb 2021, 21:06, archived)

edgy. very, very edgy.

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Fri 5 Feb 2021, 15:56, archived)

Sprouts? It's gonna be a real treat for someone under the duvet with you tonight.

(

Boris Johnson's Press Secretary, Fri 5 Feb 2021, 16:19, archived)

www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-africa-55945948
Even more endangered, now that the scientists probably crushed dozens underfoot before finding two specimens
(dribble, Fri 5 Feb 2021, 16:23, archived)

I didnt click but I will bet its the 12mm Madagascar lizard I just sent a link to my kids about

(Nicki Minaj, Fri 5 Feb 2021, 16:25, archived)

Yes
I like reptiles
(dribble, Fri 5 Feb 2021, 16:29, archived)

Which is coincidentally the name TH gave his pænus

(

Cheers Cheers, Fri 5 Feb 2021, 16:36, archived)

Can confirm

(

Two Hats 🎩🎩, Fri 5 Feb 2021, 17:33, archived)

just a headz up yo
Some bare ledge has finally put The Document 2 up on YouTube.
(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Fri 5 Feb 2021, 11:42, archived)

I have unmixed vinyl of that but have never listened to the mixed version of it, same for the first one
how about THAT?
(

Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Fri 5 Feb 2021, 11:44, archived)

it means that you should KYS

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Fri 5 Feb 2021, 11:46, archived)

on it

(

Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Fri 5 Feb 2021, 11:54, archived)

that Serge Gainsbourg track is great eh

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Fri 5 Feb 2021, 12:10, archived)

it really fucking is
this is another absolute ripper of his:

www.youtube.com/watch?v=MfBy6loGgx8

absolutely outstanding break on it
(

Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Fri 5 Feb 2021, 12:25, archived)

cheers

(

Two Hats 🎩🎩, Fri 5 Feb 2021, 11:48, archived)

cheerz

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Fri 5 Feb 2021, 11:48, archived)

oh shit, homes. Are we zedding up our words now?
Becauze I like it
(

Two Hats 🎩🎩, Fri 5 Feb 2021, 11:49, archived)

Yes.

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Fri 5 Feb 2021, 11:50, archived)

And just like that, it was over

(

Two Hats 🎩🎩, Fri 5 Feb 2021, 11:52, archived)

like weewee, in rain

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Fri 5 Feb 2021, 11:54, archived)

I do actually, yeah

(

Two Hats 🎩🎩, Fri 5 Feb 2021, 12:12, archived)

no it izn't, m8

(

Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Fri 5 Feb 2021, 11:55, archived)

YEAH
ITZ BACK!
(

Two Hats 🎩🎩, Fri 5 Feb 2021, 11:58, archived)

itz the fucken bizznizz

(

Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Fri 5 Feb 2021, 12:03, archived)

The dick, you meant

(dribble, Fri 5 Feb 2021, 12:33, archived)

Half an hour ago my UPS parcel was out for delivery, now there are unexpected Brexit-related delays so it will be rescheduled for another day.
Years ago everything would be the EU's fault, now not being in the EU is to blame.
(dribble, Fri 5 Feb 2021, 12:36, archived)

An even longer wait for my new speakers
THANKS, ~~OBAMA~~ FARAGE
(dribble, Fri 5 Feb 2021, 12:53, archived)

How do you like your Brexit now, eh?

(Runcorn shitty limits, Fri 5 Feb 2021, 13:17, archived)

Took back control of my passport's colour, though

(dribble, Fri 5 Feb 2021, 13:41, archived)

What's that then

(

Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Fri 5 Feb 2021, 13:27, archived)

have a listen on youtube m8

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Fri 5 Feb 2021, 13:40, archived)

This?
youtu.be/vwc44J9f6Fo
(

Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Fri 5 Feb 2021, 13:44, archived)

no m8

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Fri 5 Feb 2021, 13:44, archived)

Well. You could provide a link so I could see what you were on about
Or you can just carry on being obtuse
(

Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Fri 5 Feb 2021, 13:57, archived)

fuck off queef you low effort gipsy cunt

(Literally Hitler stop playing with my jewlirium, Fri 5 Feb 2021, 9:28, archived)

thank goodness you're not a raging fucking crybaby

(

tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 5 Feb 2021, 10:03, archived)

thank god you're not a tedious prick

(Literally Hitler stop playing with my jewlirium, Fri 5 Feb 2021, 10:06, archived)

This is getting out of hand

(

Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Fri 5 Feb 2021, 10:13, archived)

internet drama

(Literally Hitler stop playing with my jewlirium, Fri 5 Feb 2021, 10:18, archived)

~~nternet d~~ 'm wearing a b ma
(

broadsword now that's fresh, Fri 5 Feb 2021, 10:21, archived)

this is getting out of hand

(Literally Hitler stop playing with my jewlirium, Fri 5 Feb 2021, 10:23, archived)

morning

(

Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Fri 5 Feb 2021, 9:01, archived)

Morning
the "H" in HerrH doesn't stand for happy today.
(

garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Fri 5 Feb 2021, 9:03, archived)

good morning garold

(

Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Fri 5 Feb 2021, 9:07, archived)

