Patchy Pink 'n Black (Painted Dog)When I were a younger lad than I am now, I had a pet dog named Shep. He was a patchy type black and white dog, and it's of this patchy whiteness that I write now...
Shep was a strange but happy dog. His life was a good'n; he'd regularly leggit off to the local pig farm and have his wicked way with the pink 'n smelly lovelies! This we know because of the locals telling us of how they'd witnessed the events of their afternoon involving dog, pigs, and farmer - which must surely point a pig finger in the local's moral direction...?
Shep had a green nob, too, which he thought was a great show for the visitors.
Anyway, one day (when Shep wasn't visiting the local pigs/farmers' boot) I happend to glance a red watercolour board marker, and in that same infinate instance I happened to notice that the dog was in fact black with white patches.
As children so oft equate the world around them, I chose the sum 'Red Felt Marker + White Patchy Dog = Better Looking Dog'.
I sat and coloured Shep from head to paw and tail in Red, and then discovered that Red and White do actually make Pink.
So, for a few hours thereafter my dog sat in a room full of relatives happy in their tea drinking and food munching and telly watching, whilst all the time they had the nagging feeling that something was a bit odd with the dog... yes, it's pink and black! I had waited for almost 3 hours before someone piped up, there's something wrong with the dog.
Sadly, my dog ran away a couple of days later; still pink and black.
BUT, if dogs do see in black and white only... why did my dog know it was pink? It must've known cos it buggered off a few days after...
(Shep was a strange but happy dog. His life was a good'n; he'd regularly leggit off to the local pig farm and have his wicked way with the pink 'n smelly lovelies! This we know because of the locals telling us of how they'd witnessed the events of their afternoon involving dog, pigs, and farmer - which must surely point a pig finger in the local's moral direction...?
Shep had a green nob, too, which he thought was a great show for the visitors.
Anyway, one day (when Shep wasn't visiting the local pigs/farmers' boot) I happend to glance a red watercolour board marker, and in that same infinate instance I happened to notice that the dog was in fact black with white patches.
As children so oft equate the world around them, I chose the sum 'Red Felt Marker + White Patchy Dog = Better Looking Dog'.
I sat and coloured Shep from head to paw and tail in Red, and then discovered that Red and White do actually make Pink.
So, for a few hours thereafter my dog sat in a room full of relatives happy in their tea drinking and food munching and telly watching, whilst all the time they had the nagging feeling that something was a bit odd with the dog... yes, it's pink and black! I had waited for almost 3 hours before someone piped up, there's something wrong with the dog.
Sadly, my dog ran away a couple of days later; still pink and black.
BUT, if dogs do see in black and white only... why did my dog know it was pink? It must've known cos it buggered off a few days after...
steponfrog dribblygreenstuffdriblingfrommynoes,
Tue 21 Oct 2003, 5:32,
archived)
Two amusing storiesabout pets that aren't mine.
First up, my girl friend (note the space gents) at Uni had a boyfriend who's friend (sigh) had a budgie that was a stoner. This guy was one of the biggest smokers around and used to constantly puff ganja smoke at the poor thing for months. In the end, the budgie got so messed up that it used to fly round and round in circles for about fifteen minutes, then forget what it was doing, and drop straight out of the air as it tried to remember. Poor thing died a while later; funny thing was, it used to get withdrawal symptons too, and get agitated when he wasn't smoking.
The second story is with a friend whos parents have two cats, one called Alfie. This cat is like the Mafia Don of cats, it's enormouse, black, and dangerous.
If you come in from the back garden of his parents house, you have a door with a catflap leading into a tiny utility room, with another connecting door with a catflap. These doors are straight after one another, and about six foot apart.
One day, something spooked Alfie in the garden (presumably a visit from the Triad cat from down the road, I kid you not; it's like gang warfare down there), and he came running in through the catflaps.
Unfortunately, as he's a bit lardy, he managed to negotiate the first flap okay, but took the second one with him round the house, trailing bits of wood. Took them ages to get hold of the daft thing and pull it over his head.
Happy days :)
(,
Tue 21 Oct 2003, 9:01,
archived)
First up, my girl friend (note the space gents) at Uni had a boyfriend who's friend (sigh) had a budgie that was a stoner. This guy was one of the biggest smokers around and used to constantly puff ganja smoke at the poor thing for months. In the end, the budgie got so messed up that it used to fly round and round in circles for about fifteen minutes, then forget what it was doing, and drop straight out of the air as it tried to remember. Poor thing died a while later; funny thing was, it used to get withdrawal symptons too, and get agitated when he wasn't smoking.
The second story is with a friend whos parents have two cats, one called Alfie. This cat is like the Mafia Don of cats, it's enormouse, black, and dangerous.
If you come in from the back garden of his parents house, you have a door with a catflap leading into a tiny utility room, with another connecting door with a catflap. These doors are straight after one another, and about six foot apart.
One day, something spooked Alfie in the garden (presumably a visit from the Triad cat from down the road, I kid you not; it's like gang warfare down there), and he came running in through the catflaps.
Unfortunately, as he's a bit lardy, he managed to negotiate the first flap okay, but took the second one with him round the house, trailing bits of wood. Took them ages to get hold of the daft thing and pull it over his head.
Happy days :)