Sick of being second on the label to his sibling
Julio left his henchmen specific instructions in his will as to what to do with his brother Ernest.

It's what Ernest would've wanted, probably, and at 97 it was his time soon anyway.

EDIT: :oP The posting borked it somehow, fixed

From the 2007 Obituaries challenge. See all 240 entries (closed)

( D'artisan is frustrated by character limitations. FaceTwat?, Sat 30 Dec 2006, 14:36, archived)

How about a picture, D'artisan?

( mediocre FISTING FULL THROTTLE, Sat 30 Dec 2006, 14:37, archived)

Whoops there it is
I had to look up who he is

Ernest Gallo is the hard-charging patriarch of the family-owned E&J Gallo Winery in Modesto, California. The company is the largest winemaker in the world, and the producer of several popular brands including Carlo Rossi wines and Bartles & Jaymes wine coolers. It is also a political powerhouse which over the years has given millions of dollars to candidates of both parties. For all its success, the business has in some ways kept a low profile. Eighty-six year-old Ernest Gallo gives few interviews and the winery offers none of the tours and tastings found at other California vineyards.


( mediocre FISTING FULL THROTTLE, Sat 30 Dec 2006, 14:41, archived)

Nice hat ;oP
Meh, I thought the text would cover the fact 'Ernest' and 'Julio' are two brothers of the wine business. Seems not :o/

Look! OMG! A man in a bottle!!!

runs away
( D'artisan is frustrated by character limitations. FaceTwat?, Sat 30 Dec 2006, 14:46, archived)

haha

( mediocre FISTING FULL THROTTLE, Sat 30 Dec 2006, 14:51, archived)

Your image
is invisible!
( Ubergeist is no longer Arkwright., Sat 30 Dec 2006, 14:37, archived)

It's all done with ropes and mirrors, I tell ya

( mediocre FISTING FULL THROTTLE, Sat 30 Dec 2006, 14:39, archived)

SPAGHETTI!!!!
Apostrophe's Soup!!

In the thames?!

and now it makes even less sense

This is a call for ris, will ris please appear
( discomeats COME BACK MOGGY! FOR GREAT JUSTICE!, Sat 30 Dec 2006, 14:37, archived)

( mediocre FISTING FULL THROTTLE, Sat 30 Dec 2006, 14:42, archived)

yay
that should be a propper internet standard

that streams things to your desktop that make no sense!
( discomeats COME BACK MOGGY! FOR GREAT JUSTICE!, Sat 30 Dec 2006, 14:43, archived)

my desktop would be cluttered in five seconds
as a lot of things on the websites I go to make no sense at all
( mediocre FISTING FULL THROTTLE, Sat 30 Dec 2006, 15:04, archived)

Hmm, some ris'ing on the idea behind it it seems
...sod it, forget who the person is, it's a bloke in a bottle! :o)
( D'artisan is frustrated by character limitations. FaceTwat?, Sat 30 Dec 2006, 14:44, archived)

with the above explanation
all is explaineded

which is nice
( discomeats COME BACK MOGGY! FOR GREAT JUSTICE!, Sat 30 Dec 2006, 14:50, archived)

that's fucking genius
Now all we need is an image
( Jeccius 3DS friend code 4897-6337-7123, Sat 30 Dec 2006, 14:39, archived)

I must say I'm a little confused.
Edit: Hahaha, lovely.
( Walrus Man Think hippy thoughts, Sat 30 Dec 2006, 14:39, archived)

Hahaha
but ewwwwww! at the little bit of bald head sticking out the top.
( C-Bean on, Sat 30 Dec 2006, 14:43, archived)

Hehe
I quite liked that. He's like a human bottle-stopper :o)
( D'artisan is frustrated by character limitations. FaceTwat?, Sat 30 Dec 2006, 15:02, archived)