we love the web
email us
Best of the Board


(drbroon, Wed 17 Dec, 14:37, 12 replies)
Special Edition

(monkeon, Tue 16 Dec, 19:45, 6 replies)


(i.charlius, Tue 16 Dec, 15:40, 8 replies)
Season's Wheezings!

Click for Bigger and Better Quality (4mb)


(A collaboration between Louis Hudson and myself.)
(Butters, Tue 16 Dec, 10:24, 33 replies)


Click for bigger

(atomic, Sun 14 Dec, 4:59, 39 replies)
Oh well

(Frogbeat, Wed 10 Dec, 0:26, 4 replies)
I'll be banana...

(Ninj, Tue 9 Dec, 14:44, 6 replies)
haha
a bit weird, but i've just finished and was about to post this...

(Fresh Water Mole, Mon 8 Dec, 22:11, 14 replies)
no, just another run-in with this bastard

(Q4nobody, Mon 8 Dec, 11:15, 4 replies)
.l.
Osborne Abacus
ning
(Hekim, Mon 8 Dec, 10:13, 9 replies)
XML feeds
Challenge
Piggy Christmas
This week we're combining our porcine cousins with all things festive in the B3ta piggy Christmas extravaganza. Shove all things porky in to Christmas cards, decorations, crackers and presents.
Merry Pigmas.
See all 4 images (open)
set by HappyToast on 17th Dec at 6pm
Challenge
Dangerous everything
This weeks challenge is to take something relatively safe and make it utterly lethal. Turn cotton wool in to Brillo pads and Fire extinguishers in to flamethrowers.
Suggested by ferret
See all 79 images (open)
set by HappyToast on 10th Dec at 10pm
Newsletter
It's that time and B3ta Newsletter 645 is that place! Or the pub of course. This newsletter is full of crows, music, old British actors and stories about crap hotels.
Read newsletter 645
published by rob on 5th Dec at 5pm
Car Park by Bird Box Studio
This deserves a repost because it won the British Comedy Award 2014 for best Internet short, and was done by a B3tan!

Whole Awards thing is on Channel 4 at 9pm tonight.

See all 20 popular links (9 made popular today)
linked to by Varmint on 17th Dec at 8pm
Question of the Week
Homemade Booze
SpanishFly writes, "I have a 'make your own absinthe' kit here, fucking terrified of making it...

"Tell us your stories of when you got so drunk on homemade mead you pissed in the cupboard.
Or tell us about the time you tried to buy wine stabiliser but got chased out of the friendly merchants shop because that compound is used to bash cocaine.
Tell us about the trials and tribulations of not being able to afford 4 cans of strongbow and couldn't brew your own poison so you got pissed on antifreeze and the next day pissed in your own mouth."
Thanks SpanishFly. MAKE THE ABSINTHE
Read all 88 stories (open)
asked by chthonic on 5th Dec at 9am
Challenge
Personalised Christmas Cards
It's fast approaching Christmas and public figures are sending out painfully posed personalised cards. So lets mess with them and come up with some new ones.
Politicians, royalty, public figures who do this thing are all fair game.
See all 66 images (open)
set by HappyToast on 4th Dec at 8am
Newsletter
B3ta newsletter 644 is here, so GET OVER IT. Also, it has classist news, a jazz kitten and George Osborne totally tripping his tits off.
Read newsletter 644
published by rob on 28th Nov at 4pm
Question of the Week
More Terrible Hotels
Actually paid to sleep somewhere that turned out to be less compfy, private or clean than the bench in the park outside? Tell us all about it.

Or perhaps you'd like to boast about getting upgraded to a sea-view suite next door to Stevie Wonder, like my colleague keeps doing? Over and over...
Read all 92 stories (closed)
asked by chthonic on 27th Nov at 9am
Challenge
Art Damage
This week we're dealing with damaged art, from Cecilia Giménez's botched restoration of Ecce Homo to the Venus de Milo. Either damage the art yourself or fix a broken bit.
See all 119 images (closed)
set by HappyToast on 27th Nov at 8am
Question of the Week
More nice things
Whoah. Where did those two weeks go? Normal service resumed

What is the nicest thing someone's done for you? Whether you thoroughly deserved it or it came out of the blue, tell us of heartwarming, selfless acts by others.

