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*superposes your eigenstates*

(Paster of Muppets, Sat 11 Feb, 20:51, 16 replies)


(Joe Scaramanga, Fri 10 Feb, 11:00, 8 replies)
SATIRISTS! WHY ARE YOU STILL AT YOUR DESKS? CLEAR THEM, THEN LEAVE!

.
(mushybees, Fri 10 Feb, 10:20, 17 replies)
Thrush?

(Wildyles, Fri 10 Feb, 10:10, 14 replies)
Satirists! You may now retire! BOOM!

more of this sort of piss wizardry
(mushybees, Thu 9 Feb, 15:26, 14 replies)
'Ning all. Fluffy kitten threadrush, day 2.

(Snappyuk, Thu 9 Feb, 9:29, 9 replies)
Transformers vs the Pope

(shiro_kuma, Wed 8 Feb, 9:29, 17 replies)
scrappy dappy doo!

(shiro_kuma, Tue 7 Feb, 8:48, 23 replies)
:)

(E Dubya, Mon 6 Feb, 18:07, 25 replies)
one may have misunderstood.

wank
(mushybees, Mon 6 Feb, 13:43, 8 replies)
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Newsletter
B3ta issue 515, out now - featuring Dredd meets kids' TV, optical illusions to fuck your eyes & toys with embarrassing names. Read it. NOW.
Read newsletter 515
published by rob on 10th Feb at 3pm
Question of the Week
Random Acts of Kindness
Crackhouseceilidhband asks: Has anyone ever been nice to you, out of the blue, for no reason? Have you ever helped an old lady across the road, even if she didn't want to? Make me believe that the world is a better place than the media and experience suggest
Read all 135 stories (open)
asked by Scaryduck on 9th Feb at 1pm
Challenge
Make Cute Things Ugly
This week's challenge is to take the loveliest, cutest things you can find and make them hideously ugly. Easy.
See all 120 images (open)
set by Fraser on 8th Feb at 10pm
Have you had legal issues with your parodies because of copyright? - The government is considering a law change giving people like us a right to parody. I've been asked to attend an event to give evidence to civil servants to support this. I'd like to mention some examples from B3ta. So have YOU had anything shut down over copyright? Personal examples WITH pics would be fantastic. - well we went in and argued for the parody exemption. Here's hoping! Thanks for your help.
posted by rob on 6th Feb at 12pm
Newsletter
B3ta newsletter 514, out now - this week featuring your second lesson in beatboxing, how to stick GIFs on buses and a very cute frog. Huzzah.
Read newsletter 514
published by rob on 3rd Feb at 2pm
Question of the Week
Filth!
Enzyme says: Tell us your tales of grot, grime, dirt, detritus and mess
Read all 240 stories (closed)
asked by Scaryduck on 2nd Feb at 1pm
Challenge
Misunderstood Dialogue
This week's task is to take a famous line from a film, TV show, play or book, misunderstand it for comic effect, and show the result! Challenge suggested by The Hedgehog From Hell.
See all 289 images (closed)
set by Fraser on 1st Feb at 9pm
It's New Icons Day - Lego by Q4nobody.co.uk Optimus Prime by Emvee Cock by WormuIus Elephant by Peter RICK Get yours by bunging us a few quid to pay for the server.
posted by rob on 1st Feb at 1pm
Newsletter
B3ta newsletter 513, out now - this week featuring a wonderful cartoon about the differing cartoon laws on sex and violence, a Fleshlight iPad attachment heralding the apocalypse and a Lego ZX81. Tuck in b3tans.
Read newsletter 513
published by rob on 27th Jan at 1pm
Question of the Week
I should have been arrested
Faced with The Law when I and a bunch of equally idiotic mates set off a load of loud explosions down the local chalk pit, we blamed bigger boys who had run off. Tell us of the times when you got away with something naughty and slightly out of order.

