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NEWSLETTER: "HAPPY 2013TH BIRTHDAY, AMERICA!"

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This Week:
* DOGS - pushing a tiny shopping trolley
* TRON - in sort of real life
* TITANIC - in bad Japanese

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____/  _)|_  // /_/ _ |  "We're saving     
___/  _ |/_ </ __/ __ |    the web...
__/____/____/\__/_/ |_|      together"

B3ta email 588  - 05 JUL 2013

Read this newsletter by decoding word-shapes with your brain:
http://b3ta.com/newsletter/issue588 

 Pop-pop :  b3ta-subscribe@yahoogroups.com
   Stop-stop : b3ta-unsubscribe@yahoogroups.com
  
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: SPONSORED LINK
  Kobo ereader

   After leaving our kindle on the bus we got a
  bit depressed then we found that you could get
  a Kobo for around £30. It's not as good as a
  Kindle, but it does basically do the job and
  you won't feel upset when you lose it. Also it
  plays Sudoku which is better than reading
  anyway.
http://www.amazon.co.uk/exec/obidos/ASIN/140053271X/b3ta-21   


  >> Sponsor B3ta <<
  Want this space? Then talk to us.
http://b3ta.com/mailus/


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: WHAT B3TA PEOPLE HAVE BEEN MAKING THIS WEEK

  >> The Haunting Secret of London Bridge <<
  "I'm continuing my slightly odd series about
  London," intones DefyingDarwin. File under
  'disturbing lies to tell tourists'.
http://bit.ly/15k43tQ


  >> Graham Murkett DIY comedy masterclass <<
  Slow-talking comedy guru somegreybloke teaches
  us how to entertain, in the absence of
  professionally-crafted comedy. Let's hope it
  never comes to that.
http://b3ta.com/links/1027388


  >> How can you live with yourself? <<
  The answer, according to Black Moon and Clone
  Black Moon, is "it can get annoying" because of
  your inconsiderate doppelganger.
http://b3ta.com/links/Living_with_yourself


  >> Plasticine Carnage! <<
  "War, HUH! Good God y'all, What is it good for?
  (absolutely nothin')" shouts handymartian.
  "Here is an animation I made. It's a
  stop-motion-tastic, all out battle between two
  arch rivals on Planet Six."
http://b3ta.com/links/Plasticine_Carnage


  >> "Cursery rhymes" <<
  "My friend and I decided that the overall moral
  of the Gruffalo was that you could lie your way
  out of any situation, and that this wasn't a
  very good lesson to teach a young child," writes
  Furness. "This lead to a bet being made that I
  couldn't write one. I wrote six." NSFW.
http://www.amazon.co.uk/exec/obidos/ASIN/B00BLMD800/b3ta-21 


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: QUESTION OF THE WEEK
  Yum!
  
  We wanted the best thing you'd eaten. We got
  your attempts at recreating junk food:
http://b3ta.com/questions/foodporn/

  Here are our top three incomprehensible dishes:

  * Purple sweet potato and bits of rehydrated
   glutinous rice with hoi sin sauce and some
   peanut butter - if anything it looked worse
   when I mixed it up. (Zuowan)
http://bit.ly/1aJh30h

  * The KFC Double-down - so bad you have to
   ask for it specially. (Airman Gabber)
http://www.b3ta.com/questions/foodporn/post2005157

  * The Meatenburg Cake (riverghost)
http://www.b3ta.com/questions/foodporn/post2001483


  >> This Week - LUCKY ESCAPES <<
  Come close to death, serious injury or Simon
  Cowell, but got away? Tell us about your lucky
  escapes:
http://b3ta.com/questions/browntrousers/


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: SITES IN BRIEF
  Stuff we like that wasn't made by our mates

  >> Pretend your monitor is a tank at Sea World <<
  Relaxingly pointless waste of time - killer
  whale swims after your mouse.
http://bit.ly/1bS8MTY


  >> Strange but true: Tron on an Apple ii <<
  Novice programmers accidentally create a game
  character that can actually escape into the
  computer's memory. True story, by the way, so
  it doesn't exactly launch World War III.
http://bit.ly/3xAGvp


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: VIDEO SCHMIDEO
Look again, the LOLs are just tiny squares

  >> Titanic translated into Japanese and then back <<
  The great romance film of our times is parsed
  through a crappy online translator and then
  re-enacted by amateurs. Extremely moving.  
&#8207;http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ds2Ai6HAo7Y


  >> Dog pushing along another dog <<
  No, they aren't having sex - why would your
  mind even go there?? This is absolutely
  adorable and involves a tiny toy shopping
  trolley. D'aww.
http://www.b3ta.com/links/Ah_Bless


