NEWSLETTER: ISSUE 105: "CARS ARE STUPID"
This Week:
* ANIM - New song from Jonti "Badger" Picking
* PHOTOS - Stupidest car mods ever
* B3TA RADIO - Tune in on Friday, 4pm GMT
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___/ _ |/_ </ __/ __ | "We're saving the
__/____/____/\__/_/ |_| web ... together"
B3ta email 105 - 19 Sept 2003
Read this issue in your browser:
http://b3ta.com/newsletter/issue105/
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: WHAT B3TA PEOPLE HAVE BEEN MAKING THIS WEEK
Weebl, Sheep, Cars, Bananas and David Blaine
>> Stupid Weebl song <<
"I've made a philosophical animation about the
true nature of things", writes Weebl. Hmm. We're
not sure about that, but we do know that it's
a very catchy tune.
http://www.weebls-stuff.com/toons/22/
>> Scary sheep game <<
"I've made a game", bleats electech, "it
involves poking sheep. It's called Poke-a-Sheep."
Like Zombie Holocaust, but with sheep.
http://eclectech.co.uk/poke-a-sheep.php
>> Retarded car mods <<
Cars look better with spoilers. Fact. But maybe
some people go too far. Stupidnorthernmonkey
has been collecting the worst car modification
pictures in the world. Best car? The Ford
Fiesta with huge shocks.
http://www.stupidnorthernmonkey.co.uk/
>> Live! Nude! All banana action! <<
Ever wanted to see a banana fire a ping-pong
ball out of its 'special area'? Well, perhaps
next week. But while you're waiting, enjoy
this stupid banana splits skit.
http://www.eclectech.co.uk/bananastrips.php
>> Dave Blaine game <<
Piss monkeys - have we been inundated with
Blaine links over the last few weeks.
We've had flashmobs, Blaine wanking photoshops,
and something about sausages. We spared
you from the lot. But we're giving you Brian
Mung's game, because we like the death scene.
http://www.brianmung.com/blainegame.htm
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: B3TA RADIO
4-5pm GMT, 104.4FM, London, UK.
For the last eight weeks we've been running
a cheeky hour of radio on Resonance FM.
You can listen on the radio in the London
area or via the web on the Resonance site.
We've held off mentioning it as, frankly,
we're not too sure that their servers could
stand up to a newsletter assault. Here's
hoping you can listen.
http://www.resonancefm.com/audio.htm
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: LINKS YOU CAN'T AVOID
Stuff that's been all over the web this week
>> We want your soul <<
How much is your soul worth? This question
has been spinning about the web this week.
Our soul is only worth $13,000 for we
are base sinners.
http://www.wewantyoursoul.com
>> Anglegrinderman <<
We featured parody activist Anglegrinderman
back in issue 91 of the newsletter. It took
The Sun newspaper to pick up the story and
turn him into a real star. Every other link
we've been sent this week has been about
this guy. Yay him.
http://www.anglegrinderman.com/
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: SITES IN BRIEF
Stuff we like that wasn't made by our mates.
>> Motorbike funerals <<
When we die we want a webcam in our coffin
to broadcast our decomposition. Not
everyone agrees. These guys offer a motorbike
sidecar hearse service. Apparently it's
'what dad would have wanted.'
http://www.motorcyclefunerals.com/
>> Pedal pushing porn <<
Nothing gets us hotter than watching grown
men stepping hard on the gas. Thank God
that there's a website servicing our needs.
Next week: zit-popping porn.
http://www2.b3ta.com/mirror/pedalporn/
>> Time travel <<
Imagine a man travelled from the future to
collect an old PC to help solve a tech crisis
in 2038. Imagine not - for it's already happened.
Read his compelling story. BTW: World War III
is set for 2015. You've got 12 years to learn
some survival techniques.
http://www.johntitor.com/
>> Plane landing game <<
Can you land the plane? We can't. Use the
cursor keys to fly about, the plane descends
automatically as you go. It's all a question of
timing. A simple idea and well executed.
http://www.severin.ch/krassair/
>> Shooty death anim <<
If John Woo made flash movies he'd be making
this. It's genius on a stick.
http://www.newgrounds.com/portal/view.php
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: B3TA IMAGE CHALLENGE
Results from the 'Shop the Police' Challenge
Each week we run a competition to test your
creative skills. We set a challenge and you
open Photoshop and mess with our heads.
Last week we wanted pictures of the police:
http://b3ta.com/challenge/police/
We asked B3ta boarder 'Sue Denham' to judge the
entries - here are her 3 faves.
Sue writes -
"Although most of the entries consisted of pigs
wearing helmets, there were some fine pics to
be found this week:
#1 "NARC Squad - hee hee hee. Still laughing
at the stupidness of this one. (Zak McFlimby)
http://b3ta.com/board/1960307
#2 "Well Harris? - this wins the special "cute"
prize this week. The WPC on the right is
especially fab. (Ashurek)
http://b3ta.com/board/1982720
#3 "Whoop Whoop - They should issue these jackets
for real. They'd get a little more respec' from
the streets. Or something." (matsimpsk)
http://b3ta.com/board/1963496
"Special mention should also go to Manic for
this ridiculous Google search."
http://b3ta.com/board/1961676
>> This Weeks Challenge <<
This week, the Challenge Dictator returned,
wanting us to make things dance:
http://b3ta.com/challenge/makethemdance/
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: WHAT HAPPENED NEXT?
Follow-ups on previous stories.
* TRANNY GRANDAD - last week we featured a
middle-aged gentleman in a skirt. He's
got in touch to point out he's not either a
transvestite or a grandad. His email is
actually rather sweet. Read it here:
http://www.b3ta.com/board/1996539
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: STAR IN NEXT WEEK'S ISSUE
Make something cool and tell us about it. If
you are in it then people will see your stuff.
Things we'd really like to see include
* YOUR OWN FEAT OF ENDURANCE - like David
Blaine, e.g. how long can you wear the
same pair of pants?
* HOME WIRING FOR DUMMIES - Green wire = Live
Blue wire = Earth, Red/Black wire = Neutral.
That's right, isn't it?
* NEW PORN - we've seen elf porn, headphone
porn, monkey porn, crusher porn and plushie
porn. Is there something out there
that would surprise even us?
Send contributions to http://www.b3ta.com/mailus/
BTW: If you've sent something in that hasn't
been featured then don't be put off - we look
at everything you send us.
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THANKS:
This issue was edited by Rob Manuel with
David Stevenson and Weebl.
Links sent in by RWD1983, Chaz & Marc.
Additional linkage by Fraser Lewry.
Board research by Fnord.
SINWI from Slim and Hugo Rune.
Tippery from someone whose name we lost
but called us "Dear fluffy b3ta people."
Image challenge handled by Mike Trinder.
Proofing by the salty b4ta dogs. (70273)
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HANDY TIP:
To prevent your coaster from sticking to the
bottom of your glass/cup/beverage holder, just
dip a wet finger in salt and rub it on the
bottom of said beverage holder.
