NEWSLETTER: ISSUE 86: "I TATTOOED B3TA ON MY ARM"
This Week:
* WEBCAM PHONEBOX - Call random people
* ANIM - Birmingham is not shit
* MENTALIST - B3ta Tattoos
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________ ____ __ ___
____/ _)|_ // /_/ _ |
___/ _ |/_ </ __/ __ | "We're shaving our
__/____/____/\__/_/ |_| plums... together"
B3ta email 86 - 02 May 2003
Read this issue in your browser:
http://b3ta.com/newsletter/issue86/
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: PHONEBOX WEBCAM
Phone this number now
Wow. This is a brilliant idea. Benjymous
has stuck a webcam in his local phonebox
and put the phone number on the web. You'll
be able to see the person who picks up the
phone on your screen!
We know sending loads of newsletter readers
over to have a look is clearly going to fuck
it up but each man kills the thing he loves,
some do it with a bitter look, we do it with
the cloying embrace of a newsletter.
http://www.freshlegs.pwp.blueyonder.co.uk/phonebox...
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DO YOU OWN A VENUE IN LONDON? We're looking
for a new location to hold our parties and
need a room that can hold about 200 people.
We can't pay much but the bar will do really
well. B3ta people drink. Oh how they drink.
Send ideas to http://www.b3ta.com/mailus/
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: BIRMINGHAM
It's not shit
"I was pissed off with Birmingham coming third
in the City of Culture vote", writes Jon
Bounds, "So I'm starting a campaign -
Birmingham: You might think it's shit, but I
like it."
We approve. To help the campaign out we've
made a Flash video celebrating the joy that
is Birmingham.
Go on - send it to a brum chum.
http://b3ta.com/birmingham/
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: "I TATTOOED B3TA ON MY ARM"
Look! People like us!
When we started b3ta we just had no idea that
people would tattoo our logo on their skin.
We don't know what to say really. Er.. except
"Blimey." Anyway, Zog is the chappy. He told
us, "If b3ta becomes uncool then I'll cover
it up with a cartoon."
Ha ha. We're in talks to sell the site to
Nestlé. The joke's on you.
http://www.zog.rmjohn.com/tattoo/
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: WHAT B3TA PEOPLE HAVE BEEN MAKING THIS WEEK
Graffiti, Cockroaches, Spectrums & Spaz quiz
>> Online Graffiti Wall <<
This is really cool. Draw a little doodle and
see it get added to an online gallery. We've
seen vaguely similar things before, but Futoria
has put this together extremely well.
There's some lovely pictures in the gallery
already. What can you do? (We did a pig.)
http://futoria.com/flawing
>> Interactive Musical Cockroaches <<
"A load of singing cockroaches have taken over
my sink", writes Jennifer Tantleff, "so I
thought I would put them to use on something.
This is my first flash anim. Hope you like it."
Yes. We do. Now do the washing up. Student.
http://pages.emerson.edu/Students/Jennifer_Tantlef...
>> Spectrum Top-Trumps <<
"Fancy a game of Top Trumps?", writes Nick
Humphries, "How about with Spectrum games?"
Yep. We do. This might not be for everyone,
but hey - we like seeing old computer game
screen shots.
http://www.ysrnry.co.uk/cgi-bin/toptrumps.pl
>> Hacker or Spacker <<
Here's the quiz we didn't dare make, the quiz
that would offend the disabled... and the
people we fear most, the people that could
bring b3ta to its knees: Hackers. This is
Russian Roulette - Internet style. If you
don't get a newsletter next week, then you
know why. So if this is goodbye, then thank
you for having us.
http://www.b3ta.com/hacker-or-spacker/
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: SITES IN BRIEF
Stuff we like that wasn't made by our mates.
>> Chubby Jedi Video <<
If you're a bit on the plump side and are going
to video tape your Star Wars fighting skills
on a school camera, remember to remove the
cassette when you're done. Otherwise people
will stick it on the internet and the whole
world will laugh at your folly.
http://www.waxy.org/archive/2003/04/29/star_war.sh...
>> The ABC of Lady Norks <<
Ok. This has got breasts in it. It's kinda
sweet tho. Although we're not sure that
Kelly Brook really has got a cup size of S.
http://www.geocities.co.jp/Milano-Cat/7098/abc.htm...
>> Nap Strap <<
We've all been there. You're on a long journey,
you nod off, you wake up with drool on your
shoulder and a crick in your neck. The solution?
Tie your head to the seat. It's a good idea
but using it would make you look like a gimp.
http://snurl.com/19pn
>> Japanese Scat Dolls - Shit For You <<
Oh god. Now we've seen it all. Sex dolls that
poop. Can the last person out please turn
off the internet? (Warning: Pop ups.)
http://gold-exp.hp.infoseek.co.jp/collecti.htm
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: B3TA IMAGE CHALLENGE
Results from the Nuns Challenge
Each week we run a competition to test your
creative skills. We set a challenge and you
open Photoshop and mess with our heads.
Last week we wanted pictures of nuns:
http://b3ta.com/challenge/nuns/
We asked B3ta boarder 'Tedious' to judge the
entries - here are his 3 faves.
Tedious writes -
#1 "Moonwalker - simply because it's funny
(chaotic_illuminator)
http://b3ta.com/board/1107737
#2 "New Cross - made me laugh out loud
(dirk gently)
http://b3ta.com/board/1107009
#3 "Roller Nun - excellent animated background
and skating action" (pippy)
http://b3ta.com/board/1105029
"I'd also like to award the 'Best Blurring'
award to Tart Monkey's flying nun, and the
'Unrecognised Genius' award to Mademoiselle
Boo for managing to post an image sideways."
http://b3ta.com/board/1107887
http://b3ta.com/board/1107710
>> This Weeks Challenge <<
This week, b3ta contributor Popt_Art gave us
the suggestion, "Curry and Cheese". No, really
she did. And we took it. Oh god why?
http://b3ta.com/challenge/curryandcheese/
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: WHAT HAPPENED NEXT?
Follow-ups on previous stories.
* GASH ON CHANNEL 4 - eagle eyed readers might
have noticed Chicago Dave and Joel Veitch's
work on Armando Iannucci's new comedy show.
Yay for them.
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: STAR IN NEXT WEEK'S ISSUE
Make something cool and tell us about it. If
you are in it then people will see your stuff.
Things we'd really like to see include
* NEW EPISODES OF CRACKER - we've watched
all the old ones. Can someone hit
Robbie Coltrane and Jimmy McGovern with
a big stick until they comply?
* COOKING TIPS - do you know any good ones?
Don't send us links, tell us your own
kitchen secrets.
* HOSTESS TROLLY HOTRODS - can you soup one
up with a jet engine?
Send contributions to http://www.b3ta.com/mailus/
BTW: If you've sent something in that hasn't
been featured then don't be put off - we look
at everything you send us.
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THANKS:
This issue was edited by Rob Manuel with
David Stevenson.
Links sent in by Weebl, Kevin Carne,
captainhazzard & djdan.
Additional linkage by Fraser Lewry.
Board research by Fnord.
Image challenge handled by Mike Trinder.
Proofing by the silent b4ta majority.
(64964)
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HANDY TIP: A way to keep spiders out of the
house: Buy a load of lemons, cut them in half
and leave in the places spiders frequent.
Apparently they hate the lemony smell of
lemons.
