NEWSLETTER: DISAPPOINTING TIM BERNERS-LEE SINCE 2001
This Week:
* CREEPY - On Facebook how to be
* COCA COLA - Doesn't love Hitler
* ROBOTS - 93 years of robo-film
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________ ____ __ ___
____/ _)|_ // /_/ _ | "It's not a newsletter
___/ _ |/_ </ __/ __ | it's Russell Brand's
__/____/____/\__/_/ |_| Trewsletter"
B3ta email 652 - 6 Feb 2015
Read this issues for a good times:
http://b3ta.com/newsletter/issue652
Join the union: [email protected]
Scabs: [email protected]
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: SPONSORED LINK
An electronic Nigel Farage candle
When bored we like to type "ukip" into Amazon -
the useless tat never fails to amuse.
http://www.amazon.co.uk/exec/obidos/ASIN/B00RNHD7R...
>> Sponsor B3ta <<
Want this space? Then talk to us.
http://b3ta.com/mailus/
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: WHAT B3TA PEOPLE HAVE BEEN MAKING THIS WEEK
Making is not an euphemism
>> Seagull Skytrails <<
"I used After Effects on some footage of a
couple of seagulls," claims poochngeez. But we
know the truth: Oceanic birds are tracing
sinister sky-runes above our slumbering seaside
towns. And somewhere a deep bell is tolling.
http://www.b3ta.com/links/Seagull_Skytrails
>> Make hazelnut yoghurt with Elton John's brother <<
"Elton John's brother John John teaches you how
to make hazlenut yoghurt," explains Pig Face
Turnip. It's classic John John.
http://www.b3ta.com/links/1271772/
>> A novel in 27 hours! <<
"I am doing something very foolish this year,"
apologises CTS. "I'm attempting to write a
novel in just 27 hours. And in exchange for
donations, you can add creative input to the
finished thing - then I'll flog it online for
more charity cash." It's for Red Nose Day.
http://my.rednoseday.com/sponsor/27hournovella
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: LONDON BASH LONDON BASH LONDON BASH <<
There's another B3ta Bash. Fray Bentos
explains: "Planning another London summer bash
as last year's was such a fucking mess. Tabs
wetting himself, Spesh & Herbs waking up in a
park etc."
Sign up:
http://www.b3ta.com/calendar/event/25474
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: USVSTH3M
How long before it's USVSTH£M? Think about it
>> Dead cat wins at Twitter <<
"I bought 90k Twitter followers for my sadly
lamented dead cat for £25," boasts Ginger
Fuhrer Rob Manuel. For anyone who thinks
follower count matters. (Also featuring the
very same cat that's been on the front page of
B3ta for about 10 years, which we used to refer
to as 'the official B3ta cat')
http://t.co/m653TU2t5z
>> Would you like a job? <<
We are recruiting, both a Javascripty/HTML5 dev
and a graphicy person to make things look nice.
Sound like you? Read the full spec:
http://t.co/Y2pYoLwNet
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: B3TA IMAGE CHALLENGE
Results from the 'In Drawers' challenge
Last week you wanted to empty out the contents
of your drawers and go all Etsy on them.
Your favourites included:
* Who: The drawers in the Tardis are packed.
(monkeon)
http://b3ta.com/board/11132070
* Go for your Pun: with Big John Wayne
(Ya What?)
http://b3ta.com/board/11131801
* Witch Drawer?: found footage in the kitchen.
(monkeon)
http://b3ta.com/board/11131494
All these images, and a load more can be
found here:
http://b3ta.com/challenge/indrawers/
>> New challenge: Lies! <<
This week we want you to tell porkies.
Come up with a massive fib and show us it
in pictorial form. Or if you can't think
of your own, illustrate the terrible
untruths people have tricked you with..
http://b3ta.com/challenge/lies/
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: SITES IN BRIEF
Stuff we like that wasn't made by our mates
* WHAT HAPPENS AFTER WEBSITES? Some interesting
thoughts on the post-website future of media
from @jwherrman.
http://www.theawl.com/2015/02/the-next-internet-is...
