NEWSLETTER: ISSUE 2: KILL YOUR FRIENDS, DOG SHIT AND PARANOIA
"it's the fish that John West reject that makes John West
the best"
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Subscribe: send blank mail to B3TA issue 2
[email protected] 27 July 2001
In this issue:
Kill your friends, dog shit and paranoia.
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WHAT YOU SHOULD DO THIS WEEK
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::: KILL YOUR FRIENDS
We've made a fantastic new game. You upload a
picture of your friend, and you shoot the shit
out of him with a big gun:
You can put in your boss, and look cool by sending
it to your mates so everyone can compete to see who
can kill him most. Or you could do it with George W.
Or you could put in a monkey. Or a stoat.
Hell, you can put in anything you like! Wa-hey! It
generates a unique url for every game so they're
easy to send round.
Basically, it's the most unpleasant tool for
spreading hate and anger ever devised.
Your friends hate you. You hate them too. We know.
Fuck them over with a big fuck off gun.
To start to you off, here's one we made earlier:
(with jeffrey archer)
http://b3ta.com/kill/g.php
To create your own:
http://www.b3ta/kill
::: CHECK YOUR DOG'S EGGS FOR CASH
Swedish dogs shit money. It comes out a bit yellow
and smelly, but usable.
Take a look at your dog's arse to make it rich.
http://news.excite.com/news/r/010724/08/odd-sweden...
::: MAKE MONEY FROM DOG JUICE
A company has made posters that smell of dog urine.
dogs are attracted to the posters and their owners
have to stand there looking at the ad. Why not
make yourself more attractive to other people by
urinating on yourself?
http://media.guardian.co.uk/advertising/story/0,74...
::: SET DOGS ON PEOPLE
Why not buy an attack dog and train it to kill?
Think of all the fun you could have setting it
on strangers.
http://www.dogowar.co.uk/
::: BE PARANOID
Marketers are paying young beautiful people to lie
about how nice things are to get you to buy them.
Never believe anything anyone says. Especially if
they're being nice. They are being paid to lie and
deceive.
http://www.nytimes.com/2001/07/15/magazine/15PHENO...
(requires free registration to read)
Also satellites can read your mind. Not ours. We
wear tin foil on our heads.
http://english.pravda.ru/main/2001/07/14/10131.htm...
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WEB STUFF WE LIKE
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::: STICKMAN SHOOT 'EM UP
This is absolute genius. We are in awe. Visually
stunning, really playable, this is how web
games should be (apart from our ones of course).
http://groups.yahoo.com/group/b3ta/files/xiaoxiao_...
This is a progression from the stunning stick man
death kung fu animations done previously. If you
missed it before, you can see the kung fu here:
http://games.sohu.com/fightgame/fight3.swf
::: SINGING DICTIONARY
Music is shit these days. Instead of making crap,
everybody should be taking old classics and putting
bored electronic voices over midi versions. Anarchy
in the UK keeps all of its original aggression, and
then some:
http://www.dictionaraoke.com/
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SHYTEGEIST
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::: YOUR MOBILE EATS MONKEYS
Great apes could soon become extinct. They are being
eaten for tea. Apparently it is largely down to
people mining for mobile phone chips in the jungle
or something.
Celebrate with a chimpanzee head christmas bauble:
http://www.europeanchristmas.com/pk4/store.pl
Why eat chimps when you can get someone's head for
tea?
http://www.guardian.co.uk/uk_news/story/0,3604,491...
::: SEX
Not getting laid? Why not make origami porn? It's
better than the real thing.
http://underground.zork.net/
Or pay for a root, and have top trump fun with the
trading cards
http://www.jezuk.co.uk/cgi-bin/view/jez/prostitute...
::: ON THE BLOB
Vanessa Tiegs paints pictures with her menstrual
blood. We think she should do a sculpture called
"Red Mouse" involving a used tampon in a cage. Now
that would be real art.
See her gallery here:
http://www.spiralingmoon.com/gallery/dark/darkinde...
Prince Phillip declares boy "too fat to be an
astronaut":
http://www.ananova.com/news/story/sm_361096.html
This story was from Ananova. She's dead sexy. We
managed to take this behind-the-scenes
photo of her with her boobs out.
http://groups.yahoo.com/group/b3ta/files/anonova.j...
If you have any ananova porn, send it to us at
[email protected]
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FIN
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B3ta is a collective dedicated to celebrating weird
creative shit on the web.
::: CONTACT US
Leave a message on our board. we'll reply within 24
hours.
http://www.b3ta.com/board/1/board.html
::: CONTRIBUTORS THIS WEEK
Joel http://www.rathergood.com/
Rob http://www.tsluts.com/
Dave http://lagrange3.blogspot.com/
Mark McDonald http://www.tokisip.com/
Alexi http://www.gaywap.com
Fraser http://www.blogjam.com
David http://www.fluffgirlwax.com
Want to contribute? Then post on the message board
or send an email to [email protected]
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In order to combat global warming New Zealand farmers are
to be subject to a flatulence tax.
