NEWSLETTER: ISSUE 74: "TINY VAMPIRE BOFFINS"
This Week:
* ANIMATION - Tiny vampire boffins
* GAME - Feed the nine-mouthed baby
* INTERVIEW - Argie handbag bloke
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___/ _ |/_ </ __/ __ | "We're saving the
__/____/____/\__/_/ |_| web ... together"
B3ta email 74 - 31 Jan 2003
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http://b3ta.com/newsletter/issue74/
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: HUMAN FLEA ANIMATION
Vampire boffin's quiff ordeal
It's an age-old story. Professor has freak lab
accident, shrinks to tiny size and is trapped
on the head of his assistant.
"It's Incredible Shrinking Man meets Little
House on the Prairie meets Silence of the
Lambs," writes animator Wol. And he's not wrong.
With his absurdist, well-crafted work we think
this bloke will go far.
http://www.halfgiraffe.com/flea/flea2.html
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: FEED THE NINE-MOUTHED BABY
Freakish, disturbing, fun
Yuck. Matazone's latest game makes our skin
crawl. The concept is simple: feed a child the
things he asks for. But it's hard to
concentrate when your instructions emanate
from such an unnervingly grotesque creation.
In Victorian times you'd pay good money to see
something like this. And probably fuck it.
http://www.matazone.co.uk/feed-the-nine-mouthed-ba...
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: ARGIE HANDBAG PHOTOSHOPPER INTERVIEW
Reclusive web genius tells all
Carl Baldwin is famous. You might not know
his name, but you've probably seen his work.
He made that picture of the Argentinian
football team with handbags. It went round
the world. It was in all the newspapers.
Now we've finally got an interview with him.
http://www.b3ta.com/interview/carlbaldwin/
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: WHAT B3TA PEOPLE HAVE BEEN MAKING THIS WEEK
Weebl, Fonts, Stutters, C5, Killers, Moonometer
>> Weebl Sherlock Holmes <<
The final episode of 'Bob's Week in
France' is here at last. And it's a corker.
An arty pulp detective/Twin Peaks theme this
time. Most peculiar.
http://www.weebl.jolt.co.uk/bobs%20week%20in%20fra...
>> Extraordinarily Anal Font Quiz <<
Obsessive about type? Really fancy your
typographic skills? See if you can tell the
difference between Arial and Helvetica with
your naked eye. Derren Wilson's font quiz may
be as specialised as they can get without being
incomprehensible to normal humans.
http://www.iliveonyourvisits.com/helvetica/
>> Gareth Gates Supergroup <<
UK Pop Idol winner Gareth Gates fronts a
supergroup of celebrity stutterers in this
entertaining short video. Hoorah for cheap
jibes at the afflicted! (Thanks Mr Bongo)
http://mrbongo.uh-hosting.co.uk/garethgates/
>> Channel 5 Parody <<
"I made this to show my hatred for those
bleeding Channel 5 advert thingies",
writes Jibbed, "I'm getting mad just
talking about them." We're not sure why he
cares so much, but he made us laugh.
http://www.magic-carpet.freeserve.co.uk/thb/channe...
>> Gay Dog Game <<
Breel has followed up his popular "keep a
kitten warm" page with dressing up game
for dogs.
http://www.breel.pwp.blueyonder.co.uk/gaydog/
>> Moonometer <<
Ever wondered how many penises placed end to
end it would take to reach the moon? Yes?
You're odd. But you can find out with this
useful moon utility which measures such things.
(Thanks JBoom & Hugo Rune)
http://www.design4online.com/b3ta/moonometer/index...
>> Serial Killer Guessing Game <<
Monkeon. Oh Monkeon. Each week he sends us stuff
and we worry for his sanity. This week he's made
a game where you have to guess whether the next
number will be higher or lower. But it's based
on serial killers. Imaginary serial killers.
http://www.monkeon.co.uk/kroeger/
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: SITES IN BRIEF
Stuff we like that wasn't made by our mates.
