As you may know Cyriak AKA Mutated Monty from these very parts has written a book.
We've got FIVE SIGNED COPIES to give away.
Complete this tiebreaker "Why did Cyriak cross the road?" and we'll pick the winners in a week's time.
Add your entries to this thread on the messageboard.
'Horse Destroys The Universe" is out on the 29th of August and is available to preorder on Amazon.
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Life is very dull compared to the movies, so lets make things more exciting by putting special effects in to everyday activities. Give us explosions, lens flares and cg enhancements to the most mundane of things.
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This Week:
* SUNSETS - And how to find them
* VAMPIRES - More concentrated in the south UK
* DEEP FAKES - Uk politics blah blah blah
Read newsletter 723
This Week:
* QUIZ - SERIAL KILLER OR PROGRAMMER, IT RETURNS
* SONG - WRITTEN WITH WORDS TO ANNOY REES-MOGG
* SHIT POETRY - YES, POETRY ABOUT SHIT
Read newsletter 722
The same old films are getting made and remade, Hollywood needs to look further afield for source material so lets give them some ideas. Make movie adaptions of reference books, scientific papers, life stories and anything else they'd never think of looking at.
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* MAN CHESTS - that look like human faces
* PHOTOS - that move just like real-life
* PUBS - mapped to nearest tube station
Read newsletter 721
It's the Summer holidays so put on your swimsuit, roll out a beach towel and photoshop your favourite films, tv shows and pop stars doing Summery stuff.
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Boris is in charge but we can't face a whole week of him so lets do political sitcoms instead. Mrs Gordon Browns Boys, Catastrophe that sort of thing
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It's a words and music week, pick a song or album and replace a letter to make a new word and ideally a funny. It's a letter change music challenge.
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This Week:
* QUIZ - Spot the art from the comment
* CONFESS - Tell us your terrible sins
* JEREMY *UNT - What's his name again?
Read newsletter 720
We're celebrating the world of celebrity photoshop fails this week. Instagram trend setters that leave distorted backgrounds or cloned body parts in shot and fashion shoots with impossibly long legs or too many elbows.
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We're updating TV shows this week, reboot them with more culturally relevant themes. Modernise TV!
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This Week:
* QUIZ - Is this a pipe?
* DRUGS - Gove finally takes them for you
* BALLS - Photos of Hitler's balls in 4D
Read newsletter 719
Take a famous painting or sculpture or arty thing and put it or part of it in to another painting or sculpture or arty thing. It's a b3ta art mashup
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We have done Kubrick and Scott, let us move on to Spielberg. Give us your best b3ta versions of all his films and tv shows.
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- * SUNSETS - AND HOW TO FIND THEM
- * VAMPIRES - MORE CONCENTRATED IN THE SOUTH UK
- * DEEP FAKES - UK POLITICS BLAH BLAH BLAH
Everyday Effects
Life is very dull compared to the movies, so lets make things more exciting by putting special effects in to everyday activities. Give us explosions, lens flares and cg enhancements to the most mundane of things.
I'm Sorry I've Written A Joke
Challenge: write a joke. As simple joke with a setup and a punchline. RULES OF ENGAGEMENT - IGNORING THIS COULD RESULT IN BAN * Don't steal jokes - write them * Don't flood post * Just don't be a dick ok? So join in and write a bad joke and apologise for it. Read Latest | Highest Voted
Celebrity or Look-a-like
Ah, the wonderful world of celebrity look-a-likes. What a fun bit of googling this quiz was.
Smoke a fag
Yay. Ciggies are great. C'mon kids - light up for Uncle B3ta.
Notepad Invaders
Oh fuck. The aliens are coming. And this time they're from the planet biro.
2 cups 1 bag
One tea-bag makes two cups of tea. Nobody appears to know this, so we've made a guide.
Patrick Moore
Patrick Moore: Moon-mapper, xylophonist and eccentric genius. He hates May bugs and loves cats. B3ta roving reporter Kirk Rutter tracked him down and asked him, "What are you like?"
