NEWSLETTER: ISSUE 148: "THINGS TO DO WITH A CUCUMBER"
This Week:
* DOMAIN HIJACK - Pissing off the ad-men
* EXPERIMENT - Crap science
* LARD - Giant burgers for fat cunts
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B3ta email 148 - 20 Aug 2004
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: WHAT B3TA PEOPLE HAVE BEEN MAKING THIS WEEK
Science, Madonna, Mouse game & Domain hijack
>> Ad agency domain grab <<
Outsiders to the ad-industry probably haven't
heard of Mother, but you'll know their clients:
Coca-Cola, Unilever, Boots, and Orange - a
roll call of big British business. Ben
Wheatley noticed that they've failed to grab
the UK version of their domain name and has
stuck up a few images of the campaigns the
thinks they should be running. Will Mother
give him a job or get legal on his ass? Find
out next week.
http://www.motherlondon.co.uk/
>> Tourette's Madonna <<
This is excellent. Profane genius Bowers has
produced his version of home life with Mr and
Mrs Madonna. It made us laugh and, frankly, it
made us wince.
http://www.blogjam.com/bowers/madonna/
>> Crap science vids <<
Jinxx writes, "I've been making videos with
the help of Berk: Things we really wanted to
do when we were eight that our parents wouldn't
let us. But now we're grown up, we can be
reckless and destroy stuff!" Our favourite is
the entire cucumber down the waste disposal:
Oddly impressive. We look forward to seeing
more.
http://if.geekfreely.co.uk/
>> Invisible mouse game <<
It's a peculiar lost feeling when a page on the
web steals your mouse pointer. B3ta regular
One has based a game on it. It's both clever
and fiendishly difficult. How steady is
your hand?
http://madnesstemple.com/invisibility/
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: SITES IN BRIEF
Stuff we like that wasn't made by our mates.
>> Gay music underground <<
An archive of camp music from the era when
being gay was actually illegal. The tunes are
good in parts, but we enjoyed the screamingly
camp record covers more.
http://www.queermusicheritage.com/camp.html
>> What images are people looking at? <<
This site checks for references to images on
internet chat channels and serves up the latest
in a gallery for you. A fascinating snapshot of
the zeitgeist or a big stack of the usual web
funnies - depends on how you look at it.
http://ircimages.com/page-1
>> Enormous hamburger <<
What could be better than food? Gigantic food is
the answer. Denny's Pub in the US specialises in
an obscenely huge burger containing 6lbs of beef.
That's nearly a whole cow-arm.
http://www.anothersite.co.uk/forum/viewtopic.php
>> Red vs Blue <<
We really like shoot-em-up-based web slacker
comedy Red vs Blue. Here's their take on the
differences between doing things on the
internet and their real life equivalents.
http://www.bsd-unix.net/seitz/funny/RvB_NYC2.mov
>> Racist country and western <<
This just beggars belief. Comedian Sasha
Baron Cohen (as Borat) goes to a country
and western bar and sings a song with the
chorus 'Throw the Jew Down the Well'. It
goes down a treat. Amazing.
http://www.throwthejewdownthewell.com
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: THINGS THAT MAKE YOU GO AAHH
Lion bunnies
We love stuff the juxtaposes the cute with
the mighty and fearsome. Much like these little
rabbits with lion style manes.
http://home.att.net/~mimb/html/lionhead_rabbits.ht...
BTW: What's the cutest thing you've seen on
the web recently? Tell us.
http://www.b3ta.com/mailus/
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: B3TA IMAGE CHALLENGE
Results from the Alternative Funerals Challenge
Each week we run a competition to test your
creative skills. We set a challenge and you
open Photoshop and mess with our heads.
Last week we wanted you to show us how we
should be disposing of our dead.
http://b3ta.com/challenge/alternativefunerals/
We asked B3ta boarder 'masterconnor' to judge
the entries - here are his 3 faves.
Masterconnor writes -
#Gold "I love hearses - Anything which combines
DeAgostini's long running piece of
journalistic genius that is 'I love horses'
with an ironic internet image competition is
a winner in my eyes. An early entry and one
of the funniest. (Mr Gear)
http://www.b3ta.com/board/3591112
#Silver "Has Bean - People have thoughts, Beau
Bo d'Or's are better! One of several good
entries. (Beau Bo d'Or)
http://www.b3ta.com/board/3612051
#Bronze "Loop Olympics - They say you can sleep
when you are dead - I would rather do cool
things I was to scared to do when I was alive,
like in this sweet little animation.
(Fartmonger)
http://www.b3ta.com/board/3594087
>> This Week's Challenge <<
This week, our evil, dark overlord 'The
Challenge Dictator' gave us, "Illustrated Spam"
http://www.b3ta.com/challenge/illustratedspam/
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: WHAT HAPPENED NEXT?
Follow-ups on previous stories.
* MARLBORO VENI VIDI VICI - last week we asked
what had happened to the Latin slogan from
the fag packets. US reader Rendrago informs
us that a teen anti-smoking group made an
ad that poked fun at the motto, maybe
prompting the company to drop it from its US
packaging. Rendrago called the Marlboro
helpline to confirm this, but was told that
it had just been a random marketing decision.
* JINGLE UPDATE - Remember the Febo song last
week? Waynster writes -
"Febo is *the* fast food palace of Holland.
Its fried chicken is the greasiest I have
ever tasted, but at 3am when pissed off your
trolley, it is the greatest food known to man,
until the following morning. They even sell
hamburgers out of vending machines.
The Jingle goes:
When I come from work
and I am feeling a little peckish
I like to go to Febo
for a Febo snack
Croquette with beef
A cheese roll
A croquette to take away
Hmm does that smell good
Febo - The best and the tastiest"
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: FRIDAY GAME
Hangman
Sometimes the games that work the best are the
simplest. We couldn't stop playing this version
of Hangman where you can choose your own
category. 100 great rock bands was our favourite.
We haven't had so much fun since we tried
playing Mavis Beacon Teaches Typing with a stick
stuck to our head.
http://www.hangman.no/
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: STAR IN NEXT WEEK'S ISSUE
Make something cool and tell us about it. If
you are in it then people will see your stuff.
Things we'd really like to see include
* OLYMPIC SPORT MASH-UPS - the BBC is sending
a live web feed of its sports coverage.
Use this footage to demonstrate new and
amusing games.
* BRITISH 'SUPER SIZE ME' - instead of
only eating MaccyD's, try living for a month
on a diet of Findus Crispy Pancakes, Panda
Pops and Jammy dodgers.
* FAKE WEBSITES - we reckon the secret is
pandering to cultural stereotypes. I.e.
American believes we've got bad teeth and
know the Queen. What can you think up
which will end up in Snopes?
Send contributions via the mail form.
http://www.b3ta.com/mailus/
BTW: If you've sent something in that hasn't
been featured then don't be put off - we look
at everything you send us.
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THANKS:
This issue was written by Rob Manuel with
David Stevenson.
Stuff sent in by Bendy, micheal smyth, silver
fox100, sparkly rainbow & Robert Tinsley.
Top Tippery by Pesh.
Additional linkage by Fraser Lewry.
Board research by Fnord.
Image challenge handled by Mystery Bob.
Proofing by the thieving b4ta gypsies. (78021)
NO THANKS:
The pikey scum who cloned Rob's debit card
and bought 500 quid's worth of petrol and
sporting goods causing Rob to spend most
of the day arguing with the bank.
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TOP TIP:
If you're carrying a lot of shopping back
from the supermarket, avoid finger-based
nerve damage by hanging the bag's handles over
a disposable lighter in-between your middle
fingers. More surface area = less blueness.
