NEWSLETTER: "CHIROPRACTORS ARE BOGUS SPINE WIZARDS, SUE US IF YOU DARE"
This Week:
* STUPID FIGHT - Who's got the dumbest followers?
* CUNT! - B3tan calls Cameron a cunt on ITV. YAYS!
* SOME KIND OF MUSIC QUIZ THING - yes, believe it
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___/ _ |/_ </ __/ __ | "We're saving the
__/____/____/\__/_/ |_| web... together"
B3ta email 424 - 16 Apr 2010
Read this issue in your browser:
http://b3ta.com/newsletter/issue424/
Subscribe: [email protected]
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: SPONSORED LINK
Industry Trust
Every time you buy a cinema ticket, DVD,
Blu-ray disc or legal download your money goes
back into the film and TV industry. Without
your support there would be fewer great films
and shows. Thanks for helping make the movies.
http://snurl.com/copyrightisace
>> Sponsor B3ta <<
Want this space? Then talk to us.
http://b3ta.com/mailus/
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: WHAT B3TA PEOPLE HAVE BEEN MAKING THIS WEEK
Lots of bloody stuff woo hoo
>> Rephotography project <<
"I've been finding vintage photos of Epsom and
reshooting them." blurts wjh31. Eventually we'd
like to see a world-wide google map of this.
It'd be like having a browser-based time
machine.
http://epsomandewellrevisited.co.cc/
>> Stupid Fight <<
Kudos to Tom Scott, who has used SCIENCE to
create a tool that determines whose Twitter
followers are the most stupid. We've been
amusing ourselves with pitching our friends
against each other. Also @labour @conservatives
and @libdems.
http://www.tomscott.com/stupidfight/
BTW: Tom is also standing for Parliament. You
should vote for him.
http://www.madcapntom.co.uk/
>> Pop Ularity <<
"Here is my music quiz site," chirps @echodeck.
"It's a mashup of last.fm and Brucie's Play
Your Cards Right." Can you guess which group is
the best (ie. most popular)?
http://pop.ularity.co.uk
>> Where Internet Hate Comes From <<
"We've always loved this site for being hugely
supportive of our web work," confesses
tedriley74. "Recently Channel 4 finally trusted
us to make sketches for the TV. Apologies for
the plug - but we're very excited about it and
thought we'd share the joy! Love you!" Well
done, you guys - don't forget us now you're
television millionaires! Oh, their show starts
19th April, 11:35pm C4.
http://www.funnyordie.co.uk/videos/bacc487c0a/excl...
>> Grand Theft Paedo: Vatican City <<
"I just made this last night", writes
chrisError, "I think it's funny, you know it
has Child Abuse in it and you play an ex-Nazi
Youth Religious Leader, that's all funny yeah?"
We got a couple of cheap laughs out of, but
then we're catholic paedophiles too.
http://www.kill5.com/game.php
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: QUESTION OF THE WEEK
Buzzwords
Last week we asked you about the language that
annoys you - personally we hate Facebook status
updates that say sh!t and frickin' heck. Either
don't swear or swear properly - this halfway
house only makes us annoyed.
Looks like a it was a popular subject for
debate - over 1000 replies.
http://www.b3ta.com/questions/buzzwords/
* Calling the letter H 'haitch' rather than
'aitch' = nasty and common. ( Bob Todd )
* The misuse of the figure "4" to stand for
"for". It's a horrible trend. (Enzyme)
* English or English (UK) - via Sexy goat buman.
* "There's no 'I' in 'teamwork'" ... to which a
sotto voice from the back replied: "Aye, but's
there's a 'u' in 'cunt'." (Scaryduck)
>> This Week's Question: Advertising <<
We'd like you to tell us about your favourite
TV ads. Which is a nice fluffy subject and
hopefully a respite from the crushing
negativity of moaning about language.
http://www.b3ta.com/questions/adverts/
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: AND SPEAKING OF ADVERTISING
a Sponsored linky for a Facejacker
Never trust a man in a mask. The serial wind-up
merchant returns with brand new comedy
Facejacker – Fri 10pm Channel 4:
http://snurl.com/facejackeryeah
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: SITES IN BRIEF
Stuff we like that wasn't made by our mates
>> B3tan calls David Cameron a cunt on ITV <<
An accidental broadcast of a facebook comment
gets egg on his face, and we're just proud that
such people post on our site. *wipes tear from
eye*
http://www.b3ta.com/talk/6774926
>> Parent-child 5-minute drawing <<
Awesome and yet lovely site, where families
send in stuff they've very quickly drawn
together. Mostly superheroes and dinosaurs.
http://5minutemarvels.wordpress.com/
>> Lava lamp centrifuge <<
Experiment to see whether a lava lamp would
work in the heavier gravity of Jupiter. The
real story though is that they built a massive,
meccano centrifuge in the front room! Very
brave.
http://neil.fraser.name/hardware/centrifuge/
>> Porn Detector <<
Pop this stick in a computer and it will tell
you if there is now, or has ever been, any
pornography on the hard drive. Only works on
photos though, so your Jedward slash stash is
still safe.
http://snurl.com/pornstick
>> Babies in pumpkins <<
Tiny, cute children photographed the instant
they hatched from the baby-fruit. For that is
where babies come from.
http://snurl.com/pumpkinbaby
>> For all your sound effects needs <<
A one-stop shop for all your internet novelty
sound requirements. Includes instantrimshot,
sad trombone, "it's a trap!" & many, many more.
