NEWSLETTER: HAPPY BIRTHTIME HELEN KELLER!
This Week:
* FIGHT - Which thing is best?
* ZOMBIE - Tip-top topical Suarez
* HECKLES - Your favourite comedy put-downs
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________ ____ __ ___
____/ _)|_ // /_/ _ | "We're shaving the yak...
___/ _ |/_ </ __/ __ | together"
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B3ta email 635 - 27 Jun 2014
Read this issue on your Google iBollock:
http://b3ta.com/newsletter/issue635
Sub : [email protected]
Snub : [email protected]
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: PACT COFFEE, DELIVERED TO YOUR DOOR (Sponsored)
Exclusive B3ta offer, delicious fresh coffee
Get your first 250g bag of Pact Coffee sent to
home or work for just £1 when you use code
'b3ta' here:
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: INTRODUCING 'FIGHT'
The new either/or game from UsVsTh3m
We're made a tool that allows anyone - including
you - to set up a quick either/or fight. They're
simple to do and a lot of fun to broadcast.
Instant lists = trollbait in a tin.
Here's three we made earlier:
* What is the ULTIMATE CAT GIF? The world says:
This one, with 4,228 total votes cast:
http://games.usvsth3m.com/fight/what-is-the-ultima...
* Which lady MP is the sexiest? The world says:
Luciana Berger MP, with 9,982 total votes cast.
(There's also a male version of this if you
click around)
http://games.usvsth3m.com/fight/which-lady-mp-is-t...
* 100 ZX Spectrum Games: But which one was BEST?
The world says: Bubble Bobble, with 572 total
votes cast.
http://games.usvsth3m.com/fight/100-zx-spectrum-ga...
* CREATE YOUR OWN FIGHTS USING OUR MAGIC ADMIN
TOOL:
http://games.usvsth3m.com/fight/new
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: WHAT B3TA PEOPLE HAVE BEEN MAKING THIS WEEK
The 'I made this' bit
>> "I took photos from 120,000 ft" <<
Ugi writes, "As a project with the kids, I built
a GPS radio tracker and we sent it on a weather
balloon 120,000 ft (38 km) into the
stratosphere. This is how I made the tracker
with links on the first page to the photos and
slide-show of the trip."
http://www.instructables.com/id/Make-a-High-Altitu...
>> Stunning realistical drawing <<
RompaStompa sighs, "Just simply stunning."
http://www.b3ta.com/links/Even_awesomer_stunning_r...
>> Zombie Suarez <<
Leehardcastle ponders, "Topical, why not?"
http://www.b3ta.com/links/Zombie_Suarez
>> Crowdsourced lyrics <<
Superpowerless barks, "I thought it would be a
good idea to ask for lyric contributions via
twitter and facebook... this is the result!"
http://www.b3ta.com/links/Crowd_Sourced_Lyrics
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: QUESTION OF THE WEEK
Heckles
We asked you for your best heckles:
http://b3ta.com/questions/hecklesagain/
* HIGHER - "Someone shouted a one-word heckle at
me: 'HIGHER!' I can't thank him enough, my best
moment on a stage ever." (mushybees)
http://youtu.be/SMbrCYBIAu8
* HBO - "I got seated in the front row at the
Comedy Store in Los Angeles last year and this
right cunt of a comedian was asking everyone
one by one what they did for a living and
subsequently taking the piss. He wasn't all
that funny, just mean spirited and was drawing
at strings to keep his act together.
"He made fun of my choice of clothing and then
asked me what I did for a living. I promptly
lied and told him that I am a comedy scout for
HBO looking for new talent and that I'd yet to
see anything worth writing home about. Audience
laughed, he stopped in his tracks, moved on to
someone else, got no crowd reaction and ended
his set early. Edit: Yeah that's right I said
'drawing at strings'" (smearballs)
* BLUE - "Stand up competition, largely crap try
outs such as myself, including the one on before
me. A portly chap, a younger Roy Chubby Brown
type, telling rude jokes about vaginas and the
like. Sporting a bright blue double-breasted
suit jacket, he ran on stage, confidently
grabbed the mic and pointed to the garment
shouting "I'm wearing this tonight ladies and
gentlemen, to give you all a clue what my act's
about." He waited expectantly for at least one
audience member to shout back, 'Is it blue?' One
bloke at the back of the pub called back loudly,
'Is it about jackets?'" (CharlieSomethingElse)
>> This Week: FALSE ECONOMIES <<
Sometimes the cheapest option is the best one.
