Bus Attacks
One day while getting on an extremely crowded bus to go to work, I noticed an empty standing space in the back. So, being sensible of course, I stood there. Sitting next to me was a tiny, thin old lady without any particular distinguishing features, so I pulled out a magazine and read for twenty or so minutes.

Suddenly, I felt a sharp death grip on my arm, like a metal sphygmomanometer with spikes had fastened itself on my arm. Naturally, I looked down, and who do I see but the old lady grabbing my arm and swearing like her spine had lodged itself up her bony ass. "FUCK YOU get the fuck out of my FUCKING way you FUCKbitchshit etc. etc." I was too shocked to think so I tried to pry her fingers off of my arm, but she had the unnatural Superman strength all old ladies somehow acquire after age 70, so I could neither move out of her way nor fight her off.

Luckily, she was getting off at the same stop I was so we somehow made it to the bus door, her screaming at everyone the entire way and calling them all sorts of name (including a scared-looking bodybuilder) where she finally let go of my arm. I sprinted to my workplace.


Sadly, that was only the second most disturbing/frightening thing that has ever happened to me on a bus. The first was a glorious vision of the pendulous orangutangy old-lady boooooobs (they were quite long, thus the extra 'o's) of an elderly woman wearing a see-through shirt.
(lbucket, Thu 25 Jun 2009, 20:14, 1 reply)

Clicky
for Sphygmomanometer.
(kitescreech still here, Sun 28 Jun 2009, 20:21, closed)