NEWSLETTER: ISSUE 121: "YOU SAY POTATO, WE SAY POTOOTEE"
This Week:
* ANIM - I say potato
* WEEBL - On the fucking moon
* B3TA PARTY - next week
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___/ _ |/_ </ __/ __ | "We're saving the
__/____/____/\__/_/ |_| web... together"
B3ta email 121 - 06 Feb 2004
Read this issue in your browser:
http://b3ta.com/newsletter/issue121/
Subscribe: [email protected]
Unsub: [email protected]
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: B3TA PARTY
Next week. Will rock.
Listen up, spazzers. We're having a party next
Friday and you're invited. It's going to be
amazing. Best of all we've got a raffle in
which you can win all sorts of prizes. We've
also got a few t-shirts for sale. Huzzah.
http://www2.b3ta.com/party/valentine.gif
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: WHAT B3TA PEOPLE HAVE BEEN MAKING THIS WEEK
Small Faces, BBC, Dwarfs, Fridge, Veitch, Weebl
>> Lazy Sunday <<
Skipper is clearly a new talent to watch. He's
taken the Small Faces classic "Lazy Sunday"
and made an utterly charming video featuring
a strange potato character. He writes, "Hope it
brings you as much joy as it has me."
http://pommedeterre.ednetuk.com/
>> Brian for the Beeb <<
"My dad Brian", writes Monkeymanblue, "has
decided to put himself forward for the position
Director General of the BBC. Not only does he
promise to 'cut the crap' - he also plans to
'slash the shit', 'waste the wank', and 'beat the
bollocks'" Newspapers: looking for a different
angle on the Hutton Inquiry? Try this.
http://www.brian4thebeeb.com/
>> Fucking dwarf <<
CCC is a b3ta legend. He's the famous Monkey
Man of Tunbridge Wells. He's also a rather
talented songwriter who records under the
name Giovanni & Sebastian and caused us
to get an official complaint when we
played his song on b3ta radio. Wheatox has
made him a rather energetic flash video.
Watch and listen. This song is comic genius.
http://www.mrandmrswheatley.co.uk/isay.html
>> Fridge tip works! <<
Each newsletter we stick a tip at the bottom,
to share our knowledge and help make your
life a little bit easier. We love it when you
try them out and write it up for the web.
Thanks Trumpet.
http://www.kitallen.com/fridge
>> Rathergood on biscuits <<
Before Joel Veitch became the internet
superstar he is today he was Australia's
leading poet. Now? He's set some of his old
work to music. Oh, and he's robbed a bit
of Weebl's visual style too. Weebl says,
"Twunt. This means war." So look out for his
revenge. It could be epic - a clash of
the web titans kinda thing.
http://www.rathergood.com/biscuits/
>> Weebl & Bob: On the moon <<
Speaking of Weebl, he's off in Boston doing
some gay chat about web comics at MIT. Anyway,
he's left us with a new episode of his
eponymous cartoon. This one has rockets.
http://www.weebl.jolt.co.uk/moon.htm
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: B3TA RADIO
Slang Survey
This week we asked you about new language
that's been amusing or annoying you.
http://b3ta.com/questions/slangsurvey/
You can learn more about b3ta radio and how
to tune via your radio or the web here:
http://b3ta.com/features/b3taradio/
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: SITES IN BRIEF
Stuff we like that wasn't made by our mates.
>> Pipe-smoke-eye man <<
Pussy Shoot Ping-Pong Ball? Pussy smoke
cigarette? We've all been there. But check
this man-whore's web-advert for his services:
eyeball smoke pipe.
http://www.thephilipsphile.com/ripvid/v-eye-smoker...
>> Rainbow smut-fest <<
Finally, the long-rumoured tape of the UK kids'
show Rainbow, where the script writers
made every line a blatant sexual innuendo
has found its way onto the web. Warning:
16MB download but worth seeing.
http://www.wow.f2s.com/humour/rainbow.mpg
>> Modern estate-agent marketing <<
As if estate agents weren't bad enough already,
they've got hip to this viral marketing
malarkey and started writing copy designed
to make people pass it on and go "fuck me
- is this real?" Bunch of cunts.
http://www.ralphbending.com/sales_page.asp
>> I failed my exams <<
Ever sat in an exam and felt like writing
stupid answers to take the piss? This bloke
did. Read his paper. If b3ta ran universities
he'd get a first.
http://www.enzine.net/index.php
>> Animal Yawns <<
Poor little creatures, it gets tiring being
cute all day. Check this collection of animals
preparing to get some shut-eye.
http://www.animalyawns.com/
>> Don't spit, swallow <<
Men! Fed up with your ladies gobbling your
old man and spitting the gunk up your leg?
