NEWSLETTER: ISSUE 104: "HITLER OR SHITLER. CAN YOU TELL?"
This Week:
* QUIZ - Hitler or shitler?
* PHOTOS - Tranny grandad
* ANIM - Lemur simulator
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___/ _ |/_ </ __/ __ | "We're saving the
__/____/____/\__/_/ |_| web ... together"
B3ta email 104 - 12 Sept 2003
Read this issue in your browser:
http://b3ta.com/newsletter/issue104/
Subscribe: [email protected]
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Chuffing nora. Writing a baby b3ta last week
means that we have a bloated fat newsletter
this week for your link hungry gullets. Feast
your senses. For this is the best the web
has ever seen.
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: WHAT B3TA PEOPLE HAVE BEEN MAKING THIS WEEK #1
>> Hitler or Shitler <<
Quiz time. Can you tell the real führer from
the imposters? "Really it's just an excuse to
see which actors have Hitlered it up for the
camera," confesses Dr A.
http://ashen.users.btopenworld.com/fof/fof.htm
>> Lemur simulator <<
"The sound of the lemur in the wild is 'blah
blah blah'" claims a wildeyed oCo. The proof,
he says, is here:
http://www.oco-is-here.com/lemurama/flash/lemur_bl...
>> Shaolin student sandwich <<
Slagmaster and his friend Liam have made a
sandwich. This charming video showcases their
culinary and martial arts prowess. Hooray for
student kitchens.
http://makeashorterlink.com/
>> Weebl Monkey song <<
Jonti has made one of the best Weebl and Bobs
in a while. It features a posh singing monkey.
You'll be singing the lovely catchy tune all
afternoon.
http://www.weebl.jolt.co.uk/anywhere.htm
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: THE HUMAN ZOO
People we'd like you to meet
>> Tranny Grandad <<
Trousers are evil. This man knows the score.
And - like us - he chooses to show his disdain
in an array of fetching skirts.
http://albums.imff.net/hamish
>> Singing boxer lady <<
Yeke Yeke is a woman of many talents. She
sings. She boxes. She sings while she boxes.
She's a TV human interest story waiting to
happen. (We recommend clicking the first video
link, it gets good about a minute in.)
http://www.hcbx.com/yeke/downloads.asp
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: WHAT B3TA PEOPLE HAVE BEEN MAKING THIS WEEK #2
>> New City Creator <<
Lovely flame-haired Denise Wilton has been busy
crafting a medieval theme for her and Cal's city
construction site. Go play - it's pretty.
http://www.citycreator.com/build.city
>> Sympathy implants <<
"Do you have the impression that the disasters
of the world do not touch you anymore?" asks
Unbehagen. "WiFi-SM is the solution!"
http://www.unbehagen.com/wifism
>> Lego cheese <<
Buxton writes, "Sorry guys, but that Ween
cheese animation was pretty poor. Here's
one I made later." We almost hate to say it,
but this is very good.
http://www.paprikash.com/chris/cheese.avi
>> International Pirate Day <<
It's nearly time for this year's International
Talk Like a Pirate Day. Come September the 19th
you should finish all your sentences with "Yarr!"
The official UK HQ is run by boarders Tedious,
Mushroom and Mictoboy
http://www.yarr.org.uk/
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: B3TA HALLOWEEN PARTY
31st October 2003, London.
Not only are we great links delivered every
Friday, we're also your friend, your drinking
thirsty boozy friend.
Come to our party and get rat-arsed with us.
http://www2.b3ta.com/party/halloween2003.gif
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: SITES IN BRIEF
Stuff we like that wasn't made by our mates.
>> Am I hotter than Hitler? <<
Nazi uniforms are always a hit with the ladies,
but facial hair perhaps not. A guy stuck his own
picture and Adolf Hitler's onto Amihotornot and
compared the results. Very revealing.
http://www.space-ninja.com/hitler/
>> GW Bush 'made of arse' - official <<
We all remember Photomosaics, things like Bob Marley
made of thousands of spliff pics. Well, this one is
the US president made out of anus. Next week - Bin
Laden made of cunts.
http://www.artofresistance.org/bush_mosaic/
>> Gravedar <<
Imagine a fantastic future where you can read
gravestones with your Palm Pilot. That future
is now. Rejoice! Not compatible with PalmPC
or gravestones '98.
http://www.gowerconsultants.com/preras.htm
>> So... do those knob-growing pills work? <<
This man has decided to systematically test
the manufacturer's claims. So far the results
are inconclusive. We can't tell whether this
is a promotion or not. But hey - we liked
reading it.
http://thepill.blogs.com/
>> Stealth Disco <<
Guns and monkeys are the best things in life.
But the third best thing is dancing frantically
behind an unsuspecting colleague or friend.
http://69.49.199.91/best_of.asp
>> Pole-dancing bloke <<
We enjoyed reading this story of a chap who
fitted a pole-dancing pole in his own home.