* COCA COLA TWEETS MEIN KAMPF - Coca Cola put
out a Twitter toy that let you format your own
text. The result? For a couple of hours on
Tuesday morning, its Twitter feed was
broadcasting big chunks of Hitler’s
autobiography, albeit in the form of a smiling
banana or a cat playing a drum kit.
http://t.co/QMAA7DU757
* CARDS AGAINST HUMANITY now have a private
island. Hoorah!
http://cah.tumblr.com/post/110099027175/
* HOW TO BE CREEPY ON FACEBOOK - the best thing
we've read this week and we've read everything.
http://goo.gl/5NZbKQ
* RUBBISH OPTICAL ILLUSIONS - this caught us
the other night and really tickled us. Then
today it didn't make us laugh at all. WHAT IS
FUNNY? WHO ARE WE?
http://optillusions.tumblr.com/
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: VIDEO SCHMIDEO
Like TV but inside your computer made of pixels
* 'SPECDRUM' 80s DOC - Magical documentary about
two guys who lived the Thatcherite dream of
escaping a squat by making a drum machine.
Massively watchable 80s business doc about
making the 'Specdrum' - that at moments feels
like a 'Comic Strip Presents.'.
http://youtu.be/RVLOeINDN-Q
* 93 YEARS OF ROBOTS ON FILM - a quick history
lesson on how we've attempted to visualise
humanities successors come the singularity.
http://www.b3ta.com/links/93_years_of_robots_on_fi...
* CRAZY RUSSIAN HACKER - this week we've become
oddly obsessed with this YouTube star who isn't
even Russian and puts up endless, "you've been
doing X wrong lifehack videos" - we'd like to
confirm that at least one of his tips works - we
just got a biro working again by heating the tip
with a lighter.
https://www.youtube.com/user/CrazyRussianHacker
* 1974 STUNTMAN - it's the low-key and clearly
safety-last nature of this footage that makes it
compelling. Also the news that there's a load of
clips on the BFI site? That's something to nerd
out on later.
http://goo.gl/FdfrjI
* PIXEL-ART SIMPSONS INTRO - You might not have
enjoyed The Simpsons for 15 years but you WILL
like this pixel art tribute. We watched this
thinking this was an actual Simpsons production,
as occasionally they get artists in to
direct this bit of the show, e.g. Banksy in
2010, but no, this is purely a fan project.
http://www.b3ta.com/links/Paul_Robertsons_Simpsons...
* AMUSING SWEDISH MAGICIAN - Carl-Einar Häckner
might keep you happily diverted for 5 mins as he does
horrible things to a banana.
http://www.b3ta.com/links/Amusing_swedish_magician
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: STAR IN NEXT WEEK'S ISSUE
Make something cool and tell us about it. If
you are in it then people will see your stuff.
Things we'd really like to see include
* Some kind of joke about Graham Massey and
Sting making a record together with the
punchline "police state" except imagine it's
funny.
* Oh god - some fucker is opening a chocolate
bar cafe in shoreditch where you can pet baby
llamas. I'm dreading the thinkpieces. If we
get angry enough about it it will become true.
* Upper middle-class listicle pitch: 27 problems
only a buy-to-let landlord would understand.
Send contributions via the mail form.
http://www.b3ta.com/mailus/
BTW: If you've sent something in that hasn't
been featured then don't be put off - we look
at everything you send us.
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Vote for change: [email protected]
Spoil ballot : [email protected]
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Follow @b3ta on Twitter and win a leopard:
https://twitter.com/b3ta
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THANKS:
This issue was written by Rob Manuel with
David Stevenson. Stuff sent in by HappyToast,
sinisterduck, Pesky Young Scamp and Tusk.
Image challenge by Fraser Lewry.
Mike Trinder is QOTW bloke.
Subjlols via sandettie light vessel automatic
Tip via Baying cyber-mob
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