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NEWSLETTER: ISSUE 73: "MONKEYS, NOT KITTENS"

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This Week:
* ANIM - Monkey Song from Rathergood
* COMPETITION - Weebl selects a lady
* TOY - Design your own Rizlas

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___/  _ |/_ </ __/ __ |      "We're saving the
__/____/____/\__/_/ |_|       web ... together"

B3ta email 73 - 24 Jan 2003

Read this issue in your browser:
http://b3ta.com/newsletter/issue73/

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: MOON MONKEY SONG
  from Joel Veitch of Rathergood
 
  Joel writes -
 
  "I thought I'd let my pet monkeys cash in on
  the Kitten Band's success, and they've done it
  really badly.
 
  "Actually, all they did was mime. They made me
  do all the singing -- it was two days before I
  could talk properly again."
 
  Behold the wonder of singing monkeys.
http://www.rathergood.com/moon_song/


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: WEEBL DATE UPDATE
  The ladies are in...

  Last week we gave you the opportunity to win
  a date with premier net celebrity Weebl.

  We visited him while the submissions were
  coming in and were shocked to find him in bed
  at 4pm, naked, smelly and reading emails
  from girls wanting to date him. Some people
  have all the luck.

  Anyway, Weebl has picked a winner and we'll
  be reporting on that next week. But first?
  Have a look at the losers.
http://www.weebls-stuff.com/b3ta/date2.html


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: B3TA RIZLA MACHINE
  Design and print your own covers

  No more fiddling around with boring old Rizla
  packets. Now you can fiddle around with exciting
  new b3ta-style ones! JBoom has made a Flash-based
  page that lets you make and print your own designs.
  Ace.

  Next week: Create your own b3ta crack pipe...
http://www.jboom.com/rizla/


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: WHAT B3TA PEOPLE HAVE BEEN MAKING THIS WEEK
  Sex, Death, Noses, Nukes, Dancing & Kittens

  >> Rainbow Fuck Orgy <<
  This X-rated MP3 is a heavily edited version of
  UK children's favourite Rainbow. "It involved an
  episode of Rainbow where they did exercise",
  writes b3ta regular Vulga, "I made it a bit
  ruder."
http://www.youareallcunts.com/users/vulga/rainbow2.mp3


  >> Mr Stabby goes to the shops <<
  Regulars will be familiar with the
  not-often-enough series from Weebl and Joel
  Veitch, Mr Stabby. This time he's going
  shopping. Can you guess what happens next?
http://www.weebls-stuff.com/flash/shops.html


  >> Michael Jackson Nose Quiz <<
  Jacko has had many different noses in his long
  career. See if you can spot them all in
  Artamnesia's quiz.
http://www.modestypanel.com/mjackson/


  >> Rock Paper Scissors ... Nukes <<
  K3rry has been working on a version of the
  playground classic Rock Paper Scissors. His
  version cheats a bit but still raises a
  couple of laughs.
http://www.marshallsoftware.co.nz/b3ta/rpstripper


  >> Make a man dance <<
  Carl Baldwin is most famous for making the
  famous Argie handbag picture that did the rounds
  a few months ago. His latest thing is an interactive
  dancing man using photos of his mate. It's
  very nicely posed.
http://www.carlbaldwin.co.uk/glendance/


  >> Shout at the kitty <<
  Crikey! This is really innovative. Make noises
  into your microphone and Mr Fancyteeth's kitten
  will jump about. We'd love to see what other
  b3ta people could do with a microphone interface.
  How about a racing game where you make "brum
  brum" noises?
http://www.mantlepies.com/kittygraph.html


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: SITES IN BRIEF 
  Stuff we like that wasn't made by our mates.

