159 votes so far today on /links
The general message being, FEAR EVERYTHING
(, Thu 9 Feb 2012, 16:45, Reply)
Use a credit card to buy a large amount of certain items and you'll be put on a watch list.
(, Thu 9 Feb 2012, 16:58, Reply)
" Long unexplained absences for purposes of religious education, charity work or pilgrimage"
Er.. they've just explained the absence in the same very sentence. Sad really, as amusing as this nonsense phrase is, the intended meaning is very very clear. Devout muslim = terrorist.
(, Thu 9 Feb 2012, 16:58, Reply)
"What Should I Consider Suspicious?
Suspicious communications.... "
Suspicious stuff is suspicious. Thanks FBI. Maybe try using a dictionary? You can't just define something as itself. Chair (noun) It's a chair.
(, Thu 9 Feb 2012, 17:05, Reply)
It's surprising how much the authorities know.
(, Thu 9 Feb 2012, 17:08, Reply)
TATTOO SHOPS?.... Really FBI?
(, Thu 9 Feb 2012, 17:07, Reply)
Cunts.
(, Thu 9 Feb 2012, 16:26, Reply)
It must be a real pain in the arse having to drive along there and getting some twat posing for a photo in the middle of the crossing.
(, Thu 9 Feb 2012, 16:30, Reply)
but from the description I assume it's 2 women "scissoring" so will save it for later.
(, Thu 9 Feb 2012, 16:30, Reply)
of my fucking life. This crossing is on my route to work and I maintain I should be allowed to get out of the back of the cab and kick people to death for pissing about like this.
(, Thu 9 Feb 2012, 16:32, Reply)
I was hoping the gritter that just went past would skin them alive with ballistic pieces of salt.
It didn't.
(, Thu 9 Feb 2012, 16:41, Reply)
I just saw 2 people standing waiting at the crossing. A bin lorry came along, stopped. Then flashed his lights, as if to say "come on and cross, you cunts" - they paused, then walked away.
(, Thu 9 Feb 2012, 16:59, Reply)
Did you post that from your (insert latest most expensive soon to be obsolete gadget here)
I too pass through there most days..... But by way of the 139 bus and yes, we often urge the driver to have a mad moment.
Posted from my cr@p work PC which is also no good for watching said camara
(, Thu 9 Feb 2012, 16:50, Reply)
Nearly got killed and the picture was fucking shit. It's not even the original crossing.
(, Thu 9 Feb 2012, 16:34, Reply)
Can someone fit that camera with a high-powered laser?
(, Thu 9 Feb 2012, 16:50, Reply)
The genius that was/is The Staggering Stories of Ferdinand De Bargos is back on YouTube. It went missing ages ago (probably copyright issues or something). Get in amongst. Comedy gold. Skip in about 50 seconds if you don't want much intro. Dunno how to do that on this thing...
(, Thu 9 Feb 2012, 16:10, Reply)
and NO ONE knew what it was. In the last 20 years I've met maybe 2 other people that saw it. Very pleased with this.
(, Thu 9 Feb 2012, 16:17, Reply)
Oops, bad move to be watching it in the office. Just been asked why i'm crying with laughter. Not good form to say that a redubbed cowboy has just angrily refuted claims that he says "things like poo-pants, plops and willy". Oh no, it's too much.
(, Thu 9 Feb 2012, 16:33, Reply)
I have a bunch of episode from various torrent sites but it's still gappy. Superbly odd series and it still holds up very well.
(, Thu 9 Feb 2012, 16:19, Reply)
Loved Staggering Stories - I've got the Christmas episode on VHS taped off the telly (since digitised - I should stick it on youtube). To this day I quote the Radio Times' (of all places!) blurb for the festive episode in yuletide cards I send, where they claim that, 'As Ferdinand de Bargos himself always says':
'Tis the season to be merry
Sitting 'round the Christmas tree
Meditating on the tragic inevitability
Of man's mortality...
(, Thu 9 Feb 2012, 16:22, Reply)
I'd never seen this up until now, Im crying with laughter
bloody brilliant!
(, Thu 9 Feb 2012, 16:42, Reply)
Is there a 'philia' term for those who love bigfoots and wookies ?
