ok, jenny, oh god where to beginSince the moment i saw her when i moved schools to do my A levels (i didn't get the grades to carry on at my grammar school) i was utterly smitten by her. My first instincts were that i didn't have a hope in hell, but i was encouraged by some of my new friends, so i asked her out, and the date was postponed twice, then forgotten about. I forgot about her briefly, before i made a new friend who is very much like myself, who i found out happened to be one of her closest friends, and gave me a chance to get to know her.
So, i get to know her, and although i tried to be subtle, it became pretty evident i fancied her, although she was seeing someone else at the time. By the end of year 12, we were reasonably good friends, but she failed all of her AS levels and left the sixth form, presumeably never to be seen again. To my amazement, i walked in on the first day of the next school year to find her sitting there, eager to tell me how much she had missed me and how she was repeating the year. Sort of like me being given a seccond chance at what i would like nothing more than. Over this last year, we've grown to become best friends, although it's evident she isn't attracted to me, she really does like me as a person and will make it well known whenever the subject comes close to being raised. Recently, while we were talking about first impressions of each other, she happened to mention that if i had been persistant when i had first met her she would have definately ended up going out with me and been quite happy, but ever since she lost three of her best friends in two months by sleeping with them and hating them for various reasons afterwards, she has decided that she can't risk loving me back because she likes me too much as a friend. Tonight, she made it perfectly clear by her actions that he no longer cares if i fancy her or not, she just needs me as someone to be there for her and accept her for who she is and what she does, a situation that if i explained in more depth, you would understand would be the final message to say that nothing CAN ever happen.
For this, i am drinking enough rum to make a post this long and personal on a board where nobody cares. Bloody love, it hurts so much more to never get a chance to show than when it is shown and shot down as i have experienced before.
(sory for the extremely long post, but just typing this all up has been thebest way to clear my mind and i feel immeasureably better for it. all i need hnow is for someone to post a link to 'this is not your blog')
(So, i get to know her, and although i tried to be subtle, it became pretty evident i fancied her, although she was seeing someone else at the time. By the end of year 12, we were reasonably good friends, but she failed all of her AS levels and left the sixth form, presumeably never to be seen again. To my amazement, i walked in on the first day of the next school year to find her sitting there, eager to tell me how much she had missed me and how she was repeating the year. Sort of like me being given a seccond chance at what i would like nothing more than. Over this last year, we've grown to become best friends, although it's evident she isn't attracted to me, she really does like me as a person and will make it well known whenever the subject comes close to being raised. Recently, while we were talking about first impressions of each other, she happened to mention that if i had been persistant when i had first met her she would have definately ended up going out with me and been quite happy, but ever since she lost three of her best friends in two months by sleeping with them and hating them for various reasons afterwards, she has decided that she can't risk loving me back because she likes me too much as a friend. Tonight, she made it perfectly clear by her actions that he no longer cares if i fancy her or not, she just needs me as someone to be there for her and accept her for who she is and what she does, a situation that if i explained in more depth, you would understand would be the final message to say that nothing CAN ever happen.
For this, i am drinking enough rum to make a post this long and personal on a board where nobody cares. Bloody love, it hurts so much more to never get a chance to show than when it is shown and shot down as i have experienced before.
(sory for the extremely long post, but just typing this all up has been thebest way to clear my mind and i feel immeasureably better for it. all i need hnow is for someone to post a link to 'this is not your blog')
Yeknom. Incontinence and Premature ejaculation? Easy come, easy go.,
Sat 21 Aug 2004, 0:55,
archived)
i'll condense it for youi love jenny
she's my best friend
she says she'd go out with me if i wasn't so close to her
ergo: lots of drinking
(she's my best friend
she says she'd go out with me if i wasn't so close to her
ergo: lots of drinking
Yeknom. Incontinence and Premature ejaculation? Easy come, easy go.,
Sat 21 Aug 2004, 1:09,
archived)