Hi Boyce
Hi everyone
(

Two Hats 🎩🎩, Fri 5 Feb 2021, 9:05, archived)

alright mush
busy day ahead? I've nearly done all my vital work already, might finish early
(

Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Fri 5 Feb 2021, 9:08, archived)

Yeah, got some calls today, to which I'm actually expected to contribute
Imagine that. On a Friday
(

Two Hats 🎩🎩, Fri 5 Feb 2021, 9:49, archived)

Also, it's Mrs Hats 40th today, such as it is
Got her some good gifts, and the messages have been flooding in, so she's happy at least
(

Two Hats 🎩🎩, Fri 5 Feb 2021, 9:49, archived)

happy birthday mrs hats, you going to cook up a special din-dins?

(

Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Fri 5 Feb 2021, 9:51, archived)

Nah, takeaway innit

(

Two Hats 🎩🎩, Fri 5 Feb 2021, 9:58, archived)

Wish her a happy birthday from me

(

Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Fri 5 Feb 2021, 10:00, archived)

Will she know what that means?
Is it some sort of secret code?
(

Two Hats 🎩🎩, Fri 5 Feb 2021, 10:10, archived)

Yes

(

Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Fri 5 Feb 2021, 10:13, archived)

ah, getting deliveree like a G, nice one
Or maybe get Deliveroo like a jew
(

Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Fri 5 Feb 2021, 10:01, archived)

Yeah
We've found the one really good Chinese in Fareham, it seems
(

Two Hats 🎩🎩, Fri 5 Feb 2021, 10:10, archived)

good Chinese takeaways are few and far between in my experience
London's got some fantastic Chinese restaurants, and advent of Deliveroo/Uber Eats means you can get it at home but your bog standard 'high street' style takeaways seem to be, for the most part, a load of shit
(

Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Fri 5 Feb 2021, 10:27, archived)

There used to be a place here called Ken's Wingloon House,
And it was fantastic. And then Ken died or sold it or got deported and a different man ran it who I dont think was called Ken and now its shit. Please subscribe for more wolvercote village local facts.
(

Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Fri 5 Feb 2021, 10:33, archived)

this is the sort of stuff we need more of on here

(

Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Fri 5 Feb 2021, 10:34, archived)

When we lived in Hilsea
There were two Chinese takeaway's next to each other. One was quite a bit better than the other, but the other one was owned by one of Mrs Hats' financial advisor clients, so he would always give us free stuff. So really, the decision came down to how close to payday we were at the time
(

Two Hats 🎩🎩, Fri 5 Feb 2021, 10:45, archived)

good story

(

Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Fri 5 Feb 2021, 11:18, archived)

i no

(

Two Hats 🎩🎩, Fri 5 Feb 2021, 11:21, archived)

alright dribble

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Fri 5 Feb 2021, 9:08, archived)

$$

(

Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Fri 5 Feb 2021, 9:15, archived)

haha, I thought I had the 12 of Night of the Living Baseheads but it turns out that I don't!!!!

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Fri 5 Feb 2021, 9:20, archived)

wow, that's mad!!!

(

Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Fri 5 Feb 2021, 9:25, archived)

I know!!!!

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Fri 5 Feb 2021, 9:32, archived)

Haha I have no idea what this means haha

(

Two Hats 🎩🎩, Fri 5 Feb 2021, 10:11, archived)

it's paedo slang

(

Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Fri 5 Feb 2021, 10:28, archived)

oh no

(

Two Hats 🎩🎩, Fri 5 Feb 2021, 10:44, archived)

I'm afraid so m8

(

Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Fri 5 Feb 2021, 10:50, archived)

Sure is , lovely out

(Nicki Minaj, Fri 5 Feb 2021, 9:29, archived)

it really is, I'm off down the park in a bit, I think

(

Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Fri 5 Feb 2021, 9:31, archived)

Could be snowed in Sunday

(Nicki Minaj, Fri 5 Feb 2021, 9:34, archived)

best get out there whilst we can then eh

(

Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Fri 5 Feb 2021, 9:43, archived)

morning queef-o friday fuck yeah

(

broadsword now that's fresh, Fri 5 Feb 2021, 9:31, archived)

you're damn right it is
good toimes
(

Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Fri 5 Feb 2021, 9:32, archived)

my towns being tested for south african covid this weekend, think I might have it, woke up feeling pretty racist

(

broadsword now that's fresh, Fri 5 Feb 2021, 9:34, archived)

Oh no, the bou flu

(Nicki Minaj, Fri 5 Feb 2021, 9:41, archived)

lol

(

broadsword now that's fresh, Fri 5 Feb 2021, 9:46, archived)

get yourself round kwikfit and stock up on tyres, might come in handy

(

Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Fri 5 Feb 2021, 9:43, archived)

idgi

(

broadsword now that's fresh, Fri 5 Feb 2021, 9:49, archived)

git yarsilf rand kweekfeet and stuck up an tyres, might cam in hindi

(The Porcupine From Purgatory we of all lost both have them, Fri 5 Feb 2021, 9:51, archived)

en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Necklacing
(

Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Fri 5 Feb 2021, 9:51, archived)

ah nice, that's the weekend sorted

(

broadsword now that's fresh, Fri 5 Feb 2021, 9:57, archived)

