NEWSLETTER: "WE BOUGHT IT TO HELP WITH YOUR GRANDAD'S HOMEWORK"
"We bought it to help with your Grandad's homework"
This Week:
* FAWLTY - meets DelBoy
* SPECTRUM TEARDOWN - like porn but with tech
* WHALE POO - because why not?
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________ ____ __ ___
____/ _)|_ // /_/ _ | "We're saving the web
___/ _ |/_ </ __/ __ | by pressing CRTL S"
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B3ta email 651 - 30 Jan 2015
Read this issue to a dog - might be fun:
http://b3ta.com/newsletter/issue651
Hi : [email protected]
Bye : [email protected]
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: SPONSORED LINK
Seriously, buy a Chromecast
Before we had a Chromecast, YouTube was a place
for 30-second lols and the odd pop video. Now
it's where we're watching most of our TV.
Chromecast is the missing link between your TV,
YouTube and your Smartphone. Seriously, we
haven't turned on Netflix in AGES.
http://www.amazon.co.uk/exec/obidos/ASIN/B00I4WQ61...
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: WHAT B3TA PEOPLE HAVE BEEN MAKING THIS WEEK
>> Start-up software architecture generator <<
"Here's a bit of silliness I've been working on
recently," begins Fraser S. "Need inspiration
for your growth-hacked startup's distributed
Big-Data Web-Scale Cloud Platform SaaS App
architecture?"
http://tectur.io/
>> The Nag's Towers <<
The two funniest ever scenes from a BBC comedy
mashed into one seamless narative, or something
like that. "It's really a shameless copy of
Fresh Water Mole's image comp thing," confesses
sithemong.
http://www.b3ta.com/links/The_Nags_Towers
>> Smearballs new showreel <<
"Here's a pile of my work from the past few
years," writes legendary b3ta alumnus
smearballs. "Realized I probably made too many
videos of me dancing like a turd with a
celebrity head on. Love that Conan said
'Smearballs' on the air though."
http://www.b3ta.com/links/New_showreel
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: UVT
Stuff from that other site we also do
* We've redesigned Monopoly to make it more
accurate. Without inherited wealth you lose.
http://usvsth3m.com/post/austerity-the-board-game
* The new all-female Ghostbusters will be
great, but I hope they dump the capitalist
propaganda
http://usvsth3m.com/post/nationalise-ghostbusters-...
* What's your favourite ridiculous movie
tagline? Here are some of the silliest we've
ever seen
http://usvsth3m.com/post/whats-your-favourite-ridi...
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: HEY HEY 16K ANNIVERSARY BONANZA
Ten years ago this March we made a vid for
@MJHibbett's Hey Hey 16k. Ten years! Blimey.
Anyway, now the great man's doing shows to
celebrate!
http://www.mjhibbett.co.uk/heyhey16k/index.php
http://www2.b3ta.com/heyhey16k/
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: SITES IN BRIEF
Stuff we like that wasn't made by our mates
* THE TECH THAT LIVES ON after you've popped
your clogs:
https://medium.com/message/deathhacks-b767903b7c15
* MASTERS OF MOVIE MATTE PAINTING (pre-computer
era) - Star Wars etc etc, but some of these are
AMAZING and took months of real old-school
skill.
http://sploid.gizmodo.com/the-amazing-matte-painti...
* SCROLL SLOW HAVE FUN - Leaves you wanting
more, but that's mostly cause it's good.
http://www.scrollslowhavefun.com/
* NO MORE PORTRAIT FORMAT VIDEO LOLS - Alas, an
Android developer has spoiled the fun with an
app that always record horizontal video, no
matter how you hold your phone.
https://play.google.com/store/apps/details
* BUSINESS TOWN - whimsically-illustrated
cautionary tales of business-related twattery -
Richard Scarry brought up to date.
http://welcometobusinesstown.tumblr.com/
* EVER WONDERED WHAT WHALE SHIT LOOKS LIKE -
reminds us of an incident in the 3rd year at
school with James Burgess (Hi James)
http://petapixel.com/2015/01/23/underwater-photogr...
* WORRYING DEVELOPMENT - you should be scared,
technological singularity isn't a dating site.
http://www.skynet.com/
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: VIDEO SCHMIDEO
Like a CASIO TV watch but it doesn't tell time
* WEATHER REPORTER DEALS WITH TECH GLITCH - with
a stylish ad-lib.
http://www.b3ta.com/links/Local_weather_reporter_d...
