NEWSLETTER: ISSUE 64: "WHEN CO-WORKERS ATTACK"
This Week:
- Pregnant Quiz
- When co-workers attack
- Cannibal Sex Barbie photoshoot
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___/ _ |/_ </ __/ __ | "We're saving the
__/____/____/\__/_/ |_| web ... together"
B3ta email 64 - 08 Nov 2002
Read this issue in your browser:
http://b3ta.com/newsletter/issue64/
Subscribe: [email protected]
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: PREGNANT OR OBESE?
Can you tell?
AndyK has spent all week typing "pregnant
woman" into the Google image search. He's a
pervert. But the benefit is that he's made us
this lovely quiz.
Look at these pictures of ladies and use the
power of your brain to decide if they are
up the duff or simply fat. It's good practice
if you have a chubby girlfriend.
http://www.b4ta.com/plumpbump/
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: ANAL RETENTIVE OFFICE TRICKERY
When co-workers attack
Is there someone in your office who gets
stressed if anyone touches their stuff?
Jonathan Worth has such a colleague - over
the last couple of weeks they've been winding
him up more and more...
Read his email - the photo is priceless.
http://b3ta.com/desk/
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: DRAWING THING
Bored? Make your own entertainment
Tomsk has taken time out from his day job
selling pharmaceutical drugs to corporations,
in order to bring you this smashing arty toy.
Draw a picture with your mouse and submit to
the gallery.
You can draw a cock! Or anything! It's that
powerful!
http://tomandphil.myby.co.uk/drawing/
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: WHAT B3TA PEOPLE HAVE BEEN MAKING THIS WEEK
Barbie mods, 3D golf, Rubbish cyber sex
>> Cannibal Sex Barbie photoshoot <<
Chad has taken a couple of Barbie dolls and
added some plasticine. The result is horrific,
but oddly erotic. We whacked one out, no worries.
http://roundersound.com/weird/index.htm
>> Crazy Golf Game <<
Dogegg has a proper job. He makes games
for the BBC. They are normally good - but this
one is stunning.
http://www.bbc.co.uk/choice/games/games/shootingst...
>> Bad cyber sex <<
Chatrooms aren't just about weirdos hanging
around talking about sex. Oh, OK, yes they are.
Looks like MooHappyNoodleBoyMoo has been having
a nice time.
http://members.lycos.co.uk/sickandtwistedmind/Chat...
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: SITES IN BRIEF
Stuff we like that wasn't made by our mates.
>> Sex toy computer accessory <<
The latest attempt to get girls to play
computer games is the 'Trance Vibrator' which
er.. vibrates in time to the action. Read
this hands-on review. As it were.
http://tinyurl.com/2h1q
>> Swearing Xylophone <<
We can't believe that we didn't make this. And
we so wish we had. It's a xylophone and it
swears. What could be better?
http://www.limmy.com/playthings/xylophone/
>> Kidnapping as an extreme sport <<
Snowboarding not exciting enough for you? Why
not pay some American hillbillies to kidnap
you. We have. Oh - is that the door?
http://www.extremekidnapping.com/
>> Marijuana in Pop Music <<
The influence of cannabis on music is
undeniable. This in-depth article explores
dope references in music through the century.
http://www.ukcia.org/potculture/references/records...
>> Soy Sauce cartoon <<
We think we've found our Japanese cousin.
He likes condiments and dramatic music.
We like him.
http://yoga.tripod.co.jp/flash/kikkomaso.swf
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: B3TA IMAGE CHALLENGE
Results from the 'Kept in Storage' Challenge
Each week we run a competition to test your
creative skills. We set a challenge and you
open Photoshop and mess with our heads.
Last week we wanted to see items that museums
have had to keep in storage rather than show:
http://b3ta.com/challenge/keptinstorage/
We asked B3ta boarder 'Banana' to judge the
entries - here are her 3 faves.
Banana writes -
#1 "Mein Kampf - Ha! Ha! Ha! Look, this entry
is still making me laugh now. Well-done sir,
subtle and effective. (Maels)
http://b3ta.com/board/4/5/4/8/1/7
#2 "Venus de Milo, the truth - Creative thinking
makes this cheeky little entry worthy of
second place. Educational too. (doo_monkey_doo)
http://b3ta.com/board/4/6/1/7/1/0
#3 "Deep in the vaults in the Vatican - Clever,
and funny. Laugh? I nearly crucified myself."