This incredible website is not available in the
shops but exclusively via clicking:
http://instantsfun.es/
>> Ease your pedant pain <<
Amusingly-written and illustrated post on
visualisation techniques to ameliorate your
discomfort as an internet grammar pedant.
http://snurl.com/alotisbetter
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: VIDEO SCHMIDEO
The chatroulette partner that never clicks next
>> Creepy kids TV <<
Canadian children's TV from the 1970s. It's all
fine and above board but, holy crap, that
presenter looks so dodgy!
http://snurl.com/thatsaprettyname
>> Windows XP error music <<
If only all system failures were this melodic.
But nowhere near as long.
http://bit.ly/9lihBi
>> Standing Cat IN BOOTS <<
Sequel to last week's triumphant cat meme - this
wins ONE MILLION INTERNETS!
http://www.b3ta.com/links/Standing_Cat_IN_BOOTS
>> "Hand Skills Game" prank <<
Brilliant trick to try on someone down the pub.
If you can pull it off and film it, it's
fantastic.
http://www.b3ta.com/links/Hand_Skills_Game_prank
>> Desktop skateboarders <<
Cut-out skateboarders do tricks for your
amusement in this cute, lo-fi offering.
http://www.b3ta.com/links/Decent_Skateboard_Animat...
>> Star Wars Uncut - The Escape <<
Completed scene from the total Star Wars
reshoot project. Volunteers get 15 seconds of
the movie to film any way they choose. Why not
try taking acid and watching this?
http://www.b3ta.com/links/Star_Wars_the_escape_Unc...
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: FUNNY NAME CORNER
ha ha ha ha ha ha ah ah aha HA!
Laugh? We nearly started, but actually that was
because of the brilliant comment of twitter
describing last night's election debate as
"worst Kraftwerk gig ever" but if you like your
chuckles a little less politilol then grimmmy
writes, "I know I know, you hate the section
but, well, the masses like it. I found Dr Dick
Chop. 'Dr. Richard (Dick) Chopp is well known
in the Austin community for performing
Vasectomies.' Really?"
http://www.urologyteam.com/
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: B3TA IMAGE CHALLENGE
Opposite Signs
Think laterally, and give us alternative
versions of classic signs or
instructions, using antonyms. Doesn't
make sense? More info at
http://www.b3ta.com/challenge/oppositesigns/
>> Ongoing Challenge: The Election <<
Four challenges that we'll keep open until
election day. Then we'll make some
funky graphs out of the entries - as
we'll have our own anti-election of
mockery. Who will be the most mocked?
http://www.b3ta.com/challenge/generalelectionphoto...
http://www.b3ta.com/challenge/generalelectionphoto...
http://www.b3ta.com/challenge/generalelectionphoto...
http://www.b3ta.com/challenge/generalelectionphoto...
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: WHAT HAPPENED NEXT?
Follow-ups on previous stories.
* BRAZLLIAN TRANNY - "She's deaf," points out
TDub, "That's why she sounds so odd. I don't
know what she's saying, though." OK, we feel
bad now. Although it doesn't explain why she
keeps on repeating the same thing.
http://snurl.com/omgweirdvoice
* SWITCH OFF MODERN COMMS - Tim C points out,
"An off switch for modern communications? Well,
almost. This one doesn't kill your mobile, but
everything else. It's big and red and you'll
find it on your fuse-board, marked off..."
* MURDER VIRUSES, we had a reply to this from
someone much cleverer than us.
http://pastebin.com/q2rLZg8n
* SWEDEMASON VS RICHARD MADELY - Swede writes,
"got an email of Jack Madeley today saying his
dad had sent him a link to the mash up.
Apparently they were pissing themselves. At
least he didn't do a Schofield on me, which is
good of him." A Schofield is like a golden
shower, only more silver.
http://www.youtube.com/watch
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: FRIDAY GAME
Oldie but goldie: Desktop Tower Defence
Due to some recent client work we had to get
our heads round a pitch that included the
phrase "Desktop Tower Defence meets..." and
although we'd played it a little bit when it
came out, we thought it was time to really get
to grips with it. Oh my fucking God - been so
addicted this week that we're seeing little
moving arrows with life bars when we close our
eyes. If you've avoided this addiction then be
warned, don't start now.
http://snurl.com/desktoptdpro
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: STAR IN NEXT WEEK'S ISSUE
Make something cool and tell us about it. If
you are in it then people will see your stuff.
Ah fuck that, instead we're changing our name
to "tick here to validate card" and standing
for parliament - here's our manifesto.
* ALL CARS TO BE BANNED FROM LONDON - and let
it be a push bike paradise.
* THE UNDERCLASS BE GIVEN AS MUCH DRUGS AS THEY
WANT - so they don't keep robbing people to get
more.
* A REPEAL OF DEBILL - and free miaow miaow for
every child.
Send contributions via the mail form.
http://www.b3ta.com/mailus/
BTW: If you've sent something in that hasn't
been featured then don't be put off - we look
at everything you send us.
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Subscribe: [email protected]
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THANKS:
This issue was written by Rob Manuel with
David Stevenson. Stuff sent in by JackAction,
Erythrocyte, Mushroom, Sir Sand Goblin,
@DY357LX, herman :D, PointlessCamel, mugwump,
Michelle Obama's Stalker, dewie.
Additional linkage and image challenge by
Fraser Lewry.
Subjlols via emvee.
Mike Trinder is QOTW bloke.
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If God had a sense of humour, he would have
written "I wish my wife was this dirty" in the
sky by now. (Winston McCooney)
http://www.sickipedia.org/
