My Grandfather
definitely classes as a bit of an eccentric, so much so that I'm not sure where to start!

He's lived on his own since my Grandmother died, and has spent a good while of that time on various 'projects'.
These have included:
* Setting up trip wires around his property, which activate cameras and lights.
* Setting up a series of lasers around his property, when he decided the wires were too obvious.
* Learning to sculpt, so that he could make a large variety of clay heads which he's realistically painted, and also arranged around his property to try and scare people off...
the defence of his home has now extended to that of a small castle.

He's just about managed to stop everyone coming to his house, but my Mother pays for a cleaner for him. This is because my Grandfather still hasn't grasped the concept of washing up, and simply uses the same pan, bowl, knife, fork, spoon and mug over and over again.
He just puts the new food on top of any remaining old food.
In order to stop the cleaner 'wasting hot water' on washing these things, he's totally turned off his hot water, and heating.

Now, my Grandfather lives in a fairly large draughty house (which he partly built himself, back in the day), and without any kind of heating the place is freezing cold. So what did he do?
Why, he went to a charity shop, purchased some electric blankets...and has sewn an outfit from them. Trousers and jacket!
He simply wanders about his house and garden, plugged into the mains by means of a large extension cord. Often in the garden, he's on his mini tractor, still plugged in.
I was fairly worried about this practice, but to show me how handy electric blankets can be he decided to give me one of the spare ones he'd bought and not sewn into clothing.
I've got it on my bed at uni, although I think I should probably take it off.
If I leave it switched on and my mobile phone goes off, then without fail I get a large electric shock.


Living in a large house on his own has left my Grandfather on the lonely side, although he'll never admit it. He's come up with an ingenious solution to that problem too...
He's Stolen a Cat.

A while ago, he was doing the rounds of his property when he came across a cat he liked the look of.
Needless to say, it doesn't take much coaxing to get a cat to snuggle up to a man clad in electric blankets and as soon as he'd picked it up he took it back to his house and locked it in. He kept it indoors for a couple of weeks, feeding it only the finest of foods and spending several hours a day cuddling it until it had learned to love him.
At this point, he REMOVED THE COLLAR, and REPLACED IT WITH ONE OF HIS OWN.
That's right, this cat wasn't a stray, it was a beloved family pet.
A few days later he got a call from someone who lived nearby,
"We think your cat Tom might be our cat Horrace. He went missing a while ago and we thought he might be dead. The children are so relieved to see him.'
My Grandfather denied all knowledge of any similar cats in the area, maintained that 'Tom' was a house cat he'd had for several years since his wife died, and then as soon as he saw the cat again, brought it to our house to 'stash it here until the heat dies down'.

Despite his ways, I love the old man to bits. Even if he will be rude when he comes round later as I'm 20, unmarried and wearing jeans!

Sorry for length, but he's been around 85 years so there are a Lot of stories to tell.
( Completely Underwhelmed, Tue 4 Nov 2008, 10:38, closed)

This is awesome
If I make it to being old, I'll end up stealing pets and setting traps.

Although children are kind of pets... Right?
( Cawl - King Of Wales, Tue 4 Nov 2008, 11:32, closed)

I have no Grandparents..
can I be adopted. I like him lots.
( Piper Alpha says "get yer feet off that there table", Tue 4 Nov 2008, 11:51, closed)

I'm cracking up at the following line.
"He simply wanders about his house and garden, plugged into the mains by means of a large extension cord. Often in the garden, he's on his mini tractor, still plugged in."

Absolutely brilliant.
(oneinthepink is at your cervix m'lady, Tue 4 Nov 2008, 12:49, closed)

I'm looking forward to being old
If only because you can engage in this sort of oddball behaviour and still be kind of loveable
(cheez is feeling ergophobic, Tue 4 Nov 2008, 13:20, closed)

I like this.
I bet that cat thought all his christmases had come at once when it got scooped up by a guy wearing an electrically-powered snuggle suit.

Gotta get me one of those :)
( Noely Noel people in my ear are telling me to stay calm, Wed 5 Nov 2008, 8:37, closed)

Aceness
Your grandad sounds ace! Although I feel a bit sorry for Horace / Tom's family :(

I'm also a bit worried that one day your grandad, in an effort to save hot water, might just jump in the bath in his electric snuggle suit. :O
(The Apeface Cherub is not a cunty-uber-cunt, Wed 5 Nov 2008, 16:10, closed)