  >> Exceptionally awkward phone prank <<
  Genuinely cringe-making, as a guy is tricked
  into explaining his porn collection to his mom
  - extraordinary stuff.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_ul4Wympi3I


  >> Bubble football <<
  This is the kind of football we can get behind
  - everybody enclosed in huge, transparent
  bubbles, so we don't get our teeth accidentally
  kicked out by someone far too sporty.
http://www.b3ta.com/links/My_kind_of_football


  >> History of film aspect ratio <<
  Interesting jaunt through film geekery,
  examining why today's movies look the way they
  do.
http://vimeo.com/68830569


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: UsVsTh3m
 The "other" project some B3tans are running

  * 9 worst things about Twitter and 9
  unrealistic ideas on how to solve them. World
  sorted and put to rights.
http://usvsth3m.com/post/54594593408/9-worst


  * Sicktionary speaking quiz - guess the
  euphemism, spoken aloud by extraordinarily rude
  voice synth. Or, if you have no sound, play the
  nail-bitingly tense Timed Mode.
http://sicktionary.usvsth3m.com/quiz/?speak


  * Drawing cocks on the Social Pollen Count.
  Poor Benadryl, their user-generated content
  page quickly got out of hand.
http://usvsth3m.com/post/54422626640/dear-benadryl


 We do a daily email of this shit - sign up.
http://bit.ly/ZizxOD


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: B3TA IMAGE CHALLENGE
  Results from the Movie Quotes Challenge

  Last week we wanted you to picture movie
  quotes using pictures without quotes

  Your favourites included:
 
  * SLAVES: bewildering Mexican pet food 
  gladiatorial mashup (VicBrown)
http://www.b3ta.com/board/10977217
 
  * MAFIA: elusive pop-up renders proposal
  rejection tough (monkeon) 
http://www.b3ta.com/board/10978233

  * COPS: snack-based visual pun recalls
  ladder mammal moment (monkeon) 
http://www.b3ta.com/board/10978497
  
  All these images, and the highest as voted by
  you can be found here:
http://www.b3ta.com/challenge/movie-quotes/


  >> New challenge: Shoes! <<
  This week's one word challenge celebrates 
  shoes, from high heels to flip flops and 
  all other types of lovely footwear. It'll 
  be brilliant. Shoes! Challenge suggested 
  by HappyToast
http://www.b3ta.com/challenge/shoes


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: WHAT HAPPENED NEXT?
  Follow-ups on previous stories.

  * SHED OF THE YEAR ANNOUNCED - "It's the
  Boat-Roofed Shed," confides shed supremo Wilco,
  and it really is a sight to behold.
http://bit.ly/1cTMeTl


  * BIONIC EAR FINAL UPDATE - "I've had a bionic
  ear for 7 or 8 months now," writes long-time
  correspondent helmsdeep. "I've put up what will
  probably be my last update up. It feels good to
  reach the end of this particular journey.
  Thanks for being nice about the blog, and
  thanks for reading and commenting. Take care of
  yourselves and each other."
http://bit.ly/16T01Ie


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: STAR IN NEXT WEEK'S ISSUE

  Make something cool and tell us about it. If
  you are in it then people will see your stuff.

  Things we'd really like to see include:

  * SET AND FORGET HAIR - getting a haircut is
  very dull. Why can't we just set a hair
  preference on a dial implanted at the side of
  our skulls and save 30 minutes every five weeks?
  
  * MEDICAL SCIENCE TO RECOGNISE THAT SOME PEOPLE
  SNEEZE IN SUNLIGHT - we're not crazy, it's an
  actual thing, mister so-called "doctor". And
  it's very serious.
  
  * A NEW KIND OF DELICIOUS UNHEALTHINESS - we
  are tired of pork and cheese, does this mean
  we're tired of life?

  Send contributions via the mail form.
http://www.b3ta.com/mailus/

  BTW: If you've sent something in that hasn't
  been featured then don't be put off - we look
  at everything you send us. Sometimes,
  admittedly, with one hand over our eyes.


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    Lugs:  b3ta-subscribe@yahoogroups.com
    Slugs:  b3ta-unsubscribe@yahoogroups.com

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  THANKS:
  This issue was written by Rob Manuel with
  David Stevenson. Stuff sent in by @bl0ke, 
  Sheriff John Bunnell, &#8207;@OliverAge24, @johnsto,
  @mattround, The Scrunt. 
  Image challenge by Fraser Lewry.
  Mike Trinder is QOTW bloke.
  Subjlols via Rafi.
  
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  TOP TIP:
  Just look here:
http://www.b3ta.com/questions/toptips/  

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