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For our Valentines Party we're holding a raffle. We asked our newsletter readers and message boarders to send in stuff. Gosh. And they did. Tonnes of it. Poor old postie has got a hernia.

Fucking hell. Sue Blakeston has sent us a bullet with our name on it. We are more than a little scared.

This device will detect free wireless contections whilst you are out and about. Handy for downloading kiddy porn using other peoples accounts. Buy them here.

Now this is special. A piss load of CDs via Warners. No way have we MP3d them up for our own use before passing them on. That would be wrong and evil. Big yays to James Harris.

Oooh. Look at this selection of vids & DVDS. Not sure about the Summer Slam one tho. She looks like a tranny to us. And the tape mostly consists of shots of wrestling men. But the Sweeny DVDs are top notch. Thanks to Ed Chipperfield of Front Magazine who says, "it's a pleasure. After robbing websites from B3ta to put in the magazine for these last two years, it's the least I can do." Hmm. Well you could write a story going, "B3ta is top. Send them your cash."

Fucking hell. Turn your PC into a TV. Huzzah. There's one in the eye for ad agencies who moan "why can't the web be more like TV?" Anyway. Cheers again to the blokey from Front Magazine.

Big ups to companies who we ran out of time to photograph...

Down on the Farm has sent us a his version of the Bayeux Tapestry. A little more swearing than the original.

Ah. What could be better than some good honest Japanese kitten porn. Frankly we managed to crank out three before running out of pages. Muchos kudos to Peter Cooke for knowing us too well.

Tonnes of Manga CD soundtrack stuff here. Tentacle Rape SFX Vol 1 to 8 not included. Again from Peter Cooke.

Some "Bloody soft shawls" via Brigitte Jacobsen. Handy for seepage. Nah, these are really quite lovely if you throw like a girl.

Oooh. The complete collection of Spaced on DVD. FACT: The original title of the show was Spackered. Damn the dullwads at the ITC to hell. Big woos to Anthony Jarret.

Is it a pig? Is it a cow? Fuck knows, but it got us horny as hell. Cheers Stevierar. Hope you don't mind the drips.

What every mantlepiece needs: a small plastic gnome with a huge penis. Might work as a Realdoll for a kitten. Cheers Kristine.

Now we've seen it all. A windup device for your mobile phone. Coz all you nerds love the great outdoors don't you? Thanks Stephanie Gordon.

Bumsnogger are here to rock your world. And snog your bum. Wonder if they use tongues?

Er... We forgot to put this in the last raffle. We think it's death metal so scary that you'll literally die from vomiting your own poo if you play it.

Yay. A book on panic attacks from workboresme. Considering she's the lady who sent us the bullets it's apposite.

A comic and t-shirt from Fudebakudo. Blimey - our fingers are utterly monged out from typing. Nurse! Bring on the pre-op unicorns.


CREDITS: Rob Manuel: words, model & postal depot. Denise Wilton: Sending nice emails to people saying thanks. Weebl: pics.

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