(, Thu 9 Feb 2012, 15:55, Reply)
1000 man mod. Better than those zoidberg mudcrabs.
EDIT-Damn thing won't embed for some reason.
(, Thu 9 Feb 2012, 15:54, Reply)
only to pick up FFXIII - 2. Bang goes another few months.
(, Thu 9 Feb 2012, 15:59, Reply)
Heard mixed things about this new XIII-2. I didn't play the original. But might give it a go somewhere down the line.
(, Thu 9 Feb 2012, 16:04, Reply)
They can be quite hit and miss in terms of their gameplay, but they're invariably great visuals and bubblegum JRPG fun.
(, Thu 9 Feb 2012, 16:11, Reply)
Walking along... dum de dum.
Very pretty round here.....
Not many people about though.......
RANDOM ENCOUNTER BATTLE!!!!!
SWOOOOOOOSSH!
10 minute long FMV video
*get's arse handed over by a frickin house plant*
*dies*
(, Thu 9 Feb 2012, 16:19, Reply)
and increasingly in later versions you get the option of doing a runner from them. There's a knack to picking your fights to maximise your boonies-per-encounter potential, and not get bogged down in repetitive encounters with low-level crap, or, indeed, excessively powerful Agapanthuses.
Bottom line, people either love them or utterly fail to get them.
(, Thu 9 Feb 2012, 16:23, Reply)
I haven't played any since then.
(, Thu 9 Feb 2012, 16:31, Reply)
Find video on Youtube.
Click on 'Share' beneath video.
Click on 'Options'.
Tick 'Long Link', copy, then paste here to embed.
Also Skyrim looks incredible but I cannae be arsed with it.
(, Thu 9 Feb 2012, 16:11, Reply)
fantastic game though but be prepared to spend 5 hours just completing a single quest ;)
(, Thu 9 Feb 2012, 16:22, Reply)
Skyrim's sprawling landscapes look great to wander off in, the danger being that you forget about the real world.
:/
But we all need some form of escapism.
(, Thu 9 Feb 2012, 16:28, Reply)
Just a pity they don't have a Mac version of Skyrim. I have it on the Xbox though :D
(, Thu 9 Feb 2012, 16:20, Reply)
There's a winewrappered version of Skyrim on PBay for Mac.
I had it running at high res on a iMac i7, works pretty well, not as smoothly as in BootCamp though but thats stating the obvious!
(, Thu 9 Feb 2012, 16:28, Reply)
I've seen a couple of these Edison clips on here lately so thought I'd pop this up...
(, Thu 9 Feb 2012, 15:41, Reply)
(, Thu 9 Feb 2012, 16:04, Reply)
The guys on the /talk board like this kind of thing. You should post it on there for them.
(, Thu 9 Feb 2012, 15:52, Reply)
He'll be like all the others and just leave it here and run.
(, Thu 9 Feb 2012, 16:10, Reply)
Hmmmm.
I had said:
"I know
It's a shame - the guys on /talk will really miss out."
(, Thu 9 Feb 2012, 16:13, Reply)
hmmm somebody must have tried to do a quick ninja edit to the subject line....
(, Thu 9 Feb 2012, 16:20, Reply)
I would have gotten away with it if it weren't for those meddling kids
that you keep locked up in your basement.
(, Thu 9 Feb 2012, 16:23, Reply)
He's waited five days to post this link and boy does he want to share his art and intellect with his fans, us!
(, Thu 9 Feb 2012, 16:14, Reply)
One day you'll have to remove those rose tinted glasses.
(, Thu 9 Feb 2012, 16:21, Reply)
Thank you for posting a video that you made.
Would you like to chat about it?
It's generally the polite thing to do round here.
(, Thu 9 Feb 2012, 16:35, Reply)
It's not a problem, don't panic. Just make sure you post it on /talk as well though - they love that kind of thing on there.
www.b3ta.com/talk/write.php
(, Thu 9 Feb 2012, 16:56, Reply)
Ok just flick through the FAQ quickly so you don't upset some of the grouchier members
tinyurl.com/b3ta-FAQ
(, Thu 9 Feb 2012, 17:07, Reply)
Sorry, its from 2006, I had never seen it and GC says no. That doesnt mean its any more amusing, might just be the mood im in today that made me laugh at it.