Thanks to MatJ for the suggestion
Read all 144 stories (closed)
asked by Scaryduck on 26th Jan at 1pm
Challenge
Monkeys!
Everybody go ape, for it's a One Word Challenge: Monkeys! Suggested by Bourbon Fox.
See all 223 images (closed)
set by Fraser on 26th Jan at 12am
Newsletter
B3ta newsletter 512, out now - featuring Sagan's cosmic beauty rendered in meat, Cliff Richard dying inside & Hello as sung by Hollywood stars. Huzzah!
Read newsletter 512
published by rob on 20th Jan at 1pm
Challenge
Unusable Stock Photos
A list of unusable stock photos has been doing the rounds. But WE can use them. Right? Let's see your comedy creations, combining ONLY the images from that page. Extra kudos for removing the watermarks. Challenge suggested by Michael Ellis.
See all 252 images (closed)
set by Fraser on 18th Jan at 8pm
Question of the Week
What nonsense did you believe in as a kid?
Ever thought that you could get flushed down the loo? That girls wee out their bottoms? Or that bumming means two men rubbing their bums together? Tell us about your childhood misconceptions. Thanks to Joefish for the suggestion.
Read all 363 stories (closed)
asked by rob on 18th Jan at 3pm
Newsletter
B3ta newsletter 511, out now - featuring sociologists reviewing kids books, us wittering on about Foxconn and some attempts at jokes which we promise won't make you laugh. Unless you're laughing at us for being shit rather than than with us.
Read newsletter 511
published by rob on 13th Jan at 4pm
Question of the Week
Messing with people's heads
Theophilous Thunderwulf says: What have you done to fuck with people? Was it a long, carefully planned piece of psychological warfare, or do you favour quick, off-the-cuff comments that confuse the terminally gullible? Have you been dicked with, and only realised many years later? Are you being dicked right now? Tell us everything.
Read all 277 stories (closed)
asked by Scaryduck on 12th Jan at 11am
Challenge
The Right To Parody
A law supporting the right to parody is being considered by our nation's lawmakers, and the good people at righttoparody.co.uk are lobbying on your behalf. Get behind them by producing images to support the campaign.
See all 184 images (closed)
set by Fraser on 11th Jan at 4pm
Newsletter
B3ta newsletter 510, out now - this week featuring a very wonderful episode of Pingu, rather a large amount of QOTW and when cement mixers attack.
Read newsletter 510
published by rob on 6th Jan at 2pm
Question of the Week
Books
We love books. Tell us about your favourite books and authors, and why they are so good. And while you're at it - having dined out for years on the time I threw Dan Brown out of a train window - tell us who to avoid.
Read all 431 stories (closed)
asked by Scaryduck on 5th Jan at 1pm
Challenge
The Jubilee Stamp
A series of special stamps will be released throughout 2012 to mark the Queen's Diamond Jubilee. They'll be shite. Your job is to design some magnificent alternatives. Challenge suggested by The Twisted Omentum.
See all 129 images (closed)
set by Fraser on 5th Jan at 9am
Question of the Week
Heroes and villains of 2011
Who were your heroes or villains of the last year, and why? Who inspired you? Who had you kicking the cat across the room? They don't have to be well known, you might even want to laud the achievements of your binman. (Note that "Nick Clegg nuff said" answers puts you straight onto our naughty list)
Read all 144 stories (closed)
asked by Scaryduck on 29th Dec at 3pm
Challenge
More Hats
Time for a return visit to a b3ta classic: it's a one-word challenge, suggested by E Dubya and voted for by you. What is it? It's HATS. Go mental.
See all 155 images (closed)
set by Fraser on 28th Dec at 8pm
Question of the Week
Killed to DEATH
Speedevil asks: What have you killed? Accidentally, or on purpose. Concepts, species, a man in Reno, the career of a well-known entertainer, or anything else.
Read all 195 stories (closed)
asked by Scaryduck on 22nd Dec at 1pm
Newsletter
B3ta newsletter 509 out now - featuring clip art album covers, Christmas with James Bond and your weird OCD rituals. Dig in before the links get cold.
Read newsletter 509
published by rob on 16th Dec at 2pm
Question of the Week
Weird Rituals
David Cameron holds in his piss in order to concentrate. What weird borderline OCD shit do you do and why?
Read all 278 stories (closed)
asked by Scaryduck on 15th Dec at 2pm
Challenge
A James Bond Christmas
It's almost Christmas, and we're celebrating by asking you to fire up Photoshop and show us Christmas in the world of Bond... James Bond. Challenge suggested by Manic.
See all 202 images (closed)
set by Fraser on 15th Dec at 12am