(nevermind)
http://b3ta.com/board/4/5/3/8/2/9
>> This Weeks Challenge <<
This week, we decided to go all old-skool and
get people to play with a picture of an animal.
B3ta contributor 'monkeon' gave us the suggestion,
"Photoshop an Ostrich"
http://b3ta.com/challenge/ostrich/
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: WHAT HAPPENED NEXT?
Follow-ups on previous stories.
* B3TA PARTY - it was excellent. Loads of people
came and drank £1,500 worth of booze, that's
£5 per minute. If only the landlord would give
us a cut. We're holding a Christmas one on the
19th of December in the same place. Expect a
flyer next week.
* CELEBRITY CRIME SQUAD - Joel from rathergood
writes, "I had the most bizarre experience
last night. We went out for a drink at the
Lock Tavern in Camden. The producer of the TV
show I'm working on got her handbag nicked,
and collared the girl who stole it. The girl
made a bolt for the door, and I ended up with
Will MacDonald and Sara Cox helping to
restrain her until the police arrived."
* NAME THAT OTHER BABY UPDATE - In issue 55
we asked you to help An-D come up with a name
for his imminent child. He says, "Baby Alex
was born on the 23rd of Oct at lunchtime,
weighing 6lb 15oz. Alex was actually 4th place
after Andrew, Weebl and Dexter." Check out
An-D's site - he's been blogging his new
fatherhood.
http://www.roguetrooper.net
* INEXPLICABLE MATRIX COW - last week we linked
to a video of a kung fu cow. We didn't know
where it originated. We do now. It's from the
American movie, "Kung Pow - Enter the Fist."
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: SEND US YOUR CASH
Keep B3ta alive with a small donation
If you enjoy reading this newsletter - then
please help pay for it by donating a small
amount to our fund.
We promise to only spend your money on costs
we incur in running B3ta. Oh, and a Trance
Vibrator.
http://www.b3ta.com/features/appeal/
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: STAR IN NEXT WEEK'S ISSUE
Make something cool and tell us about it. If
you are in it then people will see your stuff.
Things we'd really like to see include:
* More photos of you playing pranks on
people in the office. Maybe with knives.
* An answer to this question, "Why do cats
like eating earwax?" Go on. Try it.
* Your usual projects and animations.
Send contributions to http://www.b3ta.com/mailus/
BTW: If you've sent something in that hasn't
been featured then don't be put off - we look
at everything you send us.
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THANKS:
B3ta newsletter was edited by MC Rob Manuel
with David Stevenson on the wheels of steel.
Link props to Fraser Lewry, haddock.org, Weebl,
James Milligan, Brian Hersey, and Jon Stroud.
Image challenge toasted by Mike Trinder.
And nuff respec' to the Halloween party
DJs, Mark 'DLT' McDonald, Bart 'the hat'
Mcdonagh, Ed 'Lemur' Smirnoff, Elliot
'Judge' Reuben, Braces 'run out of stupid
nicknames' Tower. Decoration bling from Lucy
Reese with Cal, Pep & Blogjam.
Face Painting by Leah. Projector unit
taxed from the BBC. One love to
Mark McDonald for sorting out all the
equipment. You da bomb.
Mad shouts out to the cow spotters, Geekess,
James Kane, Jeff Watkins, NX-01, *Mexomorph*,
James Kosmatka, Necro, Darren Beck, Adam Blauer,
HairyEric, Jim Dinger, Dan (BOON ARMY Cadet),
Colin Bauer, David Alexander McDonald, MD23,
Miss Julie, Russell Purdy, Teridactyl,
HappyLittleVegemite, Doug Wayman, John Field,
Jeffrey Martin, Heather Sazama, Ils, Nut Graf,
Linus Ingoldsby, Clare Cochran, Neil, Tony
and Lady Miss Kier. She's a lady.
Proofing by the heavy heavy b4ta massive.
Peace and we out. (51586)
