![[challenge entry]](/images/board_posticon_c.gif "Challenge Entry: Photoshop for World Peace"){kind=small}
For all you tree-hugging skiers out there it's a...
I really need to sleep now, never been a fan of hummus anyway...
From the Photoshop for World Peace challenge. See all 362 entries (closed)
(, Sat 1 Feb 2003, 6:16, archived)
a tree hugging skiier?that's gotta be painful!!
I hope they wear proper protection for their boobs/balls.
www.alpineadventures.co.uk/AAimages/abilitylevels.jpg
(I hope they wear proper protection for their boobs/balls.
www.alpineadventures.co.uk/AAimages/abilitylevels.jpg
Professor Fnord Regius Professor of B3ta Chronology,
Sat 1 Feb 2003, 6:18,
archived)
I got you babe... No you aint...Isn't that how Sonny Bono bit the big one?
Note: There's not actually any trees on my post. Oops. My bad.
(,
Sat 1 Feb 2003, 6:21,
archived)
Note: There's not actually any trees on my post. Oops. My bad.
I like how it's a green slope because those are supposed to be the easy ones so people will start at the top unawares.
I went down a black slope on my 3rd day ever on skis, I was skiing with the school on a trip and we'd had a day to learn and a day to practice and then we went right to the top of the mountian on the 3rd morning but we had to go down a little part of the black slope to get to the blue slopes we were heading for, maybe 1 or 2 red ones if all went well.
Anyway we were using the snowplough turn to go down the slope very very slowly in a snake fashion, but I messed up one of my turns and didn't turn enough and started to head towards the next bit of the snake down. I turned to avoid running into someone in the snake who'd already made the next turn and was coming back across below and that left me heading paralell straight down the black slope, picking up speed like no mans business.
(I went down a black slope on my 3rd day ever on skis, I was skiing with the school on a trip and we'd had a day to learn and a day to practice and then we went right to the top of the mountian on the 3rd morning but we had to go down a little part of the black slope to get to the blue slopes we were heading for, maybe 1 or 2 red ones if all went well.
Anyway we were using the snowplough turn to go down the slope very very slowly in a snake fashion, but I messed up one of my turns and didn't turn enough and started to head towards the next bit of the snake down. I turned to avoid running into someone in the snake who'd already made the next turn and was coming back across below and that left me heading paralell straight down the black slope, picking up speed like no mans business.
Professor Fnord Regius Professor of B3ta Chronology,
Sat 1 Feb 2003, 6:29,
archived)
did you leave a cliffhanger ending on thereas a wry and artfully subtle joke?
warrappened?!
(warrappened?!
djol,
Sat 1 Feb 2003, 6:31,
archived)
jeez-louise....Can't you read it? He picked up speed like no man's business!
(,
Sat 1 Feb 2003, 6:34,
archived)
that's what i meancould he slow down? if he slowed to to less than 50 mph, would the bomb in his parka go off? did it all end in a spectacular triple salko with a half pike and a perfect landing?
( djol,
Sat 1 Feb 2003, 6:38,
archived)
sorry I got distracted - checking the stats on the website for last month. - nearly 55Gig! and no nasty e-mails from blueyonder. I'll should be able to top 100 this month maybe ;)Well I had the full kit - a couple of ski poles, goggles etc. Because it was a black slope in the couple of seconds it took to realise what had happened I was already going too fast to just try a controlled falling over.
I did the only thing I could, my instincts took over and I tucked down and went for it!
Full on downhill 40 + mph or whatever the normal speed is for a black slope.
It was fantastic, the slope wasn't a moghuls one thankfully, we'd been on a Red one that had a big field of them near the bottom the day before. So I was fine, no looking back, not that I could have anyway. I was flying!
Then I saw the end of the slope was coming.
(I did the only thing I could, my instincts took over and I tucked down and went for it!
Full on downhill 40 + mph or whatever the normal speed is for a black slope.