Forward them this link and let them see the
error of their ways. Warning: she'll dump you.
http://www.dontspitswallow.com/
>> Fox cock knocks Beeb shock <<
Still hungry for more Hutton links? This
Fox news coverage of the affair is frankly
mind boggling. Hooray for Rupert Murdoch.
http://blugg.com/stuff/foxs_view_of_the_bbc_player...
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: THINGS THAT MAKE YOU GO AAHH
When foxes and badgers make friends
Paul McCartney! Looking for a metaphor for
racial harmony to write a saccharine duet
about? Why not try this true story of a
poor orphan fox and badger who made friends
in the rain. Sweet.
http://www.hydestile.org.uk/PAGES/Badger%20&%2...
BTW: What's the cutest thing you've seen on
the web recently? Tell us at http://www.b3ta.com/mailus/
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: B3TA IMAGE CHALLENGE
Results from the Daily Mail World Challenge
Each week we run a competition to test your
creative skills. We set a challenge and you
open Photoshop and mess with our heads.
Last week we wanted an insight into Daily Mail
World, and you scared us silly:
http://b3ta.com/challenge/dailymailworld/
We asked b3ta boarder 'rogan' to judge the
entries - here are his 3 faves.
Rogan writes -
#1 "Daily Mail map of the World - I bet they'll
be giving these maps away in primary schools.
On the plus side, the people of Ireland will
enjoy their new tropical location. (monkeon)
http://b3ta.com/board/2706952
#2 "Euro Tunnel - Problem solved! But with no
immigrants to write about wouldn't the Mail go
out of business? - yay, another problem solved!
(Slim)
http://b3ta.com/board/2695585
#3 "Daily Mailopoly! - Just right for the challenge,
if the Daily Mail ran the world this is exactly
what it would be like..." (doctorwhen)
http://b3ta.com/board/2700954
>> This Week's Challenge <<
This week, the challenge dictator put on his
pop-svengali hat and gave us the suggestion,
"Disappointing Tribute Bands".
http://b3ta.com/challenge/tributebands/
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: WHAT HAPPENED NEXT?
Follow-ups on previous stories.
* B3TA IN THE TIMES - UK broadsheet has written
up a more-informed-than-usual article about
b3ta and its friends. Huzzah.
http://www.timesonline.co.uk/printFriendly/0,,1-80...
* RATHERGOOD SANDWICH AD - yay for Joel and
his ad millions. But please stop sending
us the link going, "Oh no! He's been ripped
off."
* HUTTON PIC - MissPrism made an image which
escaped from our board and into the wild.
Used by several newspapers, such as the
Sunday Express, who -surprise surprise- didn't
credit the artist.
http://b3ta.com/board/2688682
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: STAR IN NEXT WEEK'S ISSUE
Make something cool and tell us about it. If
you are in it then people will see your stuff.
Things we'd really like to see include
* VALENTINE STUFF - that doesn't make us vomit
* THINGS FOR OUR RAFFLE - [email protected]
is the lady you need to talk to. There will
be a linky credit fest in next week's issue.
* "BUMSEXUAL" USED IN A NEWSPAPER - are you
a sub-editor for a national? Slip it in and
send us a scan. Cheers.
Send contributions to http://www.b3ta.com/mailus/
BTW: If you've sent something in that hasn't
been featured then don't be put off - we look
at everything you send us.
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Subscribe: [email protected]
Unsubscribe: [email protected]
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THANKS:
This issue was edited by Rob Manuel with
David Stevenson.
Links sent in by Bovine, mooskleo,
Matthew Bowler, boomerang_robert, Whiffert,
Blugg & freshlegs
Top Tippery by Slocombe.
Additional linkage by Fraser Lewry.
Board research by Fnord.
Image challenge handled by Mike Trinder.
Proofing by the lady b4ta norks. (73645)
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TOP TIP:
Smearing peanut butter on pills makes it much
easier for dogs to eat their tablets.
