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» Messing with the Dark Side

Not really the dark side
...but funny things did happen on a school Religious Studies trip (...) in Walsingham, otherwise known rather self importantly as 'England's Nazareth', that at the time made my friend and i feel a bit anxious. The whole year was put up for three days in a local hostelry that is run by nuns for pilgrims (very odd place if you go: all the nuns we met were barking mad, two had glass eyes and they spent all day pootling around the grounds that are all grassy and spare and hillocked like Tellytubbyland).

Anyway, my friend and I are happily irreligious and may or may not have scoffed in a loving way at the place and it's holy connections.

Which may or may not have backfired since:

a) the crucifix that stood on a little plinth on the mantlepiece in our room kept falling over on its face without being touched

b) The radioator said 'SHIT SHIT' over and over until anyone else came into the room, whereupon it just started gurgling normally.

c) Each room was named with a different soubriquet for the Virgin Mary eg. Most Bountiful, Most Exalted etc. Ours was, rather bluntly, 'Mother of all Sinners'

d) Two crows sat outside our window throughout the whole trip until we were forced to chuck M&Ms at them.

(Thu 20th Apr 2006, 13:44, More)

» When animals attack...

the Godfather of all geese didn't so much attack me as sent all its minions scattering for my (plump pink six year old) form, while it just sat on its goosehaunches honking. i hope he's now providing ample stuffing for a duvet somewhere, the bastard.
(Wed 8th Jun 2005, 20:06, More)

» Have you ever paid for sex?

No. Nor have I sexed for pay.
And i think i may abhor the notion

(Thu 19th Jan 2006, 14:10, More)

» Have you ever paid for sex?

I agree with FPM
but the stories about getting someone blind (because they'd have to be) drunk and then having their wicked ways in all types of ways are sadder. That goes for all of you, boys and girls.
(Thu 19th Jan 2006, 15:28, More)

» School fights

I distinctly remember merrily holding a toddler's face down the school sandpit
in an act of stop-taking-the-piss-out-of-my-twin-sister vengeance.

I should add I was a toddler too at the time; this isn't just a hobby I have. And in fairness I think he may have pulled her pigtail.
(Sat 11th Mar 2006, 20:52, More)
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