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NEWSLETTER: "LET'S ALL PRETEND TO KATIE HOPKINS THAT LABOUR WON"

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This Week:
* ANIMATION - Fist: Pounding 8bit gameplay
* ROYAL BABY - Some kind of awful image challenge
* ELECTION - What we did to fuck it all up. Sorry.

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________  ____ __  ___
____/  _)|_  // /_/ _ | "Read this newsletter     
___/  _ |/_ </ __/ __ |   pretending you've got
__/____/____/\__/_/ |_|     a Tory voice"

B3ta email 663  - 08 May 2015

Tories back in. It should have been issue 666.
http://b3ta.com/newsletter/issue663 

Friend b3ta on Facebook: 
https://www.facebook.com/b3tan

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: SPONSORED LINK
  Trailer Park Boys return to the UK

  A complaint letter from a member of the audience
  about the last time they played the UK:

  "I attended the performance of Trailer Park Boys
  on 03/05/2013 at Hammersmith Apollo. During the
  course of the performance the following took
  place;

  * A stage invasion
  * A member of the audience sexually harassed a
  member of the cast;
  * Loud shouting interrupted the performance
  * Cannabis was being smoked in the auditorium In
  fact I believe it represented a danger to the
  audience and the cast.
  
  Please be aware I have raised this issue with my
  solicitor to ensure appropriate action is taken."

  The Trailer Park Boys had so much fun they are
  returning for more.
http://www.kililive.com/artists/trailer-park-boys 


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: WHAT B3TA PEOPLE HAVE BEEN MAKING THIS WEEK
  Other than making sweet, sweet lurve... 

  >> Putin interviews Edwina Currie <<
  B3tans Joel Vietch and Natt have done a curious
  thing - a week of chatshows where Natt pretends
  to be an animated Vladimir Putin. It makes no
  sense but this final interview with Edwina
  Currie is - beneath the bizarre presentation -
  is genuinely fascinating.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WEtGpd7BoDw


  >> Crow Revolution 2 <<
  "The crows are back and they're still
  revolting", writes Eddache.
http://www.b3ta.com/links/Crow_Revolution_2


  >> 8-bit fighty film <<
  Tits writes, "forget election stuff, get fisted."
http://www.b3ta.com/links/FIST


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THE ELECTION
We campaigned hard to disrupt the election but did
people listen?

Obsessing over the General Election is basically
the World Cup for people who got picked last at
games. (We got picked last at games.)

* There was Six50 who told everyone not to vote
TORY. That totally worked.
http://should.i.voteconservative.party/
  
* There was The Thanet Liberation Army who told
people not to vote UKIP - did people listen?
Millions of you didn't but the first past the post
system prevented them getting more than 1 seat.
http://ukindependence.party/

* Actually we're claiming Farage's failure as OUR
win as this image got over 750,000 views and we're
choosing to believe that it worked.
http://bit.ly/did-this-change-the-election


* And of course there was TONNES of election
images on the /board - many of them fucking superb
but yeah, we're pretty depressed writing this
newsletter.
http://www.b3ta.com/challenge/electionposters/popular/ 

Clearly voting Labour is the lie you tell to
pollsters that you're on a diet whilst you vote
for drinking Tory custard in private.

What a nation of twats.

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: ROYAL IMAGE CHALLENGE 
  Results from the 'Royal Baby' challenge

  Last week we squeeze out a bonus image 
  challenge to celebrate the birth of the new
  peopleís princess mkIII.
 
  Your favourites included:

  * Mug: hand-crafted, artisan crockery. (Rob)
http://b3ta.com/board/11148548

  * Royal Mumsnet: help for the mum with too
  many butlers and housekeepers. (monkeon)
http://b3ta.com/board/11148462

  * Name: ooof! (Notfunnydad)
http://b3ta.com/board/11148808
  
  All these images, and a load more can be
  found here:
http://b3ta.com/challenge/royalbaby/


  >> New challenge: Bad Advice <<
  The world is full of bad advice, be it hard to
  follow product instructions, scientifically
  unsound Hollywood plots or just stuff your
  parents told you. Show us the worst suggestions
  people have offered you. Or just photoshop Viz's
  top tips.
http://b3ta.com/challenge/badadvice/


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Friend B3ta on Facebookywook

Yeah. You should friend B3ta on Facebook. We tend
to stick breaking news on there. When we say
'breaking news' we mean topical stuff we find
funny like corporations getting their tweets
wrong. Oh and last weekend we posted pictures of
mugs we were painting in celebration of the royal
birthing.
https://www.facebook.com/b3tan


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: B3TA IMAGE CHALLENGE 
  Results from the 'British Superheroes' 
  challenge

  Last week we asked you to come up with some
  UK alternatives to the deluge of Marvelís
  American demi-gods.
 
  Your favourites included:

  * The Seethe: the mild mannered scientist.
  (AdrianJ)
http://b3ta.com/board/11148324

  * The Mighty Teabag: A hero is brewing.
  (HappyToast)
http://b3ta.com/board/11148255

  * Workman: Heíll come to your rescue, but..
  (sucks teeth) itíll cost you. (AdrianJ)
http://b3ta.com/board/11148292
  
  All these images, and a load more can be found
  here:
http://b3ta.com/challenge/britsupers/


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: SITES IN BRIEF
  Stuff we like that wasn't made by our mates

  * Tiny LEGO computers and phones made into real
  working machines...
http://bit.ly/tiny-lego-shit-you-like-that-shit-yes


  * Send unwanted goat photos to other people's
  phones. How is this even legal?
https://goatattack.com/


  * "A restaurant with plates designed for
  instagramming food." Jesus wept. What is wrong
  with people? Stop pandering to these idiots. Eat
  your bloody dinner and put your phone away.
http://www.foodography.co.il/


  * Just mash the keys with both hands to make it
  look like you know what you're doing.
http://touchpianist.com/


  * Want to make a big shouty poster but canít be
  bothered to do all that fiddly font work? Hereís
  the answer.
http://typeslab.com/  


  * This confession about autofelatio going wrong
  made us laugh.
https://t.co/c1KipRa55b


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Follow @b3ta on Twitter. Go on, it won't hurt
your penis or vagina. Or both.
https://twitter.com/b3ta


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: VIDEO SCHMIDEO
  Like film but much much smaller

  * Creepy video based on a old children's TV show.
https://vimeo.com/121550627

  * If you've ever dismissed Liberace as a joke
  then just watch him play - the speed and
  dexterity on display here is staggering
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ivr0fLYa5Oo


  * RIP Errol Brown. In all the election fuss he's
  been forgotten so here's  Emma by Hot Chocolate.
  We really like this song - even if we first knew
  it from a Sisters of Mercy b-side. 
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IFYOHrwi-W8

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The world probably isn't in the mood for Titanic
facts but we've got one and it's true: the fourth
funnel was fake & only there to impress. We're not
bullshitting. 

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    YAY:  b3ta-subscribe@yahoogroups.com
    NAY:  b3ta-unsubscribe@yahoogroups.com

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  THANKS:
  This issue was written by Rob Manuel with David
  Stevenson. Stuff sent in by Image challenge by
  HappyToast. Mike Trinder is QOTW bloke. Subjlols
  via joefish
  
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Friend b3ta on Facebook: 
https://www.facebook.com/b3tan
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  TOP TIP:
  Enjoy a perfect solar eclipse by closing your
  fridge door really slowly. (robneymcplum)

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