Tell us about times you or others have been let
down by being a cheapskate:
http://b3ta.com/questions/falseeconomies/
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: VIDEO SCHMIDEO
Like a VHS that never runs out
* Breaking Bad styled as the Mr Men - pretty
natural choice although not, possibly, as
natural as Reservoir Dogs Mister Men.
http://www.b3ta.com/links/Breaking_Bad_Mr_Men
* Fireworks filmed with a drone. Very pretty,
and now you like drones instead of fearing your
imminent death.
http://www.b3ta.com/links/Fireworks_filmed_with_a_...
* Seagull picks the wrong place to sit and it's
safe to say that this seagull won't make that
mistake again.
http://www.b3ta.com/links/Seagull_picks_the_wrong_...
* Do you remember the girl who got hit over the
head with a shovel? BANG. BANG. BANG.
http://digg.com/video/girl-who-got-hit-in-the-head...
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: SITES IN BRIEF
Stuff we like that wasn't made by our mates
>> All the world's lightning strikes in real time <<
It's strangely satisfying listening to the
clicks. Looks like Texas is getting a battering
at the moment.
http://www.blitzortung.org/Webpages/index.php
>> Live map showing global hacking attacks <<
Looks pretty cool, everyone hates the USA by the
looks of it. Asif!
http://map.ipviking.com/#
>> Current tech made retro <<
Turns out all your iJunk would look a lot cooler
if it was designed by Atari in the 1970s.
http://www.behance.net/gallery/545221/ALT1977-WE-A...
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: B3TA IMAGE CHALLENGE
Results from 'Invent an animal'
Last week we asked you to play God and invent
some new creatures that would make David
Attenborough giggle.
Our favourites included:
* CLANGEROO: Hop away little pink thing!
(Rubber Dubya)
http://b3ta.com/board/11084531
* CATBOX: Feline evilution (dolphinwhisperer)
http://b3ta.com/board/11084059
* CATBEAR: So cuddly it hurts (Ninj)
http://b3ta.com/board/11084753
All these images, and your favourites can be
found here:
http://b3ta.com/challenge/inventanimals/
>> New challenge: The Bigger Picture <<
This weeks challenge is expand familiar artwork
beyond its frame. Show us what the original
artist cropped out. Suggested by cinquante neuf.
http://b3ta.com/challenge/biggerpicture/
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Hi: [email protected]
Bye: [email protected]
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THANKS:
This issue was written by Rob Manuel with David
Stevenson. Stuff sent in by RompaStompa,
penrose, Beh3moth, Turquoise Hexagon Sun,
RompaStompa, The Togaboy & :remixed. Image
challenge by Fraser Lewry. Mike Trinder is
QOTW bloke.
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: AND FINALLY! VOTE ON THE BEST NUMBER!
The voting patterns in 'which number' are
fascinating. You LOVE variations on 69, regular
numbers & hate 4.
http://games.usvsth3m.com/fight/numbers-1-to-1000-...
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: PACT COFFEE, DELIVERED TO YOUR DOOR (Sponsored)
Exclusive B3ta offer, delicious fresh coffee
LOOK. We're repeating the ad again. Notice it.
Buy some coffee ok? Would it really kill you to
buy some coffee?
Get your first 250g bag of Pact Coffee sent to
home or work for just £1 when you use code
'b3ta' here:
http://bit.ly/1xbIF7P
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TOP TIP:
Can't afford expensive vet bills? Dress your cat
as a child and take it to your GP instead! (2
Can Chunder)