  >> Upgrade your feet <<
  Ever wanted to bounce like a kangaroo? The
  PowerSkip straps onto your feet and gives
  you really long bouncy legs. Watch the
  videos. You'll be amazed.
http://www.powerskip.de/photogallery.html


  >> Transgressive Elf-based comic <<
  Elftor is an angry right-wing pixie who lives
  in a comic strip. This episode sees him
  dealing with racism and laundry. Have a
  poke around: there are some really good ones
  in the archives.
http://elftor.com/elftor.php?number=138


  >> Penis Reading <<
  Did you know that you can tell a lot about
  a man from the shape of his willy? A bent
  one is an "air penis" and indicates an
  artistic temperament. Or so it says here.
  What type of cock are you?
http://www.backdoor.com/thenumber/penis1.html


  >> Hang out with sperm <<
  A chatroom without the chat, but with a
  great big egg. You are represented by a
  sperm with your name on it. And so is
  everyone else who visits the page. We
  found it fun to email our friends and get
  as many as possible on at the same time.
  It's a nice feeling to see lots of friendly
  sperms.
http://www.frozenman.com/


  >> One man and his hair <<
  JL is a Finnish chap who over the last five
  years has been growing his hair. He's been
  photographing the progress and experimenting
  with strange lady styles. Slightly icky.
http://sivut.koti.soon.fi/plaque/hair/gallery/


  >> PC Crash Simulator <<
  Here's a neat thing. Send this to your mates
  or stick it on a colleague's computer and
  it'll look as if something has gone very
  wrong indeed. 
http://fun.tmc.dyn.ee/reboot.html


  >> Saab Sauna <<
  There's a bit of a trend for odd modifications
  on the net. The latest we've seen involves
  turning a Saab car into a sauna. Looks good.
  (We can't wait for the future when we can
  link to people genetically engineering
  elephants into house pets.)
http://snurl.com/n8e


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: B3TA IMAGE CHALLENGE
  Results from the Movie Challenge

  Each week we run a competition to test your
  creative skills. We set a challenge and you
  open Photoshop and mess with our heads.

  Last week we wanted "The Cutting Room Floor: 
  Deleted Scenes From The Movies."
http://www.b3ta.com/challenge/movie/

  We asked B3ta boarder Rogan to judge the
  entries - here are his 3 faves.

  Rogan writes -

  #1 "Han and Greedo: There were hundreds of 
     Star Wars posts, but this one felt more 
     authentic than most. I love Han's
     expression. (Whoremonger)
http://www.b3ta.com/board/699110


  #2 "Citizen Kane: Most of Orson Welles' 
     work with powerpoint was butchered by
     studio executives, we must treasure the
     little that remains. (0% Interest)
http://www.b3ta.com/board/696897


  #3 "Saturday Night Fever: Every single 
     thing in this picture clashes, and yet it 
     looks so right! (Flash_Bastard)
http://www.b3ta.com/board/689755


  >> This Week's Challenge <<

  This week, B3ta contributor Bovine gave us
  the suggestion, "Extinct! What was it and
  where did it go?"
http://b3ta.com/challenge/extinct/


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: WHAT HAPPENED NEXT?
  Follow-ups on previous stories.

  * B3TA BOARDER IN THE NEWS - Manic recently
    attended an anti-war protest in London, and
    his photoshopped image of Tony Blair reached
    many of the national papers.
http://makeashorterlink.com/?U2CA52233


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: STAR IN NEXT WEEK'S ISSUE

  Make something cool and tell us about it. If
  you are in it then people will see your stuff.

  Things we'd really like to see include:

  * NEW GAMES CONTROLLED BY MICROPHONES. Yeah we
    know a lot of people can't play them but
    there's something really exciting about
    this novel interface.

  * PRESS CLIPPINGS MENTIONING B3TA STUFF. We
    rely on you to tell us if you see any of
    our work in the papers. We buzz off getting
    scans we can stick in the 'Great Book of
    b3ta.' We can't show the grandkids a load
    of broken URLs you know.

  * FREEBIES. We like getting free stuff in
    the mail. Last week we were sent a DVD
    of Lemon Jelly's 'Nice Weather for Ducks'
    It's actually rather fantastic.

  Send contributions to http://www.b3ta.com/mailus/

  BTW: If you've sent something in that hasn't
  been featured then don't be put off - we look
  at everything you send us.


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  THANKS: 

  This issue was edited by Rob Manuel
  with David Stevenson.
  Links sent in by Fraser 'God' Lewry, Owen
  Briant, Richard Leyton, Andy / Trials and
  Glassfish.
  Image challenge handled by Mike Trinder.
  Proofing by the cheeky b4ta squirrels.
  And a special woo for Denise Wilton for being
  the best web designer in the UK bar none.
  (59080)

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