b3ta.com user garidead
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» The Meaning Of Giff

to brazenly harvest the online posted witticisms of people into an article, book, publication, script or similar.
(Mon 30th Apr 2018, 15:15, More)

» Random Acts of Kindness

Back when gay dating mostly involved...
Either going to a bar/club (expensive and with a high miss rate), having lots of gay friends (meh) or going to a cruising ground (eek!) there was a brilliant way of doing the dating - the back pages of Gay Times, Boyz and Pink Paper! Boyz and Pink Paper could be gotten free in gay bars and stuff and for a couple of quid you could put an ad in the back and a couple of weeks later a brown envelope would come through your door with some scrawled perverted fantasies and photocopied photographs. Yay!

Well, I'd paid my thruppence and included some stamps with the cheque (yes, it all seems so quaint in these days of Gaydar, Grindr and Manhunt) but in the time between my posting off the order for some shag and the letters arriving I'd acquired myself a sex-mad headfuck of a boyfriend who was busy reducing me to a harrowed shell of a human being (I bumped into him last year in circumstances that have ensured that I've an annecdote for dinner parties forever, let's just say we were at Torture Garden and I didn't recognise him at first but after we'd worked out who we were I did utter the immortal lines "you did treat me like a complete cunt, you know? Don't worry - I've never been in such a disfunctional relationship again since and you seem much happier too"). Well, two letter arrived and I looked at them and not being a git I felt it only honourable to let them know I was not in the market any more.

Then I was gripped by the warm hands of inspiration...

I posted each letter to the other sender with a covering note along the lines of "if you both liked the ad, you may like each other..." and sent them off into the postal system, never to hear from either of them again.

I hope they shagged happily ever after!
(Fri 10th Feb 2012, 15:08, More)

» The Meaning Of Giff

The third photo on a rightmove or zoopla property page, the one where the murder probably took place
(Tue 1st May 2018, 12:02, More)

» The Meaning Of Giff

the useless additional force exerted on a remote control when the batteries are running out
(Mon 30th Apr 2018, 16:00, More)

» Heckles II

I was 17, final year at school
in the canteen in the FE college next to school because they allowed smoking, so place full of rougher kids than us, and some older types trying to catch up on an education. One very annoying kid nicknamed Head going on about his weekend, with everybody and anybody trying to get him off the subject of his boast about his hanging out with a band and he was reaching the highlight of the night "and I managed to get off with this totally fit 21 year old." I made eye contact with him and saw the look of hope in his face as I made to ask him a question which he hoped would be about who it was, or what she was like. "What was HIS name?" I asked loudly and with a straight face. The whole canteen burst into laughter. He went red and shut the fuck up.
(Sat 14th Jun 2014, 13:31, More)
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