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NEWSLETTER: MARMOT ON TOAST

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This Week:
* UKIP - does the Shipping Forecast
* NOEL - Gallagher on Oasis vids
* HENRY KELLY - in his own words

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B3ta email 616  - 24 Jan 2014

Drokk this newsletter up something nasty: 
http://b3ta.com/newsletter/issue616 

   Pingu :  b3ta-subscribe@yahoogroups.com
   Bingu : b3ta-unsubscribe@yahoogroups.com
  
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: WHAT B3TA PEOPLE HAVE BEEN MAKING THIS WEEK

  >> First playthrough of Prophet Quest <<
  Reviewer Jason Basquette (aka somegreybloke)
  gets to grips with a new game that lets you
  experience what it must be like to found your
  own religion.
http://www.b3ta.com/links/1127834


  >> Beard? <<
  Beard! Beard? Beard! That's all, according
  to williamandrews
http://www.b3ta.com/links/Beard:3


  >> Mating Dance <<
  "Hot stuff," writes Butters. Grotesque, but
  oddly mesmerising.
http://www.b3ta.com/links/Mating_Dance


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: QUESTION OF THE WEEK
  Bad Smells
  
  Last week we asked for your smelliest stories.
  These ones reeked:
http://b3ta.com/questions/smells/


  * GUFF LOVE - "You know that thing where you can 
   stand the smell of your own guffs, but not 
   other people's? So you can drop the most
   rancid Guinness fart in the world and sit
   there quite happily while everyone else is
   retching? 

   "Once at work, I popped into the loo to strain
   my greens and was greeted by the smell of a
   previous occupant's sit down visit. What
   utterly freaked me out was that although the
   farty smell was clearly not my own, I could
   quite happily stand to smell it. It smelled
   like I'd done it. I'd unwittingly stumbled on
   my very own guffleganger. I am to this day a
   little disturbed by the incident."
(mictoboy)

  
  * FROG HOLOCAUST -"If the school caretaker forgets
   about the bowl of tadpoles you put on the
   nature table when he closes the school for
   Easter break, they tend to die. After 2 weeks,
   this creates a smell so odious and vile that
   the first girl into the classroom at the start
   of the new term will almost immediately vomit
   all over the floor. 

   "The next girl in can now smell dead tadpoles
   and vomit, and so a chain reaction of puking
   begins. 6 girls sent home, 4 classrooms closed
   for 2 days until the smell went away and one
   caretaker reprimanded for allowing the
   tadpoles to stay there and stink up the place."
(Smash Monkey)
  

  * DUTCH OVEN - "A friend of mine, L, has been
   seeing her other half, R, since long before I
   knew her. On one occasion, she was telling a
   group of us a story about the first time she
   and he went camping. R is lactose intolerant;
   the merest exposure to lactose means that he's
   generating foul stenches from his behind for
   hours. 

   "Unbeknownst to either of them, R had eaten
   something with milk in it at some point in the
   evening. His insides were beginning to bubble
   just as he and L turned in for the night. 'I
   don't believe in any of that race-memory or
   collective unconscious stuff,' L said, 'but I
   am Jewish; and there I was, in a dark,
   confined space, slowly being gassed...'"
(Enzyme)


  >> This Week - LITTLE MOMENTS OF JOY <<
  What's made you smile recently? We could do
  with cheering up:
http://b3ta.com/questions/momentsofjoy/


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: SITES IN BRIEF
  Stuff we like that wasn't made by our mates

  >> UKIP Shipping Forecast <<
  Beautiful work, as the chap's delivery is so
  spot on.
http://goo.gl/MKEr0B


  >> Traveling in a Boeing 747 in the 70s <<
  The 70s was very much the golden age of air
  travel, according to these amazing pictures.
  Even the economy seats seem to have had an
  extra 3m or so of headroom. Extraordinary.
http://goo.gl/wAOgLf


  >> Fake signs in London underground <<
  Old-school, but good. Guerrilla art project
  puts up legitimate-looking but sarcastic
  stickers over the top of existing London
  Underground information signs.
http://fotozup.com/fake-signs-in-london-underground/


  >> Craigslist mirrors <<
  Bloke scours the auction sites for pictures of
  mirrors. In case it's not obvious, the real
  interest is in what the keen vendor has
  accidentally allowed to be reflected in the
  product pictures.
http://craigslistmirrors.com/


  >> Man chest-Spanx <<
  T-shirts that claim to squeeze your unslightly
  man-belly into muscular shapes pleasing to the
  eye. Hmm. Seems legit.
http://theflatteringman.com/?view=preview


  >> Who is Henry Kelly? <<
  Affable daytime TV personality Henry Kelly
  tells us about himself via the medium of "Going
  for Gold" clues.
http://whoishenrykelly.tumblr.com/?og=1


  >> Me and my Spectrum <<
  Sweet, nostalgic site - children of the 80s
  pictured with their ZX Spectrums. Warning: May
  contain excessive 1980s haircuts
http://meandmyzxspectrum.tumblr.com/


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: VIDEO SCHMIDEO

  >> Noel Gallagher rips the piss out of old Oasis vids  <<
  Always good value, the older Gallagher brother,
  here in DVD commentary form.
http://www.b3ta.com/links/1126578


  >> Weird cat <<
  Skip to 0:17 for the lolz. Odd trope - so many
  cat videos are in portrait format. Don't know
  why that might be, just an observation.
http://www.b3ta.com/links/weird_cat


>> Stop-motion dystopian sci-fi <<
Amazing bit of work, apparently made by one
person over the course of four years. NSFW due to
monster dong.
http://www.b3ta.com/links/1125650


  >> YouTube Comment Reconstruction #6 <<
  We really love these - two Shakespearian actors
  re-enact a comment storm on the YouTube vid
  "Soccer Player Accidentally Slaps A Referee's
  Boobs" - and there's more than a hint of
  Shakespeare about the language, somehow.
http://www.b3ta.com/links/1126791


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: B3TA IMAGE CHALLENGE
  Results from the Zero Gravity Challenge

  Last week we asked you to celebrate 
  weightlessness

  Your favourites included:
 
  * SMUG: croissant-chewing man meme floats 
    further afield (Ya Wahat?)
http://www.b3ta.com/board/11049547

  * WEEEEEE: monochrome spaceman locates orbit and 
    hovers with hoover (amoebaboy)
http://www.b3ta.com/board/11049519

  * TRIGGER: classic comedy caper sees departed 
    thespian thwarted (HappyToast)
http://www.b3ta.com/board/11049784
  
  All these images, and the highest as voted by
  you can be found here:
http://www.b3ta.com/challenge/zero-gravity/


  >> New challenge: Putin's Olympics <<
  The Winter Olympics are almost here, and if 
  Vladimir Putin had his way he'd win every medal 
  himself. So this week's challenge is ridicule 
  him, and his silly Winter Games.
http://www.b3ta.com/challenge/putin/


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Dingos ate my baby: b3ta-subscribe@yahoogroups.com
Ringo's ate my baby: b3ta-unsubscribe@yahoogroups.com

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  THANKS:
  This issue was written by Rob Manuel with
  kindly smiles from David Stevenson. Stuff sent in by 
  joetotale, PhosphorBurnedEyes, sinisterduck, taters, 
  Tupperware Box Full of Angry Bumble Bees, H.B.Mupps,
  bill g christmas, Finite
  Image challenge by Fraser Lewry.
  Mike Trinder is QOTW bloke.
  

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  TOP TIP:
  Look. Here:
http://www.b3ta.com/questions/toptips/  


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