two-day housemate
My sharehouse was devolving - I was happy to see the back of thicky, fat-arsed Jazz but Tash and I had lived together happily together for over a year, and would remain friends unto this day.

So I went on the rounds of searching/interviewing for a place. But what luck, the third place I went to was a lovely apartment - close to the city, with a pool in the complex and sharing with a girl of similar age to myself.

Saturday morning I rock over with a carload of stuff. The new girl seems overly eager to help me with my moving. Making sure that I put everything away neatly in my room. We make small talk and she tells me what terrible trouble she's had finding someone permanent. Everyone stays for only a couple of months for some reason. 'Crap' I say. 'That must suck'. Oh well, methinks, I am a nice person and am definitely looking for somewhere to live for a year or more.

Later that day, I bring over my next load. Kitchen and lounge-room stuff. As I begin to disperse some of my possessions in the lounge she starts having issues with it. 'That's not staying there is it?' Ummmm, well, yes it is. I ask if she's made space for me in the kitchen. Yes she has. One shelf. For my food, cutlery, crockery, everything. I tell her this won't be enough and she looks angry. Finally she says she'll give me one more shelf. When I say this still won't be enough she gets quite huffy. (There are about 14 cupboards in the kitchen btw).

I decide to leave it and go about unpacking the rest. But she follows me around. Everywhere. She obviously doesn't trust me or something. I'm beginning to get a bit stressed out by her behaviour and wonder who I've moved in with. But I stifle those worries as it's a great pad.

Later that evening, she also casually mentions that she's a christian, so will be at church tomorrow. She goes in the morning and the afternoon.

Ooer, I think. I would have liked it if she'd told me before I moved in, I think. i don't have an issue with religious folk per se, but perhaps some of my activities don't always gel with the christian lifestyle... I begin to worry.

At 3am I wake up, worrying about this strange new house I've moved into. Insomnia isn't unusual for me, so I go downstairs for some crappy telly and hot milk. I've barely turned the telly on when she wakes up (I don't know how - I was quieter than a mouse's fart) and joins me - unable to trust me in the lounge on my own.

She commandeers the television, and insists on watching one of those weird-arse US evangelists... then she starts telling me how when he toured Australia she went to see him in concert and how great it was. She starts to tell me about his wonderful teachings...

I'm starting to freak out excessively at this point.

The next day was a repeat of the first. Her following me everywhere around the house. Getting angry if I place anything anywhere except in my room. And starts getting narky if I do 'outrageous' things like cooking without asking her.

I speak to my boyfriend. I'm not happy. I don't know what to do. I feel that i may have made a terrible mistake. He calms me down and urges me to give it a bit more time - maybe she'll settle down in a week or so?

But later that afternoon, after more weirdness and her starting to try to convert me, I am in my room, crying with tiredness and fear. I decide I need to talk to someone with Yoda-like wisdom. My mum. Since it's a long distance call, I ask where the phone is.

No, she says. I want you to get your own account. Oh, I say, like the pin-number thingy with separate phone accounts? No, says she again - I want you to pay the phone company to put in an extra line as I don't want you using my phone.

The final straw. I responded hysterically 'But that costs hundreds of dollars - and I just want to call my mum!' and burst into tears.

To be fair, my tears melt her previously ice-cold christian heart and she 'lets' me use the telephone to call my mum.

My mum is very wise. When I tell her the story of all the goings-on she says, sagely: Get out, now!!!!

To cut a ridiculously long story a bit shorter - after losing my bond and some rent money, and being abused by the christian, the christian's boyfriend, and the 'heavy' she brings round the next day, I end up moving my stuff to a friends house on a monday evening. The quickest f**kin move I've ever done.

That was very stressful. It then took me about two months to find another place. I now ask any potential housemates about ANY religious affiliation before moving in. I would recommend you, dear reader, do the same.

That is all. Very long, isn't it?
(blu-k, Sun 8 Apr 2007, 14:45, Reply)