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# ***Squeeze musical intro***
I never thought it could happen.
With me and the girl from Rackhams.
Her face was full of make-up.
She always smelled so fragant.
I asked what her name was,
She told me it was Paula.
I said 'I'd like to date you,
But I wish you were taller'.

She told me she was kneeling,
and I could have hurt her feelings.
But really she was 6'2,
So did i think that would do?
I jumped over the counter,
I fell and looked up at her.
I said 'Let's be together',
And she said 'Yes, forever'.

We dated for a few months,
And everything was rosey.
I'd walk her back home from work,
We'd dine and then get cosy.
One night from out of nowhere
She said those magic 10 words.
'I've brought some lubrication,
I want it up, the junction'.
(I helped save b3ta! Professor Fnord Regius Professor of B3ta Chronology, Wed 8 Jan 2003, 16:43, archived)
# Jury duty keeping you busy then?
Woo, by the way.
(I helped save b3ta! Baz Fuck off, Wed 8 Jan 2003, 16:45, archived)
# I wish everyone would stop pleading guilty
they don't even give me a chance.
(I helped save b3ta! Professor Fnord Regius Professor of B3ta Chronology, Wed 8 Jan 2003, 16:50, archived)
# Idea: try looking less fierce
them might try pleading hinno-sent
(I helped save b3ta! Captain Nostril, Wed 8 Jan 2003, 17:08, archived)
# oh dear
those last couple of lines were totally unexpected. I made a funny snorting noise.
(I helped save b3ta! Craymen, Wed 8 Jan 2003, 16:45, archived)
# In Amsterdam
I took a tram.
Inspired.
(I helped save b3ta! Shakmaaaaa!, Wed 8 Jan 2003, 16:45, archived)
# How's that for dedication?
Can't make pics, so does textual b3tations...

Give the man a Wagon Wheel someone!

I smiled, 'twas a wry smile that shows I know exactly what it means while at the same time allows me to plausibly deny knowing.

Edit: VVV LOOOOOOOOOK!
(I helped save b3ta! JustHere4Coffee remembers when all o' this were car parks, Wed 8 Jan 2003, 16:48, archived)
# Sell out!!
Actually, I wonder if I could get brand name sponsorship for my name.

o-> Thousands of impressions a day.
o-> Through the night service.
o-> Dedicated team of support staff.
(I helped save b3ta! Professor Fnord Regius Professor of B3ta Chronology, Wed 8 Jan 2003, 16:52, archived)
# Sell-out? Moi?
Nah, I just decided to be honest for a change - I haven't drunk coffee for 10 years, I find it loathesome stuff... :-)
(I helped save b3ta! JustHere4Coffee remembers when all o' this were car parks, Wed 8 Jan 2003, 16:55, archived)
# fan-tan-ban-man-lan-tastic
that was great, i was singing that inside of my head.
(I helped save b3ta! Thor_sonofodin has done things, terrible things on, Wed 8 Jan 2003, 16:55, archived)
# WOO's YAY all over the original
.
(I helped save b3ta! Captain Nostril, Wed 8 Jan 2003, 17:01, archived)