Failing that, what nice things have you done for other people, whether they liked it or not?
Read all 42 stories (closed)
asked by chthonic on 21st Nov at 5pm
Newsletter
Did you think we had forgotten? Did you think we had forgiven? Behold now the terrible vengeance of b3ta newsletter 643. There's good stuff in 'ere from penguins to dub step to Freemen of the Land. You will like.
Read newsletter 643
published by rob on 21st Nov at 4pm
Challenge
Smoking
Smoking is dropping out of fashion, so that probably means it's cool again.

Spend the week coughing up pictures that show how awesome this deadly habit is.
See all 137 images (closed)
set by HappyToast on 19th Nov at 10pm
Challenge
Climate Change
This week's challenge is all about messing with the weather. Give us Gene Kelly Singing in the snow and brighten up Rutger Hauer's Tears in the rain speech.
Challenge suggested by monkeon.
See all 50 images (closed)
set by HappyToast on 13th Nov at 8am
Challenge
Big Mistakes
This weeks image challenge is to depict the biggest mistakes you can imagine. Show us stupid ideas and foolish endeavours, bonus points for photo evidence of your own dimwitted decisions.
See all 36 images (closed)
set by HappyToast on 6th Nov at 7am
Question of the Week
Weddings Part II
Attending a wedding is like being handed a licence to act like a twat. Oh how I laughed when I sobered up and realised I'd nicked most of the plates and cutlery from the posh hotel lunch and those vague memories of stealthily exiting like a cat-burglar had in fact involved falling out of the hotel, knives and forks clattering onto the steps.

Tell us more of your wedding stories.
Read all 150 stories (closed)
asked by chthonic on 3rd Nov at 6pm
Challenge
Carry On....
This week we're going to apply the Carry on film treatment to as many other films as we can think of.
Think double entendres, awful jokes and bras flying off. ooh matron.
See all 111 images (closed)
set by HappyToast on 30th Oct at 7am
Newsletter
B3ta newsletter issue number six hundred and forty two... Would it be cool if we just started the numbers back again from zero? It's a bit scary. Anyway, quality stuff this week includes taking the piss out of Cameron Carpenter, taking the geotags out of your data and taking potshots at a hapless conductor in a game inexplicably based on the 1812 Overture.
Read newsletter 642
published by rob on 24th Oct at 7pm
Question of the Week
Control Freaks
Peej writes, "My mate Tony's dad used to weigh the breakfast cereal in the morning to make sure everybody got an equal amount and the pack provided the exact amount of servings advertised on the packet. I learned from this that the recommended serving size on a cereal packet isn't enough to feed a sparrow."

Sound familiar? Tell us more.
Read all 59 stories (closed)
asked by chthonic on 24th Oct at 1pm
Challenge
New Religious Products
This week we want to see everyday products and general shop tat transformed in to religious giftware. Fill the shelves of the local church shop with exciting new stock.
See all 66 images (closed)
set by HappyToast on 23rd Oct at 8am
Newsletter
B3ta Newsletter 641! A hat-trick of quality newsletter product! Douglas Adams, kittens, ukulele, music and the kitchen of the future!
Read newsletter 641
published by rob on 17th Oct at 6pm
Question of the Week
Silly Achievements
Happy Phantom writes, "Sometimes - by planning or happy accident - you achieve something with which you are quite pleased, but which makes little or no difference to the rest of the world.

"This morning, I woke up and spontaneously farted the opening three notes from The Frog Chorus."

What did YOU do?
Read all 121 stories (closed)
asked by chthonic on 16th Oct at 4pm
Challenge
Cakes in films
We're combining two of our favourite things again, cakes and films. Add Victoria Sponges, eclairs and Jaffa cakes to famous film scenes, adapt plots to be about baking and maybe re-enact some in your local Greggs.
See all 137 images (closed)
set by HappyToast on 16th Oct at 8am