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NEWSLETTER: DISAPPOINTING TIM BERNERS-LEE SINCE 2001

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This Week:
* CREEPY - On Facebook how to be
* COCA COLA - Doesn't love Hitler
* ROBOTS - 93 years of robo-film

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________  ____ __  ___
____/  _)|_  // /_/ _ | "It's not a newsletter   
___/  _ |/_ </ __/ __ |   it's Russell Brand's
__/____/____/\__/_/ |_|      Trewsletter"

B3ta email 652 - 6 Feb 2015

Read this issues for a good times:
http://b3ta.com/newsletter/issue652 

Join the union: b3ta-subscribe@yahoogroups.com
         Scabs: b3ta-unsubscribe@yahoogroups.com

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: SPONSORED LINK
  An electronic Nigel Farage candle
  
  When bored we like to type "ukip" into Amazon -
  the useless tat never fails to amuse.
http://www.amazon.co.uk/exec/obidos/ASIN/B00RNHD7R6/b3ta-21

  
  >> Sponsor B3ta <<
  Want this space? Then talk to us.
http://b3ta.com/mailus/


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: WHAT B3TA PEOPLE HAVE BEEN MAKING THIS WEEK
  Making is not an euphemism 

  >> Seagull Skytrails <<
  "I used After Effects on some footage of a
  couple of seagulls," claims poochngeez. But we
  know the truth: Oceanic birds are tracing
  sinister sky-runes above our slumbering seaside
  towns. And somewhere a deep bell is tolling.
http://www.b3ta.com/links/Seagull_Skytrails


  >> Make hazelnut yoghurt with Elton John's brother <<
  "Elton John's brother John John teaches you how
  to make hazlenut yoghurt," explains Pig Face
  Turnip. It's classic John John.
http://www.b3ta.com/links/1271772/


  >> A novel in 27 hours! <<
  "I am doing something very foolish this year,"
  apologises CTS. "I'm attempting to write a
  novel in just 27 hours. And in exchange for
  donations, you can add creative input to the
  finished thing - then I'll flog it online for
  more charity cash." It's for Red Nose Day.
http://my.rednoseday.com/sponsor/27hournovella


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: LONDON BASH LONDON BASH LONDON BASH <<

  There's another B3ta Bash. Fray Bentos
  explains: "Planning another London summer bash
  as last year's was such a fucking mess. Tabs
  wetting himself, Spesh & Herbs waking up in a
  park etc."

  Sign up:
http://www.b3ta.com/calendar/event/25474


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: USVSTH3M
  How long before it's USVSTH£M? Think about it

  >> Dead cat wins at Twitter <<
  "I bought 90k Twitter followers for my sadly
  lamented dead cat for £25," boasts Ginger
  Fuhrer Rob Manuel. For anyone who thinks
  follower count matters. (Also featuring the
  very same cat that's been on the front page of
  B3ta for about 10 years, which we used to refer
  to as 'the official B3ta cat')
http://t.co/m653TU2t5z


  >> Would you like a job? <<
  We are recruiting, both a Javascripty/HTML5 dev
  and a graphicy person to make things look nice.
  Sound like you? Read the full spec:
http://t.co/Y2pYoLwNet


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: B3TA IMAGE CHALLENGE
  Results from the 'In Drawers' challenge

  Last week you wanted to empty out the contents
  of your drawers and go all Etsy on them.
 
  Your favourites included:

  * Who: The drawers in the Tardis are packed. 
  (monkeon)
http://b3ta.com/board/11132070

  * Go for your Pun: with Big John Wayne
 (Ya What?)
http://b3ta.com/board/11131801
 
  * Witch Drawer?: found footage in the kitchen.
  (monkeon)
http://b3ta.com/board/11131494
  
  All these images, and a load more can be
 found here:
http://b3ta.com/challenge/indrawers/


   >> New challenge: Lies! <<
  This week we want you to tell porkies. 
  Come up with a massive fib and show us it 
  in pictorial form. Or if you can't think 
  of your own, illustrate the terrible 
  untruths people have tricked you with..
http://b3ta.com/challenge/lies/


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: SITES IN BRIEF
  Stuff we like that wasn't made by our mates

  * WHAT HAPPENS AFTER WEBSITES? Some interesting
  thoughts on the post-website future of media
  from @jwherrman.
http://www.theawl.com/2015/02/the-next-internet-is-tv 


