* PFFT *I've been pretty farty all week, but 2 large helpings of sausage and lentil stew last night have really tipped things over the edge. I swear you can see these ones.
I'm here at work trying to hold them in so I (a) don't have to keep nipping to the loo like a madman and (b) don't gas half the office, but it's becoming increasingly difficult. I might rupture something if I'm not careful.
Tell us all about your own fartiness.
(
chthonic, Fri 13 Jul 2007, 14:01)
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12 years agoI was in a history lesson at secondary school, and unbeknown to me, my stomach wasn't proving to be my best friend. I had been farting all morning on the way to school and the smell was of pure rotting egg consistency, so I was holding on until the end of the first lesson.
15 minutes to go until the end, and the pressure on my stomach was immense. I was in pain and was feeling quite ill. There was only one thing for it, I'd have to let it out slowly in small blips in the hope that it wouldn't smell too bad.
So that what I did, except it wasn't one small silent but violent, but a rather loud rip followed by the sound of a bubbling swamp. To my horror I had shit through the eye of a needle straight into my boxers.
Everyone looked, laughed, and then choked violently at the smell. Within 60 seconds the classroom was engulfed with my fumes. But that wasn't my concern, I was sitting in my own liquidated faeces with a shocked look on my face.
Length? About 30 seconds after it all happened I got up and walked to the little boys room, as it trickled down the full 32 inches of my inside leg.
(, Fri 13 Jul 2007, 15:34, Reply)
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