(, Thu 9 Feb 2012, 14:24, Reply)
I also seem to remember that there was a techno remix of the Michael Winner car insurance advert from around the same time.
Edit: Yep, still knew the words exactly as they've been autotuned.
(, Thu 9 Feb 2012, 14:54, Reply)
my role was sourcing the video for the guy to cut up. He made it in the days before youtube and hunting down individual videos wasn't quite as straight forward as it would be today. I put a request on the torrent site UKNova and someone ripped it off TV for me.
(, Thu 9 Feb 2012, 14:57, Reply)
I've reposted a years old clip thats been newslettered, 5.6 million views....
I'm a fucking knob.
GC still said no though....... just sayin' ha ha
(, Thu 9 Feb 2012, 15:00, Reply)
Tingles like you wouldnt believe.
(, Thu 9 Feb 2012, 15:42, Reply)
Robin Hood may have been reincarnated as a tubby Korean.
(, Thu 9 Feb 2012, 13:44, Reply)
(, Thu 9 Feb 2012, 13:51, Reply)
This film splits me -
One side says wrong...
Other says.... Yay, a whole new generation of one liners
edit: can't do this embed malarky
(, Thu 9 Feb 2012, 13:41, Reply)
But this film does look fucking awesome though, quite glad to see the trailer again actually :-)
(, Thu 9 Feb 2012, 13:52, Reply)
TBH I was surprised
anyway, "you're welcome" ;)
(, Thu 9 Feb 2012, 14:08, Reply)
I was sent this link by someone who'd seen my blog and felt that the cuntish parking at the end would be relevant to my interests. FUCKING RIGHT! I think I wrote this film in my dreams. Definitely going to watch it.
(, Thu 9 Feb 2012, 15:21, Reply)
The thread below about Stephen Fry being a satnav reminded me of this. Robert Llewellyn as Kryten from Red Dwarf as a satnav. As far as I know, it never got further than this test. But it sounds awesome.
Listen to the end.
(, Thu 9 Feb 2012, 13:29, Reply)
www.youtube.com/watch?v=jg4sZZaf3Gg&feature=relmfu
(, Thu 9 Feb 2012, 14:45, Reply)
Gets caught and details get circulated.
All this is allegedly, of course!
GC says "No idea"
(, Thu 9 Feb 2012, 13:21, Reply)
I suppose it is a dilemma, not being able to update your twitter feed, youtube and blog, AND make a phone call to the cops simultaneously...
decision decisions...
(, Thu 9 Feb 2012, 13:25, Reply)
And he didn't manage to film it in Landscape. The stress is unbelievable!
(, Thu 9 Feb 2012, 13:26, Reply)
you can imagine them all getting their phones out during an attempted murder "I'm filming this for YouTube you'd better stop, you could get people calling you Gay! in the comment section I'm warning you!"
(, Thu 9 Feb 2012, 13:36, Reply)
fuck, your voice is annoying
billbillyoung 1 hour ago
(, Thu 9 Feb 2012, 13:28, Reply)
if the guy had tried to punch him he probably would of squeeled like a girl. EEEEEEEEEEE!!!!! Help me!
Although I don't agree with the cunt stealing the phone of course.
(, Thu 9 Feb 2012, 13:44, Reply)
the bloke doing the videoing is getting right on my nerves - if he's so offended why doesn't he do a citizen's arrest instead of expecting everybody else to do it for him. He sounds a lot like Adam Buxton I was half expecting it to be a comedy vid.
(, Thu 9 Feb 2012, 13:34, Reply)
Citizens arrest is such a flimsy thing that it's often advised you don't do it. How exactly do you arrest someone without touching them? Touch them and it's assault.
(, Thu 9 Feb 2012, 14:44, Reply)
The law is an ass thesedays where you can be assaulted, punched, kicked and the whole works and they get off with a caution, but you so much as dare put one finger on them and it's "assault" the only people above the law are the criminals ffs.
Bouncers do a lot of touching of people when they evict drunks from the nightclub.
(, Thu 9 Feb 2012, 15:19, Reply)
The police didn't seem to think anything wrong with a half nelson.
IIRC correctly you're allowed to use "reasonable force" if you believe a crime is about to happen or are sure a crime has been commited and there are no constables able to do the arresting.