>> Sock Matching Game <<
Now this is a thing of wonder and beauty. Drag
matching pairs of socks together, to tidy up
the screen. There's a nice payoff for you, once
you've finished the lot.
http://www.nobodyhere.com/justme/socks.php3
>> Penis-shaped navel ring <<
Ladies. Surprise your fella by attaching this
metal cock to your belly button. Or surprise
him even more by wearing it in your ear. This
site features one of the finest animated gifs
in history.
http://bodypunks.com/BPIBCH195.htm
>> James Bond Animation <<
Neil Cicierega created a web genre of bizarre
videos for Japanese pop tunes, full of pop culture
references and US comedian Colin Mochrie. This
charming James Bond video surpasses most other
imitations through its sheer kinetic energy.
http://home.attbi.com/~dwedit/flash/jamezbond.html
>> Sound Controlled Platform Game <<
The latest version of Flash allows for
microphone input. Sounds dull? It's not. It
opens a wealth of interesting possibilities in
making stupid web pages. This one lets you
control a blob by shouting. It's fantastic and
will bring your office to a halt. Er.. if you've
got a microphone, anyway.
http://www.perfectfools.com/projects/crashbaby.htm...
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: B3TA IMAGE CHALLENGE
Results from the Extinct! Challenge
Each week we run a competition to test your
creative skills. We set a challenge and you
open Photoshop and mess with our heads.
Last week we wanted things that have become
extinct for some reason:
http://b3ta.com/challenge/extinct/
We asked B3ta boarder 'Barry the Time Sprout'
to judge the entries - here are his 3 faves.
The Time Sprout writes -
#1 "Faceless Polar Bear - Great pic, simple
caption. I think somewhere, John Travola
is running round with this creature's
face on. (Darryn.R)
http://www.b3ta.com/board/716880
#2 "Trolls - I think we've all been guilty of
this. A well placed spong too.
(Sickpuppy)
http://www.b3ta.com/board/723776
#3 "Moon penguins - The poor little blighters
might still be with us today if the NASA
boys hadn't run out of golf balls." (shiftClick)
http://www.b3ta.com/board/728832
>> This Weeks Challenge <<
This week, Greenpeace contacted us to ask if
we'd photoshop for world peace? Of course we
would. Er.. but we can't promise the results
will be exactly what they're looking for.
http://b3ta.com/challenge/worldpeace/
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: WHAT HAPPENED NEXT?
Follow-ups on previous stories.
* WEEBL DATE LATEST - he's selected a lady and
they're going out for dinner on the 15th of
February. She's an air stewardess. More news
as it happens.
* ROCKY THE B3TA CAT - we've uploaded him to
ratemykitten, but inexplicably he's only
scored 5. Please vote for him. He may not
be much to look at, but he's the only cat
we've got. Next week: buy Rocky on eBay.
http://www.ratemykitten.com/
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: STAR IN NEXT WEEK'S ISSUE
Make something cool and tell us about it. If
you are in it then people will see your stuff.
Things we'd really like to see include:
* War. It's worth it for the oil.
* Games girls like playing. Pattern-matching
games such as Tetris & Solitaire, not just
shooting stuff.
* Your usual mix of stupid videos, games
publishers wouldn't touch and animations
that make us laugh.
Send contributions to http://www.b3ta.com/mailus/
BTW: If you've sent something in that hasn't
been featured then don't be put off - we look
at everything you send us.
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THANKS:
This issue was edited by Rob Manuel
with David Stevenson.
Links sent in by Fraser, J Brown,
Julien Chantefort & Greetz Wouter.
Image challenge handled, managed and nurtured
by Mike Trinder.
Proofing by the websafe-coloured b4ta minstrels.
Thanks to Nickstan, the originator of the
Blue Screen of Death simulator.
And special thanks to Cal Henderson for being
the bestest coder in the world.
(59371)
