» Now, there was no need for that...

Anger management
Took friends from work for a spin in my pride and joy of the time, a brand new Clio 172. Pulled back into the car park at work, throught "I'll show 'em the brakes" and proceeded to park at speed. And miss the brake pedal. Wrapped £15k of 2 day old car round a 3 foot concrete post.

Angry? Moi?

I got out. I inspected damage. I Shouted "Bollocks" as loud as I could. I kicked the fence above the post in anger.

My foot went right through the fence, and the momentum of the kick picked me up and planted me firmly down on my arse. Thanks very much, shoddy fence makers.
(Thu 16th Jun 2005, 9:51, More)

» Now, there was no need for that...

Posting on behalf
of the poor fella on the motorbike on the BBC news today.

news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/england/hampshire/4102758.stm

Bag explodes on the motorway, containing £10,000 in £20 notes. Motorists stop to help, but only £500 gets back to the guy.

Then, and I quote, "The motorcycle broke down two junctions further down the motorway.".

D and indeed 'oh!
(Fri 17th Jun 2005, 13:17, More)

» Nightclubs

Head banging to Hip Hop
A fine evening of Red Stripe and Hip Hop was been undertaken by myself and a group of friends at the ever-so-lovely-but-all-a-bit-blury Blue Mountain in Bristol.

I remember a few details, but no many - the music was good, beer was cheap, and there were ladies. Lovely ladies.

Unfortunately, as I was about to descend from the upstairs to the downstairs, my concentration was more on the ladies than my feet. Now these stairs are the metal edged, beer soaked variety, and I'm quickly descending downwards in my very own re-enactment of Cool Runnings.

Eager to slow my descent, I apply my size 12s to the next step on my route - which, as Newton's laws will invariably dictate, propels me upwards at great speed, to the low, low roof. Smack.

Back down I go, returning to my Cool Runnings, this time 1/2 concious and bleeding profusely from my newly acquired head wound. Fortunately the stairs end, my journey is over - right next to some helpful bouncers. Who take one look and me, and help me on my way to the street...

I don't live in Bristol, or anywhere near, and all the people I do know are in the club. Luckily one of my friends happens to be passing, and seeing me getting thrown out, comes out to help. Which basically involves supporting & carrying me back to her place. I'm 6-4, she's 5-4 and 1/2 my weight, I'm still not sure how we made it back.

Still, she's married to me now, so must have made a good impression.
(Wed 8th Apr 2009, 16:58, More)

» Injured Siblings

Whilst playing with a pick axe
I managed to chop my brother's thumb off to the point it was left dangling, a small bit of skin and a tendon the only thing left keeping it attached to his hand. I was 8, he was 6. He thought it would be a good idea to hold a log while I thought it would be a good idea to "give it some welly".

I always remember the doctors asking my parents, "So why did you allow you children to play with a pick axe?".

He did get it sown back on successfully, so no damage done.
(Fri 19th Aug 2005, 12:26, More)