It was fantastic, the slope wasn't a moghuls one thankfully, we'd been on a Red one that had a big field of them near the bottom the day before. So I was fine, no looking back, not that I could have anyway. I was flying!
Then I saw the end of the slope was coming.
Professor Fnord Regius Professor of B3ta Chronology,
Sat 1 Feb 2003, 6:51,
archived)
oh man oh manthis is like those black and white serials they used to show on early morning tv.
"tune in, next time....."
*ahem* warrappened?
("tune in, next time....."
*ahem* warrappened?
djol,
Sat 1 Feb 2003, 7:04,
archived)
It levelled off with a hook around to the rightAs I was coming down towards the end having reached terminal velocity I saw that if I didn't turn to carry on with the levelled off bit, which then went into another slope, I would be heading up this 'snow dune' and behind it all I could see was solid rock, I'd passed high above these particular rocks on the chair lift ride up to the top with my feet dangling into the abyss, so I knew how perilious they looked.
I was going faster than i'd ever been before under my own steam so I had no idea about stopping distances or anything, or how to stop other than just waiting until I've slowed down enough to do some snow plough turns and come to a stop. I surmised that I was most likely heading up the dune and I was going to launch off it eddie the eagle style and go slamming into the cliff.
(I was going faster than i'd ever been before under my own steam so I had no idea about stopping distances or anything, or how to stop other than just waiting until I've slowed down enough to do some snow plough turns and come to a stop. I surmised that I was most likely heading up the dune and I was going to launch off it eddie the eagle style and go slamming into the cliff.
Professor Fnord Regius Professor of B3ta Chronology,
Sat 1 Feb 2003, 7:06,
archived)
Still running on instincts...I just 'went for it' and tried to pull a parallel sliding stop a la Ski Sunday, only this was as I was starting to go up the dune, those people normally have a nice flat surface to do it on and loads of practice.
Anyway my subconscious is clearly quite staggering because it worked out all the physics and I actually did it. Spot on. Perfect decelleration curve, not a wobble or a shake - I just slidsideways up the dune and came to rest at the apex - seeing that in fact the cliff was a long way away and if I had flown off the top i'd have had a snowy landing.
I had the biggest grin on my face ever and I so wish someone had caught it on film. I didn;t even have to move my skis to balance to stand up properly. I just skidded to a stop, and I was facing pretty much straight up the Black slope now and could see how HUGE it was. And I couldn't make out where the others were at first because they were just little dots, I only recognised the snake shape of them and then I had to wait a good 15 minutes before the arrived at the bottom, and they all expected me to have crashed out somewhere. I did get a few appreciative 'woos' from some other skiiers who'd been further down the slope and passed while I was waiting for the rest of them to catch up.
The End.
(Anyway my subconscious is clearly quite staggering because it worked out all the physics and I actually did it. Spot on. Perfect decelleration curve, not a wobble or a shake - I just slidsideways up the dune and came to rest at the apex - seeing that in fact the cliff was a long way away and if I had flown off the top i'd have had a snowy landing.
I had the biggest grin on my face ever and I so wish someone had caught it on film. I didn;t even have to move my skis to balance to stand up properly. I just skidded to a stop, and I was facing pretty much straight up the Black slope now and could see how HUGE it was. And I couldn't make out where the others were at first because they were just little dots, I only recognised the snake shape of them and then I had to wait a good 15 minutes before the arrived at the bottom, and they all expected me to have crashed out somewhere. I did get a few appreciative 'woos' from some other skiiers who'd been further down the slope and passed while I was waiting for the rest of them to catch up.
The End.
Professor Fnord Regius Professor of B3ta Chronology,
Sat 1 Feb 2003, 7:17,
archived)
that#s coolhe's come a long way from such humble beginnings
( Professor Fnord Regius Professor of B3ta Chronology,
Sat 1 Feb 2003, 7:25,
archived)
just thinkat this very moment, he could be clawing his way through someone's sofa
( djol,
Sat 1 Feb 2003, 7:36,
archived)