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This Week:

 - Freaks
 - Tossers
 - Porn

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B3ta Issue 10 - 21 Sept 2001 - THE CELEBRITY ISSUE
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  Like a stupid joke, news of an odd site spreads
  like syphilis. No-one knows where jokes come from
  and these sites seem to spring from nowhere.

  But if the site creator turns the spotlight on
  themselves then they in turn can become
  celebrities. Sort of.

  The original - but not necessarily the best -
  example of this phenomenon was Mahir - the
  'I kiss you' Turk who wanted laydeez to 'visit'
  him. Nice.

  And Mahir isn't the only one - B3ta gives you
  THE top 10 celebs of the web.

  In no particular order.

@ 10: Kevvi - Ugly boy model

   With a body of pudding, and the face of a 
   slack-jawed moron, Kevvi is revolting to

   His site purports to sell photos and videos for
   your enjoyment.

   In fact it's a piss-take of a REAL model's site 
   - a 16-year-old girl called Stephi - and now
   Kevvi is claiming harassment from the owners
   of Stephi's site.

   We like Kevvi - he mings and he's causing

   Kevvi - click for 'free' photos

   Stephi (16? she looks 30)

@ 9: Y2khai - For real?

    This wannabe Asian hip hop star is actually a
    marketing experiment from three dot-com
    lay-offs from WireBreak Entertainment.

    (BTW: Y2khai calls himself "One loc'd out 
    asian" - loc is slang for loco, i.e. mad - or 
    on drugs.)


@ 8: Freaky Muscled Child

    Nine-year-old bodybuilder Richard Sandrak looks 
    like girl stuffed with walnuts.

    Despite this - his fame has escaped the net
    ghetto, and he's currently working on a movie 
    version of Tarzan.

    It's child abuse:

@ 7: Jesus - likes a soapy tit wank

   He wants you to join his bath. Don't ask why.

   His offer hasn't been very popular - only one
   woman has taken him up. And she was ugly.
   Wash your sins away:

@ 6: Peter Pan - he's a middle aged man

   Randy Constan is 47 year old man who wears
   tights and closely identifies with Peter Pan.

   He put up his site to "find his Tinkerbell." 

   It worked - some bird out there was dumb enough 
   to fall for his rubbish.

   (BTW: In the movie - Hook - Julia Roberts had
   an assistant whose  only responsibility was 
   cleaning her feet.)


@ 5: Alex Chiu - Your money or your life

   Alex offers eternal life in exchange for money.

   Well - in fact - he offers a magnetic ring which
   he promises will bring you a life ever-lasting -
   and at $25 per ring - it is a good deal.

   Kiss his ring and count the cash:

@ 4: Mahir - Squeeze his box

   We already know he wants to kiss you but did you 
   know that Mahir Cagri was set up by a friend -  
   who designed the page featuring Mahir paying an
   accordion and wearing  red speedos  - as a joke.    Ha ha.

   A few million email forwards later, and Mahir
   was touring America with a novelty single. 

   Poor old chap - he's gone from obscurity back to 
   obscurity quicker than Bubble from Big Brother.

@ 3: Kok Wee - Man Utd Fan

   Kok Wee (Cock Wee?) loves football, badly
   animated graphics, and Liz Hurley.

   His site proved so popular, that the corporate
   portal football365 have signed him up as a
   columnist - and thankfully they've kept his
   'unique' spelling.


   365 Column

@ 2: Wo-Hen Nankan - Prince of ponces

   He looks like a lady boy with who forgot to
   shave, and describes himself as a "Genius of
   Asian Rock".

   Too bad he's a fake, with Wo Hen Nankan
   meaning "I'm really ugly" in Chinese.

   Love you long time, 10 dollars.

@ 1: Danni Ashe - look at her gash

   The Guinness Book of Records proclaim Danni as
   the web's most downloaded woman. 

   She celebrated her billionth download, on
   December 5th last year.

   She's giving you what you want, you filthy
   little bastards.

   Read an interview:

   Have a wank:


  Then b3ta wants to hear from you. Go on, don't
  be shy - send your site to [email protected]


  Lucy - cheap jokes
  Fraser - http://www.blogjam.com/

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