Check the wiki page as there are some crimes this doesn't seem to apply too.
This whole "lay one finger on him and it's assault" is bollocks.
(, Thu 9 Feb 2012, 16:06, Reply)
(, Thu 9 Feb 2012, 13:38, Reply)
In that order. I wonder why the vid bloke didn't savagely attack him?!
(, Thu 9 Feb 2012, 13:41, Reply)
One great film, and we never saw him again.
(, Thu 9 Feb 2012, 13:54, Reply)
Surprisingly Good cockney accent.
(, Thu 9 Feb 2012, 14:03, Reply)
:D
(, Thu 9 Feb 2012, 15:26, Reply)
letters.standupmaths.com/?p=169
(, Thu 9 Feb 2012, 15:28, Reply)
I know everyone on the internet is 6'6" and built like Arnie, but if I really saw someone steal a phone I'd do a little more than shout at that person.
(, Thu 9 Feb 2012, 15:51, Reply)
Call me a pessamist, but a retrieving a stolen phone is not worth risking getting stabbed/beaten unconscious.
(, Thu 9 Feb 2012, 16:16, Reply)
when I'm sober, I just keep reading my book and maybe tut
(, Thu 9 Feb 2012, 16:26, Reply)
It's Murray from Flight of the Conchords and I claim my prize
(, Thu 9 Feb 2012, 16:44, Reply)
Only a matter of time before it has gun mounts and breaks down your door to shoot you in your sleep...
(, Thu 9 Feb 2012, 12:39, Reply)
If you can sleep with that racket going off, you bloody deserve to be shot by it.
(, Thu 9 Feb 2012, 12:58, Reply)
to make something louder, slower and more vulnerable than a caterpillar track.
The only reason why god didn't make animals with wheels is because we thought of it first.
(, Thu 9 Feb 2012, 13:04, Reply)
I'm sure they will realise the error of their stupid ways.
(, Thu 9 Feb 2012, 13:08, Reply)
Anyway i'm sure the Japanese would buy it.
(, Thu 9 Feb 2012, 13:12, Reply)
(, Thu 9 Feb 2012, 13:22, Reply)
(, Thu 9 Feb 2012, 13:22, Reply)
developed by Boston Dynamics www.youtube.com/watch?v=cNZPRsrwumQ
If you like that check out "Petman" www.youtube.com/watch?v=67CUudkjEG4
(, Thu 9 Feb 2012, 13:33, Reply)
Still skip to 30 seconds for the kick
www.youtube.com/watch?v=mXI4WWhPn-U&feature=related
(, Thu 9 Feb 2012, 13:37, Reply)
It scared the crap out of my son who was about nine or ten years old ;)
(, Thu 9 Feb 2012, 13:53, Reply)
I reckon the army'd commision it.
(, Thu 9 Feb 2012, 13:36, Reply)
www.youtube.com/watch?v=VXJZVZFRFJc
(, Thu 9 Feb 2012, 13:53, Reply)
I thought youd linked to the real bigdog being kicked over, rather than the two guys in black tights. The poop at the end is also impressive.
(, Thu 9 Feb 2012, 14:11, Reply)
One of those odd life moments for the reporter at the end. If it wasn't on camera I doubt his mates would believe it.
Nearly 1 million hits but glass cock, he say no!
(, Thu 9 Feb 2012, 12:37, Reply)
and am still utterly, utterly speechless. The guy actually dragged a car!!
(, Thu 9 Feb 2012, 12:49, Reply)
I have a 'thing' about ball yanking/hitting n general knacker abuse, mine are VERY against it, shall we say...
(, Thu 9 Feb 2012, 12:54, Reply)
Those smut-mongers at the BBC have defiled the airwaves using the unlikely weapon of classical station BBC Radio 3. Worse still they've used countertenor Alfred Deller to deliver this Elizabethan perversion in a voice that is just not right for a man to have.
Won't someone think of the children/Daily Mail readers/other idiots?..
GC sagt nein!
(, Thu 9 Feb 2012, 11:47, Reply)
"With a Penetrator 3000 and a gallon of lube" doesn't scan that well.
