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NEWSLETTER: ISSUE 8: THE DEATH ISSUE

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This Week:

 - Top Ten Dead
 - Hank the Dwarf Obituary
 - Queen Mum Death Rumour

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  /  _ )|_ // /_/ _ | 
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B3ta Issue 8 - 07 Sept 2001 - THE DEATH ISSUE
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: Subscribe
  Send blank mail to b3ta-subscribe@yahoogroups.com 
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: B3TA IS NOT DEAD
  Despite the lawyers complaints.

Last week we put out "fake their death", a webpage
where you could type in a name of a person and
make a BBC news page announcing their death.

Within 3 days we were closed down by lawyers.

Under legal advice, we are not at liberty to speak
about who asked us to close the page, but it's safe
to say ALL LAWYERS ARE BASTARDS.

Anyway, during the weekend the page was active,
4,500 "isdead" pages were made. From that activity,
here are the ten people the Internet community
most wishes was dead.

: TOP TEN DEAD
  It's the peoples choice

@ 10
  Alex Chiu

  Internet celebrity, philosopher, and general nutter
  Alex Chiu runs a very strange site: it promises
  enteral enlightenment - but only if you place
  his banners ads on your website. Some believe
  that he's not so stupid, and is raking in the
  clickthru cash. 

Make up your own mind at http://www.alexchiu.com/


@ 9
  Derek Jeter

  New York Yankees player - Jeter's batting average
  has recently dropped. This might explain your
  hatred for him.


@ 8 
  Jay-Z

  Ex-drug dealer turned rapper Jay-Z owns his own
  clothing line, and makes shit loads of money out
  of treating the music business as - well - a business.
  You think he is ain't 4real. No wonder you killed
  him.

       -----------------------------------
       DEAD PEOPLE SERVER
       Up to the minute information on who
       is dead and who is not.
       http://dpsinfo.com/dps.html
       -----------------------------------

@ 7 
  Richard D James AKA The Aphex Twin

  Ambient musician, tank owner, and semi-recluse
  Richard is an obscure choice for Internet death.
  However, you are probably jealous of his foppish
  work-shy attitude and his living in a ex-bank.

@ 6
  Jason Kottke

  Net designer, blogger, and net celebrity Jason
  deserves to be killed: he's good looking,
  a fine writer, and designed the smallest
  screen font in the world. String him up.
  http://www.kottke.org/

       -----------------------------------
       PLAY THE ARE THEY DEAD OR NOT QUIZ
       With a bias to obscure U.S. sitcom
       actors.
       http://www.deadquiz.com/
       -----------------------------------


@ 5
  Carson Daly

  MTV presenter Carson Daly has had sex with
  Tara Reed, Christina Aguilera, and Carmen
  Electra. No wonder you want to kill him.
  We want to kill him too, and attempt to
  shag his grieving girlfriends at the
  funeral.

@ 4
  Jackie Chan
  47 year old Kung Fu master Jackie Chan 
  could beat the shit out of you. The
  world would be a safer place if he was
  dead.

  (BTW: Despite Jackie having a girls name
  he is known to Chinese audiences as
  Sing Lung which translates as "To Become like
  a Dragon", however his birth name
  was Chan Kong Sang meaning "born in Hong
  Kong.")

      -----------------------------------
      QUESTIONS ON BRAIN DEATH
      If my loved one is brain dead, what
	does that mean?
      http://www.pntb.org/faq-bdth.html
      -----------------------------------

@ 3
  Micheal Jackson

  Child-star turned child enthusiast has a 
  new single coming out. You hate him
  none-the-less.

      -----------------------------------
      ELVIS LIVES
      Despite being dead for 24 years,
      there is at least one sighting of the
      dead rock & roller per day.
http://www.deadelvis.com/sighting/seedead.html
      -----------------------------------


@ 2
  Jesus

  Might seem an unlikely choice, but the Jesus you
  were talking about is a web celebrity. You know,
  the guy who did the "Bathe with Jesus" thing. 

You want him dead. And rightly so.
http://www.jesus.com/

      -----------------------------------
      HEADLESS CHICKEN LIVES FOR 18 MONTHS
      "He seemed as happy as any other chicken."
      http://www.miketheheadlesschicken.org/
      -----------------------------------

@ 1
  Britney Spears

  They says "you can never be too rich or too
  slim" - and now "too dead". Bye-bye
  Britney, the net loves you, the net hates you,
  and is damn well obsessed with you.

Read about previously faked dead Britney story:
http://urbanlegends.miningco.com/library/blspears.htm

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: OBITUARY - HANK THE DWARF
"Too short to live, too young to die."

The 4-foot-1 Howard Stern sidekick, known for
being, drunk and angry, died Tuesday at the age of
39. The cause of death was not immediately disclosed.

In Tribute, Stern sang his own rendition of "Candle
in the Wind" during his radio show Wednesday. 

Alcoholism & depression is common in dwarfs, as
they often suffer from low self worth.

(FYI: 9 out of 10 dwarfs who work as actors
mention "skin" - i.e.. pornography - on their
CV. Apparently work can dry up out of pantomime
season.)

Hanks legal record
He was a very naughty little man.
http://www.thesmokinggun.com/dwarf/dwarf.shtml

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: IS THE QUEEN MUM DEAD?
  Rumours fly via email

On Tuesday rumours reached B3ta HQ from 4 separate
sources that the Queen Mum is dead. Apparently
"she recently died, but the Palace is suppressing
the story." Hmm.

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: OTHER B3TA NEWS FROM FRIENDS
  Swearing, Tai Chi, Watership Down

  Joel Veitch - of Frightened Boy fame -
  launches swearing keyboard:
http://www.gimpchimp.com/swf/turretaphone1.0a.swf

  JADA designer David Stevenson makes Tai Chi
  man dance:
http://www.btinternet.com/~david.st/chi/

  CartelCommunique follow-up Pat & Peggy video
  with a Watership Down inspired work:
http://www.cartelcommunique.co.uk/fivertobigwig.htm

BTW: Interviews with B3ta people are coming soon.

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: HELP B3TA OUT - SEND US KITTENS

  Next week we are running a B3TA cat special.
  Please send us: cat facts, pictures, and
  games at meow@b3ta.com

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Thanks this week: Drew - celebrity dwarf facts.

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