He's pretty upset.
Poor lamb. How are you?
(

Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Fri 5 Feb 2021, 9:39, archived)

Such a shame, who knew that being a tedious knobend could have consequences?
I'm great ta, going to do a 1hr high intensity bike session to clear out the cobwebs and set me up for the weekend. How'd you go at the doc, guffs aside?
(

Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Fri 5 Feb 2021, 9:40, archived)

Dunno. lol
Got referred to the bone and muscle specialist. Probably is a void caused by the metalwork that means the muscle is sort of peeling away from the back of my false kneecap when I walk. Going for a scan and an ultrasound.
(

Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Fri 5 Feb 2021, 10:03, archived)

eww

(

Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Fri 5 Feb 2021, 10:35, archived)

Quite.

(

Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Fri 5 Feb 2021, 10:36, archived)

False Kneecap? Isn't that a mushroom?

(

Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Fri 5 Feb 2021, 12:13, archived)

Blimey, isn't he just
If it's this upsetting, why come here? It's not like it's good or anything
(

Two Hats 🎩🎩, Fri 5 Feb 2021, 10:13, archived)

I quite like it.
And I quite like you.
(

Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Fri 5 Feb 2021, 10:13, archived)

I like you too

(

Two Hats 🎩🎩, Fri 5 Feb 2021, 10:18, archived)

well isn't this nice

(

Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Fri 5 Feb 2021, 10:31, archived)

Can I shock you?
I quite like you, too
(

Two Hats 🎩🎩, Fri 5 Feb 2021, 10:46, archived)

there's a lot of love in the (chat) room right now
/ac
(

Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Fri 5 Feb 2021, 10:51, archived)

ok let's get Friday done and then smash it hard

(

tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 5 Feb 2021, 10:04, archived)

I've just got the OK for a 4:30 finish
happy days
(

Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Fri 5 Feb 2021, 10:07, archived)

3.30 here
happier days
(

tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 5 Feb 2021, 10:19, archived)

oh yeah, off to Elevenerife for yours hols, are you?

(

Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Fri 5 Feb 2021, 10:29, archived)

jealousy is such an ugly emotion

(

tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 5 Feb 2021, 10:51, archived)

not as ugly as your fucking face, m8

(

Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Fri 5 Feb 2021, 10:53, archived)

my mum says I'm handsome

(

tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 5 Feb 2021, 10:57, archived)

The patriarchy, you mean

(dribble, Fri 5 Feb 2021, 10:09, archived)

I sort of need to find a way to change it enough to improve things for my daughter, but still be able to continue enjoying all the adantages of being a white middle-aged man

(

tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 5 Feb 2021, 10:22, archived)

Just change it but grandfather in patriarchal rights for anyone who got comfortable already.

(

Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Fri 5 Feb 2021, 10:36, archived)

that works for me, approved

(

Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Fri 5 Feb 2021, 10:38, archived)

YEAH

(

Two Hats 🎩🎩, Fri 5 Feb 2021, 10:11, archived)

this is precisely the kind of go-getting, positive energy this site needs right now

(

tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 5 Feb 2021, 10:23, archived)

I mean, I can't so much, what with the hernia and all, but I'll try my best
I just wanted to set your expectations
(

Two Hats 🎩🎩, Fri 5 Feb 2021, 10:47, archived)

I might get some beer on the way home

(

Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Fri 5 Feb 2021, 10:13, archived)

I don't know why there isn't already beer in your house

(

tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 5 Feb 2021, 10:24, archived)

I drank it all, you silly billy.

(

Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Fri 5 Feb 2021, 10:33, archived)

get a load of this guy eh

(

Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Fri 5 Feb 2021, 10:34, archived)

Maybe he's not a beer drinker but a beer collector.
Doesn't understand the joy of getting fucking turbo on some Premium lager and then getting on the bloody shoe.
(

Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Fri 5 Feb 2021, 10:35, archived)

what a joker, can you imagine

(

Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Fri 5 Feb 2021, 10:37, archived)

I literally cannot

(

Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Fri 5 Feb 2021, 10:38, archived)

try to imagine *this*
*thrusts crotch at screen*
(

tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 5 Feb 2021, 10:51, archived)

:O

(

Two Hats 🎩🎩, Fri 5 Feb 2021, 11:21, archived)

I've been stockpiling since last March, I've forgotten what it means to run out of things

(

tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 5 Feb 2021, 10:49, archived)

Other than space, eh

(dribble, Fri 5 Feb 2021, 10:52, archived)

I'm working tomorrow tho

(Nicki Minaj, Fri 5 Feb 2021, 10:19, archived)

then you need to get friday done, smash it hard and then get saturday done too

(

tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 5 Feb 2021, 10:25, archived)

I shouldn't need to tell you, you're an old hand at this sort of thing

(

tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 5 Feb 2021, 10:26, archived)

not to mention a 'tranny magnet'

(

Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Fri 5 Feb 2021, 10:54, archived)

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