(, Thu 9 Feb 2012, 11:57, Reply)
French Mastiff/erogenator 3000
(, Thu 9 Feb 2012, 12:00, Reply)
but asked me to keep an eye out for anyone taking her name in vain.
*puts Lord on shitlist*
(, Thu 9 Feb 2012, 12:44, Reply)
Vein as opposed to Vain?
Didn't realise she had a drug named after her.
(, Thu 9 Feb 2012, 13:02, Reply)
; )
(, Thu 9 Feb 2012, 12:31, Reply)
I sat watching it at work giggling like a child.
Questions were asked.
Then my whole department sat watching it at work giggling like children.
There is talk of using it later in a presentation to the London office more widely.
(, Thu 9 Feb 2012, 14:12, Reply)
with more beer spillage.
www.youtube.com/watch?v=n5upIOND_HY
(, Thu 9 Feb 2012, 12:31, Reply)
...then watched a few on Youtube recently. Memories spoilt.
(, Thu 9 Feb 2012, 12:46, Reply)
I bought the boxset last weekend and I think the hit/miss ration is much better than a lot of sketch shows
(, Thu 9 Feb 2012, 13:37, Reply)
However, it wasn't as UTTERLY FANTASTIC as it was in my memory.
But then again, what ever is?
(, Thu 9 Feb 2012, 14:13, Reply)
I hope no one was in that!
(, Thu 9 Feb 2012, 11:41, Reply)
www.youtube.com/watch?v=7fgO3SJ1srk
(, Thu 9 Feb 2012, 11:53, Reply)
with a horny Bernard Manning & The Krankies would be mine.
(, Thu 9 Feb 2012, 12:13, Reply)
"for centuries dinosaurs have fascinated generations of mankind"
The word "generations" is redundant. But then Fry is bit of a windbag.
(, Thu 9 Feb 2012, 10:56, Reply)
Even if he does have a more than healthy obsession for apple products...
(, Thu 9 Feb 2012, 11:08, Reply)
he's a self confessed homosexual!
https://twitter.com/#!/JemRoberts/status/166899997504323584/photo/1
(, Thu 9 Feb 2012, 11:54, Reply)
he has a more than healthy obsession for apple products.
(, Thu 9 Feb 2012, 12:02, Reply)
A nancy-boy ? Good Lord!
Had a batman in Burma, used to spend his days off pursuing mahouts.
Dead now, of course.
(, Thu 9 Feb 2012, 17:02, Reply)
"May I suggest turning left in 300 yards Sir"
(, Thu 9 Feb 2012, 11:16, Reply)
You should send this suggestion off to TomTom and other SatNav makers immediately :D
If Sir Alex Guinness was still alive his voice would be great on a SatNav
"Use the M4, Luke. Use the M4!" or would that be in a Darth Vader voice "Join me on the M25, Luke. Together we could rule over this Empire!"
(, Thu 9 Feb 2012, 11:38, Reply)
throw in Brian Blessed as well and have all three together running in turns
(, Thu 9 Feb 2012, 11:41, Reply)
To the point that if kids asked him to say classic lines from it he got quite shirty. He viewed the films as no more than well made kids movies and didn't get why people were so obsessed with them.
Years later, Steven Spielberg proved him right....
(, Thu 9 Feb 2012, 11:55, Reply)
(, Thu 9 Feb 2012, 11:36, Reply)
That's a bit disappointing. But he would be good at pronouncing their names.
I liked John Hurt's narration on Planet Dinosaur.
(, Thu 9 Feb 2012, 13:14, Reply)
Last month I noticed "O2 UK PBB" coming up on our company credit card, small amounts so did not do anything, as we use O2, it came up again this month and I checked it out.
(, Thu 9 Feb 2012, 10:24, Reply)
You have to login to see the full story. Would you care to de-ris?
(, Thu 9 Feb 2012, 10:29, Reply)
ISSUE:I have been a victim of a fraudulent payment from my bank account to O2 UK PBB. It was by pure chance that I noticed it - after an upgrade at Christmas Carphone Warehouse moved my billing over to O2 directly. They were chasing a bill payment and I called to say you've already taken a payment to which they replied it wasn't us. I then googled 'O2 UK PBB' and realised that I had been the victim of fraud. I called my bank who cancelled my debit card and are going to look into the matter.