  * COCA COLA TWEETS MEIN KAMPF - Coca Cola put
  out a Twitter toy that let you format your own
  text. The result? For a couple of hours on
  Tuesday morning, its Twitter feed was
  broadcasting big chunks of Hitlerís
  autobiography, albeit in the form of a smiling
  banana or a cat playing a drum kit.
http://t.co/QMAA7DU757


  * CARDS AGAINST HUMANITY now have a private
  island. Hoorah!
http://cah.tumblr.com/post/110099027175/


  * HOW TO BE CREEPY ON FACEBOOK - the best thing
  we've read this week and we've read everything.
http://goo.gl/5NZbKQ


   * RUBBISH OPTICAL ILLUSIONS - this caught us
   the other night and really tickled us. Then
   today it didn't make us laugh at all. WHAT IS
   FUNNY? WHO ARE WE?
http://optillusions.tumblr.com/


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: VIDEO SCHMIDEO
  Like TV  but inside your computer made of pixels

  * 'SPECDRUM' 80s DOC - Magical documentary about
  two guys who lived the Thatcherite dream of
  escaping a squat by making a drum machine.
  Massively watchable 80s business doc about
  making the 'Specdrum' - that at moments feels
  like a 'Comic Strip Presents.'. 
http://youtu.be/RVLOeINDN-Q 


  * 93 YEARS OF ROBOTS ON FILM - a quick history
  lesson on how we've attempted to visualise
  humanities successors come the singularity. 
http://www.b3ta.com/links/93_years_of_robots_on_film


  * CRAZY RUSSIAN HACKER - this week we've become
  oddly obsessed with this YouTube star who isn't
  even Russian and puts up endless, "you've been
  doing X wrong lifehack videos" - we'd like to
  confirm that at least one of his tips works - we
  just got a biro working again by heating the tip
  with a lighter.
https://www.youtube.com/user/CrazyRussianHacker


  * 1974 STUNTMAN - it's the low-key and clearly
  safety-last nature of this footage that makes it
  compelling. Also the news that there's a load of
  clips on the BFI site? That's something to nerd
  out on later.
http://goo.gl/FdfrjI


  * PIXEL-ART SIMPSONS INTRO - You might not have
  enjoyed The Simpsons for 15 years but you WILL
  like this pixel art tribute. We watched this
  thinking this was an actual Simpsons production,
  as occasionally they get artists in to
  direct this bit of the show, e.g. Banksy in
  2010, but no, this is purely a fan project.
http://www.b3ta.com/links/Paul_Robertsons_Simpsons_intro


  * AMUSING SWEDISH MAGICIAN - Carl-Einar Häckner
  might keep you happily diverted for 5 mins as he does
  horrible things to a banana.
http://www.b3ta.com/links/Amusing_swedish_magician


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: STAR IN NEXT WEEK'S ISSUE

  Make something cool and tell us about it. If
  you are in it then people will see your stuff.

  Things we'd really like to see include

  * Some kind of joke about Graham Massey and
  Sting making a record together with the
  punchline "police state" except imagine it's
  funny.
  
  * Oh god - some fucker is opening a chocolate
  bar cafe in shoreditch where you can pet baby
  llamas. I'm dreading the thinkpieces. If we
  get angry enough about it it will become true.
  
  * Upper middle-class listicle pitch: 27 problems
  only a buy-to-let landlord would understand.

  Send contributions via the mail form.
http://www.b3ta.com/mailus/

  BTW: If you've sent something in that hasn't
  been featured then don't be put off - we look
  at everything you send us.


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 Vote for change:  b3ta-subscribe@yahoogroups.com
 Spoil ballot : b3ta-unsubscribe@yahoogroups.com

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    Follow @b3ta on Twitter and win a leopard:
    https://twitter.com/b3ta
  
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  THANKS:
  This issue was written by Rob Manuel with
  David Stevenson. Stuff sent in by HappyToast,
  sinisterduck, Pesky Young Scamp and Tusk.
  Image challenge by Fraser Lewry.
  Mike Trinder is QOTW bloke.
  Subjlols via sandettie light vessel automatic 
  Tip via Baying cyber-mob
  
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  online newsletter consider making sure they work.

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