NEWSLETTER: ISSUE 10: THE CELEBRITY ISSUE
This Week:
- Freaks
- Tossers
- Porn
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B3ta Issue 10 - 21 Sept 2001 - THE CELEBRITY ISSUE
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Like a stupid joke, news of an odd site spreads
like syphilis. No-one knows where jokes come from
and these sites seem to spring from nowhere.
But if the site creator turns the spotlight on
themselves then they in turn can become
celebrities. Sort of.
The original - but not necessarily the best -
example of this phenomenon was Mahir - the
'I kiss you' Turk who wanted laydeez to 'visit'
him. Nice.
And Mahir isn't the only one - B3ta gives you
THE top 10 celebs of the web.
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: TOP TEN WEB CELEBS
In no particular order.
@ 10: Kevvi - Ugly boy model
With a body of pudding, and the face of a
slack-jawed moron, Kevvi is revolting to
behold.
His site purports to sell photos and videos for
your enjoyment.
In fact it's a piss-take of a REAL model's site
- a 16-year-old girl called Stephi - and now
Kevvi is claiming harassment from the owners
of Stephi's site.
We like Kevvi - he mings and he's causing
trouble.
Kevvi - click for 'free' photos
http://www.kevvimodel.com/
Stephi (16? she looks 30)
http://www.stephimodel.com
@ 9: Y2khai - For real?
This wannabe Asian hip hop star is actually a
marketing experiment from three dot-com
lay-offs from WireBreak Entertainment.
(BTW: Y2khai calls himself "One loc'd out
asian" - loc is slang for loco, i.e. mad - or
on drugs.)
Aye.
http://www.y2khai.com/
@ 8: Freaky Muscled Child
Nine-year-old bodybuilder Richard Sandrak looks
like girl stuffed with walnuts.
Despite this - his fame has escaped the net
ghetto, and he's currently working on a movie
version of Tarzan.
It's child abuse:
http://www.richardsandrak.com/
@ 7: Jesus - likes a soapy tit wank
He wants you to join his bath. Don't ask why.
His offer hasn't been very popular - only one
woman has taken him up. And she was ugly.
Wash your sins away:
http://www.jesus.com/
@ 6: Peter Pan - he's a middle aged man
Randy Constan is 47 year old man who wears
tights and closely identifies with Peter Pan.
He put up his site to "find his Tinkerbell."
It worked - some bird out there was dumb enough
to fall for his rubbish.
(BTW: In the movie - Hook - Julia Roberts had
an assistant whose only responsibility was
cleaning her feet.)
http://www.pixyland.org/peterpan/
@ 5: Alex Chiu - Your money or your life
Alex offers eternal life in exchange for money.
Well - in fact - he offers a magnetic ring which
he promises will bring you a life ever-lasting -
and at $25 per ring - it is a good deal.
Kiss his ring and count the cash:
http://www.alexchiu.com
@ 4: Mahir - Squeeze his box
We already know he wants to kiss you but did you
know that Mahir Cagri was set up by a friend -
who designed the page featuring Mahir paying an
accordion and wearing red speedos - as a joke. Ha ha.
A few million email forwards later, and Mahir
was touring America with a novelty single.
Poor old chap - he's gone from obscurity back to
obscurity quicker than Bubble from Big Brother.
@ 3: Kok Wee - Man Utd Fan
Kok Wee (Cock Wee?) loves football, badly
animated graphics, and Liz Hurley.
His site proved so popular, that the corporate
portal football365 have signed him up as a
columnist - and thankfully they've kept his
'unique' spelling.
Site
http://www.geocities.com/kokweeuk/manutd.html
365 Column
http://football365.com/You_Say_We_say/Kok_Kwee
@ 2: Wo-Hen Nankan - Prince of ponces
He looks like a lady boy with who forgot to
shave, and describes himself as a "Genius of
Asian Rock".
Too bad he's a fake, with Wo Hen Nankan
meaning "I'm really ugly" in Chinese.
Love you long time, 10 dollars.
http://www.geocities.com/asianprince213/
@ 1: Danni Ashe - look at her gash
The Guinness Book of Records proclaim Danni as
the web's most downloaded woman.
She celebrated her billionth download, on
December 5th last year.
She's giving you what you want, you filthy
little bastards.
Read an interview:
http://www.ainews.com/danni_ashe.phtml
Have a wank:
http://www.danni.com/
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: ARE YOU A WEB CELEB?
Then b3ta wants to hear from you. Go on, don't
be shy - send your site to [email protected]
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: THANKS
Lucy - cheap jokes
Fraser - http://www.blogjam.com/