(, Thu 9 Feb 2012, 10:35, Reply)
no you don't... I've never been an O2 customer/member but I can see it.
(, Thu 9 Feb 2012, 10:47, Reply)
right after a link discussing the issue that requires logging in. I was curious about the further discussion as many "scam warnings" are hoaxes and actually cause more problems/wasted time that the purported scam would even if it were actually true.
(, Thu 9 Feb 2012, 12:07, Reply)
www.bl0g.co.uk/o2-uk-ltd-prepay-slough-mobile-phone-scam.html
[edit]
Long story shotways.
Credit card numbers with CCV can be generated with an algorithm same as those that create key codes for software etc.
You still need valid expiry date so you use a service like O2 topup that you can keep trying until the date is accepted. There's 60 possible dates.
Once you've got a date that's accepted then you've got a vaild number and expiry date to use for any service that doesn't query name or address.
Lesson to learn. Check all payments on your card, even the small ones.
(, Thu 9 Feb 2012, 10:41, Reply)
it appears DD can be set up online then the bank doesn't even appear to validate the name. So the account number is right & sort code, but the name is something arbitrary. They just process them. Mind bending.
No obvious way for me to stop this other than making sure I check my account for it. The bank is always fine about reimbursing me.
My theory is the bank has worked out it would cost them more money for decent validation than they lose in fraud.
(, Thu 9 Feb 2012, 10:55, Reply)
talking about how contracts work both ways, and where a bank is able to charge/fine you for making a mistake, contractually one is able to charge them for making a mistake also.
He (so he said) had successfully charged his bank for various mistakes with his wife's account over the years. All he did was write to them in the same manner they normally write to you, requesting the (reasonable) charge. "Reasonable" meaning "around the same amount they may charge you for writing to you", not necessarily /actually/ reasonable.
(If it rings any bells with anyone who can find a link, this chap had no bank account himself as he didn't believe in banks and cards, and paid for everything in cash...made for quite an interesting thread over at QOTW as he slowly won people over to his way of thinking)
(, Thu 9 Feb 2012, 12:13, Reply)
I wish I could find the thread I'm talking about, or some guidelines on how best to go about this in different situations, maybe even a website of "standard letters" you can use. Best I can find is this... www.b3ta.com/questions/banks/post484007
(, Thu 9 Feb 2012, 12:37, Reply)
DChurch really, really hates banks though, doesn't he!
(, Thu 9 Feb 2012, 13:47, Reply)
And it's still an issue
(, Thu 9 Feb 2012, 11:00, Reply)
"I got forwarded this by a friend. Normally I hate these
scaremongering e-mail warnings, but this one is for real.
Send this warning to everyone on your e-mail list.
Women: If a man comes to your front door and says he is
conducting a survey and asks you to show him your
tits, DO NOT show him your tits. This is a scam;
he only wants to see your tits.
I wish I'd got this email yesterday, I feel so stupid
and cheap."
(, Thu 9 Feb 2012, 11:01, Reply)
www.jokefile.co.uk/computer_jokes/irishvirus.html
(, Thu 9 Feb 2012, 11:12, Reply)
Which is an odd combination of sounds to make in the workplace.
(, Thu 9 Feb 2012, 11:28, Reply)
;-)
Only kidding, I loves ya I does!
(, Thu 9 Feb 2012, 11:38, Reply)
Got relatives on the bloody bayeux tapestry.
(On the winning side of course)
(, Thu 9 Feb 2012, 11:52, Reply)
Ok, ok, sorry, I won't start that again...
(, Thu 9 Feb 2012, 12:07, Reply)
(, Thu 9 Feb 2012, 12:15, Reply)
harping on about the potato famine and histories past cruelties and such, and hoping I would be suitably shamed or have a fight about it.
I would happily point out MY ancestors at the time were probably wiping the arses of the upper class chinless tosspots who did all the warring and killing back then and I was pretty fucking certain it had fuck all to do with me nor any of my relatives who all came from farming stock.
Now shut the fuck up and drink your pint, Paddy!
(, Thu 9 Feb 2012, 12:38, Reply)
I hope you were properly trained in clavicle breaking.
De ja vu?
(, Thu 9 Feb 2012, 13:10, Reply)
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