* SINCLAIR SPECTRUM TEARDOWN - we're literally
spent much of the week watching the bloke at
EEVBLOG take apart computers. Unapologetically
geeky and we only understand about 25% of it,
but we can't stop watching. He also does a
Sinclair C5 and we can't wait to get home to
finish watching him full apart a kindle.
https://www.youtube.com/watch
* JS BACH MOBIUS STRIP - what happens if you
stick a musical score on a looping mobius strip?
http://www.b3ta.com/links/J_S_Bach_Crab_Canon
* TANK VS TENNIS PLAYER - nice bit of video
editing. We assume it's editing or tennis has
suddenly got a lot more interesting.
http://www.b3ta.com/links/AUS_OPEN_2015_Djokovic_v...
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A BASIC programmer didn't close their FOR loop.
You won't believe what happened NEXT.
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: FUNNY NAME CORNER
Threeway action
* FANNY KEY - nameleft writes, "Would it be
awkward giving your address to a new girlfriend?
Or does 'have private island' win?"
http://www.vladi-private-islands.de/en/island+buy+...#!prettyPhoto
* AMUSING BBC NAME - barst writes, "This is not
the aerial photgrapher you are looking for"
http://i.imgur.com/mprtnLS.jpg
* RUDE-LOOKING ORNAMENT - Apparently a 'mother
and child art sculpture' - yeah right. (thanks
jim.s)
http://www.ebay.co.uk/itm/BEAUTIFUL-MARBLE-MOTHER-...
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: B3TA IMAGE CHALLENGE
Results from the 'Comedy Crossover' challenge
Last week we gave classic comedy characters a
busmans holiday, shopping them in to other tv
shows and films.
Our favourites included:
* Fawlty Fools: Don’t mention the bar. (Fresh
Water Mole)
http://b3ta.com/board/11130229
* All hours: Are you L-l-l-l-l-l-local? (Capt
Hood-Butter)
http://b3ta.com/board/11130281
* Fawlty Fools2: Taking it to the streets.
(VicBrown)
http://b3ta.com/board/11130184
All these images, and a load more can be found
here:
http://b3ta.com/challenge/comedycrossover/popular/
>> New challenge: In Drawers <<
It’s a crafty creative challenge this week. Open
a drawer, pull out the contents and turn it in
to something for our delight. Channel your inner
Tony Hart, Neil Buchanan or Rol.. no stick to
the first two.
http://b3ta.com/challenge/indrawers/
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: WHAT HAPPENED NEXT?
Follow-ups on previous stories.
* SCARY KNIVES - UltimateMonkey writes, "Was
reading the newsletter last night and it had a
link for some Swiss made knife with '87 Tools &
141 Functions', which is laughably shit compared
to what we're packing up here"
http://www.hawleytoolcollection.com/index.php
* GET MONTY A HOFMEISTER BEAR COSTUME - Do you
love Monty or hate him? Either way, this seems
like poetic justice (via PhillieJoe)
http://www.crowdfunder.co.uk/get-monty-a-george-th...
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: Ottawan's D.I.S.C.O. (12" Remix)
She is D delirious
She is I incredible
She is S superficial
She is C complicated
She is O oh, oh, oh
She is T terracotta
She is H hydroponic
She is E extremely eggy
She is Q quixotic
She is U under active
She is E eee, eee, eee by gum
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: STAR IN NEXT WEEK'S ISSUE
Make something cool and tell us about it. If
you are in it then people will see your stuff.
Things we'd really like to see include
* Let's put the fun back into funerals - coffins
should be shaped by the position you die in.
* Hold a leather wallet to your cheek. Now hold
a smartphone. The cheekfeel of leather is so much
nicer. We demand 'cheekfeel' becomes a thing in
2015.
* A bullet with our name on it. Actually we
asked for this before and they actually turned
up. It was a bit odd.
Send contributions via the mail form.
http://www.b3ta.com/mailus/
BTW: If you've sent something in that hasn't
been featured then don't be put off - we look
at everything you send us.
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Sub: [email protected]
Snub: [email protected]
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: FOLLOW B3TA ON TWITTER
There's a really neat hack built into Twitter
that improves it massively. Press CTRL W:
https://twitter.com/b3ta
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THANKS:
This issue was written by Rob Manuel with
David Stevenson. Stuff sent in by Frogbeat,
tubaman, barst, robneymcplum, Mudface, smaggers
& p.hill.
Image challenge by Fraser Lewry.
Mike Trinder is QOTW bloke.
Top tips via teedyay.
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TOP TIP:
Cut one fingernail every day. They'll all remain
respectably short but you'll always have one
long enough for scratching, nose-picking or
separating lego bricks.