It was supposedly a present for his
girlfriend but he wound up enjoying it more.
http://www.mypole.co.uk/history.htm
>> Big things. Yay. <<
Big things are great. So are little things.
That's what our doctor told us. She's a lady,
not a homosexual. This is a collection of huge
Australian things. Strewth.
http://www.alphalink.com.au/~richardb/page4.htm
>> Mean-spirited cartoon corner <<
A quick gag. Gave us a laugh. Perhaps you too.
http://www.shitflap.com/img/UVWXYZ/weekend.jpg
>> R2D2 on the Lambert & Butler <<
Shocking footage from the 70s shows the
dimunitive Star Wars droid indulging a habit
for cancer sticks. Probably what stunted
his growth.
http://www.lucasfan.com/swtv/com4a.html
>> Lesbo snogs will destroy America <<
We thought there was nothing left to say
about the Madonna's publicity-seeking
lezzer antics at that thing that she was
at. But we were wrong. So wrong.
http://www.livejournal.com/users/slithytove/235704...
>> At home with Hitler <<
In 1938, Homes and Gardens magazine published
a feature called "At home with Hitler," detailing
his mountain retreat. Our mind boggles at
the blandness of the copy. (And hey, that's our
third Hitler link in one newsletter. This
must be some kind of record.)
http://wow.blogs.com/photos/hitler/h1.html
>> Trippy tile toy <<
We've been contemplating suicide, but this
has helped us prolong the agony of life on
earth with its beguiling combination of
art and special maths.
http://www.scienceu.com/geometry/handson/kali/
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: B3TA IMAGE CHALLENGE
Results from Viking Challenge
Each week we run a competition to test your
creative skills. We set a challenge and you
open Photoshop and mess with our heads.
Last week we wanted pictures of Vikings because
they are deeply cool:
http://b3ta.com/challenge/vikings/
We asked b3ta boarder Lora to judge the
entries - here are her 3 faves.
Lora writes -
#1 "Don't be fooled - the look on the cat's
face was almost enough for me, but the
attention to detail makes this hard to
resist." (Dr Phil Womble-Kitten)
http://b3ta.com/board/1919634
#2 "Untitled - one of several by this contributor
and I think it's wonderful." (The_Kaiser)
http://b3ta.com/board/1935027
#3 "Moooo - Just plain lovely. It's simple but
beautifully executed." (Electech)
http://b3ta.com/board/1929376
"Can I have the almost obligatory special
mention too? This musical epic by popt_art
is fantastic."
http://www.apxe15.dsl.pipex.com/babs.html
>> This Week's Challenge <<
This week, b3ta contributor Darryn.R gave us
the suggestion, "'shop the Police"
http://b3ta.com/challenge/police/
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: WHAT HAPPENED NEXT?
Follow-ups on previous stories.
* BADGER WORLD DOMINATION - everywhere we've
looked this week has been linking to Jonti's
badger animation: Forums have been filled with
"badger badger badger badger" threads and fan
art has been made in abundance. Buy the
cash-in t-shirts and CDs here:
http://www.cafeshops.com/weeblbadger,weeblbadger2
* BOOMSELECTION NIGHT - long term newsletter
readers will remember The_Dr with his once
regular MP3 bootleg reviews. He writes, "I'm
running the first BOOMSELECTION club night
this Tuesday as part of the music industry
conference In The City. Please come."
http://boomselection.info/boomselection-flyer-big....
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: STAR IN NEXT WEEK'S ISSUE
Make something cool and tell us about it. If
you are in it then people will see your stuff.
Things we'd really like to see include
* SEXIMOS - We've been hearing big things
about Eskimo porn. (Ladies rubbing noses
with seals and fucking blubber.) We can't
find it. Can you?
* GAMES - you lot have been slack recently.
We've had lots of animation, but we would
really like to see your games.
* CRANK CALLS - are you receiving crank phone
calls? Are they funny? Please record them,
put them online and send a link to us.
Send contributions to http://www.b3ta.com/mailus/
BTW: If you've sent something in that hasn't
been featured then don't be put off - we look
at everything you send us. Every last bloody
link.
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Subscribe: [email protected]
Unsubscribe: [email protected]
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THANKS:
This issue was edited by Rob Manuel with
David Stevenson.
Links sent in by Kathryn Drumm, seekew,
retard/luffwhores, SirSandGoblin,
*not logged in*, The Boy T, foetalyouth,
Burvs, iron5ide, Fergus McVey, acidbathed
and Jamspoon.
Top Tippery from Moz.
Additional linkage by Fraser Lewry.
Board research by Fnord.
Image challenge handled by Mike Trinder.
Proofing by the S.S. b4ta bitches. (69826)
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HANDY TIP:
If you're standing a bit too far away from
your car and you want to lock/unlock the doors
with your "fob", simply press the end of the
fob into your chin and press the button.
You'll turn your body into a huge antenna and
increase the range of the fob to hopefully
unlock your doors.
